The Queen of Bad Decisions (2 page)

“I’m making goulash. Why don’t you start chopping the onions and celery while I get the hamburger going.”

Her mother wasn’t a gourmet cook, but goulash was a tried and true specialty that made Daisy’s mouth water. It was far from a Hungarian goulash, laced with paprika and topped with sour cream, but it was always tasty. The dish consisted of wide egg noodles mixed with chunks of browned hamburger, onion and celery topped off with stewed tomatoes. Her mother dumped a package of raw hamburger into a frying pan and broke it up with a wooden spoon while Daisy washed a celery stalk. She’d save the onion for last. The pungent, yellow ones that were sitting in a basket on the counter always made her cry. There was no sense in starting that again until the last possible moment.

“Thanks for coming and getting me so quickly. I’ve never seen him so drunk that early in the day.”

Her mother shrugged. “You’re a grown woman. By now I trust you to know when something’s wrong. It was smart to get out when you did.” She stopped stirring the hamburger and pointed the spoon at Daisy. “Now stay away from him and don’t go back. If he was close to hurting you tonight, he will hurt you in the future. There is absolutely no reason to stay in an abusive relationship. You can sleep on the couch for as long as you need.”

Daisy held up her arms in surrender. “I won’t go back to that asshole. No question about that. I don’t even know what I was doing with him anyway.”

It was true. The first part of their relationship was a blur. She had just broken up with her fiance after discovering him playing find the sausage with her slutty cousin in the backseat of
her
car. The first thing she did, after throwing the engagement ring at him and threatening to rip off his penis, was douse the car seat with an entire bottle of disinfectant spray. A few days later she was drinking cheap beer at a dive bar with a guy from the Kwik-E Lube oil change place. Within a few weeks they went from getting drunk together to living together. Obviously she hadn’t been thinking or seeing clearly for a long time. Gary was an ugly scumbag who sported a greasy, 80’s style mullet haircut with pride.

Her mother grabbed a couple cans of stewed tomatoes out of the cabinet and handed them to Daisy to open. “That’s a poor excuse for staying in a mentally abusive relationship. Don’t tell me he wasn’t that bad, either. I know he was. I could tell whenever I saw you two together that he was treating you like crap. Nobody deserves to live like that and I don’t want to ever see you with someone like Gary again. Understand?”

Daisy nodded. Mental abuse. It was like the realization had been hiding in a dark corner of her brain while she worked and tried to survive in the smothering relationship. There was never a good reason for her to be with him, yet she mindlessly stayed and couldn’t explain, even to herself, why. “Don’t worry. I learned my lesson. I’d rather be alone and turn into a crazy cat lady than go through another relationship like that.”

“Good. That’s what I want to hear. Now make sure you practice what you say. I don’t want you to be alone, but that’s better than being tormented by a jackass.”

The comment was harsh, but her mother wasn’t the kind of woman that sugar-coated the truth. They continued to make dinner, easily falling into sync and working together like they used to. Learning how to cook from her mom had saved Daisy and various roommates from eating potato chips and ketchup for dinner many times. The cooking style wasn’t fancy and often used inexpensive ingredients, but it was always good and hearty. Her father opened the front door as her mother poured the goulash into a plain, white bowl.

“Hey, sweetie,” he said as he hugged Daisy. “Are you having dinner with us tonight? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

She kissed him on the cheek. He smelled of car exhaust and sweat from working at the auto repair shop. Not a good idea to dump the fact that she was moving back in on him two seconds after walking in the door. “Sorry. I’ve been busy lately. We can catch up over dinner.”

He tossed an insulated plastic coffee mug in the sink. The containers probably needed to be replaced every six months. Daisy had tried drinking coffee he made a few times when she was in high school. It was so strong it could double as paint remover, or maybe wood stain. When he disappeared into the bedroom to change out of his mechanic’s uniform Daisy asked, “What do you think he’ll say when he finds out I’m moving back in?”

