The Promise (2 page)

‘Not today, B
aby,’ I spoke quietly to myself. ‘Today, I’m busting outta here!’

Jack’s back was still turned to me so I’d have to be quick. I looked around to the living room and saw Ana lounging while she watched Ellen. I’d have to pass her to reach the door so this would be trickier than I thought, but I knew I could do it. One good thing about this scenario was that a commercial would come on any minute and one thing Ana hated was commercial breaks. She always used them to get up and get a drink or use the bathroom but she never
surfed and she never stayed put. I’d have to be quick, but I knew I could do this if Ellen would just work with me. A minute or two passed and I heard my accomplice say she’d be right back with the next guest and knew it was now or never. I heard Ana get up to go in the kitchen for a drink and I slid around the corner to sneak out. I would’ve made it, but at the last minute, she changed her mind and headed for the bathroom right next to my hiding spot.

“Jack! She’s trying to bolt again!”

Ana sold me out. Damn it!

I ran as fast as I could towards the door but in my weakened state, I didn’t get far before I felt Jack lift me up over his shoulder like I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

“Oh no, you don’t! Where do you think you’re going?” He asked as he turned to go back to his bedroom.

“Jack! Put me down! I’m not a baby and you can’t make me stay here against my will!” I screeched.

“Soph, I know you aren’t a baby but if you think I can’t make you stay in this room until you’re well again, then you’re wrong my beautiful girl. Now stop kicking me!” He laughed as he continued past Ana who wore a smirk on her smug face.

“Get well soon, Sophie,” she laughed.

“Analise Elizabeth Walker! You are dead to me, do you hear me?” I glared upside-down at her, flipping her off. I knew I was being a brat but I didn’t care. I couldn’t stand to be quarantined in that room for another second. Jack and Ana both laughed at my outburst.

“Baby, I think you’re overreacting,” Jack said as he kicked the bedroom door shut and gently set me down on the bed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“I’m not Jack! It sucks being in this room by myself for days on end with nothing to do and no one to talk to! How am I supposed to get better when I’m lonely, miserable and bored?” I whined.

“I know
, Baby. But in my defense you’re supposed to be resting, not formulating escape routes,” he laughed again as kissed the top of my head. “Besides, it’s been a day and a half and you’ve hardly been locked in here away from the world. I just don’t want you driving while you’re hopped up on flu medicine. Now lie down and try to get some rest. Please?”

I kno
w he just wanted me to get better but it didn’t change the fact that it sucked being stuck in the room on my own for hours at a time. Sure, he’d come in to check on me and bring me food and medicine. To try and get me to rest though, he only stayed for a little while and then I was alone again. I’d never been one of those needy girls but being away from Jack in any way sucked.

“Are you going to leave me again?” I asked him, trying desperately to not look as lame as I sounded.

“You need to sleep. I’m going to bring you some breakfast though and I’ll stay in here with you until I have to go to work if you want.”

He was trying to compromise but I didn’t want it. I’d wanted him to stay with me all day but wouldn’t ask that. I knew he needed to go to work.

“Okay,” I said, failing to sound convincing. Jack looked at me and I could see the wheels in his mind moving but he’d said nothing.

“Be right back, okay?” He abruptly turned and left the room.

Crap. I’ve upset him by being a brat. I’d apologize and do whatever he asked so I’d get better. I knew he was just trying to help me get healthy and if wasn’t being so difficult, I’d probably get better in another day or two. I also knew he had enough to worry about without me hatching up escape plans and throwing tantrums.

Minutes later, Jack walked in with my breakfast on a little tray. He
’d even put a little wildflower on the side of the tray for me.  He’d been so sweet taking care of me that week and all I’d done was complain. I really didn’t deserve him.

“Thank you Jack,” I said quietly.

“Well, don’t thank me yet, Baby. I made you some more of that tea you loved so much last night,” he laughed.

“I’ll drink the tea, Jack, but that’s not what I meant. Thank you for taking care of me. Not just since I’ve been sick but since we met. I know I’m not good at showing it and I’m sorry for being a brat today. But it really does mean a lot to me. It’s been a long time since anyone took care of me just because they wanted to,” I said. His sweet and gentle expression was one I hadn’t seen on his handsome face before.

