The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change (25 page)

“Since PoP was founded, we’ve wanted to work on the African continent. If we raise one million dollars tonight, we will expand into Ghana next year. You can make that happen. That’s not just an idea, it’s a promise.”

Hands started to go up with pledges, and the room willed itself forward.

*  *  *

By the time the event ended, we had done it. We’d raised over $1 million. In doing so we received several major five-figure and six-figure pledges, proving that our work appealed to philanthropists of all levels. But the night wasn’t just about the money. It was the culmination of everything that we had been through as an organization. The validation of everything we’d worked toward. All of the late nights and individual meetings, the thousands
of tiny wins, enabled this one big night to come together perfectly.

After all of the attendees left, only my family and our staff remained. The adage says to keep your friends close and your enemies closer; I believe in keeping your friends close and your family even closer. We begged the band to keep playing, and everyone danced together, hugging with euphoria. We looked so different on the outside, yet each of us shared a common thread. It wasn’t just the baci strings around our wrists, but the knowledge that this one night had put PoP on a whole new level. We were headed to Africa, and there was no turning back.

A
lthough the achievements of Pencils of Promise may have been rising, I also wanted something else—to find someone to love—and in that pursuit, I was getting nowhere. I saw how special my parents’ relationship was and wanted a lifelong partner just as they had, but finding the right person was proving difficult.

For as long as I could remember, I had been telling my mom that my future wife would have a cool name and green eyes. I’ve never known why I had that premonition, but I’d had this intuitive sense of the person I’d marry throughout my entire life. Each time someone tried to set me up with a girl, the first question I’d ask was “What’s her name?”—hoping that it sounded unique. I dated plenty of girls in New York, many of whom I genuinely liked, but I didn’t fall head over heels in love with any of them.

My deepest relationship was with Pencils of Promise, and I hadn’t connected with anyone on a level that compared. Being
alone started to frustrate me. When I would think about the type of girl I was looking for, the qualities were so specific yet contradictory: someone who laughed a lot but knew how to hold a serious debate; a girl who could backpack and stay on mud floors in bamboo huts, but could also walk the red carpet at a gala; a person who was close with her family but willing to go off the grid for a while. Friends would throw their hands in the air and wish me luck. Eventually Hoolie described this mythical girl accurately. “You’re looking for a unicorn,” he joked. “She sounds amazing, but I’m not sure she exists.”

On a blazing-orange summer night, I found myself chatting at a rooftop barbecue with my friend Dan’s girlfriend, Laura. Our PoP events had brought together many new couples, this pair being one of them, and I joked with Laura about finding me a match among her friends. When Dan peered over her shoulder to ask what we were discussing, she mentioned that we were talking about a girl for me. “Who, Tehillah?” Dan asked innocently. Laura replied, “No, she lives too far away. I was thinking of someone else.”

But that name alone set off something inside me. I had never heard such a beautiful name in my entire life. I had to know more.

“Wait, who is Tehillah?” I asked.

“Oh, she’s my best friend from high school. She’s the most down-to-earth person I know, and Jewish too.”

“Where’s she from?” I pressed.

“Well, she’s originally from South Africa. But she moved to Boston when she was nine and stayed there after college to model.”

“And she’s actually Jewish? That’s a huge deal in my family,” I said.

“Oh, yeah. Her dad is a rabbi. Her name means ‘praise’ in Hebrew.”

“So you’re telling me your best friend is a South African beauty
named Tehillah, whose father is a rabbi, and she’s down-to-earth too? I only have one more question.” I took a deep breath. “What color are her eyes?”

Laura paused, picturing her. “They’re green.”

My heart exploded. I had to meet her. “You have to give me her number. I want to invite her down to the city. I need to meet this girl,” I said urgently.

“Don’t you want to see her picture?” Laura asked.

“Nope. Photos create false expectations. I just want to meet her in person and see if there’s a mutual attraction. But I have a really good feeling about this.”

“Okay, we’ll make it happen,” Laura said, and a week later sent over a phone number for me to call, letting me know that Tehillah was interested in meeting too.

*  *  *

I must have written and rewritten that first text message thirty times. I wasn’t sure whether I should try to be funny or polite, respectful or forward. One of my friends consistently won over girls through his over-the-top-but-with-a-wink approach. He’d send messages like
Are you ready for the most dangerous date of your life?
and
I’m bringing a parachute and a kayak to the bar. What are you bringing?
Girls found him hysterical, so I decided to take his approach.

Hi, it’s Adam, Laura and Dan’s friend. I hear you’re coming to NYC and down to get drinks with a charming stranger?
I typed out. I thought,
Please don’t screw this up,
and pressed send.

Minutes later, I got a reply:
Oh, we’ll see how charming you are. I heard you’re terrible. I hear you rob banks and are wanted in nine different states.
She was witty! I laughed out loud while walking to the subway, and the text message banter began. Messages flew
back and forth, each revealing a bit more about our personalities and pasts. By the time we finally met in person several weeks later, seated across from each other at Dan’s birthday dinner, I had already told everyone I knew about this mystery girl. Fortunately, she was everything I had hoped and much more.

The first thing I noticed about Tehillah was her warmth. She made every single person she spoke with feel as if he or she were the center of the world. Her beauty was beyond description. Blond hair, tan skin, and emerald eyes that stared right through me. Although I was horrifically awkward for the first fifteen minutes, stumbling over my words, we found comfort in each other’s presence throughout the night. I had never believed in love at first sight, but I was experiencing it. We danced, laughed, and even shared a first kiss.

