The Pulse Series (Book 1): Pulse (18 page)

Bradley sighed and looked toward the rising sun. "I'm not going to punish you, but I do want you to tell me something."

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows.

"What makes you think I hated you?"

I turned away from him and frowned. "I could tell you did. The way you looked at me with disappointment. The way you got that disgusted look every time we got close. It doesn't take a scientist to work out that you didn't like me."

"I see."

I turned and could see that he was frowning at a spot on the ground. "You didn't have many friends did you?"

The question came out of left field, but I answered him anyway. "No, I didn't."

He nodded as if I had just confirmed something, and looked up to meet my eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened before. I assure you it will not happen again. Let me ask you a question though. All that aside, why didn't you just come and ask me if you could run the course? I would have approved it, and could have organized supervision for you."

After everything that had just happened, I had almost forgotten the reason we were arguing. I thought back to what he had said. "Because I wanted to do it for myself. Not for anyone else."

Bradley gave me a small smile. "I can respect that, but it doesn't change anything. You could have asked me to keep quiet about it and I would have."

I opened my mouth with a retort, but paused. After a few seconds I frowned. "I didn't even consider that."

"You don't trust me, do you?"

I paused to consider my words. "No. That's not your fault. I don't trust anyone."

"Why not?"

"I don't need your pity. I'm not some little girl."

"My jaw attests to that." His half smile made a reappearance on his face. "I'm not trying to pity you. I'm trying to understand you."

I sighed and turned away from him. Why didn't I trust anyone? It was a simple question, but not so simple an answer. I tried anyway.

"Why would I trust anyone?" He opened his mouth to respond, but I held up a hand to silence him. "I grew up in a city of violence. I've had locks on my door since I was five. Most of the time it was to keep my mother out so I could sleep." I swallowed the lump in my throat. When I had woken this morning I hadn't been planning on spilling my guts about my past. "The first people who you're meant to trust are you parents, but I spent the first half of my life learning how I couldn't trust mine. The last half I've spent avoiding her."

"What about your Dad?"

I stared at him. "Who?"

His shoulders sagged a little, but he dropped the question. "You never had anyone else?"

"There was a friend I trusted once," I felt my eyes prickle at the memory, and I grit my teeth to stop anything from spilling over.

"So what changed?"

"He sold me to the military for credits." I looked up and stared him in the eye. "I believe you had that pleasure."

Bradley's mouth fell open. Whether from shock or something else, I didn't know. I felt my body sag and realized the day had exhausted me. I turned to Bradley again.

"If that's all you needed, I'd like to head back to the barracks and lie down for a while."

Bradley set his mouth in a line and looked up at me for a few seconds before nodding. "Again, I'm sorry."

I gave him a small smile. "Me too."

TWENTY-TWO

Sarah look up at me as I entered our room. "What happened?"

As I saw her I burst into tears and rushed into her arms. Her shocked expression was soon replaced with one of worry, but she just led me over to the bed and held me while I cried. After a few minutes I managed to calm down, and then felt awkward in my friend's arms. I pulled away.

"Sorry."

She gave me a soft smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, but that's what friends do, right?"

Sarah shook her head. "Only if you want to. To be honest I just want to be sure you're okay."

I took a few deep breaths and looked up at her. Here was someone who didn't want me for some reason or another. She didn't have anything to use me for. Heck I was dragging her down with how anti-social and awkward I was, but she stuck by me anyway. For the first time I saw her for the friend she was. The friend she had been to me for a long time. I wished I had noticed sooner.

I took a deep breath. "I want to tell you what happened, but I need to tell you some other stuff first. I need to tell you about my life before I came here."

Sarah leaned forward to put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure? If you're not ready you don't have to."

I smiled up at her. Her initial enthusiasm about wanting to know where I had grown up had abated when I told her I didn't want to talk about it. She hadn't pressed me for any information even once since then. Even now she just wanted to make sure that I was okay rather than satisfying her own curiosity. I didn't deserve a friend like this.

I gave her a smile. "If there is anyone I would want to know about it, it's you."

Sarah smiled back and grabbed my hand. For once I didn't shy away from the contact. It was a comfort instead of an invasion. I smiled down at our hands and started to tell her my story. It was slow going at first, but once I got into it it all just came out. My childhood, the things I'd seen, the things I'd had to do to survive, the times I'd had to run, the times I'd had to fight. Everything. Even Trey.

Once I had finished telling her my story, I told her what had happened this morning. This part was much shorter, but for some reason much harder to get through. I guess a part of me was still trying to process it all, but after finishing I felt much better about it. This must be what sharing your burdens felt like.

Sarah shook her head. "I can't believe he did that. I mean, he saw you there, right? He had to have known what your life was like."

I shook my head. "I'm good at hiding stuff and only showing people what I want them to see. In the city he only saw the me I projected to other people."

Sarah smiled a little. "I don't doubt that for a second. You're always so hard to read."

"Why do you do it?"

"Do what?"

I gave a shrug and tried to ignore the shiver of fear that ran through me. "Be my friend. I'm not the friendliest person ever, and I'm not social. Why don't you go find someone better to spend your time with?"

Sarah frowned at me. "That's the way you see yourself?"

I shrugged again.

Sarah shook her head and smiled. "That's not what I see. When I look at you I don't see someone who's not friendly, I see someone who's honest."

I frowned at her. "Honest?"

"Yeah! You always say what's on your mind, even if it's going to get you into trouble. Everything you say is what you believe, so I know that I can trust you. You never lie about anything. If you don't want to talk about something, you don't, but I've never heard you lie." Sarah laughed out loud. "Heck, girl, you stormed into the office of the most powerful person in this country right now, and
threw his pot plant out of his window."

I blinked at her for a second, and then started smiling. Sarah broke down into giggles.