“I’ll always want to take care of you, my beautiful girl. I love you,” he said as he pressed his lips to my temple and his strong hand rubbed my back.

“I love you too Jack,” I whispered back to him.

“Now, eat your food and I’ll be right back, okay?” he promised. I nodded and watched him leave his room.

When he came back, he’d changed out of his work clothes and into a t-shirt, his Nike shorts and he’d placed his baseball cap backwards on his head. He walked over to the bed as I stared at him dumbly and settled in next to me with a bowl of cereal.

“What are you doing? I thought you had to go to work?” I asked.

“I called in to work for today,” Jack answered simply as he picked up the remote and started clicking through the channels. “What do you want to watch, Babe?”

“Why would you call in? You didn’t have to do that, Jack!” I started. Even though it was secretly what I wanted, I couldn’t believe he actually had done it. “You need to work, Baby. You can’t…“ Jack placed his finger over my lips ending my rant.

“Shh, Soph. You said you wanted me to be with you and that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Yes, but Jack, you can’t just call in every time I throw a temper tantrum! Your job is too important to …“I tried to argue but it wasn’t easy with his finger still over my lips. I was doing cartwheels in my head at the thought of spending the day with him but I also knew he couldn’t really afford to take a day off.

“You’re more important to me, Sophie. I’m going back to work tomorrow and I’ll be able to make up the hours over the rest of the week so you don’t have to worry or feel guilty. I’m staying home with
my girl today and that’s that, okay? So stop arguing with me and tell me what a great boyfriend I am already,” he chuckled as he shot me the sexy, sideways grin that I loved so much.

I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best boyfriend in the history of the world. Thank you, Baby.”

“You’re welcome my beautiful girl,” he kissed the top of my head. ”Now, pick a show or we’re watching Thundercats.”  

Ana

Even though I know she can see right through me nowadays, I have to at least appear to be strong and tough for Sophie. Though at times it’s not easy when I know how hard this will be for me too.

Jack and I grew up in this house and walking away from it after everything that’s happened is definitely going to do a number on me. I can’t believe it’s really going to happen in just a few short days, but I know this is what I have to do to keep my promise to Jack.

Try as I might, I’ll never forget that day sitting on our couch with
him. Not that I’d want to. It’s one of my last memories with him and also the day that I finally understood his relationship with Sophie. I could finally see that what they had was more than just a high school crush. We were watching a re-run of Friends while Jack waited for Sophie to get ready for their date and as I laughed at something stupid one of the characters had done on the screen, I looked over at Jack who’d suddenly become quiet and deep in thought.

“What’s up little brother?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.

“What? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about stuff,” Jack said quietly, almost to himself. Jack had always been the quiet one of the two of us, but I could tell there was something else hiding in his silence. Something that was bothering him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing just …” he glanced over at me, pausing before continuing, “Ana can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“You know I deploy soon,” he started.

“Yeah, I know
… only a few more days now. Don’t remind me!” I said, instantly searching for a change of subject. I started to turn the volume back up on the television when Jack’s hand caught mine.

“Wait, Ana. We need to talk and it’s important. I know you don’t want to talk about this. Hell, I don’t either, but we have to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking …”

“Yeah, you do. You knew when I decided to enlist
it would come up and now it has,” Jack paused and his thick eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to find the right words. “If something happens …“

“
No! Nothing is going to happen! Don’t start thinking like that!” I cried, cutting him off before he continued, shaking my head in protest of where he was going with this.

“Ana, you know I’ll do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t hap
pen, but nothing in life is guaranteed, especially with this war happening. I need to know that if God forbid something does happen to me, you’ll be okay.”  

“What do you want me to say, Jack? No matter what happens, you’ve made your decision and my feelings won’t change.  I don’t really know what to say,” I said honestly.

The truth was, as much as I’d respected his decision to enlist in the Army, I couldn’t wrap my head around why he had. I knew that there was a chance he’d be injured or worse, couldn’t he understand that, too?

I
didn’t want to imagine my life without Jack, but now he was headed to a place that he may never come back from. With both of our parents dead and gone, it had been us against the world for a while. All we had left is the house they’d left us and each other. Knowing his decision was as much for me as it was for him, I still couldn’t help feeling like I was being abandoned.

