The Quest for the Heart Orb (21 page)

“About what?”

“Whether or not you would let me do the same to you.”

Bredon stared at her in surprise, then gasped as he grew instantly hard again.  He pulled her close and kissed her long and deep before pulling back and forcing himself to release her.  “We must stop now,” he said while still trying to catch his breath.  “Our hour is almost up.”  He pulled Kapia’s skirt back down to her ankles and lifted her out of his lap and onto the cushion beside him.  She knelt gracefully and ran her fingers through her hair to smooth it, careful not to watch Bredon as he attempted to close his pants over his raging erection. 

After tying his laces loosely, he closed his vest and got up to raise the flap on the entrance.  Then he poured himself and Kapia each a small glass of wine and sat back down.  Kapia sipped her wine, feeling nervous and unsettled.  It took Bredon a few minutes to calm himself before he realized something was bothering her.

“Kapia?” he asked, pretending he didn’t notice Zakiel walk by and glance in.  “What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.  “I thought…I mean I know that you’re…I didn’t mean to leave….”  She waved a hand in the vague direction of his groin and he understood.

“Do not be sorry, love,” he said, keeping his voice low.  “It’s practically a permanent condition when I’m around you, or thinking of you.  It doesn’t mean you didn’t give me the most exquisite pleasure I’ve ever experienced, because you did.  I must admit though, that I’m extremely satisfied with myself.”

“You are?”

“Oh yes,” he said, smiling that little smile again that she was just beginning to understand.  He leaned forward and whispered.  “I tasted your first pleasure, an honor I will remember for all time.  It was deliciously beautiful.  I’m looking forward to repeating the experience again, and again.”

Chapter Seven

By the middle of the second week everyone was well used to traveling again, but the cold, damp weather was hard on people born and raised in the desert.  That they were actually on their way home went a long way toward keeping everyone’s spirits from sinking too low.  There were no more demon attacks, so they made very good time in spite of the mountainous terrain, which didn’t hurt spirits either.  Whether they had Marene to thank for that, or the increasing cold, was uncertain.

Ren had finally passed the period of pain that came with riding day after day, which was a huge relief.  She’d expected to become bored with the routine after the first few days, but found that she was so distracted by all of the new things around her that time passed fairly quickly.  Best of all, she was finally coming to accept that no one was going to leap up and begin calling her names or accuse her of being a demon when she least expected it.  Everyone treated her as though she were no different from the other women, which was almost too much to believe at times.  She was even beginning to think she might, one day, become used to it.

Garundel kept his distance from her, though she couldn’t decide if he was avoiding her, or just busy.  She hadn’t had another chance to offer the package to him, which troubled her.  She considered, briefly, asking Marl to give it to him for her, but decided that she had to keep to the letter of the promise she’d made to her mother, and give it to him herself.  Besides, she hadn’t yet told Marl that Garundel was her father.

Marl struggled to keep his distance from Ren, but it was a battle he couldn’t seem to win.  Each night he decided that he would ask Garundel to reassign him, and each morning he swore that he would perform his duties as though she were a stranger.  But when she looked at him with those clear, green eyes that seemed to look straight through to his soul and invited him to share dinner with her, or lunch, or just to ride side by side with her for a time, he wanted nothing more in the world than to say yes.  He didn’t always give into his own desires though.  He managed to refuse her about half the time.  It was the other half that ate at him.

It was agonizing enough to know that he was not honorable enough to court her.  That he was too weak to deny himself the joy of her company was almost unbearable.  The situation was beginning to take a serious toll on him.  He ate little, slept less, and remained in a constant state of worry and indecision.

Ren knew that Marl struggled, and she understood why.  She noticed that his face was becoming gaunt, and that the dark circles under his eyes grew heavier daily.  She also knew that unless something happened soon, the empty place in his mind would destroy him, and she’d be powerless to stop it.  But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t grasp whatever thought she’d missed the day he’d told her what had happened to him.  She began to think it had been her imagination.