I was completely smitten. The next morning I emailed my entire family to tell them that I had met the girl I would one day marry. Just as my dad had done, I even wrote it on a piece of paper and placed the message in a bottle to be revealed on our wedding day. I had found someone to share my life’s journey with. Her name was Tehillah, and she was a unicorn with green eyes.

*  *  *

Having Tehillah as my partner changed my perspective on nearly everything. She helped me put my phone away at the end of the day, taught me to eat better and exercise more often. When I would blab on and on about PoP, she would remind me that no one likes someone who is one-dimensional and that every person I encountered that day was fighting an important battle too. Most important, she made me want to be a better listener, not just a better speaker.

Because I was so excited about how well things were going with
her, I found myself bringing her up during meetings with potential donors, and much to my surprise it created a whole new layer of connection. People can read each other’s bio on the Internet, but getting to know who someone is goes a lot deeper than what their job title tells you. By openly speaking about falling in love, I got into conversations about people’s families, how they met their husbands and wives, and what mattered most in their lives. These discussions weren’t about our work, but they created a bond that felt authentic rather than transactional.

This was exactly what led me to connect with one of the most inspiring people I have ever met, and one of the people who played a transformative role in the evolution of PoP.

*  *  *

I had heard Ray Chambers, the legendary financier and philanthropist, speak at the Google Zeitgeist conference in Arizona. I was motivated by the success he’d achieved in private equity and how he also used his passion and power to solve some of the world’s biggest problems through cofounding high-impact organizations such as America’s Promise, Points of Light, and Malaria No More. Ray was the ultimate example of what I hoped to one day achieve.

Around this time we were looking to bolster the PoP board of directors with one well-known individual who would add visibility and tremendous credibility to our work. Ray Chambers was the embodiment of that, but he was so many leagues ahead. I didn’t think I’d ever meet him without a podium or stage separating us. But remarkably, we were introduced via email and suddenly had an hour-long one-on-one meeting scheduled at his office.

Ray had been appointed by the United Nations secretary-general as the first UN Special Envoy for Malaria, and based on how effective he’d been in that position, he’d been elevated to
serve as the special envoy in charge of holding the world’s leaders accountable to each of the health-related Millennium Development Goals. After passing by the UN emblem on the front door of his Manhattan office, I was ushered into a stunning conference room overlooking Central Park.

Within a few minutes, Ray entered. His gray hair was neatly combed, and his pinstripe suit seemed fitting for someone of such esteemed authority. He invited me to sit on one of the two plush brown leather sofas and began to speak in his distinctive, breathy tone. “So, Adam, it sounds like you are doing wonderful things with P.O.P.,” he said with a smile.

I knew Ray was a former private equity guy, and although I planned to detail my finance background and hoped we’d connect on our shared paths combining business with philanthropy, I didn’t open with that. He’d allotted a full hour for us together, so I began with my personal story. I told him about the ship and the Wave. I told him about my experience with certain death, and how it led me to finding my sense of purpose.

Then I introduced our unique approach to increasing educational opportunity in the developing world. I used every business term in the book, talking about the efficiencies we were trying to leverage and the operational model we aimed to scale and replicate. I figured the opening story would give him context, but that the businesslike approach would be what he cared about most.

When I finally stopped talking, Ray closed his eyes and leaned his head back. I was waiting for him to give a detailed critique of our model. Instead, he responded, “Well, Adam, what you are describing—what you have experienced—is something that sages have sought for thousands of years. It is what the Dalai Lama teaches. What you are describing is the state of bliss. Bliss does not
come from materials or possessions, it comes from fulfilling one’s purpose in this existence.”

For the next ten minutes, Ray only spoke about achieving bliss through service to others. I was astounded. He spoke every word with such sincerity. I could hear Tehillah’s advice not to be so one-dimensional ringing in my ears and decided to abandon the conversation about our newly designed for-purpose approach. As we dove in deeper and deeper into the spiritual side of philanthropy, I could sense that we didn’t need to rely on business lingo to demonstrate our like-mindedness.

As we continued trading ideas, Ray started to fire off recommendations and referrals. “I think that my counterpart who is responsible for the achievement of the education Millennium Development Goals, Her Highness Queen Sheikha Moza of Qatar, would be great for you to speak with.” “There’s also a young man you should meet with who’s incredible with technology. I should introduce you to Jack Dorsey.” “Do you know Maria Eitel at the Nike Foundation?” “What about Reid Hoffman at LinkedIn?” The list of world changers went on until our hour was up, and I left buzzing from head to toe.

But this was just the start of our relationship. About a month later, Ray agreed to join our board of directors. With that decision, he changed the trajectory of PoP permanently.

*  *  *

Ray’s greatest value isn’t his wallet; it’s his ability to bring people together to collectively solve problems. When I decided to look further into new approaches to teacher training, literacy, and student scholarships, I started by emailing the board:
I need to speak with top education experts. Please send anyone you think I should meet with
.

Most responded with recommendations to connect with experts at universities, PhD candidates, and other for-purpose leaders. Ray wrote back,
I’ve been speaking a lot with the former Prime Minister of the UK, Gordon Brown, and his wife, Sarah, and I’d like to introduce you
. After my first two hours of chatting with Sarah, I knew I’d found a global leader in the education space whom I truly trusted and admired. (She would later become an honoree at our next gala.)