The Prisoner of Snowflake Falls (23 page)

“With this in mind, we have been busy becoming acquainted with the social scene of Snowflake Falls,” said Wally. “We've decided to pull the job during the holiday sing-along on Boxing Day.”

“But Harley Howard never goes to the sing-along,” I said. “How are you going to rob the richest man in town, if he refuses to leave his mansion?”

“This could be a problem,” said Cookie.

Then Uncle Andy asked Wally and Cookie to leave the room. “I want to have a little talk with Henry,” he said. When everyone else had left, Uncle Andy looked at me sheepishly. “Since you know this town, I might need your help with pulling off this job.” He looked at me very seriously and asked, “Is there any way you can get Harley Howard to attend that sing-along?”

“I don't know,” I said. “There might be. But he's very stubborn.”

“I wouldn't even ask,” said Uncle Andy. “Except this is for us. You and me.”

I asked him what he meant, and he got all excited. “I was looking on the Internet and found this house we could rent in Arizona,” he said. “It's perfect for us. All we need is the stake from this one last job and we can all live together like we used to.”

“How much are you going to take?”

“Just enough for a new start,” said Uncle Andy, who said the profit margin was going to be genuinely modest after covering expenses. “There's all the stock we have to buy for the store to make it look like a legitimate business. Plus the moving truck we have to rent to haul all the goods away. ”

“Are you sure the job is worth it, Uncle Andy?”

“We're small-time crooks, Henry,” he said. “And what is the first rule of a small-time crook?”

“Think small,” I said. Then I told him he looked a little tired.

“Serial incarceration is beginning to lose its charm,” he commented. “To tell you the truth, I've been thinking of going straight after this job.”

“You mean you're never going to steal again after this?”

“Like I said, I just want a fresh start,” he answered. “For both of us.” Then Uncle Andy pepped right up again and gave me a big smile. “So what do you say, Henry? Are you in?”

I knew that I'd probably never get to live with Uncle Andy if Judge Barnaby had his way. “No problem, Uncle Andy,” I said. “I'll do anything you want.”

“You really had me going about the Hendersons, you know.” He grinned. “Maybe you're more of a natural at this business than I thought.” Then he looked at me as if he was going to ask something very important. “You haven't made any real friends around here, have you?”

I thought about how Charlotte and George looked up to me. I thought about how Oscar liked to throw his arms around my ankle and laugh while I dragged him around the house. I thought about how Theodora trusted me even though I didn't really deserve it. And then I thought about the gang at Top Kow and the people who were always waving to me on the street.

“No,” I said. “I don't have a single friend in this town.” It was the first time I had ever lied to my Uncle Andy since making up the Hendersons. But he didn't seem to notice. “That's good,” he said. “Because nothing messes up a job faster than stealing from friends.”

FIFTEEN

U
ncle Andy told me it was very important to keep things as normal as possible while the various stages of the job were executed. “The most important thing to remember is that I am temporarily no longer your Uncle Andy,” he said. “For the time being, my name is Andrew Tait.”

Although my uncle looked different—thanks to growing a very respectable-looking beard—it was hard to think of him as anything but Uncle Andy, even though, like me, he had a lot of fake
ID
s. Still, I did my best to keep up with my usual routine. At times, it seemed as if nothing had changed. But then one day I opened the local paper and saw the headline
Crime Wave
Hits Snowflake Falls
. Mind you, the crime wave was only three or four small robberies. But it was enough to give business for the new hardware store quite a boost.

You should have seen Wally Whispers behind the counter of the hardware store, talking locks and keys with the locals like he'd been doing it all his life. He even made up free keychains with the store's logo and passed them out to one and all. One afternoon, I watched him for a while. He spent ten minutes helping Sylvia decide between a beige electrical outlet cover and a brown one. “Thank you, Ernie,” said Sylvia. “Your sense of color is a lifesaver.”

