The Promise of Provence (Love in Provence Book 1) (5 page)

“Molly, thanks for today,” said Katherine. “It was good to have you here, and don’t feel you have to go.”

“No problemo!” Molly replied in her raspy voice, hoping to sound upbeat and encouraging. Then her face softened and her voice dropped several notches as she looked intently at Katherine. “I’m so, so, so sorry this has happened. I would stay, but we’ve got a special choir practice at church this evening.” Then she crossed her eyes and crossed herself.

The others had to laugh.

“Don’t forget,” she continued, hugging Katherine one last time, “call me anytime. Whenever, for whatever. We will get through this.”

Andrea walked Molly to the door and stepped onto the porch with her, hoping to get out of earshot of Katherine. “Molly, keep checking on Kat, please. I’m concerned about how she is taking this. She really doesn’t have anyone, apart from her mother, to talk to except you and me.”

Molly nodded and whispered back, “I will, for sure. I can pop by any day on my way home from school. It’s right on the subway line. I always suspected she didn’t have any close girlfriends. James kept pretty tight control of their lives. Kinda weird, now that I think about it.”

“You know, we never really talked about it. It just was the way it was,” Andrea said. “Funny how we simply accept some things and then in retrospect wonder why.”

“Don’t worry,” Molly assured her. “I’ll keep in close touch and let you know if I have any worries.”

They hugged good-bye and Andrea returned to the kitchen.

Once Molly was gone, Andrea and Katherine spent some time talking about their concerns about Elisabeth’s health. It was a feeble attempt at diversion, and it didn’t work for long.

Finally Katherine said, “Andrea, it’s time for you to go. I’m so glad you came to stay with me. I needed you! And Molly too. Honestly, you were both so helpful. Now I need to be alone and you need to get back to your family.”

Andrea put her arms tightly around her cousin one more time and then began to collect her things to leave.

Katherine admitted she was still having trouble not blaming herself for the whole mess. “It’s going to take me a while to work through that, you know,” she confessed.

“I understand, Kat, I truly do. I don’t know what more I can say about it except that it’s not your fault and you have to come to terms with that.”

“Oh, I know that, intellectually. But emotionally it’s another story. I feel destroyed.”

“I can stay tonight, Kat,” Andrea offered without hesitation.

“No, really, I’ll be okay. I just needed to say that to you. It helps to say it out loud.”

“Call me. Any time. You know that.”

“Of course I do, and I will. I have no doubt about that. You’ve been a rock, as always.”

They both teared up slightly and then gave each other a shake.

“Enough already,” said Katherine. “I’m done for now.”

They had decided Katherine and her mother would go up to St. Jacobs the following weekend, and Kat would focus on that. It would be Canadian Thanksgiving, her family’s favorite celebration. James had even enjoyed it. That was going to be a tough one.

In the bedroom, she stripped the sheets from the bed, gathered all the towels from the bathroom, and stuffed everything in the washing machine. His scent was everywhere, despite her efforts to ignore it. The freshly showered and shaved smell she knew so well. His allergies kept any fragrances out of the house.

She had loved how he smelled. Now she wanted to be rid of it.

Immersing herself to her neck in a steaming bubble bath, she distracted herself by staring at the map of the Riviera at the foot of the tub. She thought about some of the French perfumes she had enjoyed wearing before she met James and his allergies. Maybe it was time to enjoy them again.

Sipping a mug of warm milk in bed afterward, she found the sleep she had been seeking.

Shortly after noon on Monday, Katherine walked into the office and broke the news, apologizing for not being honest when she called in sick.

Sitting on the edge of her desk, she could easily connect with everyone in the small open space
. “I have something to tell you and don’t want to have to say it individually, so please bear with me. James and I are divorcing, and that’s why I was away.”

Sympathetic responses and shocked expressions were the collective reactions.

“Let us know if there is anything any of us can do,” Dr. Henderson said as he went over and put his arm around her shoulder.

Katherine clutched tissues and swallowed hard, nodding silently for a few seconds. “Right now the best thing for me to do is to get back to work and think about something other than myself. I really appreciate your support.”

Laura put on the kettle and suggested a cup of tea, which Katherine gratefully accepted.

Later, Lucy came over to hug her and deliver a note that included some Chinese characters intended to be empowering and energizing. She offered to help in any way she could.
Typical Lucy
, Katherine thought appreciatively.

