The Price of Deception (18 page)

“I have no children,” he painfully replied. “My
wife is barren. I have tried to impregnate her, and for five years
she has failed to produce.”

“Oh, Robert, I’m so sorry. Your wife must be
heartbroken,” Suzette whispered, compassionately.

“My wife?” Robert stood to his feet, irritated
that Suzette felt an ounce of sympathy for his wife. He walked to
the window and paused momentarily, while he considered what to
reveal to Suzette about his life. After a few moments of
reflection, he turned to face her and released a long, drawn-out
sigh of disappointment.

“My wife is not the woman I love. She never has been.
She never will be. Our marriage is one of convenience for our
families. I hold no endearment toward her or any passion, though I
am disappointed she has not given me an heir.”

“Is that all you care about, Robert, producing an
heir?”

The comment burned. He looked at Suzette in disbelief
that she had accused him of being shallow and heartless. Did she
not know him?

“He’s my son. I have a right to know and love my
own flesh and blood.”

Suzette jumped to her feet, clearly agitated over his
claim. “And had I told you that I was pregnant, what would you have
done? Send me away? Send the baby away to be raised by another?
Would you have acknowledged a bastard son in your lineage?”

“I don’t know what I would have done,” he admitted.
He took a few hasty steps in her direction and then stopped. “You
made the decision for me, Suzette, and that was wrong.” He paused
realizing it probably hadn’t been entirely her decision. Her
conniving husband had clearly influenced her actions.

“Philippe told you to do it, didn’t he? He promised
to marry you to save you from the shame of being an unwed mother
and convinced you that it was the best course of action. The ideal
deception on his part and retribution in his mind for my taking
your virginity. I took what was his; now he has taken what is
rightfully mine!”

Robert looked at Suzette with deep longing. He eased
forward until he stood a mere foot away from her face. Immediately,
the aroma of her perfume wafted up his nostrils, igniting the
remembrance of her scent. It had not changed. Suzette’s auburn
tresses were hidden beneath her hat. Her shawl had slipped from her
left shoulder and drooped down to her waist. She shivered before
him in anger and cold.

The rage drained from his body, and in its place
ignited irrepressible love. Gently, he reached down to the fallen
edge of her shawl and lifted it up to her shoulder. His eyes lazily
crawled across her swan-like neck, up her jaw line, and rested on
her quivering lips. He wanted to kiss her, but instead he gazed
affectionately into her eyes and lost himself in the woman he
loved.

“Do you remember the first time I kissed you?” he
asked, in a tender velvet tone. “How sweet and perfect our lips
formed to each other?”

Suzette rapidly lowered her gaze from his, clearly
distressed over the closeness of his body.

“Yes, I remember,” she exhaled, softly in return. “I
have never forgotten you were my first, just as you asked.”

Suzette looked back into his eyes, and he saw in them
her own repressed affections. Robert lowered his head in response
and molded his mouth upon the soft flesh of her lips. At first, she
resisted his advances and balled her fists against his chest. As
the kiss progressed, Suzette weakened in his arms, unable to fight
the inevitable. The longer he drank of his beloved, the more she
responded until her arms reached around his neck. She clung to him
tightly and kissed him passionately in return.

Robert released her lips and entreated her
passionately. “Tell me that you still love me, darling. Tell me the
words I so long to hear.” Before she could answer, he kissed her
again and pressed his body flush against her warm and curvaceous
frame.

He wanted take her like he had done so many times
before. It would be easy to scoop her up in his arms and carry her
to his suite upstairs. There, they could rekindle the fire and
passion of their lovemaking, which he sorely hungered to regain. He
ached for her flesh. His body throbbed and demanded release. In a
moment, he’d lose all sense of decency if he didn’t stop his
desperate pursuit.

Robert freed her and stepped back to put distance
between them. “Tell me,” he begged. “Tell me you love me still.”
Never before had he felt such desperation of soul. The deep need to
hear her confession of love overwhelmed his emotions.

Suzette slowly lifted her eyes and looked at him in
return. “You know I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, but
I’m married, Robert. What future is there for the two of us? You
are bound; I am bound. Our lives are forever separated by civil and
religious laws over which we have no control, nor any way of
breaking.”