Zakiel had his own set of worries.  The first thing he did each morning was to check the direction of the wind.  So far it had not blown out of the north, proof that winter was holding back its worst.  He knew their luck wouldn’t last much longer, though.  He took advantage of the respite and pushed the company to travel as quickly as he dared without compromising safety.  It was the last day of the second week of their journey when, shortly after striking camp, the dreaded north wind began to blow.  It brought with it a drop in temperature, a sky full of dark gray clouds that spoke of snow, and a feeling of dread. 

They traveled as quickly as they could while the storm built throughout the day until it became nearly dark in the middle of the afternoon.  Zakiel called a halt and the tents were pitched while everyone kept a wary eye on the sky.  Then, much to everyone’s surprise and relief, the worst of the clouds drifted away, the wind died down, and everyone relaxed with the knowledge that their first big winter storm had granted them a reprieve.  There was still the feel of snow on the air, but no sign of a blizzard.

Since they had extra time, Karma and Kapia asked Lashi and Caral to prepare an especially nice meal that evening.  Bredon came early to visit with Kapia, so Ren decided to go for a walk and give them a little time alone.  The first person she saw when she stepped out of the tent was Marl.  He was walking toward her, so she went to meet him half way.

“Would you like to have dinner with us tonight?” she asked when they stopped inches from each other in the middle of the camp.  “Karma, Prince Zakiel, Tiari, Sir Tomas, and Sir Bredon will be joining Kapia and me in the women’s tent.”

“I’m not sure that would be a good idea, Hara Ren,” Marl said.

“Why not?” Ren asked, undeterred.  He initially declined her invitations more often than not.  “You need to eat, and I know you love Lashi’s cooking.”

“Yes, I do,” Marl agreed, then shook his head sharply.  “It’s still not a good idea.”

At this point she generally let it go.  She never pushed him to accept, and she never asked why he refused.  This time, before she knew she was going to do it, she asked, “Will you tell me why?”

“Because I want you, Ren,” he blurted, sounding almost angry.  “Were it not for the darkness in my mind, I would ask…it doesn’t matter,” he finished, shaking his head.  “I’m not worthy of you, and yet I cannot make myself stay away no matter how hard I try.  And you don’t make it any easier for me with your constant invitations.”

“You make that sound like an accusation,” Ren said.

“It is,” Marl said, then took a deep breath to calm himself.  “You shouldn’t want me around you.”

“I don’t agree,” she said. 

“You should,” Marl said.  “I’m tainted, Ren, and I refuse to spread that taint to you.  You deserve better.”

“Isn’t that for me to decide?”

“It’s for both of us to decide, and my decision is to keep my distance from now on,” Marl said.  “I will ask Garundel to assign a new guard for you.”

“What if you never learn what happened during those lost days?” Ren asked, wrapping her arms around herself in a useless effort to hold back the pain she was trying so desperately to hide.  “Must we both sacrifice our future happiness to the unknown?”

“I see no other choice, Ren,” Marl said, gentling his voice.  “I want you to be happy above all things, and I cannot see that being possible so long as I am in your life.”

Ren searched his eyes for a long time before nodding slowly.  “I see that I cannot change your mind.”

“No, you cannot.  But don’t worry, there are other men in the world.  Good men.”

Ren gave him a sad smile, then took a deep, shaky breath, and lifted her chin.  “You’ve made your choice, Sir Marl, and I’ve made mine.  I will wait until you realize that your honor is a part of you that can never be changed by outside forces.  However long that takes.”

“Ren,” Marl began, but she held up one hand to stop him. 

“I will not change my mind,” she said with all the calm she could display with a shattered heart.  “Now, will you come to dinner?”

“I’m afraid I must decline,” Marl said with a stiff bow.  “But I thank you for the invitation.”  Ren nodded, then turned around and went back to the women’s tent, careful to keep her shoulders back, her head up, and her tears deep inside where no one could see them. 

