The Poor Mouth (13 page)

‘The late Leo,’ Cardinal Baldini said, ‘was at home with kings and princes and rejoiced in art and the higher learning. Of course his
Rerum Novarum
was a great thing for the labouring classes. But the man you are going to meet is the Pope of the Poor and the humble. In any way he can help them, he always does.’

‘Is that a fact?’ Collopy said.

I thought of the miracle we were hoping for concerning his weight. But he had yet been told nothing of that.

We came to a door and entered a beautiful room. This was the ante-room to the Pope’s study. The Cardinal bade us wait and passed through another door. The place was delightfully peaceful. After some minutes the other door opened and the Cardinal beckoned to us. We allowed Collopy, slowly progressing on his stick, to lead the way, myself in the middle and Father Fahrt last.

The Holy Father was seated behind a desk, with Monsignor Cahill sitting some distance to his right. Pius X was smallish, rather thin and looked fairly old. He smiled thinly at us, rose and came round to meet us. We knelt and kissed the Fisherman’s Ring and heard his voice raised in Latin as he imparted what I suppose was the apostolic benediction.

He then went back to his seat behind the desk while the pilgrims and the Cardinal advanced to chairs facing it. I chose a chair far to the side, for I did not want to make any remarks or have any questions addressed to me. I noticed that Monsignor Cahill had paper and a pencil ready.

The Pope said something in Italian to Mr Collopy and Monsignor Cahill instantly translated, also rapidly translating his reply back into Italian.

THE
POPE
—How do things fare in your country, beloved Ireland?

COLLOPY
—Only middling, Your Holiness. The British are still there.

THE
POPE
—And is the country not prosperous?

COLLOPY
—I do not think so, Your Holiness, for there is much unemployment in Dublin.

THE
POPE
—Ah, that grieves our heart.

FATHER
FAHRT
(in Italian)—Some of the Irish tend to be a bit indolent, Sanctissime Pater, but their faith is perhaps the strongest in Christendom. I am a German and have seen nothing like it in Germany. It is inspiring.

THE
POPE
—Ireland was ever dear to our heart. She is a blessed country. Her missionaries are everywhere.

(After a little more desultory conversation Mr Collopy said something in a low voice which I did not catch. Monsignor Cahill instantly translated. The Pope seemed startled. Mr Collopy then made a much longer mumbled speech which was also quickly translated. I am indebted to Monsignor Cahill for a transcription of the Pope’s remarks, which were in Latin and Italian, and the translation is also largely his.)

COLLOPY
spoke

THE
POPE

Che cosa sta dicendo questo poveretto?

What is this poor child trying to say?

MONSIGNOR CAHILL
Spoke.

THE POPE

E tocco? Nonnunquam urbis nostrae visitentium capitibus affert vaporem. Dei praesidium hujus infantis amantissimi invocare velimus.

Is this child in his senses? Sometimes the heat of our city brings a vapour into the heads. We invoke God’s protection for a beloved child.

COLLOPY
spoke again.

MONSIGNOR CAHILL
Spoke.

THE POPE

Ho paura che abbiate fatto un errore, Eminenza, nel potar qui questo pio uomo. Mi sembra che sia un po’ tocco. Forse gli manca una rotella. Ha sbagliato indirizzo? Non siamo medici che curano il corpo.

Dear Cardinal, I fear you have made a mistake in bringing this pious man to see us. I fear the Lord has lead a finger on him. We would not say that his head is working properly. Can it be that he is the wrong place? We are not a doctor for the body.

FATHER
FAHRT
Spoke.

THE
POPE

Ma questo è semplicemente mostruoso. Neque hoc nostrum officium cum concilii urbani officio est con-fundendum.

But this is monstrous. Nor should our office be confused with that of a city council.

CARDINAL BALDINI
Spoke.

THE POPE

Nobis presentibus istud dici indignum est. Num consilium istud inusitatum rationis legibus continetur? Nunquam nos ejusmodi quicquam audivimus.

