The Pleasure's All Mine (35 page)

Raven stormed away, not looking at Eric or Ava who were still trying unsuccessfully to maneuver through the guests standing along the wall and outer aisles to get to her.

She didn’t make it far before she saw him
,
tucked in a pew in a side aisle, staring at the open casket, his dark brown eyes were filled with tears. Raven was struck by the savage beauty of his pain. She stayed frozen as she watched him, marveled at how handsome he was, even in his older age. She could tell it was him. Should she go to him? What would she say? Why had he stayed silent all these years?

Raven moved forward slowly, almost cautiously, until she stood before him. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came forth.

Roberto Cordoso stared openly at her, then narrowed his light brown eyes as he looked toward the casket, then back at her.

“You loved her,” Raven stated matter-of-factly.

He merely nodded.

Raven could barely whisper, “Then how could you leave her with your child?”

The handsome man flinched as if he had been slapped and slowly rose. “What did you say?” The color drained from his round, slightly weathered face as he stared intently at her.

Raven hadn’t considered that the man might not have known a thing about her.

“She never…Jaylon did not,” he began, in thickly accented English. Roberto moved forward, then inched back, then forward again, touching her face as though she were some precious jewel. “My daughter?
Mine?
”

Doubt crept into Raven’s mind. Suppose she was wrong about him? But physically it all made sense. Wavy jet black hair instead of her sibling’s gorgeous tight curls. Her honey cream skin instead of warm brown; lips sensuous and curvy like Roberto’s, but still thinner than those of her siblings. Raven nodded tentatively as she watched the man’s awe-struck expression give way to one of pure joy. “My daughter.” His voice cracked as he opened his arms to her.

Raven couldn’t hold back her tears as she moved forward warily. Was this somehow a cruel joke life was still playing? Would the answers she so desperately wanted become questions all over again?

“My daughter,” he said softly as he held her. “I didn’t know.”

The vibe she got from him said he was telling the truth. Over her shoulder she saw Anita watching them, a smile on her lips.

“Mama?” Eric approached her.

She took a minute before turning to face Eric. “This is Roberto Cordoso…my father.”

Eric did a double take, then grinned and extended his hand to the man.

Roberto grabbed it and pulled him in for a hearty hug, giving him a few solid pats on the back. He looked at Raven over Eric’s shoulder. “I was going to leave after the service, and I am certain that you are very busy, but now I am going to stay. We need to talk.” His face beamed with happiness as he touched her again. “We had a daughter.”

Raven nodded, elated. She embraced him again.

James Ripley had crept up on them and now stood off to the side, as though he wanted to say something else to Raven. Instead, he watched them, scowling.

Raven’s real father planted himself between Raven and James Ripley, asking in a voice heavy with anger, “What is your business here?”

James reared up, trying to match Roberto’s height.

“Don’t even
think
about saying anything to my daughter. You may have been able to keep me from the woman I loved, but it is a different story where my child is concerned.”

James glowered at Raven one last time before stalking away.

Where had this man been when she’d needed him? He would have protected her from James Ripley’s cruelty. Raven was certain of that. But he was here now, and that counted for everything. She finally had a father. Her
own
father. Despite the pain of losing her mother, Raven’s heart filled with joy. She took his hand again, never wanting to let go.

Drew strolled in late, Dina’s arm entwined with his. His eyes were moist and an uncharacteristic red as he locked gazes with Raven. His tears made Raven’s heart do a little flip, but she didn’t forget how hard and unyielding he’d been just days before, how he’d supported Janetta no matter how wrong she was.

“I’m sorry, Raven,” he said simply and pulled her in for a hug. He didn’t let go until Raven slowly returned his embrace.

Janetta, coming up the aisle, frowned at them. Drew avoided her, walking forward to sit next to Uncle Theo. Janetta waddled the length of the church to Drew’s side and fanned the envelopes in his face. He waved her away. She shrugged and slid in next to him as several distant cousins made room for them in the second row. They hadn’t been so kind to Raven or Eric, but it really didn’t matter. Her mother knew her heart. God knew her heart. Raven could sit on the roof for all she cared.

“Excuse me.” A mocha-skinned woman with a wrinkled face, and a wig that wasn’t on quite right, tapped Raven on the shoulder.