If I didn't know better, I would almost think that Uncle Andy and his associates were enjoying pretending to be honest businessmen. I could tell that Uncle Andy was enjoying it a bit too much. It all started with the Welcome to Snowflake Falls Committee. The head of the committee was none other than Ms. Penelope Pendergast, who took an immediate liking to Mr. Andrew Tait.

Soon I began to hear rumors that they were dating. Then I noticed that Ms. Pendergast was starting to knit a red sweater. Red just happens to be my uncle's favorite color.

I asked Wally about it in private, and he got very serious. “I have never seen your uncle so smitten,” he said. “It is like Cupid has hit him over the head with a giant sledgehammer.”

I began to see Uncle Andy and Ms. Pendergast walking around town as if they were on the longest date in the history of Snowflake Falls. At first, I wasn't too concerned. But then I saw the two of them coming out of the movies, holding hands.

I was so shocked that I went to see my uncle at the hardware store the next day. He took me into the stockroom for a private conversation. “I saw you holding hands with my school counselor last night,” I said. “Right in the middle of a public street.”

Uncle Andy blushed. “We were coming out of this horror movie about a giant bug,” he said. “She was just a little scared, that's all.”

“I am very fond of Ms. Pendergast,” I pointed out. “She bakes me fresh muffins five days a week.”

“She talks about you all the time,” said Uncle Andy. “And she doesn't even know we're related.” He gave me a lovesick grin before adding, “Penelope is very dedicated to keeping you on the straight and narrow.”

“Your relationship is becoming the talk of Snowflake Falls,” I said. “There are all sorts of rumors flying around.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“That you and Ms. Pendergast are going to make your own raspberry jam and enter it in the homemade jam contest at the Pumpkin Festival,” I said. “Mrs. Halpern says this means you're practically pre-engaged.”

“Pre-engaged?” said my uncle. “Just because we both like preserves?”

“I'm worried, Uncle Andy. Wally says you're smitten.”

“Don't be concerned, Henry. Andrew Tait may be smitten to the core. But Andy Holloway is all business.”

Wally and Cookie weren't so sure about Uncle Andy's state of mind. “This town can cast a very strange spell over a normally coldhearted individual,” Cookie said. “Have you noticed that everyone is always waving at you, even when you don't wave back? I find this highly unnatural.” I told Cookie to just return the wave and try to blend in. Pretty soon he was waving at one and all.

I watched as Cookie, Wally and Uncle Andy became die-hard Snowflakes. When preparations for the Pumpkin Festival began in October, they pitched right in. On the actual weekend of the festival, Cookie and Wally won the senior division of the three-legged race. And Uncle Andy outbid everyone for Mr. McHugh's prizewinning tomato, which was practically the size of a grapefruit.

They went on every ride and played every game there was. They brought four kinds of fresh-squeezed lemonade between them and shook hands with just about everyone in town. At one point, Wally asked if the man making animal shapes out of balloons wanted to take a little break. After that, he took right over and started to make what turned out to be a fairly decent balloon giraffe.

When Uncle Andy discovered that Ms. Pendergast was selling her homemade baked goods to raise money for the school band, he bought thirty-six blueberry muffins. I went up to him and whispered, “Have you forgotten that you're allergic to blueberries?” All he did was smile and say, “Would you like a muffin, Henry?”

All in all, you would have never guessed that these three individuals were planning a robbery of any kind. But then, it's funny how fast a career prisoner can get used to a place that doesn't have bars on the windows. Even though the hardware store was just a front, Uncle Andy developed an instant dislike for Biggie's Bargin Barn. “How is the little guy supposed to make a living in this town?” he asked, when he discovered that some people were buying their new locks at Biggie's.

“It is only our personal good fortune that we have dishonesty to fall back on,” added Wally.

Cookie started to say that Biggie's was actually a very cheerful place. In fact, he was thinking of continuing to work there part-time. But Uncle Andy insisted that Cookie quit his job as a greeter at Biggie's if he was going to work at the hardware store. “There goes the least objectionable honest work I ever had,” said Cookie.

Even Oscar could not resist the lure of Biggie's. One night at dinner, he kept looking around at everybody like some wheels were turning around in his little head. Finally, he opened his mouth to say his first whole sentence ever. “I like Biggie's!” he shouted.