She was glad everything else in her life was under control.

At least I have plenty of work to keep me busy.

Looking back on it a month later, Katherine was astounded at how quickly everything about the separation and divorce proceedings was organized. With no children involved and all financial and property holdings in both their names, it was a straightforward arrangement: cut it all right down the middle.

There had been one brief, awkward telephone conversation that had ended with Kat hanging up in tears. Then there was the voicemail tirade he left upon discovering the remains of his bicycle. In fact, she had not even needed to see James in person. The thought of it made her feel ill, so the few issues they needed to discuss were handled by e-mail. It was all kind of surreal, but it worked.

Katherine and her mother had spent Thanksgiving weekend at
Andrea’s farm. It had poured rain most of the time and they passed
the
time reading, cooking, and playing board games. It had certainly not
been the usual happy time, but they had made the best of it. Andrea’s three kids were around and helped to keep the energy levels from flagging.

The wheels had been quickly set in motion by Kat during the week before they went out to St. Jacobs.

The townhouse was up for sale.

Katherine had no desire to stay on and be surrounded by memories that now felt tainted and false.

They had agreed on the division of furniture, and James had gone over with movers to remove what was his. There had been no disputes. Katherine discovered she was able to step back and not feel emotional about any material things.

“Really,” she said to Molly over a mocha at Starbucks, “in the grand scheme of things, what does any of that stuff mean now?”

“Well,
I
would take the bastard for everything I could,” Molly answered, “especially if I knew there were things he might really want. Then I would give it all to Goodwill!”

Kat choked on her last gulp of coffee, laughing at the same time.

“Seriously,” Molly continued, “you’ve been way kinder about this split than I ever would have been! I know I would have been mean. I think there’s something very satisfying about looking into the eyes of someone who has inflicted pain on me and saying ‘gotcha!
’
”

“I hear you. I think I accomplished that when I demolished his beloved bike.”

“Oh yeah, that was a good one. But I would definitely want a face-to-face confrontation. At least, that’s what I needed with every one of my breakups,” Molly said.

“Nope, not for me. I just want it over. I think James is hurt that I don’t want to see him, and that’s given me some satisfaction.”

Molly nodded slowly, considering Kat’s point.

“Dealing with my damaged ego and broken heart is another matter. Honestly, I feel like I would just like to punch the living daylights out of James if I had the chance.”

“Kick him squarely in the balls,” Molly offered.

“That too.”

As expected, the townhouse sold quickly. The closing was fast, but Katherine had no problem dealing with that, as she was sending everything of hers to storage.

There had been one more unpleasant surprise. Unbeknownst to her, James had made some high-risk investments on a margin account, using the house as collateral. She had signed the papers at the time, but he had always assured her the investment was doing well, and she had no reason to doubt him.

When the house was sold, Katherine shook her head as she picked up her check from the lawyer’s office. “I guess I have no recourse here, right?” she asked, and her lawyer confirmed that.

The final nail in the coffin
, Katherine thought.
I really have no respect or feelings for the man now in any way. It’s as if he is a completely different person to the one I thought I knew.

“Asshole!” Molly spat out when Katherine told her.

“Well said,” Kat agreed.

“
Anyu,
I know what you’re going to say before I even ask this question, but I want you to at least think about it,” Katherine had instructed her mother over dinner the night the house went on the market.

“So you know I’m going to say yes, no matter what it is. Why should I think about it?” Elisabeth replied, her eyes crinkling with laughter.

Shaking her head, Kat smiled lovingly. “You are the best.” Within days
she had moved into her old room and set up an office in the spare room.

Her quick retreat from the townhouse had helped put some things in perspective. Change was here, and this she was learning to accept. Her feelings of guilt, remorse, anger, and confusion were another story. The future looked blank. It wasn’t as if she and James had talked a lot of about retirement and what came after. In fact, they actually hadn’t, as they were both so focused on their careers. But certainly she had never considered life without him.

The thought of being a single woman at fifty-five was dragging her down. The sadness and emptiness were unrelenting, and she wondered if depression might be setting in. This frightened her for a lot of reasons she couldn’t quite articulate. Andrea and Molly, as well as her mom, had suggested the possibility of some counseling, and she promised to look into it.