The Publicist Book One and Two (43 page)

Chapter Fifty-Six

Lulu was at her desk when she arrived. “Morning, Lu!” Kate said cheerfully.

Lu cut right to the point. “How are you?” It was a reasonable question. After Mac had left, Kate had remained in her office, door closed, for the better part of the day. When she finally emerged, Lulu could tell how shell-shocked she was. She’d never been certain that Mac and Kate had been an “item,” but like everyone else, she heard of Mac’s reputation. Despite Lulu’s opinion about men who cheat, she never held it against Mac. She liked him and she liked the two of them together. Nick was great and sweet and handsome, but there was an unmistakable chemistry when Kate and Mac were in a room together.

Kate hung up her jacket. “Any calls for me this morning?”

“Yes, I emailed you the notes. Allan’s book is going to blow through its third print run.”

Kate smiled; it was exactly what she needed to hear. “Let’s order more, another thirty thousand. No, scratch that. We’re going into the holiday season. Let’s get fifty.”

Lulu nodded. “Okay, I’ll handle it.”

“Oh, and Lu, I have some great news. Nick and I are getting married!” Kate threw her a smile and headed back to her office.

It took Lulu a while to recover from her shock.

Kate picked up her phone and dialed Andrew.

“Hello, Love. So, did you get some answers?”

“I’m getting married.”

She heard Andrew nearly choke on whatever he was drinking. “Well, that’s one solution. May I ask, to whom are we getting married?”

“Well, of course to Nick.”

“Katharine, what have you done?”

“Nothing. I saw Mac just like you said, only he came here looking for a job.”

Andrew laughed, “He did what?”

Kate sighed. “He came here looking for a job and told me I had until yesterday morning to decide if I wanted to be with him.”

“Eh, so instead you went home and decided to get married to Nick. Who asked whom?”

“He asked me. Look, I had no idea, and granted, the timing isn’t the best, but I love Nick and I want to marry him.”

“Well, that was one way to go about it.”

“Andrew, I need you to be happy for me.”

“Darling, I learned something a long time ago. If you are solid in your convictions, you don’t need anyone to validate them. Whether I’m happy for you or not should be inconsequential to your decision.”

Kate was silent for a moment. “I need you to be happy for me, Andy.”

“Kate, are you sure this is what you want? I mean, doesn’t Nick deserve someone who truly loves him?”

“I do love him.”

“In that heart-stopping way that you love Mac?”

“Loved.” Kate was starting to get annoyed.

“Kate, listen. I love that we’re friends, and I love you as a person and as a woman. But I think you should give this more time. Sounds a bit knee-jerk to me.”

Kate drummed her fingers on her desk; she needed to end this call. This wasn’t helping. She’d said yes, and that was that. Nick had asked, and after a slight hesitation, she’d nodded and cried. Nick was an amazing man. He was solid and more importantly, he would never break her heart.

Andrew continued, “I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t tell you that. I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you wanted to hear. But if you really love this bloke, then James and I will dance at your wedding, and I will expect you to name a child after me—even if it’s a girl.”

Kate smiled. “Thanks, Andy. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

Kate ended the call and decided to call Grace; she knew she’d be ecstatic for her. “Gracie!” Kate exuded as soon as her friend picked up the phone, “Guess what?”

“Hey, Kate. I don’t know, but you know I hate guessing, so just tell me.”

“Nick and I are getting married.”

Silence.

“Gracie, did you hear me?”

“Kate, are you sure?”

What the hell was with everyone today?
“Of course I’m sure. Why would you even ask that?”

“Because I know Mac was in town to see you.”

How the hell did she find out?

“Lulu told me,” she added quickly, “I called your cell and left at least a dozen messages, sent texts, nothing. And you know how I hate texting. Anyway, I got worried and called the office. Lu told me Mac was in town and that he’s divorced.”

“That has nothing to do with this, Gracie. Really, I love Nick.”

“Kate, you know I’ve been pretty hard on you, and for that I’m sorry. I was so worried that you’d end up waiting your entire life for this man to come around, and it was my baggage, not yours.”

“You were right, Gracie. Seriously, I’m glad you pushed me.”

“But maybe I pushed you in the wrong direction. I mean, if you really love Mac.”

“Loved,” she said, getting more irritated by the minute. Loved. Past tense, why could no one grasp that?

“Kate, all I’m saying is that it’s not my life, it’s yours, and I want you to be happy. Marriage is a big step, and it’s an even bigger step if you aren’t truly in love with the person.”