“Well hello, Ms. Louise,” Raven said, smiling warmly at one of her mother’s co-workers.

“You’re Jaylon’s youngest daughter, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m Raven.”

“Oh. I’m looking for that
other
one,” she whispered. “I was told to give my envelope to Janetta
only—
to make sure it doesn’t get
stolen
by any other family member.”

Lord, help me to hold my tongue. Lord, help me to keep from wrapping my hands around my sister’s neck.
She pointed Janetta out to her. “Thank you for coming, Ms. Louise. It was good seeing you again.”

“Is that what Aunt Janetta told everyone?” Eric asked, holding onto his mother’s wrist.

“I guess so. The money really should go to Drew because he made the arrangements and had to pay out of pocket for the funeral.”

Raven strolled to the front of the church, whispered in Reverend Lowry’s ear, who frowned, then nodded as he looked for Janetta. Raven returned to stand next to Eric.

“Mom, what did you do?”

She winked at him. “You’ll see.”

Moments later, Reverend Lowry took to the pulpit with the church secretary right by his side. “Are there any more cards or declarations?”

Several hands went up.

“Please give them to Ms. Clarke. We wish to acknowledge all of them during the service.”

Janetta’s eyes narrowed as she saw how many people were still holding cards. Reverend Lowry caught up with Janetta and held out his hand for the ones she’d already collected. She refused to release them until Reverend Lowry slapped her hand.

As Janetta made her way back to her seat, Raven made eye contact with her brother, who shook his head in disbelief. She didn’t miss his smirk. She almost smiled back. Several people in that area snickered, but quickly turned somber as the pastor scowled at them.

The service got under way as the choir from Eric’s former high school rendered a spirit-filled contemporary gospel piece while more people came in and stood along the walls. The church Raven had thought so spacious, now seemed too small.

“And now we’ll have words of comfort by Raven Ripley.”

All eyes were on her as she plucked a program from Eric’s hand and walked to the lecturn.

She read all three paragraphs, then added, “This is only a short summary of my mother’s life. What it doesn’t tell you is that she was more than the church-going, pineapple-coconut-cake-baking, hymn-singing woman.”

A few laughs went into the air.

“I remember the times when I would sit in front of the stove as she tried to press my hair. Her aim wasn’t always so great, and when she missed, she would say, ‘You have to suffer to be beautiful, baby.’ “

That statement, so familiar to Black women everywhere, brought peals of laughter.

“No one knows about the time she went health conscious and substituted squash for sweet potatoes in one of her famous pies—and actually thought we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.” Raven shook her head. “We shipped that pie right back to her house with just one bite missing from a tiny sliver of a slice. She couldn’t fool us.”

Another round of chuckles.

“No one knows that thirty years ago, she crashed four different cars trying to learn to drive.”

That admission was met with stunned silence.

“I want you to look at that beautiful picture on the front of the program.” Raven held up her program, slowly displaying it to all sides of the church. “It’s from her driver’s license. Now I know mine, and probably those of a few others here today, would be considered mug shots.”

Laughter erupted once again.

She looked at her father, who beamed with pride. Raven’s heart soared. “But look at her, look at how proud she was,” Raven said. “Do you see that smile? That smile says, ‘I finally did it!’

“That’s the way I want you to remember her. Beautiful and proud, so full of energy, with that red Dodge Caravan as her constant companion.” She held the real driver’s license up for all to see. “It took her thirty years to get this. She should be an example for all of us. We should never give up on the things we want most.” Raven paused to formulate her thoughts, because she hadn’t planned to say what had just come to mind. “She put off so many things until her retirement two years ago. Vacations, classes she wanted to take, things she wanted to try—all had to wait until she retired. She enjoyed only a few years of freedom before she made her transition.”

Raven blinked back tears, gripping the podium to steady herself. “I encourage all of you to do whatever you have planned. Your dreams, your goals—do it now.
Right now.
Retirement isn’t promised. Our next day isn’t promised. If we keep that in mind, we’ll treat people differently. We’ll treat our loved ones differently. We won’t wait to love the people who love us…”

A commanding, suit-clad figure moved forward and stood at the very end of the center aisle, directly in her line of vision. Pierce Randall fixated on Raven.

He came for me! He came
.