It is a derogation of our presence. Does such an unheard-of suggestion lie within reason? We have never heard of such a thing before.

COLLOPY
mumbled something.

MONSIGNOR
CAHILL
Spoke.

THE
POPE

Graviter commovemur ista tam mira observatione ut de tanta re sententiam dicamus. Intra hos parietes dici dedecet. Hic enim est locus sacer.

We are deeply troubled by such a strange supplication for our intervention on such a question. It is improper that such a matter should be mentioned within these walls. This is a sacred place.

CARDINAL
BALDINI
spoke in Italian.

THE
POPE

Non possiamo accettare scuse e pretesti. II Reverendo Fahrt ha sbagliato. Ci da grande dolore.

We cannot accept pretexts and excuses. Father Fahrt has lapsed. He Jills us with sorrow.

FATHER
FAHRT
spoke in Italian.

THE
POPE

Non possiamo accettare ciò. Sembra ci siaunrilassamento nella disciplina nella Società di Gestù in Irlanda. Seil Padre Provinciale non agisce, dovremo noi stessi far tacere il Reverendo Fahrt.

We do not accept that at all. There seems to be a weakness of discipline in the Society of Jesus in Ireland. If Father Provincial in Ireland does not move, we will silence Father Fahrt ourselves.

COLLOPY
mumbled something.

MONSIGNOR
CAHILL
spoke.

CARDINAL
BALDINI
spoke in Italian.

THE
POPE

È inutile parlarne. Quest’ uomo soffre di allucinazionie di ossessioni, e è stato condotto su questa via del Reverendo Fahrt. Come abbiamo già detto, tutto questo ci rattrista profondamente, Cardinale.

It is no good. This man is suffering from serious delusions and obsessions and he is being encouraged in this disorder by Father Fahrt. As we have said, it brings sorrow to our heart, Cardinal.

CARDINAL
BALDINI
Spoke.

THE
POPE

Homo miserrimus in valetudinario a medico curandus est.

This poor man needs attention in hospital.

CARDINAL
BALDINI
spoke again.

THE
POPE

Bona mulier fons gratiae. Attamen ipsae in parvularum rerum suarum occupationibus verrentur. Nos de tantulis rebus consulere non decet.

A good woman is a fountain of grace. But it is themselves whom they should busy about their private little affairs. It is not seemly to consult us on such matters.

CARDINAL
BALDINI
spoke yet again.

THE
POPE

Forsitan poena leviora ille Reverendus Fahrt adduci possit ut et sui sit memor et quae sacerdotis sint partes intellegere.

Perhaps a milder penance will bring Father Fahrt to recollect himself and have true regard to his holy duties.

The Pope then rose and the members of the audience also rose.

THE POPE

Nobis nune abeundum esse videtur. Illud modo ex liberis meis quaero ut de iis cogiteat quae exposui.

I think we should now retire. I ask my children to meditate upon the thoughts we have voiced.

The Holy Father then made the Sign of the Cross, and disappeared through a door behind him.

We silently filed out through the ante-room, Cardinal Baldini walking ahead with Father Fahrt, the two of them talking together quietly. At the time I had no idea, of course, what the subject of the audience had been or what had been said in Latin or Italian by the Pope. It was only when I interviewed Monsignor Cahill the following day that I got the information I have set down here. I asked him what the
subject
of Mr Collopy’s representations were. He said he had given his word of honour that he would not disclose this to anybody.

My progress at Mr Collopy’s side in the Vatican corridors was slow and tedious. No miracle had cured his fabulous weight. I suppose there was still time.

I
WAS
lying in bed one morning, having already decided I would not go to school that day and thinking that perhaps I would never go back to it. The brother’s last extraordinary letter about the Holy Father and Father Fahrt had contained a cheque for twenty-five pounds. I had already trained Annie to bring me some breakfast in bed and was lying there at my ease, smoking and thinking. I could hear men shouting at horses on the tow-path, hauling a barge. It was amazing how quickly life changed. The brother’s legacy of £5,000 was a miracle in itself, and another miracle was his feat in founding a new sort of university in London. Then you had the three of them inside the Vatican arguing with the Holy Father himself. It would not surprise me if the brother turned out to be appointed Governor of Rome or even came home in the purple of a cardinal, for I knew that in the old days it was common for Popes to appoint mere children to be cardinals. I thought I would join the brother in London. Even if his business did not suit me, there would be plenty of other jobs to be had there. Suddenly Annie came into the room and handed me an orange envelope. It was a cablegram.