She paused and then cried her remorse. “I cannot and
will not return to being your mistress and be unfaithful to
Philippe. It’s wrong! Do not ask me to do such a thing. We must
think of little Robert. I cannot bring such shame upon his life.”
Suzette gasped in a soft sob that broke Robert’s heart.

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands,
wiping her tears away with his thumbs. She leaned her right cheek
deep into the palm of his hand and rested it there for comfort.

“I would not ask you to be my mistress, Suzette.
However, I do not know what tomorrow will bring to either of us.
Divorce is difficult for me to obtain, even in my station of life
in England. The laws of France are no different for you. Adultery
is the only way to break the bonds. Either we commit it together,
or our spouses must commit it, so that we have grounds for cause. I
doubt my wife would stray from our marriage bed. She only wants one
thing of me—my seed.”

Suzette continued to cry. Robert reached into his
pocket and pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her tears.

“I cannot leave Philippe. I just bore our daughter,
Angelique! She is but two months old!”

“No doubt she looks like her beautiful mother,”
Robert comforted.

Suzette inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to
control her emotions. “I’m sorry for being so emotional. Seeing you
has resurrected so many things in my heart, Robert. I will be
ruined forever because of this.”

“No, no,” Robert consoled. “Let us hope only good
will come of it, though I dare say I have no answers.”

Suzette calmed, and Robert dared to ask. “May I see
him?”

“You mean our son?”

“Yes, I wish to talk to him and know him, Suzette.
Please.”

“I cannot,” she replied, with indignant protection.
“Philippe would forbid it.”

“But Philippe is gone for two months. He’ll never
know. Besides, he’s my son—not Philippe’s.

Suzette’s brow furrowed over Robert’s comment. “How
do you know he’s gone?”

“Because I sent him away,” he confessed, displaying
an audacious air. “I am the anonymous investor that saved his
business from bankruptcy.”

“That was you?” Suzette pulled away from Robert in
astonishment.

“Yes, of course. Who else would have rescued you once
again from destitution? I could not see that happen to you or the
lad. It angered me that your husband could not provide, so I
stepped in and did so myself.”

“I never thought you a manipulative man, Robert
Holland, but now I see who you really are.”

“Suzette, I don’t understand your anger toward me. I
thought you would at least be thankful.”

“Thankful? Did you wish me to be indebted to you once
again for my life, so that you could take advantage of me and my
son?”

“Our
son,” he corrected her once more, with a
scowl on his face. “You seem to forget that the boy is as much mine
as he is yours.”

“Take me home!” Suzette demanded.

“Not until you agree to allow me to see Robert. I
have my rights as the boy’s father.”

“No. I will not until I have discussed it with
Philippe.”

“Suzette, you are being unreasonable. Don’t force me
to take steps to assert my authority. If need be, I will, no matter
what the cost to me personally or socially. You need not tell the
boy I’m his father, if that’s what you’re worried about. Since
we’ve already met, you can just say I’m an old friend.”

“It’s not that simple,” she protested.

“It’s very simple.” Robert firmly grabbed her hand.
“Don’t deny me.”

“Don’t threaten me.”

Exasperated, Robert quickly released Suzette’s hand.
He struggled with her unexpected stubbornness. Truth be told, she
had changed—the naïve woman he had met five years earlier no longer
existed. Time had tremendously changed her. Headstrong and
determined, Robert did not know how far he should push the matter.
If he needed to, he could write to Edmund to give directions to his
land manager to stall the deal as long as possible. It would be
easy to keep Philippe out of the picture indefinitely, to bide time
to woo Suzette back into his life.

Another obstacle loomed before him though—that of his
wife. He had told Jacquelyn that he would not be in Paris long. If
he delayed, she could very well complicate or muddle his plans by
posting a demand he return home.

“I had thought a few moments ago that we still shared
the same sentiments, Suzette. My confession of love to you is quite
real, and you have confessed to me that your heart remains mine.
Why must you deny me?” His face flashed his disappointment. “I only
want to see him, and then I’ll return to England. Will that make
you happy?”