She wanted to run to him, into the comfort of his arms. Raven nearly broke down. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling and took a deep breath, feeling a heaviness in her chest.

Pierce lifted his arms slightly, his hands balled into fists as his lips mouthed the words, “Stay strong.”

Raven nodded, taking another deep breath before continuing. “We must realize that the Creator meant for us to live life abundantly—not to deprive ourselves. The more we live, love, and enjoy, the more fulfilled and at peace we become.” She took a final look at those in the audience. “Thank you ever so much for being a part of my mother’s life. And thank you for coming here today to honor her memory. I wish you all peace and love, light, and much joy.”

Applause rang out as Raven cautiously walked to Pierce, whose arms stretched out to welcome her. She nearly ran the last remaining feet to cover the distance and embraced him. “Thank you for coming.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be.”

Her gaze locked on Eric, who barely hid a grin. “Traitor,” she mouthed.

Raven’s hands wove tightly around Pierce’s, drawing strength from him. Slowly, Reverend Lowry’s words faded and Raven lay her head gently on Pierce’s shoulder.

This funeral seemed like a dream that was happening to someone else. Her mother, the mother she’d just begun to know and love, was no longer around to give her approval. Raven shuddered with immense grief.

Pierce wrapped loving arms around her shoulders as he led her to the door. Outside the bright red, wooden doors, sobs wracked her as Pierce held on tight. His deep voice soothed her. “It’s all right, baby.”

“I didn’t get to tell her…” she gasped for breath “…how much…I loved her when it counted.”

“She knows, baby. She knows.”

A few minutes later, she whispered, “I’m all right.”

“Think of how proud she’d be of your words today.”

Raven’s gaze flew up to meet his. “You really think so?”

“Oh, yes. I was deeply touched by what you said.” His dark brown eyes searched hers. “I’m going to take those words to heart.”

They walked back in just as one of the ministers began speaking. Raven had asked each to limit his or her remarks to three minutes. Knowing how long-winded some of them were, she prayed they would stay within ten.

Sesvalah, the minister and counselor who had helped Eric and Raven deal with his condition, and also one of Raven’s old supervisors from her days at a social service agency, was at the lectern. “Why are we crying here today? We should be celebrating Jaylon Ripley’s home-going. When we’ve done a good job, we expect a promotion, right? Well, God said to his child, ‘Job well done,’ and gave her that promotion.”

The spirited congregation responded warmly.

“We say, ‘God’s will be done,’ and allow our mother, our sister, our aunt, our cousin, our grandmother, our friend to be at peace, knowing that her spirit lives on. This body is just a shell. The bible says, ‘And I will make you faithful over a few things. Come on up a little higher and receive your just reward.’ Being pain free, worry free, loved and welcomed by the Creator is that just reward.”

Raven’s heart lightened as Sesvalah’s words penetrated her pain.
Heaven is a job promotion.
The many people present were proof of her mother’s work. Some were representatives from the shelters that had been the recipients of clothing and other items garnered through her mother’s love for used things. All had borne witness to her generosity.

She had thought her mother a little eccentric at times, because of the mountains of bags that had filled the living room. Jaylon would sort the items, placing them in different piles slated for particular destinations. In her retirement, nothing brought her mother more pleasure than giving. Jaylon Ripley hadn’t always been that way—and maybe, just maybe, that was the lesson she’d needed to learn in this lifetime.

Raven could learn a lot from her mother’s last two years, especially about forgiveness and letting go of the past. Drew and Janetta would surely put her to the test. The money didn’t matter. The greed didn’t matter. The driver’s license held securely in an upper section of Raven’s bra, close to her heart, was the only thing that mattered. It was a symbol of a thirty-year accomplishment, a symbol of achievement, a symbol of pride.

She had to suppress a smirk as she watched Janetta collect envelopes from the latecomers, only to have the church secretary take them from her.
Yes
,
I have a lot of growing to do
. Then she looked at Pierce, adding,
A lot of loving, too
.

Raven would tell him the truth about everything. If he really loved her, he would understand.

❤ ❤ ❤

After the service, the group traveled to Oakwood Cemetery. As rain fell steadily on her mother’s final resting place, Raven slipped the cemetery crew some money so they would cover the area with a tent.