The Princess and the Pauper (10 page)

“Let go of me!” she sputtered angrily.

For an answer he kissed her, grinning as she fought him, laughing out loud when she suddenly surrendered with a heartfelt sigh.

“I’ll see you later,” he told her, giving her a soft slap on the butt when she showed no signs of releasing him. Reluctantly, she untangled her arms from around him.

As he drove away he was conscious of the curtains on one of the upstairs bedroom windows twitching.

The knock on April bedroom door didn’t surprise her. She had expected her father. And she was damn well ready to give him a piece of her mind. “It’s open,” she called in a cool voice.

But it wasn’t Peter Hollis who tentatively entered the spacious room. The slim, quiet woman standing in the doorway was her mother, Madeline.

“Mom,” April greeted her uncomfortably. Unlike her husband, Madeline was understanding and sweet and fair.

She perched herself on the edge of April’s bed, smoothing the satin coverlet. “Your father’s worried about you,” she said softly. “He said you had a fight today.”

“A fight is an understatement. I was furious with the way he treated Jesse. Mom, he was awful!”

“What did he say?”

“He said… well, he just made Jesse feel uncomfortable.” April sat down on the window seat, gazing across the road to Windsor Estates Park.

“Jesse is the boy who came here today?”

April gritted out, “He’s not a boy. Jesse’s twenty-five.”

Madeline didn’t comment. She seemed at a loss for words and April, though she didn’t want to admit it, understood why. Jesse Cawthorne seemed to be going nowhere. He was not a hot prospect for a lasting relationship, and her parents were clearly both worried. She squirmed a little inside; if she was honest, she’d admit it worried her, too. A bit.

“Well, when are we going shopping for school?” Madeline asked briskly, changing the subject, to April’s intense relief. “We’ve hardly discussed what you’re going to need, and you’ll be leaving soon.”

“Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon?”

“It would be better for me today,” she said.

April held her breath. Pressure seemed to be building on all sides. She didn’t want to think about college. She didn’t want to think about leaving Jesse. “I’ve got some things to do this afternoon,” April lied.

Her mother gave her a long look. “Okay, I’ll change my schedule so we can go tomorrow,” she said as she got to her feet.

“Mom?” April gazed appealingly at her, her pulse beginning to pound. “I’m not sure I want to go away to college. Couldn’t I go to a community college?”

Madeline drew in a deep breath. “Is your decision based on this boy?”

“He’s not a boy! I’m just not ready to leave home.”

“Last spring it was all you talked about. April, if you love him and he loves you, he’ll wait for you. You know, you just might find out you’re not right for each other.”

“Which is just what you and Dad are hoping for, right?”

Madeline shook her head, hand on the doorknob. “I wonder why you’re seeing him, that’s all. He’s not anything like your friends. In fact, I haven’t seen Carrie or Lance or anyone from your class hanging around. It just seems to me that you’ve decided to be with this Jesse, come hell or high water.”

Her footsteps retreated down the hallway. April’s throat burned. She squeezed her eyes closed and drew a breath. Why didn’t they understand? She loved Jesse. Every time they were together they made love, and it was the most wonderful, beautiful experience of her life. She couldn’t give him up!

A niggling doubt surfaced at the back of her mind. What
was
Jesse doing with his life? He worked at the mill and lived at home. He didn’t seem to have any other aspirations. If she married him, what kind of future would she have?

April jumped to her feet, hands clenched, hating her thoughts. Running away from them, she ran lightly down the steps. “I’m going over to Carrie’s, okay?” she sang out, grabbing her mother’s car keys.

“Be back for dinner,” her mother called after her.

April drove the station wagon with repressed fury. She wanted to see Jesse, but now he was working swing shift. He wouldn’t be off until eleven.

She circled aimlessly for over an hour, finally making good on her word and stopping by Carrie’s. But Phillip was there, and he made a point of ignoring April. Even Carrie was subdued.

April’s anxiety increased. She returned home long before dinner, then picked at her meal under her parents’ watchful eyes. The hands of the clock moved like molasses in winter. Stifled, she told her parents she wanted to drive to Portland and see a movie. Reluctantly they allowed her to go, and April drove by Jesse’s home again and again. She passed the time lost in thought until Jesse’s shift finally ended.

He saw her parked near the lot’s exit and steered near her, cutting the motorcycle’s engine. April rolled down her window, and he leaned his arms on the warm, metal frame of her door. “Want to meet on River Road?” he asked softly.

River Road was one of their favorite places. There was a quiet, shady glen about half a mile in from the road, not too far from Three Bears, but far enough to ensure privacy. April nodded, but for some reason her chest felt tight.

Jesse was standing beside his motorcycle, waiting for her when she pulled the car into the narrow turnaround above the river. She stepped out and was immediately cloaked by the night’s warmth. Insects hummed in the shadows. In the distance she could hear the river rushing over a stony reef.

For the first time since their relationship had begun, April felt uncomfortable. Doubts seemed to crowd her mind. She let Jesse lead her down the pathway they’d beaten to the glen, but once they reached it, she could only stand awkwardly near a large, smooth rock they sometimes sat on. Her hands were clenched.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, the sound of his voice raising the hair on her arms. “As if I didn’t know.”

“My father’s a jerk,” April answered, but her voice lacked heat.

Jesse clasped her fingers in his, pulling her closer to him, into the intimate spot between his legs. He stared down into her eyes. “He doesn’t approve of me.”

“I don’t care what he thinks.”

“Yes, you do.”

“He doesn’t know you like I do.”

Remembering the curtain falling back across the window, Jesse asked lightly, “And your mother? What does she think?”

“She hasn’t met you yet.” April averted her eyes, gazing over his shoulder. She stepped away from him, away from his heat.