I shook my head. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid in hindsight, wasn't it?"

Sarah gave a nod. "Yeah, but it was also amazing. You didn't even think twice about it, because you were doing what you thought was right. I'll always admire that about you."

"You admire me?"

"Of course. In more ways than that too. You said you're antisocial. That's one way to look at it, but the other is that you're driven. You have your goals and you don't let anything stand in your path to achieving them. I respect that so much—I wish I had that kind of drive."

I shook my head. "But you're so nice to everybody! You just seem to be able to talk to people so well. You're never awkward, and you never let anything get you down. You're so positive all the time. I can't count the amount of times I've been ready to give up, but I keep going because you're there skipping along beside me humming a tune. You have such great willpower. You're the amazing one."

Sarah smiled and threw her arms around me. Although I flinched a little at first, I took a breath and let myself sink into the embrace. All at once I felt comfortable, warm, and content. I pulled back and the world was blurry for a moment. I wiped my eyes to clear them.

I gave a sigh and closed my eyes. "Thanks. For everything."

"You too. Feeling any better?"

I gave her a nod. "I am." Although we hadn't discussed any of my problems, just her listening to me and being there for me made a world of difference.

A knock came at the door.

Sarah frowned at it and stood to make her way over to see who it was. I couldn't see out when she opened it, but she looked back at me right away with a worried expression. I was about to ask who it was but she stepped outside and closed the door behind her. I frowned up at the door, wondering who it could have been. I know it shouldn't have, but I found myself standing and walking over to the door to press my head against the wood.

Sarah's voice came through muffled. "Look, I think you've done enough for one day, don't you?"

"I know." The sound of Bradley's voice made my mouth go dry. "I just want to make sure she's okay. I was an idiot, and I just wanted to tell her my side of the story."

"You should give her a few days to cool off or you might end up with more than that bruise on your jaw."

I winced at the reminder. I hoped it was just because she knew I had hit him, and it wasn't as bad as she made it out to be.

"I don't care about any more bruises, I just want her to know that I'm not the jerk she thinks I am."

I head Sarah sigh. "She knows that. She's a smart girl. Just let it go for a few days and I'm sure she'll talk to you again."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed open the door, causing them both to jump. I looked up at Bradley's bruised face and winced. It was worse than I had thought. A large purple welt ran halfway up the left side of his cheek.

Sarah turned to me with a look of concern.

"It's fine, Sarah, I'll talk to him."

She gave me a stern look "You don't have to you know."

I smiled at her. "I know. Thanks for sticking up for me, but I'll hear him out."

"Okay." Sarah turned to look at Bradley sideways. "You tell me if he starts being a jerk again."

Bradley winced. I smiled.

"I will."

Sarah turned back to the room and closed the door behind her. Bradley and I stared at each other for a few moments.

"Did you… want to go somewhere private to talk?"

I gave a stiff nod. "Okay."

We made our way down the hall and through the common room. Nadine was in her usual spot and didn't bat an eye, but I saw Jane glaring daggers at the two of us as we walked through the room. I avoided eye contact with her and followed Bradley out the door.

After leaving the building he led us to the edge of the forest, and then continued walking inside. I shivered a little from the cold and followed him in. After a few minutes we arrived at a small pool of water surrounded by grass. It was a beautiful place, if a little cold to enjoy now.

Bradley closed his eyes. "I come here when I need to think. It's nice in the summer. Lots of animals come here to drink, and if you sit still long enough they will come and drink right next to you. It's amazing."

I watched as he smiled at his memories. I looked around the place and just couldn't picture him sitting here with a deer drinking next to him. It clashed too hard with the Bradley I knew.

He gestured to the grass by the pond. "Have a seat." When I chose a spot he sat too, putting a few feet between the two of us.

I looked up at him. Even sitting he was taller than me. "So what did you want to say?"

"A lot, but I don't know where to start."

"How about from the beginning?"

Bradley gave me a smile. "Well I was born in a small town in south Miami." I smiled at him and shook my head. He sighed and turned to face the water. "It was when I first saw you, you know."

"What was?"

"When I knew you were different. You were a mystery that I couldn't wait to unravel."

"What do you mean?"

"Being in the cell block with you wasn't the first time I saw you. I was standing behind the mirror in your interrogation room."

I sighed. That's how fast Trey had sold me out?

Bradley continued. Your outward appearance was all confidence, even in the middle of an interrogation room." He smiled as he looked into the air. "They way you carried yourself. The way you walked. You were in one of the worst situations you could find yourself in and you looked like you owned the place. It was amazing. I could have watched you for hours, but I had a job to do so I had myself put in that cell." He sighed and shook his head. "That's when you surprised me again. I thought a person with that kind of image would be obnoxious and rude. Arrogant even. You were none of those things."

I pulled some grass from the ground and broke it apart between my fingers. It was odd hearing about something you went through from someone else's perspective.

"After that conversation you had me hooked. I had to know more about you. I watched you every moment after that until you threw yourself off that ledge."

"You used your pulse to save me that day, didn't you?"

Bradley nodded and smiled. "Yeah I had to. I wouldn't have been able to without it."

I opened my mouth to ask him, but stopped myself before I did.

"It's okay." He have me a small nod and a smile. "I'll tell you. My power is that I can see every outcome of anything I do for the next few seconds. It's like a limited precognition, but seeing every pathway." He must have noticed my frown. "Precognition is seeing into the future. What it means is that when I use it I can see a million different pathway ahead of me, and how they will play out. It depends on what I do or say. It only shows me a few seconds, but within that time are millions of pathways."

I felt my mouth fall open. "Wow. How do you process all that information?"

He gave a shake of his head. "I don't. It's innate. I couldn't tell you every single iteration, and most of them are only a little different, but it helps in situations like yours."