The Pursuit (17 page)

Both boys looked at her.

“What are you thinking?” Niki asked, but they couldn’t answer her. Richard said nothing, and Christopher only shrugged. Niki read their faces and could find no distress, so she kissed them goodnight and made her way back downstairs. Gar and Juliana were as she’d left them.

“Are they all tucked in?”

“Yes. They asked if I was leaving them again.”

“Are you?” Juliana asked.

“No. They heard me tell you I wanted to talk and made assumptions.” Niki didn’t keep speaking, but her friends waited. “I guess I shouldn’t have said that we need to talk,” she continued, her voice calm and even. “It’s you two who need to talk.”

“Why is that?” This came from Juliana.

“Because I can tell that you’re bothered about something, and I wish to know what it is.”

Juliana looked to her husband, but he was still staring at Niki.

“Jules knows nothing of this,” Gar began. “That is to say, I haven’t discussed my realizations with her, but I’ve had some thoughts just since you arrived back. I did plan to ask you about them.”

“Is there any reason you can’t do that now?” Niki wished to know.

“The only reason that comes to mind is that I haven’t figured out a way to ask gently, and I have no wish to be harsh.”

Niki didn’t expect this, but neither was she going to run from it.

“I don’t bruise that easily, Gar. You may state what’s on your mind.”

“So be it,” he said, still aware of the way his wife watched him. “It’s just occurred to me that old Mrs Bettencourt has gotten her way. I mean, she hasn’t had control over the boys as she wished, but neither have you been able to be with them. And I think that is a crime.”

Niki smiled. “Only just today I had that same thought. I’m glad you had it too, Gar, because I’m standing by my decision not to be separated from them again. I said that to you my first morning back, but I didn’t know if you took me seriously, so I’ll say it again: If I feel a need to leave here, I’ll take the boys with me. I know that no one’s heart will go unaffected, but I feel it’s what I must do.”

Juliana’s hand came to her mouth. Covering his own hurt, Gar reached for her.

“Please don’t cry, Jules,” he begged.

“I can’t stand the thought of not seeing them.”

“We will see them,” Gar stated confidently. “We’ll either go to them or have Niki and the boys back here or wherever we live.” Gar shifted so he could look into her eyes. “Don’t let it make you sad.”

Niki ached for the tenderness of a man in her life. Gar looked at Juliana as though she were priceless to him. He was a bit older than she was and had never believed he would find love. When he’d spotted Juliana, he’d lost his heart completely. The only thing missing had been children. They’d never been able to have any. Niki’s children had filled that empty place. She could only imagine how painful it would be to take the boys away.

“I’m sorry, Niki,” Juliana apologized, trying to control herself.

“It’s all right, Jules. Think of how I must feel every time that coach takes Denley and me away.”

Her friend nodded in real sympathy.

“So what does this look like right now?” Gar asked the only question on his mind. “Are you and the boys leaving soon?”

“I’m not planning on that. Hopefully we won’t need to move for some time, but it has occurred to me that come spring we might need to relocate for a while. That isn’t to say we won’t be back, but it might be for the best.

“One of these days I’ll have to put them in school, and that will certainly limit where we can be, but for now, we might need to keep moving to be safe.”

The Lawtons understood. They always knew it would come to this but had not been able to imagine the actual event.

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” Niki asked, suddenly filled with doubts.

“Yes.” Juliana surprised her by being the one to answer. “The boys need you. We can’t tell them about their father, and much as we love them, you are their mother. If you were not able to care for them, it would be a different story. I wish with all my heart that they could stay forever, but you’re their mother.”

Gar was nodding to all of this, and Niki’s heart knew no end of relief.

“Will you give us some warning?” he suddenly requested.

“Certainly, and I don’t believe it will be any time soon. I want to relax and enjoy Christmas, and beyond that, this last trip drained me. I feel worn out, my brain sluggish. Unless we’re spotted, I don’t plan to move for several months.”

Details as to where and how had not been worked out, but it didn’t matter. The Lawtons knew of her plans and would support her. For the moment, she couldn’t ask for anything more.

Christmas morning was wonderful. Niki had found a Bible in the library and began by reading Luke 2 to the children. They sat very quietly, even knowing that gifts awaited, and Gar and Juliana seemed to enjoy the biblical account as well. Niki changed the subject when Christopher wanted to know what a virgin was, but other than that, it was a very special time.

Snow had dusted the ground overnight, and the boys were ecstatic. Just as soon as gifts were opened, Denley helped the boys into their outdoors things, and they went outside with their mother to play.