***

Karma, Kapia, and Tiari knew that something was bothering Ren, and they knew it had something to do with Marl.  Since she was not inclined to talk about it, they did the only thing they could do for her; they attempted to divert the men’s attention from her during dinner.  Nobody could reasonably label Zakiel, Bredon, or Tomas as
unobservant
, so it was no surprise that they all figured out that something was wrong, and what that something likely was, before Timon and Lashi finished ladling the soup.  Fortunately, Ren
was
unobservant, barely noticing anything or anyone throughout the meal, so deep was her despair.  By the time dinner was finished they were all ready to knock some sense into Marl.  They’d even decided to flip a coin to see who went first while the rest held him down, all without Ren being any the wiser.

After dinner Zakiel left to meet with the Hunters not on guard duty, and Tomas and Bredon went to oversee a shift change.  Ren excused herself to her chamber, to no one’s surprise, and Karma visited with Tiari and Kapia until Bredon and Tomas returned.  Though both couples urged her to stay, Karma knew they were just being polite.  Besides, the imminent change in the weather had her feeling edgy and restless.  She wished them all a good night and stepped outside, deciding that a brisk walk around camp before bed was just what she needed. 

She saw Zakiel sitting at the central campfire with a group of men, their heads together as they talked.  Not wanting to interrupt them, she turned around and walked in the opposite direction, careful to stay within the light of the torches circling the camp.

Something cold and wet hit her cheek and she looked up to see snowflakes floating down from the dark sky in the torchlight.  She wiped it away, idly wondering where Nikura had gone off to, when she heard the sound of running footsteps behind her and a hoarse shout.  She turned around in time to see a tall, thin man with a vaguely familiar face, running straight at her.  His mouth and eyes were opened wide, and he was holding a large butcher knife in one fist high above his head.  She barely had time to register that much before the man plowed into her, slamming her to the ground so hard that it knocked the wind out of her.

The man crouched over her, shoved her cloak aside, and grabbed the Ti-Ank at her waist with his free hand while the other held the enormous knife poised above her chest.  All he had to do was let his arm drop.  Just once was all it would take.  The size of the knife was such that she doubted she’d survive no matter where it struck. 

The man’s mouth stretched into a wide, maniacal smile, and one look into his equally maniacal eyes told Karma there would be no reasoning with him.  He not only intended to kill her, he meant to
enjoy
it.  Luckily, he got distracted when the Ti-Ank failed to come free of the loop on her belt. 

He yanked at it again, but it remained stubbornly affixed to her belt.  He screamed with rage as he began jerking at his prize over and over again, causing the belt to dig painfully into her back, while his knife swayed above her, one second over her face, the next over her heart.  In spite of his efforts, the thin leather loop holding the Ti-Ank to her belt held fast.

The man’s weight on top of her prevented her from drawing air into her lungs and her vision began to grow spotty around the edges.  Still unable to tear her eyes from the blade threatening to take her life, Karma barely registered the dark, silvery blur flashing over her, taking the man, and his knife, with it as it flew past.  The man’s scream became a strained gurgle before it cut off abruptly just as her lungs finally filled with much needed air.  A moment later Zakiel was on his knees beside her, his hands running over her frantically as he searched for injuries.

“I’m fine, Zakiel,” she gasped as she reached for the Ti-Ank with one hand, relieved to find it still at her waist as her other hand spread protectively over her stomach.  “I’m fine.”

“You are
not
fine,” he growled, the marks of both the Tigren and the Vatra fully displayed.  “I saw you hit the ground,
valia
.  Saw that…that…
obscenity
on top of you.  Please be still while I make sure you’re uninjured.”

“What happened?” she asked, looking up to find a crowd of men staring down at her.  “Never mind, let me up.”

“Karma,” Zakiel began, but she interrupted him.

“Please, Zakiel,” she whispered.  He looked up at his men’s faces, and hesitated.  After her serious injury weeks earlier, he understood the depth of their need to be assured that Lady Techu was well.  At the same time, he also understood her need to be away from the stares.  He stood up with her cradled in his arms, her face pressed against his chest.  He bowed slightly to the Hunters gathered around, a silent promise to let them know how she was as soon as he knew.  Then he turned and hurried toward their tent.  “I can walk,” she said, her voice muffled against his cloak.

“No,” Zakiel replied shortly, tightening his hold.