The Practice of Godliness: Godliness has value for all things (22 page)
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Authors: Jerry Bridges
BOOK: The Practice of Godliness: Godliness has value for all things
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Gentleness
The fruit of the Spirit is ... gentleness.
Galatians 5:22-23
Clothe yourselves with... gentleness.
Colossians 3:12
We pray for patience, we pray for love, we pray for purity and self-control. But who of us ever prays for the grace of gentleness? Writing in the year 1839, George Bethune said, “Perhaps no grace is less prayed for, or less cultivated than gentleness. Indeed it is considered rather as belonging to natural disposition or external manners, than as a Christian virtue; and seldom do we reflect that not to be gentle is sin.”
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The Christian attitude toward gentleness does not seem to have changed in the more than 140 years since Bethune penned those words. I once asked a coworker in our own ministry if he was aware of anyone who was praying for or seeking to cultivate gentleness. He thought for a moment, and said no. This is not to say that the grace of gentleness is entirely absent from the Christian community; but perhaps we don’t value it as highly as God values it.
Gentleness is somewhat difficult to define, because it is often confused with meekness, which is another Christian virtue that we should pursue. Billy Graham defines gentleness as “mildness in dealing with others ... it displays a sensitive regard for others and is careful never to be unfeeling for the rights of others.”
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Gentleness is an active trait, describing the manner in which we should treat others. Meekness is a passive trait, describing the proper Christian response when others mistreat us.
2
Gentleness is an active trait, describing the manner in which we should treat others. Meekness is a passive trait, describing the proper Christian response when others mistreat us.
Gentleness is illustrated by the way we would handle a carton of exquisite crystal glasses; it is the recognition that the human personality is valuable but fragile, and must be handled with care.
Both gentleness and meekness are born of power, not weakness. There is a pseudo-gentleness that is effeminate, and there is a pseudo-meekness that is cowardly. But a Christian is to be gentle and meek because those are Godlike virtues. Isaiah 40 is a chapter that describes both the power and the tenderness of God:
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power.... (verse 10)
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust. (verse 15)
“To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:Who created all these?He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. (verses 25-26)
Tucked in the middle of this description of God’s power are these words:
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young. (verse 11)
The same passage that stresses the infiniteness of God’s power also beautifully portrays His gentleness. What better illustrates gentleness than a shepherd carrying his lambs close to his heart? Yet the Holy Spirit uses this word picture, framed with illustrations of sovereign power, to describe God. We should never be afraid, therefore, that the gentleness of the Spirit means weakness of character. It takes strength, God’s strength, to be truly gentle.
An interesting and enlightening variation between translations of a phrase in Psalm 18:35 helps define true gentleness. The
New American Standard Bible
and the
King James Version
translate David’s declaration, “Thy
gentleness
makes me great.” The
New International Version
renders it, “You
stoop down
to make me great.” Gentleness is stooping down to help someone. God continually stoops down to help us, and He wants us to do the same-to be sensitive to the rights and feelings of others.
New American Standard Bible
and the
King James Version
translate David’s declaration, “Thy
gentleness
makes me great.” The
New International Version
renders it, “You
stoop down
to make me great.” Gentleness is stooping down to help someone. God continually stoops down to help us, and He wants us to do the same-to be sensitive to the rights and feelings of others.
THE GENTLENESS OF CHRIST
Paul appealed to the Corinthian Christians “by the meekness and gentleness of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:1). How does the New Testament describe the gentleness of Christ?
A familiar passage provides a picture of Christ’s gentleness:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-29)
William Hendriksen says that the Syriac New Testament translates the word
gentle
as “restful”; accordingly Jesus’ expression is, “Come to me ... and I will rest you ... for I am
restful ...
and you shall find
rest
for yourselves.”
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Christ’s whole demeanor was such that people were often restful in His presence. This effect is another outworking of the grace of gentleness. People are at rest, or at ease, around the Christian who is truly gentle.
gentle
as “restful”; accordingly Jesus’ expression is, “Come to me ... and I will rest you ... for I am
restful ...
and you shall find
rest
for yourselves.”
3
Christ’s whole demeanor was such that people were often restful in His presence. This effect is another outworking of the grace of gentleness. People are at rest, or at ease, around the Christian who is truly gentle.
Matthew 12:20 gives us another picture of the gentleness with which Christ treats us: “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.” The bruised reed and the smoldering wick refer to people who are hurting, spiritually weak, or of little faith. Jesus deals gently with such people. He does not condemn them for their weakness; He does not come down with a “heavy hand”; rather, He deals with them gently until their true need is exposed and they are open to Him for help. How beautifully His encounter with the Samaritan woman illustrates His gentleness. Firmly, yet gently, Jesus continued to probe her need until she recognized it herself and turned to Him to meet it.
In the very act of his appeal to the Corinthians by “the meekness and gentleness of Christ,” Paul illustrated that gentleness for us. We could paraphrase his remarks as, “Acting as Christ would act in this situation I appeal to you. I do not demand; I do not insist, but I
appeal
to you.” Paul could have berated the Corinthians for allowing into their fellowship those who sought to undermine his apostolic authority, but he didn’t; instead, he chose to exercise the Spirit-produced fruit of gentleness.
appeal
to you.” Paul could have berated the Corinthians for allowing into their fellowship those who sought to undermine his apostolic authority, but he didn’t; instead, he chose to exercise the Spirit-produced fruit of gentleness.
When Paul wrote to the Philippians, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus,” he was specifically referring to Christ’s humility; but we can apply this command to all of Christ’s character traits. As His followers, we should cultivate the same gentleness that characterized His life.