There was a sense of safety at Kendal-in-the-Forest. The house was large and well built, but it was more than that. The woods were lush and felt protective. Niki knew that she couldn’t put too much stock into such feelings, but with all the traveling she’d done, it was hard not to.

As Niki was taking in the trees and still-falling snow, a small, wet snowball suddenly splashed into the side of her head. Her thoughts had been miles away, and she’d completely missed the fact that the boys had worked to build an arsenal of snowballs, all of them filled with leaves. Niki started on her own pile, and while far behind theirs, did her best to defend herself.

Watching them from the window, Juliana smiled at the sight. She was completely unaware that Gar watched the scene from another room, tears coming down his face as he told himself it would probably be their last Christmas together.

It was mid-January before Niki was able to awaken in the morning without feeling beaten down by fatigue and worry. She had rested for nearly a month, clearing her mind of everything and simply trying to regain her balance in the unsettling life she’d found herself.

And all this time her mail had piled up. With no inclination to read letters from anyone, she had not been even the least bit curious as to who had written or what anyone had to say.

Her mail always came to her by a very circuitous route. She had several people outside of the Lawtons who were on her side and willing to help. Those people had gotten word to friends and the very small number of family Niki had left to inform them that she was out of France and moving around. It was through these people that her mail was forwarded and finally arrived in her hands. She might not get a piece for several months after it was written, which kept her awfully behind on news, but it was worth it to keep the boys away from their paternal grandmother.

Niki scrambled out of bed long enough to retrieve the stack of letters and then scooted back under the covers to read them. She made herself comfortable on the pillow and hoped someone would arrive with tea before too long.

The first letter was from Vernay, a man who lived in France and had been a good friend of her husband’s. He didn’t have much to say, and Niki wondered if he didn’t feel rather obligated to keep in touch. She doubted she would write back to him and hoped that he hadn’t been convinced by Patrice Bettencourt, Louis’ mother, to help her find the twins.

The next letter was of greater interest. Niki’s Aunt Mary was in touch. She hadn’t had communication with her in a very long time, and she wasn’t even a true aunt—the relation was rather distant—but her letter, written in a lovely hand, captivated Niki from the start.

Dearest Niki,

It’s been a very long time. I hope this letter finds you well, but I can’t imagine anything is in place with the way your mother-in-law has treated you. I hope you don’t find me intrusive, but I was in London recently to do some Christmas shopping and saw Lyssa Seadon. She informed me of your situation. I have been praying for you ever since, but right now I feel as though I want to do more.

Please consider our home in your travels. We are quite tucked away here, and in case you’ve lost track, all of our children are grown and in their own homes. You would only have to put up with the two of us, and we would love to see you and your precious little boys.

Niki read on in some surprise, thinking back to when she’d last visited her Aunt Mary. It had been many, many years, but the memory was a good one. The letter closed:

No matter what you decide, please know that I hold you close in my heart and prayers, believing that God has a plan for you and the boys.

Much love to you now and always,
Aunt Mary

Niki didn’t reach for the rest of her letters for quite some time. Mary’s words had done strange things to Niki’s heart. How many weeks had she been at Kendal-in-the-Forest and not sought out a church? Old fears died hard, but so did stubbornness, and she was realizing that she had been leaning on herself for far too long. If she and the boys went to Aunt Mary’s, maybe she could learn more.

A knock on the door interrupted these musings as Violet, Juliana’s personal maid, came with the tea tray. Niki accepted it gratefully and enjoyed a full cup before the boys found her. They wanted to snuggle for a short time, but wrestling soon ensued, and Niki almost found herself with a lap full of hot tea.

“Go and dress,” she commanded them, rescuing all involved. “We shall breakfast downstairs as soon as you’re ready.”

The boys left with only a bit of complaint, and Niki went back to Mary’s letter. She read it again and then folded it carefully for later review. She skimmed a few more letters, but none held her interest as Aunt Mary’s had.

The boys were back before she was ready, having already been downstairs and found her missing. Niki threw herself together, promising herself a long bath later, and went to join her children at the breakfast table.

More than a week later, Gar found himself in the mood to carve wood. His gifts at Christmas time had been small wooden soldiers for the boys—nearly an army of them—and lovely intricate bookends for Niki, all carved by his own hand. Those done, he proclaimed he had nothing in reserve and must carve more.

“But, Gar,” his wife concluded, “Christmas is past, and there are no more birthdays until the fall.”

“You never know when you might need a gift,” he reasoned as he kept his head bent over his work.

Juliana left him to it, keeping the boys from his workroom when they came looking for him.

“We want to go in the woods with Gar,” they pleaded, trying to convince her.

“Well, dears, he’s busy,” she replied gently but firmly. “You’ll have to talk me or your mother into it.”