Naturally, a grinning Oscar was expecting attention and approval. But there was only silence. Mr. Wingate, who had just gone over his store accounts that afternoon, turned very pale. “Excuse me, everyone,” he said very formally. “I believe I'm going to lie down in the living room.”

Theodora could not believe what she was hearing. “In the living room?” she asked.

Harrison nodded. “I do not wish to be disturbed,” he said. Once Mr. Wingate had wandered off to lie down on the living-room couch, Charlotte spoke up.

“Can I be the one to wash out Oscar's mouth with soap?” she asked.

“Don't be silly, Charlotte,” said Theodora. Then she kissed Oscar on the cheek and headed for the living room to check on Mr. Wingate.

“Oscar gets away with murder,” grumbled Charlotte. She marched off in a huff, leaving me alone with Oscar, whose mouth was hanging open in puzzlement.

“Way to go,” I said. “Your first whole sentence!”

Oscar shot me a grateful grin. “I like Biggie's!” he repeated.

The next day, I moved into the finished guest room at the Wingates. Mind you, I would have to keep my door closed since Oscar had finally graduated from his supercrib to a small bed without bars. I discovered that if I left the bedroom door open, he would wander in whenever he felt like it. But so what? I was still deliriously happy. At least at first.

Maybe it was all the silence that came with not having to listen to Oscar's constant snoring. There was nothing to distract me from wondering what everyone in Snowflake Falls would think of me once my uncle and his associates pulled off the big robbery. Of course, all of us would be on our way to Arizona by then. But I knew it wouldn't take long before they figured out I'd betrayed them all.

I guess maybe because I was feeling a little guilty, I lost my temper with Harley Howard. I had just finished reading him a poem by Robert Frost called “The Road Not Taken.” It was all about this person reflecting on the choices he had made in life and whether he went down the right path.

It was the kind of poem that made you think. Exactly what I was doing when Harley Howard blew a stream of smoke in my face. After that, I really lost it. I started to tell him how my mother died of cancer and how I hated breathing in all his toxic cigar smoke. “Why didn't you say so?” said Harley, who immediately stubbed out his cigar. “What am I supposed to be? A mind reader?”

The old man was being quite reasonable, all things considered, but I was all wound up because of the cigar smoke and his superior attitude and the way he was always bragging about what a great security system he had. I couldn't take it anymore.

I knew that what I was about to do could really complicate Uncle Andy's plan for a smooth and easy robbery of Harley Howard's mansion. On the other hand, I just couldn't help myself. “I know your security code,” I said. “I can stop your alarm from going off any time I want.”

“Bullcrap,” said Harley.

“How about if we do a little test right now?” I asked. “Two tries and I'll crack the code.”

“One try,” said Harley. “That's all you get. And when the alarm goes off, you can head straight for the toilet brush.”

“If I win, I get a favor right? Any favor I want?”

“That's what I said, didn't I? I'm a lot of things, kid, but Harley Howard is no welcher.”

The two of us went to the wall by the front door where the code panel was. Harley was looking very smug while activating his alarm system. “I'm going to enjoy this,” he said. “I think I'll make you wear a frilly apron while you dust.”

I got a little slip of paper out of my wallet and stared at it for a few seconds. I had two possible choices. And, if I made the wrong one, I'd be polishing Harley Howard's silverware until every last speck of tarnish was gone.

“What's the matter, kid?” said Harley. “Losing your nerve?”

I took a deep breath and made my choice. I could feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead as I punched in the series of numbers. When I was done, there was no alarm. Only the sweet sound of silence.

Harley Howard was so shocked that he had to sit down. After a while, he said, “How did you do that?”

“All it took was a little research at the library,” I said. “When it comes to security codes, most people use their birthdays.”

“Keep talking,” said Harley.

“I came across your birthday in an old copy of the
Flurry
,” I explained. “That's where I found your wife's birthday too. I almost tried your birthday first. But I changed my mind.”