The Pull of Destiny (79 page)

Bending down till I was
almost level with her, I stared into her sad eyes. “We’ll have fun, Faith.
Don’t worry.”

A flicker of a smile
touched her lips as she looked at me. “Okay,” she repeated, not sounding
enthusiastic at all. Behind her, Hope shrugged, her face etched with despair.

This better work,
Celsi.

I hoped that my plan to
integrate Faith with other children would be enough to wipe the sad expression
off of her face.

Hand in hand, we walked to
the elevator, past Mr. Astor, who stopped talking on his phone long enough to
ask us where we were going. He lowered his voice as he asked and glanced
conscientiously at his daughter, who was staring fixedly ahead.

“I’m taking her to the
daycare I volunteer at,” I explained, my heart thudding in my chest, even
though I knew that he wouldn’t yell at me because Faith was here. Still, I
couldn’t help feeling wary. Mr. Astor scared me! “Hope said it would be okay. I
think that being in a different environment might help cheer Faith up.”

Evidently realising that
Faith definitely needed cheering up, Mr. Astor let us go on our way without
further questions. I scuttled into the elevator, Faith right behind me, and
pushed the down button before he could change his mind.

Once we were in
the elevator, Faith turned to me, an unsure look in her eyes. “Do you think
daddy made Luke get sick, Celsi?” she asked me gravely.

“What?” I asked
in shock, crouching down till I was looking into Faith’s pained eyes. “No,
sweetie, of course not!”

“He yelled at
him and Luke fainted. I saw it, Celsi!” Her face was troubled as she went on.
“I told him not to yell before Luke was in hospital because he was being sick
in the bathroom, but daddy didn’t listen to me.” Hanging her head, she wiped at
a tear running down her cheek as I listened, aghast. “He’s
always
yelling.
It’s scary.”

Faith’s
shoulders shook with silent sobs as I wrapped my arms around the fragile little
girl.
She’s in so much pain...

She had
obviously witnessed more than a child should ever have to, even before Luke
collapsed in front of her. I felt a hot spurt of anger towards Mr. Astor. Did
he have any idea at all how much his anger had affected Faith? Every time he
raised his voice, Faith would be reminded of Luke's illness. It wasn’t right.

“Sweetie, Luke
isn’t sick because your dad yelled at him,” I tried to assure her, wanting to
let her know more than anything that Luke was going to be okay and there was
nobody to blame. But how could I reassure somebody when I barely had confidence
anymore?

Luckily, Faith
didn’t realize that behind my convincing tone lay a turmoil of fear and what
if’s. She sniffled, wiping at her cheeks. “Are you sure?” she asked in a hushed
whisper.

I tried to
shake off my doubts and my fears, trying to be strong.
But it’s so hard!

“Yes,” I
nodded, squeezing Faith’s shoulders gently. “I’m sure.”

The daycare was
rowdy as usual. Faith stood as close to me as possible, her eyes wide as she
stared around the room. I explained her presence to Miss Campbell, who looked
more frazzled than usual. Her blonde hair wisped out of her bun and her eyes
were reddened with either stress or anger.
I’m not sure which.

Miss Campbell
was so glad to see me that she didn’t even bother listening to my explanation.
“Yes, alright, then, she can stay,” she exclaimed, flapping her hands in the
direction of the playing children. “Just- go and make William stop climbing
things!”

Yeah, Miss
Campbell probably took one look at Faith and realized that she was probably
poised to be the best-behaved kid in the room, and if there’s one thing our
daycare is short of, it’s well-behaved kids. Not that I truly minded, though. I
just loved how sweet and accepting most children could be.

The kids were
running rampant around the room, William as the ringleader (
obviously
)
and most destructive of them all.

I took Faith’s
hand. “Come on, Faith, let’s go have some fun,” I told her.

She needs
it.

As the children
circled me, my body filled with glee, a feeling that I was finally back where I
belonged.

I missed
these crazy kids.

William was the
first to reach me, closely followed by Jerome. He wrapped his arms around my
legs in a clumsy hug, almost making me lose my balance as he grinned widely up
at me.

“Celsi! You’re
here!”

Helen beamed
all over her little face. “Yay!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“And I’ve
brought a little friend for you guys,” I said, gently coaxing Faith to stand in
front of me. “Now, you guys play nicely with Faith, you hear? She’s kind of
shy.”

“Come on,
Faith; let’s go play with my Lego!” William bellowed, the sound of his voice
making Miss Campbell clap her hands over her ears.

“It’s
my
Lego too,” Jerome panted, running to the toy box.

Faith followed
William nervously. “Okay,” she said, glancing at me over her shoulder.

“Have fun,” I
smiled.

Should I be
worried that the first person to welcome Faith into the fold was William?

Giggling to
myself, I followed the kids, picking up discarded toys as I went. Ahead, I saw
Faith giggling as Jerome’s hastily built ‘Lego house’ fell to the floor. Yup,
this was going to be an interesting afternoon.

“That was so
much fun, you were right, Celsi!” Faith squealed at the end of the day as,
tired out, we walked to the elevator. I smiled down at her, loving the bright
spark in her eyes and the happiness that shined on her face. This was the
little girl I’d first met, back when Luke was tickling her mercilessly.
Luke.
My heart dropped as I realized that I hadn’t thought about him the entire
afternoon. Guilt churned my stomach but I pushed it away. I’d been so busy
making sure that the kids didn’t tear up the daycare that I didn’t have time to
think about him. Hand gripping mine with intensity, Faith pleaded, “Can I go
back tomorrow?”

I knew it
was a good idea!

“Let’s see what
your mom says first,” I said diplomatically, pressing the up button in the
deserted elevator.

“I hope she
lets me go,” Faith said wistfully. “Will said he’ll bring his train set
tomorrow!”