COLLOPY
DEAD
AND
FUNERAL
IS

TOMORROW
HERE
IN
ROME
AM
WRITING

I nearly fell out of the bed. Annie stood staring at me.

–Seemingly they are on their way home? she asked.

–Em, yes, I stammered. They will probably take the short route home direct to London. The brother’s business, you know.

–Isn’t it well for them, she said, to be globe-trotting and gallivanting?

–It can be very tiring.

–Ah yes, but look at the money they have. Isn’t it well for them?

She went away and I lay there, quite desolated—I who had been reflecting on the amazing suddenness with which life changed. I had lied automatically to Annie and only now realized that the dead man was her father. I lit another cigarette and realized that I had no idea what I should do. What
could
I do?

After a time I got up and hung disconsolately about the house for a time. Annie had gone out, presumably to buy food. I was completely in a quandary about breaking the bad news to her. How would she take it? That question was quite beyond me. I thought a couple of good bottles of stout would do me no harm. I was about to pull on my overcoat when I paused, pulled out the cable again and stared at it. Then I did what I suppose was something cowardly. I put the thing on the kitchen table and walked quickly out of the house. I crossed over the canal at Baggot Street Bridge and was soon sitting in a pub looking at a bottle of stout.

I was not yet really in the habit of heavy drinking but this time I was there for many, many hours trying desperately to think clearly. I had not much success. When I did leave it was nearly three o’clock and I had six stouts under my arm when I staggered home.

There was nobody there. The cablegram was gone and in its place a note saying
THERE
IS
SOMETHING
IN
THE
OVEN
. I found a chop and some other things and began to eat. Annie had friends of her own and probably had gone to one of them. It was just as well. I felt enormously heavy and sleepy. Carefully gathering my stouts, a glass and a corkscrew, I went up to bed and soon fell headlong into a deep, sodden sleep. It was early morning when I awoke. I pulled a stout and lit a cigarette. Gradually, the affairs of the preceding day came back to me.

When Annie arrived with breakfast (for which I had little taste) her eyes were very red. She had been crying a lot but she was collected and calm.

–I am very sorry, Annie, I said.

–Why did they not bring him home to bury him here with my mother?

–I do not know. I am waiting for a letter.

–How well they wouldn’t think even of me.

–I am sure they did the best they could in the circumstances.

–Seemingly.

The next three or four days were very grim. There was almost total silence in the house. Neither of us could think of anything to say. I went out a bit and drank some stout but not much. In the end a letter did arrive from the brother. This is what he had to say:

‘My cablegram must have been a great shock to you, to say nothing of Annie. Let me tell you what happened.

‘After the Vatican rumpus, Father Fahrt and Collopy, but particularly Collopy, were very depressed. I was busy thinking about getting back to London and my business. Father Fahrt thought that some distraction and uplift were called for and booked two seats for a violin recital in a small hall near the hotel. He foolishly booked the most expensive seats without making sure they were not in an upstairs gallery. They were, and approached by a narrow wooden stairs. This concert was in the afternoon. Halfway up the first flight of stairs there was a small landing. Collopy painfully led the way up with his stick and the aid of the banister, Father Fahrt keeping behind to save him if he overbalanced and fell backwards. When Collopy got to this landing and stepped on to the middle of it, there was a rending, splintering crash, the whole floor collapsed and with a terrible shriek, Collopy disappeared through the gaping hole. There was a sickening thud and more noise of breakage as he hit bottom. Poor Father Fahrt was distracted, rushed down, alerted the doorman, got the manager and other people and had a message sent to me at the hotel.