The Promise of Forgiveness (5 page)

She wanted to assure him that he'd done nothing wrong, but she'd yet to win any mother-of-the-year awards. Ruby had thought she'd done all the right things with Mia. She'd been open with her daughter about sex and willing to answer questions. Then she'd discovered Mia in the act and had felt like the biggest failure ever. After she'd chased Kevin's buck-naked ass out of the trailer and Mia had locked herself in the bedroom, Ruby had cursed God, her dead parents, Mia's father, Sean, and lastly, herself.

Once she'd spread the blame around, she'd accepted that maybe she hadn't been a good role model for her daughter. That maybe her tendency to swap out boyfriends as often as she changed underwear had given Mia the impression that relationships were all about sex. But how could Ruby explain what a meaningful, lasting relationship was when she'd never experienced one?

So Ruby had done the only thing she was certain would prevent Kevin Walters from getting Mia pregnant—she'd moved them out of town.

“Melanie and I grew apart after Aaron died.” Joe's voice startled Ruby out of her reverie. “I quit my job and hit the road, looking for work where I could find it.”

“And you ended up in Unforgiven.” A town with no children, women, or families. No reminders of what he'd lost.

Joe crossed his arms, his fingers pressing into his biceps. The raw emotion in his eyes tapped into Ruby's own uncertainty and fear about her relationship with Mia.

She tossed a ten-dollar bill on the table and stood. “I'll drive you back to the ranch. You can get your truck in the morning.” She left the bar first, stopping on the sidewalk to draw in a lungful of humid air, then jumped inside her skin when a voice floated through the darkness.

“Nice evening for a stroll.” Big Dan emerged from the shadows. The man had a nasty habit of popping up unexpectedly. “The threatening weather earlier today took a detour. It'll be back tomorrow.” He tottered off into the darkness.

Joe came out of the bar and they crossed the street to Hank's pickup. Neither one of them was in the mood for more conversation. Not until Ruby pulled up to the house thirty minutes later did Joe speak.

“Deputy Randall plans to pay Hank a visit tomorrow.”

“What does he want?”

“A month ago Hank reported some missing cattle.”

“Were his cows ever located?”

“No.”

“Then why's the deputy coming out?”

“He's looking for an excuse to talk to you.”

The officer might have been pleasant to Ruby in town, but she doubted he was Unforgiven's Welcome Wagon.

Eyes stinging, Ruby watched Joe disappear into the barn. Although their chat tonight hadn't been uplifting, she was grateful he hadn't excluded her like Mia and Hank had.

R
uby woke to the sound of birds chirping and bright sunlight flooding the screened-in porch. With only one tree on the property, she wouldn't expect any feathered creatures to take up residence. Then again, Hank McArthur appeared to have a soft spot for animals—maybe he'd hung feeders for his winged friends.

She checked the time on her cell phone. It was nine a.m. Normally she'd have gotten dressed by six thirty, but after her trip into town last night and learning about the death of Joe's son, sleep had eluded her. She'd lain in bed and listened to Mia's soft snoring, thanking the heavens above that her child was alive and well. Aaron's death had put things into perspective. Ruby wasn't happy that Mia had lost her virginity already, but she'd rather deal with that reality than Joe's—life without his child.

She'd contented herself with the knowledge that things hadn't always been strained between her and Mia. Before her daughter had entered her teens, they'd gone to the movies together, enjoyed shopping, and had given each other manicures. But when Mia had entered junior high, she'd begun pulling away from Ruby, choosing to spend time with friends rather than her mother, which was why Ruby had been stunned when she'd caught Mia with Kevin. She hadn't even been aware the two were hanging out.

Right now she and Mia were going through a rough patch, but Ruby was confident they'd weather this storm, and once they settled into their new home in Kansas, things between them would return to normal.

Ruby swung her legs off the bed and rubbed her eyes, then fumbled in the nightstand for her toiletry bag. When her fingers bumped the journal, she removed the notebook and studied the floral design on the leather cover. She'd never seen her mother write in the diary and hadn't discovered it until after her parents died.

Burying her parents, settling their estate, and being a single mother of a newborn was more than Ruby had been able to handle. The diary had gotten tossed into a box with other mementos, then stowed and forgotten. Not until she and Mia had cleaned out the trailer in preparation for their move had she come across the journal again.

She'd intended to read it, but then the letter from Hank's lawyer had arrived, knocking her legs out from under her. She'd been hurt and angry that her parents had kept her adoption a secret. The news had stirred up memories of her troubled relationship with her father, and now she didn't have the courage to read her mother's words, for fear she'd discover her parents hadn't loved her as much as she'd believed.