“We’re talking about your father. When does he ever say much? We’ll all manage. You decided you need to get away from Gary and that’s all that matters. At least you’re safe here.” She set a stack of plates on the corner of the dining table. “And it’s only temporary.”

“Safe from what?” her father asked as he lumbered back into the kitchen. He grabbed a can of beer out of the refrigerator and sat down at the head of the table. He looked at her mother and then at Daisy. “Someone going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Daisy needed a place to stay for a bit.” Her mother spooned a mound of goulash onto a plate and set it on the plaid placemat in front of him. “She isn’t living with Gary anymore, so she’ll be sleeping on the couch for now.”

Her parents had downsized to a less expensive, two bedroom apartment after Bobby graduated from high school and moved in with a couple of his buddies. The empty nest lasted for less than a year. Little brother was currently living in the guest bedroom because his friends kicked him out for not paying his portion of the rent. Now, here she was. The wood of the old dining chair groaned as her father leaned back. Even though he was in his fifties he was still built like a pro wrestler, big and imposing. He added a small spoonful of green beans to his plate and grabbed a slice of bread from the wicker bread basket. The basket, with a clay tile that had been warmed in the oven nestled under a cloth napkin, was always filled with Italian bread from the diner where her mother worked. It was a dinner time staple that Daisy couldn’t remember ever not being present. She and her mother sat down at the table as the uncomfortable silence settled around them. As her father slathered his second slice of bread with a pat of butter he asked, “Gary still works at that oil change place on Patterson, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So he’s bringing home a regular paycheck to put a roof over your head. What else do you want?”

A typical line of reasoning from her father. What did love have to do with anything if you have a place to live? He had a heart of gold, but sometimes it got tarnished from the long hours of hard work at the garage. Daisy looked him in the eye. Even though she was twenty five, staring down her father still made her feel like she deserved a medal of valor. “How about some respect? Gary treated his dog better than me and the dog ran away two months ago.”

“Then I guess it’s good that you’re here. Cut your losses and choose a better man next time.” He took a long swig of beer and added, “I really mean it about finding a better boyfriend. I don’t want a loser for a son in-law in the future.”

Daisy pushed beans around with her the fork, arranging them side by side like a picket fence. Both of her parents had obviously been worried about ending up with Gary as a son in-law. If only she could wrap a fence around her heart and protect it. At the moment it felt like it had been dragged behind a car on a dirt road. Better man next time? There wasn’t going to be a next time for a very long time. If once bitten was twice shy, where did twice bitten leave her? Too freaked out to even read a romance book, let alone think about going on a date. There was no danger of dear old dad getting a son in-law anytime soon.

After dinner she helped wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. Her father was already stretched out in the recliner in the living room when she and her mother settled onto opposite ends of the couch. A stock car race thundered on the television. Daisy had retrieved a knitting project from the plastic storage bin. Her mother slipped on a pair of tortoise-rimmed glasses and pulled a battered paperback book out of the magazine rack end table. The narrow, black scarf snaked across Daisy’s lap as her knitting needles clicked in a staccato rhythm. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her dad’s eyes were closed. A little nap before bedtime. At least she wouldn’t have to explain any more of her dysfunctional, failed relationship to him.

As Daisy worked the simple stitch sequence the day played out like a movie looping through her mind. It was really, finally, definitely, completely over with Gary. Not that it had ever been good, but the relationship had been crumbling like a sandy cliff in a monsoon over the past couple months. The idiot probably wouldn’t even bother to call to see if she left him or had been abducted by aliens. The quiet swish of her mother turning a page plunged another thought into the tangle that was already crowding her brain. She needed to get to work in the morning, but now the book store was five miles, instead of five blocks, away. Unless there was some kind of magical portal that had manifested in her wallet, it was still empty. Busses didn’t take sticks of gum or old receipts as payment. She had been walking from Gary’s apartment to save money, but that wasn’t possible now. There wasn’t a shower in the bathroom at the store to wash off the stinky sweat from walking so far on a humid, summer morning. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Her mother tilted her head down to look over the top of the dime store magnifying glasses. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to need to take the bus to work in the morning and I don’t have any money. I spent my last two dollars buying spaghetti for the dinner I left on the stove at Gary’s.” Daisy put down the knitting needles and ran her fingers through her tangled hair. Begging mommy for money. Real mature and grown up. “I get paid tomorrow, but can I borrow ten dollars for bus fare so I can get to work and back?”

