The Pull of Destiny (7 page)

“She
wants nothing to do with you, so leave her alone,” Shazia said, pursing up her
pretty lips.

I
sighed. “Look, I know I screwed up bad yesterday, okay? I just want a chance to
apologize to her, that’s all. Then our paths never have to cross again,” I
explained.

Robyn
melted first.

“She’s
in the-,” she started, running a hand through her hair. Shazia gave her a
warning look and I focused my attentions on her. She was a very hard nut to
crack.

“You
expect me to tell you where she is after you called her a slut?” Shazia asked
me incredulously.

“That’s
why I want to say sorry to her. I feel really bad about it,” I said, my voice
sounding as contrite as I felt.

“You
should feel bad,” Shazia said then closed her mouth like a trap.

I
waited, my eyes flicking from Robyn to Shazia, in anticipation that one of them
would say something.

None
of them did.

Finally,
I cleared my throat. “So- can you tell me where she is?” I asked nervously.

Shazia
crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at me from under her brows. “She’s
in the music studio,” she said grudgingly.

“Yeah,
she goes there whenever she’s upset,” Robyn piped up, making me feel guiltier.

I
stood, ready to find Celsi and make peace with her. Or try, at any rate.
“Thanks, you two,” I said, grinning at them as I backed away from the table.

Shazia
pointed her fork threateningly at me. “Insult her again and you’ll have me to
deal with. Okay?”

Oh,
that wouldn’t be good.

Wondering
what the hell Celsi could be doing in the music studio and wondering why I
hadn’t bothered looking there before, I walked down the hallway, holding fake
conversations with her in my head. I hoped it would go well. I mean, I had
searched my room for hours till I found her lucky pencil in a pair of jeans at
the bottom of my laundry hamper. It was in my pocket now. If that didn’t show
her that I meant what I said, I didn’t know what would. I reached the music
studio and started peeking in each cubicle, looking for Celsi. In one, a couple
was making out. In another, an earnest kid was playing a violin very
scratchily. And finally, in the last one-

Piano
music? Celsi played the piano?

I
poked my head around the door, not wanting to disturb her as she sat hunched
over the keys, her face etched in concentration. She played beautifully. I
wasn’t much of a piano and classic music lover, but even I knew that she had
talent.

I
waited till she was finished playing before I spoke, soundlessly stepping into
the room till I was standing right behind her. She didn’t even notice me; she
was so intent on her music. Her eyes were closed and she had a serene smile on
her face. Music as therapy? Maybe I should get into that. At least I wouldn’t
have to deal with my real therapist anymore.

“Wow.
That was amazing. You’re really good,” I said honestly when she finished
playing and opened her eyes.

Her
reaction-not expected.

With
a shriek, she jerked so violently that she toppled off the piano chair, landing
on the floor on her back. Her scared eyes met mine and she froze.

“Will
you stop creeping up behind me?!” she yelled.

CHAPTER 4

if at first you
don’t succeed...

Celsi’s
Point of View

Shazia
was wildly incensed as I told her and Robyn about what went down in the Astor
penthouse yesterday while we walked to our first class of the morning.

“Ahmed
is such an ass!” she spat, her nostrils flared in anger as she clenched her
fists. I raised my eyebrows in amazement and exchanged a look with Robyn.
Shazia never swore. She said things like ‘oh, fudgesickles’, or ‘doggone it’.
And if she was really pissed off, ‘Great Googly Moogly’ was a favorite of hers.
Unanimously appointed peacemaker in our little clique, Shazia
never
had
anything mean or nasty to say about anyone. Just seeing her this mad scared me.

I
would hate to be Ahmed tonight.

I
shrugged, sighing inwardly as I struggled not to go over the penthouse scene
again.
Stop obsessing, Celsi.
I had thought about it way too much during
the night. It was time to let it go.

 Except
that Shazia wasn’t about to let anything go.

“And
he said you were my pity friend?” she screeched. Several people in the hall
looked over at us in surprise, their astonishment growing as they saw it was
Shazia
making the ruckus. Usually it was Robyn who was the loud mouth, alternately
chattering about her dates, a new dress she bought, or crying over some moron
who had dumped her and how much she ‘lurved him.’

Robyn
patted Shazia soothingly on the shoulder. “Easy there, tiger,” she said
brightly. “Calm down and breathe.” She looked over at me and shrugged
nonchalantly. “Relaxation tips from my yoga master.”

She
needed a refund from her yoga master. Relaxed and Robyn weren’t frequently used
in the same sentence.

“Everyone’s
entitled to their point of view,” I started, trying to act indifferent, like
what Ahmed, Wendy and Luke had said to me didn’t hurt.

Trying
to act like I hadn’t cried myself to sleep, wondering if it was true that
people were only friendly to me because they felt sorry for me. But after
seeing Shazia’s reaction, I knew I didn’t have to worry about that. She had my
back. Robyn did too, but she just wanted this conversation over so that she
could talk about her date with Todd.

“Well,
their point of view is wrong,” Shazia fumed, turning on me. Small red spots of
anger appeared on her cheeks as she grasped my shoulders, shaking me so hard my
teeth rattled. “You are NOT our friend because we feel sorry for you, okay? We
are friends because we love each other; we have tons in common-.”

“And
we could care less if you’re rich or poor,” Robyn cut in, fumbling around in
her Coach bag for a lipstick. She looked up at us, pursing her lips as she
applied it. “Those guys are just rich snobs. I can’t believe they would insult
you like that when you were doing Luke a favor.”

“He
was kinda nice before they showed up, actually. He talked to me and stuff, even
after I hit him in the face...”