He’d decided to join after our father passed away to offer us some stability. Bartending, working fast food jobs and living paycheck to paycheck was somethin
g we’d become accustomed to, but Jack said he felt awful knowing there was so much more he could do to help. Not to mention he felt as though it was his patriotic duty to help fight for our freedom. I respected his decision, but it didn’t make it any easier to think about him leaving.

“I need you to say it, Ana,” Jack’s eyes pleaded.

“Okay, Jack. I’ll be okay,” I lied. I knew if something happened to him, I would never be okay again. He knew it, too.

“Thanks,” he said as his eyes softened. He’d held my hand for a moment before looking at me again. “Ana?”

“Yeah Jack?”

“Can you do something else for me?” 

“Anything,” I promised.

“While I’m away c
an you keep an eye on Sophie?” he asked quietly.

I thought about this. Not once, not ever, had Jack asked me to do anything for a girl. In the past few months since he’d started hanging out with Sophie Ryan, I saw a change in him. He seemed quieter, more thoughtful but also more at peace.

“You love her?” I asked even though I didn’t really need to. Anyone who saw them together would have to be a fool to miss it.

Jack didn’t say anything at first. I considered asking him again because I thought he hadn’t heard me. When I opened my mouth to repeat my question
, he answered me.

“I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much. I know I shouldn’t since I’m leaving but I can’t help it. I tri
ed not to love her, Ana. I did, but I just couldn’t help but fall in love with her.” He went quiet again, lost in his thoughts. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

“What? Jack, y’all are barely old enough to get legally married!” I exclaimed. Jac
k and Sophie had both just turned eighteen. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but just when I was about to go on about what an awful idea it was to get engaged at such a young age, Jack looked at me and stopped me from saying anything more.

“I don’t care about that. I don’t care if we get married tomorrow or in thirty years, Ana. Sophie is my heart, she’s my soul mate. She’s my forever and it doesn’t matter how old you are, when you find your forever you just know. I knew it the second I set eyes on that girl. She hasn’t said as much but I know she feels it, too. There’s no denying it for either of us.” I looked at Jack and saw the clarity, the reverence, and the calmness in his eyes. I knew there was no use in trying to talk him out of it. He’d made his decision and if I knew one thing about Jack Walker it was once he made a decision, he stuck with it. “The thing is,” he went on,” I don’t know how she’s gonna handle things when I leave. It’s gonna be really hard for us to be apart, Ana. We’ve only been together for a few months but already the thought of leaving her is killing me. I know she feels the same because she can’t even look at me when I bring up my deployment. Boot camp was hard enough on her. I need you to keep an eye on her while I’m gone,
take care of her for me. Please?”

Even though this new side of Jack wasn’t something I was used to seeing, I could see in his eyes how much this mean
t to him. How much she meant to him. I couldn’t offer him much, but I could try to give him this if it was what he needed.

“Okay, Jack. I will,” I said.

“Do you promise?” he asked me.

“Yes, Jack. I promise,” I sa
id meeting his eyes. Then, as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, he grinned widely and grabbed me into an embrace, squeezing me hard.

“Thanks, Ana. I love you,” he said quietly into my hair.

“Love you, too, Jackie,” I said into his neck as I choked the tears back. I didn’t know what this girl had done to my brother, but she sure as shit better love him back.

Now, watching
her from the same couch, I can see Sophie in Jack’s room quietly packing up the last of her things. In these past couple of years, she’s more than proven her love for my brother. I can see it in everything she does.

We decide we’
ll finish packing up tonight, say our goodbyes tomorrow, and then leave the day after. She’s been quiet all day, which has become the norm, but there’s something different about her today.

“Have you eaten today?” I ask.

“No. I’m not really hungry,” she says quietly lost in her thoughts.

“Well I am. How about we take a break and get something to eat?”

“Ana, I’m not really hungry,” she repeats, this time with a gentle pleading look in her eyes.

“Well then come watch me eat. Come on. Get your shoes on, we’re going,” I order. I hate being so tough on her when I know she
’s struggling just as much as I am, but I know after the past few years this is the only way around her stubbornness.

“Okay,” she finally concede
s.