“You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you, Princess?” His voice was cool and mocking.

“Don’t call me that!” April whirled on him, furious – and miserable.

Jesse felt a constriction in his chest that was almost painful. He’d known this day would come, but he hadn’t known he would care so much. Still, this was April’s decision.

“I’m going away,” she said, sighing, sinking down onto the rock. “I don’t want to, but I am.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She glanced up swiftly.

Jesse shrugged.

April clenched her teeth. She wished he would do something. Fight for her. Let her know how he felt. Get down on bended knee and plead with her to stay! Instead, he was as enigmatic as ever, and she wondered why she even bothered.

Her throat ached. Absurdly, she felt like crying. “Are you always going to work at the mill?” she burst out suddenly. “What are you doing with your life? Sometimes I think we’re going nowhere!”

Jesse head jerked back. “You mean
I’m
going nowhere,” he corrected her evenly.

“Yes!”

She hadn’t meant to say it. There were so many other things she wanted to say first. Now words poured out, tumbling faster and faster. “I think I love you. I want to stay with you. I can’t imagine leaving you.”

“Can’t you?”

“Jesse…” April reached out an arm, hoping for comfort, but he didn’t move. Feeling bereft, she dropped her hand slackly to her side.

“Go to college, April. It’s where you belong.” Jesse turned back toward the trail.

April bounded to her feet. “And what about you? What about
us?”

“This was a summer affair. That’s all. We both knew it.”

Her lips parted in distress. He didn’t mean it! She hurried after him, wanting to touch him, knowing instinctively that he would just thrust her away.

“You’re lying. I love you.”

Jesse turned on her, looking so furious that April stepped back. “Say that again and I’ll wring your neck,” he growled harshly. “Get the hell out of my life, and stay there!”

April’s mouth tightened, her nostrils flared in outrage. She’d had enough of his edicts to last her a lifetime. “Fine. I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t give a damn about you!”

His hands clenched and unclenched. Then he laughed without humor and shook his head while striding the last few yards to his motorcycle. He flung one leg over the seat. “Goodbye, Princess,” he mocked, switching on the engine. “Have a nice life.”

“You bastard!” she cried, but he didn’t hear her. The noise was too great. With a spurt of weeds and dirt, he tore down the road, leaving her standing forlorn in the trampled grass.

Three days later April was standing on Jesse’s front porch, sick with regret. She needed to see him again. Three days alone had made her realize how she’d hurt him, how inadequate she’d made him feel. She’d proven herself to be a Windsor Estates girl of the first order. She wanted to die.

The door opened a crack. “Yes?” a cautious, feminine voice asked.

“Hello, my name is April Hollis. I’m, er, looking for Jesse Cawthorne.”

The door opened wider and April got her first close look at Jesse’s mother. She was quite beautiful, but years of work and despair had etched deep lines in her face. In one of his few moments of confidence, Jesse had explained that his father had left them when he and Bettina were children, and that Jordan’s father hadn’t been much better. He’d gambled away any money the family earned. It had almost been a relief when he died. Though Jesse hadn’t said it, April had gained the impression that his paycheck had long been his family’s main source of income.

Which was why April’s comments had been doubly unfair.

“Jesse isn’t here,” his mother said warily. “He’s… at work.”

“But he’s not at the mill,” April protested. “I’ve tried to find him there.”

“Miss Hollis, he’s left Rock Springs for another job.”

“What job? Where?”

“I don’t know.” The door began to close.

“No, wait. Please.” April thrust her hand against the paint-chipped panels of the door. “You must know. I need to find him.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help you.” She pushed the door shut, softly and firmly.

April stood, staring in disbelief. He doesn’t want to see me, she realized. He told his mother about me! He told her he doesn’t want to see me!

She drove aimlessly, tears filling her throat. Where was Jesse? He’d certainly quit his job in an awful hurry.
Because of me?
she asked herself, consumed with remorse. Would Jesse have made such a drastic move just because they’d had a fight?

Deep down April was afraid their altercation was more than a simple fight. She’d wounded him where it hurt the most. She’d made him feel inferior. She was afraid he might never forgive her.

Carrie stopped by after dinner; it was the first time she’d visited in weeks. April was so glad to see her that she felt like crying, which was absurd. “Phillip and I are leaving the end of next week,” Carrie said happily, once they were ensconced in April’s bedroom. “We’re both going to U of O.”

“That’s great.” University of Oregon was only two hours away from Rock Springs.

“What about… Lance?” Carrie asked cautiously.

“I don’t know. I think he’s going there, too.”

“And you’re still headed for UCLA?”

April lay down on her bed, curling up in a ball. Her head ached and she felt strange. “I guess.”

“You can always change and come with us,” Carrie said hopefully. “Come on, April. Think how much fun we would have.”

April didn’t answer. All she wanted to do these days would lie around and cry. As if her miserable thoughts couldn’t be contained any longer, her eyes started burning and two tears squeezed out between the lids.

“April, what’s wrong?” Carrie asked, shocked.

“I don’t know. I feel awful.” She swiped at the tears and turned away. “I hurt Jesse’s feelings and now he’s gone. Disappeared.”

A telling silence followed. April had confided she cared about Jesse, but Carrie’s sheer horror had made further confidence impossible.

“Have you tried emailing him? Or texting him?”

“I’ve tried everything, but he’s like a black hole.”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Carrie said lightly. “I mean, April, he’s not your type.”

He’s not your type.
She was tired of people telling her Jesse was not her type. Or that he wasn’t good enough. Or motivated enough. Or
rich
enough.

She was tired of everything.

After Carrie left, April went straight to bed. When she woke up the next morning, she took three steps across the floor, then ran for the bathroom, where she heaved and heaved until she was exhausted. I’m sick, she thought with relief. That’s what’s wrong.