The Promise (30 page)

By the time she finished reading the poem, she was breathing heavily. All this time, she had been so absorbed in her grief, that she had closed her eyes to the world. She had not seen Arjun dealing with his own misery, teamed with this magnitude of guilt and helping her through it too, all at once.

She ran around the house, looking for him. She checked the balconies and the lawn. She went to the back door and peeked out. He was not in the house. Where had he gone? The sudden desperation to have him close to her was overwhelming. What if he has left? For real? For always? she panicked.

But something told her that he would come back. She knew he would never run away again, not unless she asked him to go ... his poem told her that.

Before she could do anything else, there was a sound of the door opening and her heart skipped. She saw Mili enter through the front door.

'Hey there,' Mili said, cheerfully.

Shambhavi did not say anything. She wanted Arjun. No one else.

'Arjun called me and said he won't be able to stay here tonight. So I thought I would spend the night with you. It'll give us some girl time too. With Arjun around all the time, it becomes impossible for me to catch you alone nowadays.'

Arjun was not coming back for the night. Her heart felt heavy with guilt-of what she had been making him go through, of misunderstanding him and never giving him a chance to explain.

'I got some Chinese food on the way. I'm so fed up of my own cooking,' Mili blabbered away.

Ever since Shambhavi had stopped listening to people, she had found that people around her talked more than before. Mili kept feeding her all kinds of useless information, but once again, Shambhavi was not listening. She felt awful. She needed to talk to Arjun.

Mili served the food and they sat down to eat. No matter how hard Shambhavi tried to shove the contents of the fork inside her mouth, she could not.

'Eat, Shambhavi,' Mili said softly. She put her own fork down.

Shambhavi shook her head. She saw the surprise in Mili's eyes on seeing her respond. Through action, but response still.

'Why? You will only get weaker. We need you to regain your strength. Dr Mishra said it's important. We need you healthy,' Mili pleaded.

Shambhavi did not care.

'Please. You need to recover. This is important. If you ever want to ... be a mother again...' Mili said.

Shambhavi's eyes shot towards her friend's.

Mili nodded.

Shambhavi silently picked up her fork and started cramming food into her mouth. She had let people trick her into eating once again. But this time, she felt Mili was serious. Mili did not know how to lie anyway. She finished the rest of her food and waited for Mili to finish hers.

'Do you want to watch some TV? Should I put on an episode of something?' Mili asked. 'Come with me. I'll put on an episode of the good old Simpsons.'

Shambhavi followed Mili to the bedroom and sat down on the bed when she instructed her to. Mili fiddled with her DVD collection and the remote and after playing something on the TV, went to the dining room to clear away the plates.

Shambhavi stared at the television. It might as well have been switched off; she did not see anything. She kept thinking about Arjun, wishing he would come back soon. She wanted to ask Mili about him, but she had become too used to not speaking; it felt weird to use words.

That night, she did not sleep. Mili was in the bed, next to her, in deep sleep. Shambhavi knew that if she slept, she would wake up in cold sweat and Mili would panic. Besides, she did not want Mili to be the one chasing her nightmares away. She wanted Arjun. Only Arjun.

Every time she closed her eyes, the nightmare came back to haunt her. She spent the night up, not even closing her eyes, dreading the nightmares. She realized how much she really needed Arjun in her life, how much his presence meant to her. She wondered how she would be able to live, if he never came back.

'How are the ladies doing this morning?' he asked cheerfully.

When she saw him enter her bedroom the next morning, she paused chewing. Mili had served French toast in bed and was forcing it down her throat, along with milk. She gulped and stared at him. She could not believe he was there for real. Despite the poetry, she had thought he would leave her, like he had before ...

'Oh, Arjun, you're here,' Mili said. She was dressed in her office shirt and a pencil skirt. 'I was just about to call you. I need to run.'

Arjun did not look at Mili. His eyes were locked with Shambhavi's ever since he had entered the room. He was paused at the door, just as Shambhavi was paused on the bed. She held his eyes-not blinking even once-in the fear that he would disappear.

'Arjun,' a gasp escaped her lips and she suddenly got to her feet and rushed into his arms.

The world seems a better place, with that one person by our side.

rjun could not believe it was actually happening. He had lost all hope and had gone away, not to leave her but to tell himself to be strong, and be by her side ... somehow ... no matter what. And when he came back, it was as if Shambhavi had come back too. He had seen her expression change from blankness to surprise, from surprise to belief, from belief to happiness ... Should he dare to believe that his eyes were not fooling him?

He had seen her face crumple up almost instantly, tears rushing from her eyes. She had called his name. His name, he thought happily. And she had run towards him, and thrown herself into his arms.

'Arjun ...she said again, holding him tightly to herself.

He looked at Mili, whose face had the exact same shocked expression as his. He raised his eyebrows as if to ask what was going on. She shrugged at him and buried her face in this chest.

'Shambhavi?' he asked, looking at the top of her head. That was all he could see of her. She had dug the rest of her face too deeply in his embrace. 'Is everything okay?'

'Arjun,' she repeated in a muffled voice, still hiding in his chest.

'Yes, Shambhavi. I'm here. Tell me -what's wrong?'

'Everything. Just ... everything ...'

'Nothing is. It's all getting better, can't you see? You are getting better,' Arjun said. He saw Mili sneak out of the room.

'It's not. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry,' Shambhavi broke down completely.