Once we got
upstairs, both Hope and Vanessa thanked me for taking Faith and I went home, my
good deed for the day done.

***

Home was
another story. As soon as I walked in the building, the irrational fear that Nate
was waiting in a dark corner, about to leap out and get me couldn’t be shaken.

Calm down, Celsi.

I scurried up
the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest as I looked over my shoulder every
couple of steps I took. Even knowing that Nate was locked up where he couldn’t
possibly get at me did nothing to dissuade my morbid thoughts. The memories of
the last molly-whooping I had given me were still fresh in my mind. I was
thankful that Officer Rodriguez had suggested me getting a restraining order
against Nate. At least I could sleep at night knowing that I finally had
nothing to worry about.

As I walked up
the stairs, my thoughts turned to Aunt Kelly. While she had assured me that she
was going to call Enrique, I still didn’t know if she had. Unconsciously, my
hand went up to my still bandaged cheek. If she did call him, she would have to
tell him about what I did to me. I didn’t know Enrique well enough to gauge his
reaction to that kind of news. What did one say after finding out that their
only daughter got the crap beaten out of her by her own cousin? I didn’t know
what to think of the whole situation, hadn’t given myself time to think about
it, what with the Luke drama.
Did I push Nate too far?
Was it my fault
for not knowing my place and getting out of line?

Aunt Kelly said
it wasn’t, assured me that it wasn’t my fault and that Nate had some serious
issues he needed to work through. Even though deep in my heart I knew she was
right, it didn’t stop me from thinking that I might have driven him over the
edge.

 
Do I want
her to tell Enrique what happened?

There
was
a strong possibility he might take me away from Aunt Kelly, something I didn’t
even want to consider. Aunt Kelly was the only family I had ever known. She had
been there for me through everything! I didn’t know what I would do if I was
taken to live somewhere else, even with my own father.

Negative
thoughts were whirling around my head as I let myself in the chilly apartment.
The usual bolt of fear ran through me as I paused in in the entryway, half
expecting Nate to appear in the hallway, his top lip curled into a snarl, to
ask me where the hell I’d been all day.

Not anymore,
Celsi.

Shaking myself
and my dark thoughts off, I walked into the living room, shucking my jacket as
I went. I knew Aunt Kelly was home, the light in the living room was on.

“I’m home,” I
announced, fully intending to just say hi to Aunt I before I got started on my
homework. I was the best, always keeping me up to date with my schoolwork while
Mrs. Williams emailed my homework to me.

The word ‘home’
died in my throat as my eyes fell on the man who was sitting on the couch.

It can’t
be... Enrique?

He jumped to
his feet, hazel eyes widening as he stepped closer to me, taking in my clearly
beaten face. A look of horror swept over his face. I hung my head, my eyes
suddenly brimming with tears at the look he gave me. That was the reason I
hadn’t been to school all week, for fear that my peers would look at me like
that. Only Robyn and Shazia had seen me in my bruised state and their faces had
worn looks similar to the one on Enrique’s face.

“Oh, my God, Celsi,”
he breathed, reaching down to cup my cheek in one hand. His voice strained. “He
did
this
to you?”

The floodgates opened
at the concern laced into his voice and the tears rolled down my cheeks,
splashing onto the worn linoleum floor. Quick as a flash, Enrique pulled me
into a hug, murmuring into my hair.

From the corner
of my eye, I saw Aunt Kelly wipe tears from her face, standing up. “I’m sorry,
Enrique. I should have realized-.” Her voice broke and she wrung her hands, a
distraught look on her weary face. “I should have stopped him from hurting
her.”

“It’s not your
fault, Kelly,” Enrique said adamantly, patting the back of my head soothingly.
“I just wish- I wish I could have saved you from all this pain, Celsi.”

Although my
tears stopped, I clung to Enrique as we sat down. He explained that Aunt I
called him last night and he caught the first plane he could as soon as he got
off work today. He interrogated me, asking me how often Nate had hit me. When I
told the story about Rhea, he squeezed my shoulders, muttering to himself.

Aunt Kelly
remained silent as we caught up as best we could. When we finally stopped
monopolizing the conversation, she fixed me with a direct look, her eyes sad. “Celsi,
how would you like to spend your summer with Enrique?”

Shocked, I
looked up at her, noting the tight lines around her mouth and the determined
air around her. She looked like a woman who had made up her mind. My heart
quailed.
Is she trying to get rid of me?

“What? Why?” I
spluttered, my voice not even sounding like my own.

Was Enrique
gunning for full custody of me?
Is that why he’s here?
Was this the
beginning of the end? This was my home, though! I hugged my knees, staring
blankly at Aunt Kelly, who seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with me. I
didn’t want to leave New York behind! My friends, my school, and my family-
almost everything that was near and dear to me was here! Luke was here...

Maybe he caught
an emotion playing on my face, because Enrique chuckled. “It’s not what you
think, Celsi,” he assured me. “We’re just doing it as a preemptive measure.”

“Nate gets out
in July,” Aunt Kelly told me quietly. I flinched, not wanting that to be true.
Just how angry would he be when he got out? Would he hunt me down, restraining
order be damned? I don’t want to think about it. “I don’t want you to be around
until I get things settled with him.”

Enrique nodded,
clearing his throat. “In light of all that’s happened, your aunt and I think
time away from New York would be good for you.”

“Are you trying
to get full custody?” I whispered, my throat dry.

Looking stunned
by my blunt question, Aunt Kelly shook her head immediately, as Enrique smiled
at me wistfully. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I could. But Kelly has done a
marvelous job of raising you and I feel that you’re more her child than mine.”
He patted my shoulder. “I just want to use the summer to get to know my
daughter a little better.”