TREATING OTHERS GENTLY
A profile of gentleness as it should appear in our lives will first include actively seeking to make others feel at ease, or “restful,” in our presence. We should not be so strongly opinionated or dogmatic that others are afraid to express their opinions in our presence. Instead, we should be sensitive to others’ opinions and ideas. We should also avoid displaying our commitment to Christian discipleship in such a way as to make others feel guilty, taking care not to break the bruised reed of the hurting Christian or snuff out the smoldering wick of the immature Christian.
Second, gentleness will demonstrate respect for the personal dignity of the other person. Where necessary, it will seek to change a wrong opinion or attitude by persuasion and kindness, not by domination or intimidation. It will studiously avoid coercion by threatening, either directly or indirectly (as Paul, for example, avoided it in his appeal to the Corinthians).
Gentleness will also avoid blunt speech and an abrupt manner, instead seeking to answer everyone with sensitivity and respect, ready to show consideration toward all. The gentle Christian does not feel he has the liberty to “say what I think and let the chips fall where they may.” Instead he is sensitive to the reactions of others to his words, and considerate of how others may feel about what he says. When he finds it necessary to wound with his words, he also seeks to bind up those wounds with words of consolation and encouragement.
The gentle Christian will not feel threatened by opposition or resent those who oppose him. Instead, he will seek to gently instruct, looking to God to dissolve the opposition, just as Paul taught Timothy to do in chapter 2 of his second letter.
Finally, the gentle Christian will not degrade or belittle or gossip about the brother who falls into some sin. Instead he will grieve for him and pray for his repentance. If it is appropriate for him to become personally involved with the erring brother, he will seek to restore him gently, as Paul instructs us in Galatians 6, aware that he himself is also subject to temptation.
The Christian who truly seeks to obey God through gentle character will actively pursue gentleness, striving to clothe himself with it (see Colossians 3:12 and 1 Timothy 6:11). He will place this godly virtue high on his list of spiritual traits and look to God the Holy Spirit to produce this fruit in his life.
TREATING OTHERS CONSIDERATELY
There is a trait closely related to gentleness that should also characterize the godly Christian who is seeking to manifest the fruit of the Spirit in his life. I have chosen to call it
considerateness,
although according to the commentators, the scriptural term requires several English words to bring out the fullness of its meaning. It appears in Philippians 4:5: “Let your
gentleness
be evident to all.” In the
New International Version
it is always translated as
gentleness
or
considerateness
(see Philippians 4:5, 1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 3:2, and James 3:17). The
New American Standard Bible
also uses
gentleness
or
considerateness,
except in Philippians 4:5, where it uses the
term forbearing spirit.
considerateness,
although according to the commentators, the scriptural term requires several English words to bring out the fullness of its meaning. It appears in Philippians 4:5: “Let your
gentleness
be evident to all.” In the
New International Version
it is always translated as
gentleness
or
considerateness
(see Philippians 4:5, 1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 3:2, and James 3:17). The
New American Standard Bible
also uses
gentleness
or
considerateness,
except in Philippians 4:5, where it uses the
term forbearing spirit.
William Hendriksen says a number of synonyms are necessary to show the broad meaning of this word: yieldedness, reasonableness, big-heartedness, geniality, considerateness.
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James Adamson uses the word humane in his commentary on James and says it describes “the man who is fair, considerate and generous rather than rigid and exacting in his relations with others.... It is contrasted with ‘strict justice’ and is used of judges who do not press the letter of the law ... It is also used of people who listen to reason.”
5
W E. Vine says it is “the trait that enables us to look humanely and reasonably at the facts of a case ... not insisting on the letter of the law.”
6
4
James Adamson uses the word humane in his commentary on James and says it describes “the man who is fair, considerate and generous rather than rigid and exacting in his relations with others.... It is contrasted with ‘strict justice’ and is used of judges who do not press the letter of the law ... It is also used of people who listen to reason.”
5
W E. Vine says it is “the trait that enables us to look humanely and reasonably at the facts of a case ... not insisting on the letter of the law.”
6
The Pharisees, rigid in their absolute adherence to tradition, perfectly demonstrated the opposite of considerateness. They were always asking, “Is it lawful?” They never asked, “Is it kind or reasonable?” Jesus was always getting into trouble with the Pharisees because He constantly broke away from their rigid traditions and, in many cases, exposed their utter absurdity.
The considerate Christian listens to reason and is fair-minded and humane. Instead of insisting on the letter of the law, he asks, “What is the right thing to do in this situation?” This kind of thinking should not be confused, however, with the humanistic philosophy that says, “If it feels right, do it.” That philosophy is entirely self-centered and focuses on one’s carnal desires. Considerateness, on the other hand, focuses on the other individual and asks, “What is best for him?”
Paul’s admonition in Philippians 4:5 provides the proper motivation for a considerate attitude. “Let your gentleness (or considerateness) be evident to all. The Lord is near.” We might rephrase it, “The Lord is standing at my shoulder, waiting to see how I will handle the various relationships I have with people today. Will I be rigid and exacting in my demands of them? Or will I be gentle and considerate, seeking to understand the pressures and insecurities they face and making allowances accordingly?” We are to show consideration to all— the store clerk, the bus driver, family members, nonChristians as well as Christians.
I fear that all too often we Christians may be less humane and considerate than nonbelievers. We think we are standing on principle when in reality we may be only insisting on our opinion. How do others see us? Do we appear to be rigid, unyielding, and inflexible, or do we come across as genial, reasonable, and humane in our relationships with other people? The Pharisees of Jesus’ day had encrusted God’s commands with their own traditions. Let us be careful to avoid doing the same thing.
The trait of considerateness is one of the characteristics of heavenly wisdom (see James 3:17). If we want to be wise in God’s eyes, we must cultivate this trait of reasonableness and geniality
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