“That isn’t a problem.” She got up, unearthed a crumpled bill in her purse and handed it to Daisy. “I’m surprised you’re flat broke. You have a decent job still, don’t you?”

“Yes, I work at a book store, but I had to buy all of the groceries for both of us as well as paying half the rent.”

“What a charmer. No reason to waste his money when he can find a woman to pay for everything.” Her mother dropped back onto the couch. “I have enough to worry about with your little brother, I don’t need to end up in the loony asylum because of you kids.”

Nice. A chance to move the spotlight elsewhere. She’d have to remember to thank little bro for providing a diversion. Or maybe not. That would actually involve being nice. And talking with him on purpose. “What’s Bobby done now, besides being a lazy leech?”

Her mother’s fingers drummed on the cover of the book. Since there was no reprimand for calling him a slimy insect, she was probably feeling the same way. Blood might be thicker than water, but that didn’t mean a mom couldn’t get pissed about her children’s questionable life choices. “He finally has a job. It’s the trashy girlfriend that spends all of his money. She’s the problem.”

Poor mom. Her babies were ruining their lives dating losers. “Where is Bobby? He still lives here doesn’t he?”

“Who knows. Probably boozing it up with her again. He’s liable to come home in the middle of the night, so don’t start screaming thinking he’s a burglar. I need to get up at four.” She used the remote to shut off the television then slowly stood. As she passed in front of the recliner she nudged the footrest with her thigh. “Come on, Hank. Time for bed.”

Her father grunted a goodnight as he shuffled into the bedroom. Her mother yawned and stretched as she limped down the hallway. Years of waitressing were taking a toll. Her chocolate brown hair was peppered with gray strands. Often she winced when she stood up or sat down. Daisy glanced at the clock hanging on the wall behind the television. It was only 9 p.m.

“Here are some sheets and blankets,” her mother said as she returned and tossed a pile of white linens on the end of the couch. “We’ll shut our bedroom door so you can keep the lamp on, but please don’t turn the TV back on. I can’t sleep with the noise.”

The master bedroom door was to the left of the entertainment center. The sound would seep right through the wall. “No problem. Have a good night and thank you for helping me.”

Her mother just nodded and shut the door behind herself. Daisy tucked the sheet, that smelled of a pungent combination of bleach and flowery fabric softener, around the couch cushions. She found pajamas in one of the garbage bags full of clothes and headed to the bathroom for her usual pre-bedtime routine. After changing into the PJs, applying zit cream and brushing her teeth she returned to the living room and settled in under a light, fleece blanket to knit. The sound of her father’s buzz saw snores filtered through the bedroom door. Would he continue through the entire night?

Luckily the stitch pattern she was using was easy and mindless because she kept going over options of where else she could live, instead of counting stitches. All of her friends either lived with their boyfriends or were crowded into small apartments. Most of them would let her crash on a couch for a few nights, but nobody had room to let her stay. The front door slowly swung open. Bobby peeked through the opening and jumped back when he saw her. Obviously he wasn’t expecting anybody to be in the living room after 10 p.m. A sneer was plastered on his face as he quietly shut the door behind himself and crossed the room to tower over Daisy. There was a threatening edge to his voice as he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I left Gary and needed a place to crash for a bit.”

“So you came running home to mommy and daddy.” The sharp scent of alcohol on his breath cut through the stench of sweat surrounding him like a toxic cloud. Her mom had been right about what he’d been doing. He smelled exactly like Gary did on many nights. Eau de Loser, the scent every respectable woman should run from. He continued the verbal assault. “You’re such a loser. Don’t even know how to please a man enough for him to keep you around.”