She returned the diary to the drawer, grabbed a pair of clean underwear, denim shorts, and a hot-pink tank top, then padded through the house, the smell of burned toast and coffee accompanying her to the second-floor bathroom. She showered and dressed, then pulled her damp hair into a ponytail before heading outside to inform Hank that the deputy might stop by.

The horses stood in the corral but grandfather and granddaughter were nowhere in sight. Hank's truck sat next to the shed—not where she'd parked it last night. He must have given Joe a lift into town to retrieve his vehicle. Squinting against the bright sun, she hiked across the dirt drive to the barn, pausing inside the doorway while her eyes adjusted to the dim light.

“I'm gonna call the black one Pretty Boy, because he was beautiful before he got all marked up.” Mia's voice echoed from the rear of the structure. “How come he has so many scars?”

“Tried jumping a fence to get to water and got tangled in barbed wire,” Hank answered.

Ruby stepped into the open but saw only a wheelbarrow filled with soiled hay. The pair must be cleaning stalls. She had trouble envisioning Mia shoveling horse crap when her daughter had never once taken the garbage to the Dumpster in the trailer park.

“The gray one is Sugar, 'cause she loves sugar cubes,” Mia said. “I'm not sure about the brown horse. I might call him Lonesome. He always stands by himself in the corral.”

“Don't expect 'em to come when you say their name. They're too old and set in their ways to learn new tricks.”

Maybe that same logic applied to Hank, and Ruby should adjust her expectations.

“I want a dog, but my mom says it costs too much to take care of one.”

“Animals need more than food and water. They need vaccinations and—”

“Did you take Friend to the vet after you found him?”

“Yep. He got all his shots.”

Ruby felt a twinge of guilt for eavesdropping, then shoved it aside. This was the most talkative Mia had been in weeks, and she didn't want to miss hearing anything that might help her understand why her daughter was shutting her out.

“I bet if I lived with you, you'd let me have a dog.”

Hank remained silent.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Mia asked.

“What would I do with a girlfriend?”

“She'd keep you company.”

“I've been on my own all these years. No sense changing that now.” Hank coughed, the rattle in his chest bouncing off the barn walls. Then he hacked up phlegm.

“That's gross,” Mia said.

“Got to clear out my chest in the morning.”

“I could help you quit smoking if you let me stay with you.”

Mia would rather live with a practical stranger than her own mother. Beads of sweat bubbled across Ruby's upper lip, and she wiped away the perspiration with the back of her hand. Since Mia had been caught in bed with Kevin, she'd given Ruby the cold shoulder. Ruby had backed off, deciding to wait until they arrived in Kansas before addressing the subject again. But if Mia continued to avoid Ruby, they might have to duke it out at the ranch.

“Why would you want to live with an old man like me?”

“You've got horses and Friend.”

“You like animals?”

“Animals love you no matter if you've done bad stuff,” Mia said.

Ruby's heart hurt for her daughter. Was she worried that her mother wouldn't love her after she'd slept with a boy?

“And animals never leave you.”

Who was leaving Mia? Ruby had always been there for her daughter.

“I'd rather live here than in Kansas,” Mia said. “My mom got a job at a motel in some stupid town called Elkhart.”

“I'm guessing you don't want to live in Elkhart,” he said.

“Not hardly.”

“What does your father say about you and your mom moving?”

“He doesn't care.”

If Hank wanted to know more about Dylan, why didn't he just ask her?

“My mom said my dad got her pregnant in high school. She thought he'd marry her, but he didn't.”

Which was why Ruby had to make Mia understand that sex had serious consequences and she was way too young to handle them.

Ruby had run into Dylan—literally—at the roller rink. Some twit had cut her off during the girls-only skate and she'd careened into the half wall, where Dylan stood with his back to the rink. The jolt sent his Dr Pepper flying, and the drink had splashed his date—a girl named Penny.

Penny had flown into a rage, but it had been Dylan whom Ruby couldn't take her eyes off. Apparently he'd found her just as interesting. Later that night he'd dumped Penny and given Ruby a ride home. She'd known Dylan was nothing but trouble, but she hadn't cared, because he'd wanted to be with her. After only three dates she'd handed him her virginity, and then a few months later the stick had turned blue.

And Ruby had blamed her pregnancy on Glen Baxter.

Every summer after Ruby had turned eight, she'd spent two weeks on the road with her father. Hands down, it had been the best part of her school break. No set bedtime. No rules against eating junk food. Candy bars for breakfast and giant-size sodas when they stopped to fill the Peterbilt with diesel fuel. And tours of roadside attractions—places like the Jesse James Wax Museum and the world's largest ball of twine. One of Ruby's favorite pit stops had been Leila's Hair Museum, where she'd been in awe of the wreaths made from human hair.