“Grace, I need to go. I can’t do this right now.”

“Kate,” her friend began gently, “Nick is a great guy. You two could be really happy, but if Mac’s in your heart, then you can’t marry Nick. He doesn’t deserve to live in the shadow of anyone.”

“Grace, look, I’m getting another call. I’ll call you later.” She hung up without saying goodbye.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Kate was already at her office the next morning when Lulu arrived. “Lu, I think we should consider getting New York office space, too,” she said. “I know you’re not going to be able to stay here forever, so we’ll need someone to manage this office and I’d like for you to go back to New York and find us some modest space there.”

A broad smile filled Lulu’s face. “I was headed home next week for Thanksgiving anyway.”

“I know, and I appreciate all the time you’ve given me here away from your family. I couldn’t have launched Allan’s book without your help.”

“Thank you, Kate. So, you’ll be coming back and forth?” Lulu’s voice was hesitant. Kate back in New York was a big deal. She knew it must be hard for Kate to return.

“Yes, but I need to find an editor first and it’s too difficult to find someone here, so I’m going to have you set up some interviews in New York after the first of the year.”

Lulu almost asked if she was going to hire Mac, but figured that would be a bad idea.

Kate’s phone buzzed, a text from Grace.
I love you. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, and if you make me your maid of honor, I’ll throw you the best bachelorette party ever. And, since you’re mingling with celebs, do you think we can get Bradley Cooper to strip for us?

Kate smiled and turned her attention back to Lulu. “So, I want you to run an ad in
Publishers Lunch
and see what we can find.”

“Got it, will do. Kate, I’m going to miss working with you here.”

Kate smiled. She was really going to miss Lulu. “I will, too Lu. But we’ll still be working together, just in a different way.”

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Lavigne House was busier than ever. Allan’s book had exceeded her print run again and she’d gone back to press once more for the new year. She planned to release the paperback just before their wedding and a special edition of the book in time for the movie, which was still on track for fall of 2014. There were a million things going on at once, but Kate loved it all. Being a publisher, being a publicist, being in charge. She read an update in
Publishers Lunch
that the Shenkman twins book never actually made it to press. “Mysterious circumstances,” they had cited. Mysterious. Kate had snorted reading the piece. She was glad to no longer be a part of that. Despite the increased demands on her professionally, she would still rather be on this side than back at MD babysitting these out-of-control girls.

Book submissions were pouring into Lavigne House, and it was no longer a matter of whether she would publish again but what books to pick. The Madeline Masters title was scheduled for fall of 2014. Madeline was currently working with a ghostwriter, and Kate hoped to see the first draft of the book by January. Lulu had done a good job of putting the word out looking for an office manager for their San Marino office, and she had secured a lease for an office on University Place in the Village. Kate planned to fly back there to set up the office and do some interviewing right after the holidays.

Nick had been urging Kate to pick a date for their wedding, but Kate had resisted. “So much going on,” she’d said. “So much to think about.”

She told him she needed to get through the end of the year before she could think about the wedding. The response seemed reasonable, although part of her knew it wasn’t. Picking a date wasn’t hard. But it was to her. She pushed the doubts from her mind. Nick was perfect, end of story.

It was a week before Christmas. Nick’s home, their home, was decorated with a beautiful 9-foot tree adorning the living room. Kate was putting the finishing touches on the decorations to get ready for Andrew and James’s visit the day after tomorrow. The kitchen door clicked open and she knew Nick was home. In time to get dressed for a dinner with one of his store managers, Melissa, and her fiancé. They got engaged only a few weeks before she and Nick did, and Nick was eager to have them meet Kate. Melissa had been with Nick for years. She was sort of his right hand and Nick trusted her without question.

“Hey, Babe!” Nick called out from the kitchen.

“In here!” Kate responded, as she tucked a few more white twinkle lights into the evergreen garland that draped across the mantel. It was a thick rope of greens with pinecones and berries. Kate had brought it home from the local farmer’s market.

Nick walked in and smiled as he watched her. “I can’t believe what you’ve done with the house, Kate. It’s amazing.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, tucking in the last string of lights she walked over and kissed him. “I’m looking forward to meeting Melissa tonight.”

Nick put an arm around her and then another, tucking her inside his embrace. “I am, too. It’ll be good to see her fiancé Stan again. It’s been a while.”

Kate kissed him again. “Well, good. I’m going to take a shower and get ready.”

He dropped his arms and smiled. “Need any help?”