I watch
her amble around the room for a few more minutes in the same withdrawn manner I’ve witnessed day in and day out for the past few months. Eyes eternally damp, she’s now just a shell of the girl my brother had fallen in love with. Every once in awhile she’ll come back, but it’s always short lived and it’s never the same. She’s never been the same. Not since Jack left.

“I don’t know how she’s gonna handle things when I leave,”
Jack’s words echo in my mind.

“Not looking good, Jack,” I whisper under my breath so she can’t hear me. I wonder silently over the benefits of my plan to move away from this place. While I see how getting away from all the memories can help her, I’m not fool enough to believe it will cure her heartache or mine
completely. I know this is the best option we have if I’m to keep my promise to Jack.

Watching her mope around our house since Jack’s passing
, I can see her depression is getting worse. Being around all of his belongings and living amidst all of their memories together is doing nothing more than keeping her locked inside her denial. When she does get the courage to face reality it smacks her in the face and keeps her hostage for days at a time. I decide for the millionth time in the past few weeks that yes, hard as this will be, it’s the right thing for both of us.

After a modest supper at the local diner, we call it a night. I ask if she want
s to see a movie but she shrugs it off, saying she just wants to go home. I can’t blame her. I want to spend as much time there as I can before we leave. Although I know it’s for the best, I can’t deny that leaving will be like losing him all over again. I don’t think I’m strong enough for that. We have tomorrow to say our goodbyes one last time. Then we’ll be on our way, but for tonight I’ll embrace denial.

***

Three hours and a bottle and a half of wine later, I’m woken by the sounds of Sophie screaming. It hasn’t happened in a few days, but I guess I should’ve expected it sooner or later with all the emotions that we’ve been experiencing lately. I barrel through Jack’s door and launch myself onto the bed shaking Sophie, encouraging her to wake up.

“Sophie! Sophie wake up! It’s okay! Honey
, you have to wake up!” I said frantically, silently praying I would wake up from this nightmare as well. I would give anything for our reality to only be a bad dream, but I know that won’t happen.

“Jack!” s
he wakes slowly as her drawn out words resound off the walls. I hate this. “Jack! Come back! Please! Please come back! Don’t leave me!” Her shrieks are deafening and her chest is heaving so hard she’s struggling for breaths. All I can do is try to comfort her even if I don’t know how.

“Soph, I’m here. I’m here, Sophie. Shhh…” I try to soothe her while I rock her gently awake.

“Ana why? Why did this happen? Why did he have to die? It’s not fair! It’s not fair! I want him back! I want him back so bad. I can’t live without him anymore. I can’t breathe without him. I can’t …” She’s sobbing without restraint now and so am I. I try to be strong for her but on nights like this I let my guard down enough to cry with her. Is our codependency unhealthy? Probably. But this is what we both need so I take it.

“I don’t know, Soph. I don’t know why. I want him back, too,” I cry as we hold each other
well into the night. We sit like this for what seems like days. Looking up at the clock though I see only minutes have passed. Only a few hours remain until we both have to get up and we both know sleep is no longer an option. Sophie is drenched in sweat from her nightmare and I get up to give her space to change.

When she comes out of the room, she’s showered and put on new pajamas and I’ve got her tea waiting on the table for her.
She settles silently into the seat across from me, fiddling with the teabag in her mug but not really concerned with drinking it.

“You wanna talk about it?” I ask. Her answer is a mystery to me. Up until a few weeks ago, she never would tell me but recently she confessed what I’d already suspected to be true about the nightmares.

“I don’t really see the point. It’s the same as always, Ana. One second he’s with me and we’re happy, smiling and laughing, in the middle of a cherished memory, the next he’s being ripped away from me. The Army officials are at the door killing my dreams or he’s boarding the plane again and I wake up screaming.” Her voice is so void of emotion it breaks my heart. “What I don’t understand is why I keep having these nightmares. I’m not stupid. I know he’s dead.” We both flinch at the word. “So why does my mind keep torturing me? I relive those moments every second of every day. I will for the rest of my life. Why can’t I just have some peace at night, you know? We have so many memories that are happy, why can’t I dream of those and leave out the horrible ones?” Her voice wavers but she’s strong in her resolve. 

“I know what you mean. I keep dreaming about the same things and I don’t understand it either. I think getting away will help,” I tell her.