Then there had been the afternoon her father had pulled off in Effingham, Illinois, home of the world's largest cross. Ruby had gazed up at the white monstrosity and asked, “Is God real, or did people make him up like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?” Her father had said, “God is real if you want him to be, and not, if you don't want him to be.” And Ruby had taken him at his word.

In Indiana, they saw the Giant Lady's Leg Sundial in Roselawn, but her father wouldn't take her inside the resort because the people weren't wearing clothes. Then they visited the Backyard Roller Coasters of John Ivers in Bruceville. Mr. Ivers had let them ride the smaller one for free. Two weeks later her father would park the big rig in front of their trailer and Ruby would cry, sad to see their time together end. She and her father'd had a special bond, and that's why she'd been devastated the summer of her sophomore year in high school, when he'd canceled their road trip.

She closed her eyes against the memory—still painful after all these years. Her suitcase had been packed for days, and the list of roadside attractions was safely tucked inside her purse. The night before she and her father were to leave, her parents had gotten into a shouting match. Then the next morning her father had called off their trip. Her mother would say only that something had come up with her father's job and Ruby had to stay home. She didn't buy the lie for a minute, but each time she pressed for answers, her mother locked herself in the bedroom.

That morning was the last time she saw her father until Labor Day weekend. After that summer her relationship with Glen Baxter had gone downhill. He'd spent more hours on the road, adding extra deliveries to his schedule. Hurt and angry, Ruby had sought comfort elsewhere, which she'd found in the backseat of Dylan's car.

“How often do you see your dad?” Hank asked Mia.

“My mom said he used to stop by our trailer when I was a baby, but I don't remember that.”

Thinking back on their relationship, Ruby conceded that she'd never been in love with Dylan—only the attention he'd given her. She'd put up with his sporadic visits after Mia was born because she'd wanted him to bond with his daughter. But Dylan had only dropped by when he'd wanted sex or money for cigarettes and booze. Once she'd booted him out of her life for good, she'd set her sights higher, determined to find a decent boyfriend—not an easy task when educated guys wanted nothing to do with a teenage mother.

“Does your mom have a boyfriend?”

“She just broke up with Sean, and he was really nice. He watched TV shows with me and helped me with my math homework. He didn't do anything wrong, but she made him move out of our trailer.”

This was the first time Ruby had heard Mia voice an objection to Sean's leaving.

“Your mother must have had her reasons if she told him to go.”

Hank's comment was hardly a glowing endorsement, but Ruby appreciated his support.

“My mom doesn't like you.”

“I'm not surprised.”

“When she found out you were her real dad, she called you a stupid old asshole.”

“Girls shouldn't swear.”

Why was Mia attacking her? Did she want Hank to hate Ruby?

“I earned that bad name because I gave your mother up for adoption. But she raised you. Made sure you had a roof over your head and food on the table.”

“Once we leave here, my mom's never gonna visit you again.”

“Maybe not.”

“How much you wanna bet she won't let me visit you, either?”

“Mothers usually know best.”

“Hank?” Mia's voice trembled.

“What?”

“Promise you won't let my mom keep me from coming to see you and the horses?”

“You'll always be welcome at the Devil's Wind.” Hank stepped into view, pressing his shirtsleeve against his sweaty brow. He didn't act surprised when he spotted Ruby—maybe he'd known she was listening.

“If I don't like Elkhart, then I'll run away and come back here.” Mia raked a pile of soiled hay out into the open.

“I see you're working hard,” Ruby said.

Mia's eyes widened. “I'm mucking stalls.”

“Nice of you to help.” Ruby looked at Hank. “Did Joe mention you might have a visitor today?”

“He said the deputy was stopping by.” Hank pushed the wheelbarrow farther down the aisle, and when he passed Mia, he said, “Will you finish up in here?”

“Okay.”

Hank pointed a finger at Friend. “Stay.” Then he left the barn.

Alone with Mia, Ruby said, “I'm surprised you like cleaning up after the horses.”

“It stinks, but you get used to the smell.”

This was her chance to discuss what happened with Sean. “Mia?”

“What?” Her daughter's glower siphoned the courage out of Ruby. They should have never gotten off the bus yesterday. If they'd gone straight to Elkhart, Ruby wouldn't have to compete for her daughter's attention with a grumpy old man, an ugly dog, and three nags. “Never mind.” Mia wasn't in the right frame of mind for a rational conversation.