…

Nick and Kate arrived at The Penthouse in Santa Monica just as Melissa and her fiancé were handing their keys to the valet.

Nick hopped out of his Jeep, handed his keys to the valet, and grabbed Kate’s hand.

“Melissa, good to see you.” He gave her a friendly peck on the cheek and held out a hand to Stan. “It’s been a while. You should come by the store more often.” Both men shook and smiled.

“I’d love to,” Stan said and wrapped an arm around Melissa, “but she says I distract her from her work.” Melissa gave him a playful kiss.

“This is Kate. Kate, meet Melissa, the best manager I’ve ever had and Stan, her soon-to-be husband.”

Kate threw them both a smile and held her hand to Melissa, who immediately hugged her. “I feel like I know you, Kate,” she said. “Nick talks about you all the time.”

“Kate,” Stan said, shaking her hand, “it’s good to meet you and glad you’re here. If those two decide to talk shop, we can lob some interference into the conversation.”

Nick laughed. “No shop talk tonight, I promise.” He held up his hand and turned to the valet to get his ticket. “We’re ready. Let’s go inside.”

The Penthouse had been rated one of Santa Monica’s top restaurants both for the food and the view. Located above the exclusive Huntley Hotel, the restaurant offered sweeping views of the California coastline. At night, it was almost enchanting. Kate remembered it well as Nick had taken her to dinner there while she was in Los Angeles for the writer’s conference. That seemed almost a lifetime ago.

They were seated at a table beside the window with a stunning night view of the water. Boats off in a distance were like fireflies on the water, their tiny lights flickering as they bobbed on the water.

Melissa smiled at Kate; there was a glint of interest in her eye. “So, Kate, all Nick talks about is his uncle’s book and the fact that you’ve made it a bestseller. What’s that like? I mean, he says it’s going to be a movie. That’s fantastic!”

Kate smiled and looked over at Nick, who winked at her. “Yes, it’s exciting, but I had nothing to do with the book’s success. Books either do well or they don’t. In the end, it’s up to the readers to make them successful. But, yes, it’s an amazing process.”

“So, will you get to go to the movie premier?”

Stan nudged his fiancé.

“What?” She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. “Stan is worried about my obsession with celebrities and that one day I may leave him for Bradley Cooper.”

Melissa winked at Kate and leaned into Stan. It was clear how much she loved him. “I can promise you, Stanley, I will never, ever leave you for Bradley Cooper or anyone else.” Kate could see a slight warmth creep into Stan’s cheeks and he pulled Melissa closer.

They obviously adored each other. Nick put a hand on Kate’s thigh; it startled her a bit. She looked over at Nick and smiled. They’d never been that lovey-dovey, but Kate hadn’t really given it much thought. Until now. Something began to form in her mind, perhaps a memory? Kate pushed it aside.

As they ate, the conversation flowed easily. Melissa had a million questions about the movie and whether Kate was going to be at any of the filming. “I’m going to try to be there for some of it. But, candidly, I don’t think they’d really want me on set. Usually they invite the author, but in this case…” Her voice trailed off and Melissa’s eyes softened.

“Nick really loved Allan. I’m sorry again for your loss.”

Suddenly Kate realized, “It’s been almost a year.” She realized she said her thought aloud. Nick nodded.

“A year. So much has happened.”

Yes
, Kate thought,
so much.

“So, Kate,” Melissa began, changing the subject, “how did Nick propose? He’s so private about that stuff.” Kate could feel Melissa nudge Nick with her shoe under the table. Kate smiled at her. “Well,” she said, “I came home and he was waiting in the living room, rose petals everywhere. It was so romantic.”

“Hey, man, don’t make me look bad.” Stan smiled and Nick chuckled.

“Oh, Honey,” Melissa leaned into him again, “everything you do is romantic, and when you know, you know. I knew I wanted to marry you before you even asked me.” She kissed Stan lightly on the cheek and then turned to Kate. “I mean, that’s how it is. Right, Kate? Now, tell me about the wedding. Have you set a date?”

“I–” Kate started, but Nick interrupted her.

“Kate’s been really busy; we’re planning on picking a date after the first of the year. Right, Honey?”

Kate nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course we are.” Her stomach lurched. “Will you excuse me?” Sliding her chair back, Kate raced to the ladies room. By the time she got there, she could feel her heart racing and Melissa’s words echoing in her head. “You just know, without hesitation…”

You just know.

Kate leaned over the sink. Someone walked into the restroom. She hardly noticed.

Breathe, damn it!
she thought.
Breathe!