Suzette appeared to struggle over his plea, and
Robert prayed inwardly she would relent.

“All right,” she finally responded. “If Philippe
finds out, though, I shall pay for it dearly.” “He need not know.
I’m sure you can counsel little Robert into some deception, since
he already played along with his stepfather in the ruse of telling
me that you had passed away.”

“How awful I must seem to you, Robert—a liar,
deceiver, and thief, for that matter.”

“And I to you, Suzette—a manipulative man who would
do anything to be with the woman he loves and the son she bore him.
I’m not without my own faults.”

Robert pulled her toward his body and tenderly
embraced her once again. It felt glorious to have her in his arms,
but disappointment shrouded his heart. He had set his expectations
far too lofty, believing their reunion would be far more glorious
than it had been.

Since the day they parted, he had fantasized about
Suzette, worshipped her in his dreams, and longed for her in his
soul. Their moments together were strained and emotional. A future
together seemed impossible. Why had he pursued it thus far? Robert
questioned his wisdom. Perhaps he should not have involved himself
in her life again. It was underhanded, but he could not turn away
from pursuing the truth about his son.

“I should be going home. The staff will worry over my
delayed absence.”

Robert released her from his embrace. “Yes, of
course, I understand.”

“I was thinking, Robert, that perhaps we can arrange
to meet in the gardens for a walk. We could make the encounter look
innocent enough by bumping into each other. I do not think little
Robert would see it as something planned or worth mentioning to
Philippe upon his return. Would that suffice?”

“Yes,” he enthusiastically replied, with a broad
smile on his face. “When shall we meet?”

“Would 11 o’clock tomorrow morning be agreeable?”

“I’ll be there. I’ll walk through the west entrance
toward the fountain and shall look for you there.”

“Your son loves the fountain, so I’m sure he’ll be
delighted.” A warm smile spread across Suzette’s face.

Robert relished the moment. He would see her again
and spend time with his son. The thought thrilled his soul to think
that soon he would look upon the lad once more and know that the
boy belonged to him. He had an heir.

The carriage returned, and Robert accompanied Suzette
back to her residence. As she climbed down with the help of the
driver, he looked upon her with love. Abruptly, the front door to
her residence swung open, and a man stood in the entranceway. His
face appeared delighted over the return of Suzette, and Robert
surmised it must be the butler.

The man glanced curiously at the carriage. Robert
hastily grabbed the door and slammed it shut. He sat back in his
seat, hopefully unnoticed. Tomorrow he would see Suzette again and
gaze upon his son. Joy flooded his soul.

Chapter Fifteen

“Madame, we were quite worried about you!” exclaimed
Monsieur Leroy, as he held open the door.

“You shouldn’t have been,” Suzette replied, with a
slight hint of irritation. She heard the carriage behind her leave,
but did not turn around, afraid she’d cause undue suspicion. “I was
fine. It just took me a bit longer when I got caught in the
downpour of rain.”

“Yes, it was coming down quite hard,” he agreed.
Before he closed the door completely, he glanced at the departing
growler. “You seemed to have found shelter,” he added.

“Yes, I did, as a matter of fact.” She said nothing
more to continue the conversation and turned around to walk
upstairs. “I’ll be in my room. You can tell the cook I’m not hungry
for lunch today. Just make sure Robert eats.”

“Yes, Madame, of course.”

Suzette briskly climbed the stairs and headed toward
her bedchamber. She couldn’t wait to lock herself behind a closed
door and release the repressed emotions about to burst from her
soul. Suzette pulled her shawl off her shoulders and flung it over
the back of a chair. She fiddled with the pins of her hat until
they finally released their secure hold in the braids of her
hair.

For a brief moment, she didn’t know what to do. After
eyeing the bed that seemed to invite her arrival, she walked over
to it and sat on the edge. Suzette noticed a lingering tremor in
her body movements from the shock of seeing Robert. She swung her
legs onto the bed and laid her head on the pillow. Her hand shook
when she brought the back of it up to her forehead and covered her
eyes. As soon as she did, her mind sank into an ambiance of
memories.