My
voice trailed off and I cringed as I remembered that
and
falling on top
of him. Maybe I had deserved to be attacked for that.

Robyn
giggled. “I still can’t believe you did that! Doesn’t he know that the quickest
way to a hospital is by standing behind you and saying something?”

“It
doesn’t give him the right to call you a slut,” Shazia said, narrowing her eyes
as she tossed her dark hair over her shoulder. “And Ahmed has some nerve, even
saying stuff like that about you. Did he forget about how you helped him with
his Social’s project?”

Apparently.

I
had been a huge help to Ahmed, if I do say so myself. His project was on urban
housing and he begged me to take him around my neighborhood. Being a nice
person (yeah right. The main reason I did it is because he’s hot and he was
actually being nice to me) I gave him the grand tour. And my reward was being
called a slut.

Nice,
Ahmed.

“Next
time, let Luke get his own damn homework. What a jerk! What gives him the right
to act like that? You’re a much better person than they will ever be.”

Impulsively,
I hugged Shazia, her hair tickling my nose as gratitude coursed through my
body. Those words may have hurt, but Shazia’s indignation on my behalf was
enough to make me feel good about myself.

“You
know what? You guys are the best friends anyone could ever want,” I said
happily, linking arms with them both.

“And
don’t you forget it,” Robyn said absently, checking her reflection in her HTC.
Some
people use phones to make calls, Robyn uses hers to check herself out.

I
laughed for the first time that day, feeling a great weight roll off my
shoulders.
Nothing to worry about here
. My friends liked me just the way
I was. My fears had definitely been unfounded. “Well, it’s definitely taught me
a lesson,” I admitted. I poked Robyn in the ribs and she squealed.

“What?”

“You
don’t get something for nothing. I should have told him to pay me for bringing
him his homework,” I joked. Robyn nodded wisely, and then grinned, a wicked
gleam in her eyes.

“I
tried to tell you! At least you pawned him when you threw his homework in his
face. That’s my Celsi!” She nudged me, giggling.

I
smiled, even though I felt kinda bad about that. Not about throwing the file in
Luke’s face, which had felt good. But it was obvious that poor Mr. Smith was
the one who had cleaned up, since I couldn’t see Luke picking up after himself.
And I liked Mr. Smith, so I
didn’t
feel comfortable about that at all.

“If
Luke tries apologizing to you, don’t accept,” Shazia said out of the blue. We
reached our first class of the day and stood outside the door, waiting for the
teacher.

I
gave her a quizzical look, smoothing my ponytail. “Any reason why? And what
makes you think he’ll apologize?”

“Oh,
he’ll apologize. One time, he hit this girl in the face with a football.
Brought flowers to her in class,” Robyn said. She wrinkled her nose in thought.
“He can actually be a nice guy-only he’s a jerk.” She shrugged. “I don’t know,
guys are
sooo
complex.”

I
bit my lip.
Flowers in class?
I had never gotten flowers before, not
even on Valentine’s Day! And from Luke Astor too, so they would be even more
special-
no Celsi, you’re supposed to be mad at him!

Shazia
twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “I know that
Ahmed
won’t
apologize, because he’s a jerk and he probably thought that he was just
‘stating facts’ and it was nothing personal.”

I
nodded.
Makes sense
. I had once seen Ahmed lay out a guy he’d seen
‘chatting up’ Shazia in their building. Turns out the guy had just been asking
her where the elevators were. When he heard that, Ahmed had shrugged, said “My
mistake,” and started asking the guy what he thought of the Knicks that season.

“And
Wendy won’t apologize, coz- she’s a bitch,” Robyn said, just loudly enough so
that a couple who stood in front of us turned to look at her. I cringed, half
hiding myself behind Shazia.
Embarrassing.

“Exactly.
But Luke probably will, if he felt bad enough that he followed you out after
saying all those things-,” Shazia continued. I blew out a breath as I
remembered the remorseful look in his eyes. Had he really wanted to apologize
or were Shazia and I reading too much into this? “So, if he apologizes for the
first time, play hard to get.”

“But-,”
I started. Guys like Luke usually didn’t apologize! But Shazia looked sure of
herself and even Robyn was nodding in agreement. I decided to trust their
judgment.
What do I have to lose? Nothing.
“Okay,” I conceded as the
bell rang and our teacher ushered us into class.

***

Lunch
rolled around and after meeting with Robyn and Shazia by our lockers as usual,
I made my way to the music department, my hands itching in anticipation of a
full hour of piano playing. School was basically the only place I could play.
We didn’t have enough money to afford one at home, especially now, with the
rent for the apartment going up.
Ah well.
As long as I had a chance to
play, even for a little while, I was happy.

 I
peeked into each cubicle, hoping for an empty one. Sara and John were in the
first one, making out, as usual. That couple (if you could call them a couple)
made me so sad. Sara played the trumpet in the school band and was a
self-proclaimed band nerd. John was on the varsity Lacrosse team, your typical
popular jock. They met every day in the music department because John didn’t
want his friends to know that he was dating a ‘geek’. It was so pathetic that
the thought of what his peers thought about him would reduce them to meeting in
secret like that, but I wasn’t in any position to pass judgment. I had stayed
up all night wondering what people thought of me.

In
another cubicle was Terry Hart, a freshman. He played violin, and he played it
very badly. I smiled and waved at him as I quickly passed the door, willing
myself not to give in to temptation and just clap my hands over my ears to blot
out the noise he was making.

Luckily,
the last cubicle was empty. Thanking my lucky stars, I rushed in, sat down and
started living. My fingers flew over the keys, seeking out the correct notes
without even referring to a book. I was so engrossed in playing that nothing
else registered until-