What the hell was happening to her?

…

“Kate, you’ve been really quiet tonight.” Nick pulled his Jeep into the driveway and put it in Park. He turned in his seat and looked over at her.

She smiled. “I’m fine, really. I was just thinking about Allan.”

Nick stroked her cheek. “I know, Baby. I’m sorry. This has to be a rough time for you right now.”

Kate looked down at her hands. “It’s funny, I hadn’t actually thought about it being a year until tonight. I-I can’t believe it’s been that long.”

Nick’s hand threaded through her hair. “He would be so proud of you, Katie. You do realize that, right?”

“I know, but I wish he could see this success.”

“I know.” Nick pulled her closer but Kate resisted. She surprised herself when she did. Suddenly, she needed space.

“Come on. Let’s go inside, Kate,” Nick said. His voice was light, but the concern was evident. Kate had never pulled away from him before.

Kate felt her heart race. She was panicking and didn’t know why. “Nick,” she said, her voice unsteady, “I think I need to walk. I just need to think.”

“Kate, are you sure you’re okay?” Nick pulled his hand away; there was definitely something wrong.

She smiled. “I’m fine, really. I’m okay. I’m sorry. I just need some air.”

Nick nodded. Something twisted in his stomach. Something wasn’t right. Kate got out of the Jeep. “I’ll be in shortly,” she said.

Kate walked down the driveway, her jacket tucked in tightly around her. It wasn’t cold by New York standards, but there was a chill in the air. The night was clear and the street was quiet. Suddenly, Kate missed the hum of the traffic and the buzz of people around her. No matter what time you happened out into the city in New York, there were always people. Some coming, some going, some just walking.

Kate thought about her life there and then thought of Nick and her new life in California. Something had unsettled her tonight. The click-click of her footsteps echoed on the quiet street. Thoughts skipped through her mind in a riot of confusion. She thought back to New York, the last few days she was there, and how much she longed to be away. Now she felt like the child who had run away from home, thinking life would be better and distance would dissolve the problems. But they didn’t. She’d left in a flurry, without facing the things she needed to deal with. She’d been victorious, but only because Mac had helped her.

Mac. She pictured him for a moment as she saw him for the first time: Tall, handsome, a broad hand pushing through his dark hair, his light blues eyes fixated on hers. Even the image left her breathless. Kate stopped walking for a moment and settled on a wooden bench nestled in a patch of grass by the sidewalk. Mac left her breathless. Even now, even with another man’s ring on her hand.

What had she done?

You just know…
Melissa’s inconvenient truth pounded through her head.

She’d never known, not really. Even when Nick had asked her, she’d felt the hesitation inside her even while she was saying yes.

He was perfect. There was no arguing that. He came with no baggage, a wonderful life, and he loved her more than perhaps anyone ever had. Yes, he was perfect, but at once Kate realized he wasn’t perfect for her. Or perhaps it was the other way around. Yes, she loved Nick, but not enough.

Not the way you loved Mac.
She pushed that thought away—no time for that now. She needed to think of Nick and what was best for him. She knew in an instant, though she was certain he would adamantly disagree, that it wasn’t her.

She loved him enough to let him go.

Tears filled her eyes as the truth settled on her, the tide of it washing over her. Leaving a salty, sticky residue in its wake. The truth.

Kate cried, perhaps for the first time since that night in New York when Mac had come to her and she’d hoped to fix
The Continued Promise
. Kate drew her knees up under her chin and hugged them tightly, the emotion of it overtaking her.

What had she done? How had it all suddenly gotten this far? She’d flown into Nick’s arms as though he were a life preserver, just like Grace said, keeping her from drowning in her own reality. She’d accepted this new life as her own, immersing herself in it and using it as a barrier to keep her from facing what she hadn’t dealt with before she left New York. As much as she’d hated her job at MD at times, she also loved it. She loved every crazy minute of it. Losing that job, or rather walking away from it, had been a loss she had not faced—at least not fully. Though things were different now, and perhaps better, the past was a funny thing. You can run from it as long as you want, but eventually it will come back to be reckoned with.

The past was here now as it had been all along, waiting patiently until she could face it.

…

Something startled Nick awake and he reached over to Kate’s side of the bed. It was empty. He looked at the clock. Three a.m. Where was she? He swung his legs out of bed and walked out of their room onto the landing. He could see a light downstairs and assumed Kate was there. Nick walked down the stairs and saw her sitting on the couch in the living room staring at the darkened Christmas tree. A small lamp on the end table provided the only light.