The Pledge (17 page)

Doug and I both groaned, and I buried my face in his chest. I stayed there for a few minutes, thinking about our relationship. Doug was goofy and a bit of a sloppy drunk, but he made me feel good about myself. The problem was, I wanted to feel passion and love. I didn’t have that with Doug. I wasn’t sure I ever would. I didn’t want to have sex just because it felt like the time had come or because of some twisted sense of obligation to him. The last thing I wanted to do, though, was to hurt him. He was my friend, and he mattered to me.

“I’m sorry. I care about you, Pickles. You know I do. Give me some more time to figure myself out, okay?” I picked my head up, resting my hands on his chest and saw that my Whistler was sound asleep.

***

“I broke up with Damien.” Julie sipped her Frappuccino and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

Slowing my pace, I blew on my own coffee before taking a drink. “You really liked him. What happened?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Julie grinned mischievously.

“Of course, we’ll believe you. Spill it.” Alexis leaned over me, narrowing her eyes to glare at Julie.

“He took a selfie.”

Alexis stopped walking. “And? You take selfies every day.”

Julie turned to face Alexis, and I crossed my arms over my chest, watching the show.

“He took a selfie at the
wrong
time.” Julie raised her eyebrows, daring us to continue our questioning.

“People make mistakes, Jules. So he took a selfie at a bad time. If you really like him, I think you could get past that.” Alexis worried about Julie all the time. She wanted to see her in a relationship with someone who cared about her, not serial dating anything that had a set of XY chromosomes and a nice head of hair.

“He took a selfie while we were having sex, Lex.”

No one spoke. We faced forward and continued walking.

“You did the right thing. Sorry about that,” Alexis mumbled.

Julie threw her arms up in the air. “Right? Thank you. What an ego-testicle prick!”

We laughed as we turned toward the Student Union where we would be meeting our assigned buddies for the first time. I couldn’t stop smiling. The satisfaction from being a part of such an important program reminded me of how proud I was when Alec and I had prepared our anti-bullying bill for the debate competition. Doing something that could actually make a difference in someone else’s life felt great.

We walked through the front doors of the conference building attached to the Union. Bright red and yellow balloons marked the doorway to the closest meeting room. A sign was perched on a tripod with the words,
Welcome to Good Buddies
in large, block lettering.

Leaving the topic of sex selfies behind, we moved into the room and found Kate standing near the doorway with a clipboard. “Ah, Taren. Great. Your buddy is waiting for you right now. He’s seated at the last table on the left. Go on over and introduce yourself.”

I headed in the direction of my buddy. Several of my sisters were already sitting with their respective buddies at small tables. Some shared cookies, pretzels, and sodas, while others looked at magazines together or sat chatting. At the last table on the left, a man was sitting alone. As I got closer, I noticed that unlike many of the other buddies, my partner didn’t have Down syndrome. If I had to guess, I’d say he was older. Perhaps in his thirties? He appeared clean cut with closely cropped hair and a freshly shaved face. I waved and a wide, beaming smile filled his face.

“I’m Taren. It’s nice to meet you.” I extended my hand, and he shook it gently.

“My name is William. Good to meet you, too.”

Pulling out a chair, I sat across from William, and he copied my movements, sitting back down.

“Thank you for being my buddy, Miss Taren.” William smiled again, and my cheeks burned from my own never-ending grin.

“I’m excited to get to know you, William. Tell me something about yourself.”

“Yup. Sure.” William looked around the room for a few seconds before speaking. “I work every day. My dad got me a job at his office. I deliver mail. I like it. It is a good job.”

“That’s great you found a job you enjoy. I worry that I won’t have the same luck when I graduate.” That was an understatement. I loved to read and write, but I wasn’t sure what career I wanted. I worried that I would graduate with a degree I couldn’t actually use.

“What do you want to do?” William pushed a plate of cookies over my way and chose a small, broken chocolate chip one for himself.

Frowning, I selected the largest cookie on the platter, a thin sugar cookie, covered in sprinkles and handed it to him. His eyes lit up, and his cheeks flushed.

I played with the napkin in front of me. I had never told this to anyone. “I want to be a writer. I’d like to write a book someday, I think.”

“Yup, yup, yup. I like books.” William nodded and took a bite of his cookie, chewing thoughtfully. “I had a dream last night.”

“You did?”

He nodded.

“What was it about?”

He swallowed and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I met a girl who looked like sunshine, and she wanted to be my friend.”

I smiled and broke off a piece of my own cookie. “Do you have many friends, William?”

“Yup. I sure do. Two, including you.” His eyes shown with warmth, and a lump rose in my throat.

Something told me William would become my own form of sunshine.

***

“Taren!”

“Get down here!”

“Hurry!”

At the sounds of my sisters’ frantic voices, I hopped off my bed and hurried down the stairs. Alexis slammed her book shut and followed behind. At the first floor landing, Julie and Kate waited, lips pressed together and eyes wide.

“What’s going on?” I pulled my hoodie on and gathered my hair into a ponytail. Half of my sisterhood was crammed into the front of the living room, climbing over one another to look outside. The other half, it appeared, filled our front porch. The front door was open, but I couldn’t see what was happening outside.

“Oh, you’ve got a big surprise out there.” Kate giggled as she took me by the hand and led me outside to the porch.

Surprise couldn’t accurately describe what I saw. The front yard of our house was full of piss-drunk members from Doug’s fraternity. What beer they hadn’t already consumed, they sprayed onto the lawn, aiming for a guy who was naked and hog-tied on the grass.

My eyes widened as I took in the scene. “God.”

Julie leaned close to my ear. “Nope. Not God. Not even close. That’s the Whistler, babe.”

I couldn’t move. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react, so I just stared. The scene before me was like a gruesome car accident. I couldn’t look away. Doug was lying on the front lawn of my sorority house, butt-ass naked, wearing nothing but his whistle. Duct tape bound his wrists and ankles, and he was covered in...everything. Ketchup, mustard, eggs, flour, pepper, beer, syrup. The entire contents of the Delta house refrigerator appeared to have been dumped on him. He was blindfolded, but yelling my name, all the while laughing and smiling the same sloppy grin that came after many, many alcoholic beverages.

“T, should I get him a sheet? To cover up?” Alexis whispered in my other ear. I nodded, wishing I could disappear and act like this had never happened. I brought my fist to my mouth, and Julie and Kate pushed me forward.

Asher moved away from the crowd, holding a gold necklace.

“Taren, our idiot brother has decided to place the highest honor we have on you. He has chosen to give you his letters. We, as the brothers of Delta Epsilon, do not take this lightly. For this reason, Pickles has been rightfully punished.”

I looked away from Asher and into Kate’s eyes. Doug was giving me his letters? My heart raced as panic filled my veins. Lavaliering was extremely rare in the Greek system. When a fraternity member allowed a girl to wear the letters he had worked so hard to earn, it was considered a sign of pre-engagement.

Pre-engagement?
Freaking balls.
What was he thinking? Didn’t he understand a thing I said to him the other night?

Kate nudged me forward, and I took the necklace from Asher. “Congratulations,” he said, grinning.

Alexis ran up with a sheet from my bed, and Doug’s brothers rolled him over, removing his blindfold. Groans and exclamations of “ewww” filled my ears. Pickles was giving the crowd a full frontal, and it didn’t appear to bother him one bit. He smiled when he saw me standing in front of him, holding his letters.

“Whaddya say, Denton? You wanted a commitment, right? I can’t do much better than this.” Doug’s brothers hauled him to his feet, and I wrapped the sheet around his shoulders, holding my breath so I didn’t have to smell him.

“Thank you.” My voice was barely a whisper. I didn’t know what to say. I never asked him for a commitment, and he’d totally put me on the spot in front of his friends and mine. This sort of declaration was supposed to make a girl happy, but I felt...embarrassed.

What was wrong with me? Doug wanted me. ME. His declaration was sweet and romantic...ish. Leaning forward he pressed his wet, sticky lips to mine, and I almost gagged when I tasted ketchup.

“I’m gonna go shower. We have poker tonight, but call me later, okay?”

I nodded and one of Doug’s largest brothers picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. My sisters filed back inside, hugging and congratulating me along the way. My feet stayed planted right where they were. I was unable to move.

“Taren?” Alexis asked softly, turning me to face her. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged.

“Do you want this with Doug? This is a serious sign of commitment. If you accept his letters, you’re basically pledging yourself to him.”

I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I stared at my feet as my mind raced and the ground tilted underneath me. What should I do? What did I want?

“Do you think you can trust him?” she asked.

My head snapped up as I looked at her. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I trust him?”

Alexis shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just that you guys have been together for a year and have never had sex.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Well he goes out partying every night, but not always with you. And when he is with you, he’s usually trying to get you naked.”

She wasn’t wrong, but what exactly was her point?

“Yeah. I trust him. He’s nice to me.” I didn’t know what else to say. What I needed was some time to think. Everything had happened so fast. I wasn’t expecting Doug to make a commitment to me, and now that it had happened, I didn’t know how I felt about it.

“I’m just saying there is something he obviously wants from you, and after all this time, he still hasn’t gotten it. Who’s to say he isn’t getting it somewhere else?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think Doug would do that. If he was getting it somewhere else, why would he still be pressuring me for it?”

“Because you’re a challenge,” Julie interjected. “Bagging a virgin is like capturing the Golden Fleece.”

“I...don’t think so. If he just wanted to have sex, why lavalier me?”

Julie shrugged. “I didn’t say it made sense. In fact, none of this makes sense.”

She was right. None of it did.

Julie stepped forward and squeezed my hand. Her voice was quiet, and she swallowed hard. “I just want to say I’m scared for you, T.”

I ran my index finger over my bottom lip. “I’m okay, Jules. I’m just a little freaked out.”

“Me too. I think I’m going to need some serious counseling after tonight,” she said. “I haven’t had a flare up in over a year, but my microphobia is back with a vengeance. One look at that tiny pecker on Pickles, and I’m shaking from head to toe. Someone hold me.” Her voice broke into peals of giggles, and we laughed until tears ran down our cheeks.

I wiped my tears away, and my stomach tightened. She was right. Unfortunately, Doug’s tiny member really was the smallest of my worries right now.

***

Alec stood up and swung his backpack onto his shoulder. I zipped my shoulder bag and moved into the aisle. “Want to work on the job application letter this weekend?” I asked Alec, as we walked out of class.

“Absolutely.” He grinned and opened the door for me.

We walked out into the sunshine, the fall wind whipping through the trees that lined the mall. I rubbed my arms, wishing I had thought to wear a jacket. “My place or yours?”

Alec cocked his head to the side and rubbed his chin. “Something tells me we’ll be able to concentrate better at my apartment than we will at your sorority house.”

Chuckling, I nodded. “Yeah, if my sisters get a good look at you, they’ll be asking to join our study session. Guys with muscles are definite distractions.”

Alec laughed. “Well, it’s not like I plan to parade around shirtless or anything.”

“What a shame,” I mumbled to myself.

“What?”

I laughed nervously. “Nothing.” I cupped my hands around my mouth and blew warm air onto my fingers, rubbing them together for friction.