The Pleasure's All Mine (19 page)

She had been referred to the couple for “research purposes.” Eventually, Raven’s curiosity and their willingness to sponsor her had paved the way for a trip to the Castle and the answer to one of Raven’s lifelong questions: Was she anything like her mothers? Even all these years after giving birth to her son, the question lingered.

Though her first time with her sponsors had given her some of the most memorable days of her life, it was all about prepping her for the main event. But the path to get there was deliciously entertaining—even if a little freaky.

Raven didn’t even hear either one’s soft murmurs of comfort and encouragement as the couple, during one of her “prepping” sessions, held Raven between them. The erotic sensations had made Raven’s head spin. Memories of when she’d witnessed her mothers having sex came flashing back full force…

❤ ❤ ❤

She had gone to hide in her mother’s closet, her safe place away from her siblings’ cruelty, when Anita and Jaylon walked in. The first kiss between the two women made little Raven catch her breath. The soft touches on the skin, the way they looked at each other was so beautiful.

Raven covered her mouth, not wanting to make a sound and disturb them. She watched, trying to understand the scene unfolding before her: gentle caresses, moans from both women, holding each other so close it became impossible to differentiate one body from another. This was so different than the women arguing with each other, bickering about James and money. Raven learned quite a bit about her own body that day — mainly, the fact that the little button above her vagina made her feel really, really good when she rubbed it. And so, at the age of eight, Raven’s love affair with masturbation began. Once she began to add fantasies and imagination, it made it harder for her to enjoy sex with anyone other than herself.

When the two women found Raven in the closet after their interlude, one hell of an argument proceeded, then Jaylon whispered, “Do you think she saw us?”

“It’s possible.”

“Oh God, what have we done?”

“Well, one thing’s for sure,” Anita said, with a laugh, “she found the little pearl. Look at her hand.”

“What should we say?” Jaylon’s voice had been laced with concern

“Nothing. She’ll be fine—a little masturbation never hurt anyone.”

Raven had kept her eyes firmly shut, hoping they would think she was sleeping.

“We should warn her not to do it.”

“Why? We can’t un-ring the bell here,” Anita had replied, moving the small pile of shoes from around Raven. “She saw us, and judging by the stickiness on her fingers, she’s already had a little bit of fun. There’s nothing wrong with it. Forbidding it is just like giving her permission to continue, but on the sly and throwing a little guilt in with it.”

“We could tell her it will make her sick,” Jaylon had replied. “Or that her hand will fall off or she’ll go blind.”

Raven’s eyes had almost opened. Was that why she fell asleep after she finished shaking? Was she sick?

“Oh, you mean tell her that same drivel you told Drew,” Anita shot back. “Which hasn’t worked.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I wash his dirty drawers, woman. You don’t know what the hell I know.”

Jaylon had let out a long, weary sigh. “Maybe she’ll grow out of it.”

Her mother was wrong. Raven became a pro at masturbation, becoming addicted to pleasure. Her first time with someone else had been with Eric’s father, Enrique, and it hadn’t been enjoyable. In fact, it had been downright cold and unfulfilling. She had a better time masturbating, so even after later ventures of foreplay with other men were just as lacking, she decided not to let them go past the preliminaries and from that point on she would stick with what she knew.

Now she feared she might have a problem with Pierce. She was attracted to him, but when it came down to it, would she enjoy having his hands on her, having him inside her? Since Enrique, she hadn’t been with
anyone. Now, after three unfulfilling attempts before now, she had every reason to be
afraid that she couldn’t be pleasured by
any
man. That would only mean one thing—she might be just like her mothers after all.

❤ ❤ ❤

Hours later, Raven glanced at her watch. It was too early to even think about getting up, but she couldn’t sleep; all of her senses were alive. Her life, her career, and Pierce filled her mind.

She pulled back the covers, slipped out of bed, slid into a wrap, and walked out to the balcony. The moon shimmered brightly on the ocean’s waves. The beach, once filled with surfers, lovers, and squealing children, was now empty. The pool, with its dim lighting, only added a surreal quality to the Hawaiian beauty.

Why was she so restless? Normally she’d be on round two of a serious snooze, head back, arms wrapped securely around a body-length pillow that sufficed as a replacement for a warm-blooded male. Or she might indulge in one of her guilty little pleasures—the kind that didn’t require any outside assistance.

Her support for masturbation on a personal level, and especially in her female characters, had caused quite a stir and put her on Front Street. Once at a literary symposium that was being filmed for television, an insulting male author, Theo Kapp, had called her to task. Prior to the seminar, he had made more than one pass at her—no matter that he was married—and had apparently become pissed that Raven hadn’t fallen for his charms. So while millions watched, Mr. Charming had taken the microphone, looked straight at Raven and, in response to her ode to women’s sexual empowerment, declared, “No wonder you masturbate so much. You’re alone. You don’t even throw off enough pheromones to attract the opposite sex.”

Brenda Hampton, another panelist, cocked an eyebrow in her direction, L. A. Banks whipped her head around and gave Raven a look that said,
I know you’re not going to let that slide.
The entire room seemed to freeze, anticipating Raven’s response to this jackass.

Eyes blazing and her temper just below the boiling point, Raven grabbed the closest microphone. “Yes, I masturbate—and often—and I’m damn proud of it. It keeps me from being desperate. A man can’t walk up to me and talk his way into my panties just by spouting off about his big dick and his so-called technique—” here she zeroed in on him “—like
some
men have tried.” She let her words linger as the women cheered and Theo paled. “And that’s because I have a big dick under the bed and technique in my right hand. So a man had better come with something more, say like—” she looked heavenward “—intelligence and common sense. Your wife is the one that gets my vote for being the desperate one. She must have been ripe for the plucking, judging by the fact she ended up with your tired ass.”

No man in the literary field, or any other, would even approach Raven for a date after that televised exchange. It had been played back on several talk shows and became a favorite topic for several online book clubs. Raven’s book sales had gone through the roof and it put her name on the map with women of all ethnic backgrounds.

Even her publicist, Peggy, had told her, “Raven, sweetie, I know he was insulting you, but you can’t just say everything that comes to your mind.” Then she giggled and added, “But for the record, Theo’s wife called and asked for your number. She’d like to treat you to a day at the spa.” The two women shared a laugh so hard they were nearly in tears.

Now here she was in Hawaii with a man who was strong and powerful, yet still humble. He had the intelligence, common sense, and chivalry she’d found lacking in other men.

She wondered about her reaction to his kiss, to his touch. She liked his style, and especially liked the way he stood up to her. If he’d been the type to give in, she most likely would have lost a great deal of respect for him. She
did
have a problem with a man doing things for her. She had a problem trusting people, period. After being rejected by her biological mother, and later being abandoned by her mother’s lover, trust was the last thing she was willing to give anyone. Yet here she was with a man who not only had a quiet strength that she respected, but who could kiss well enough to make her want to drop her panties quicker than a hooker could name a decent price.

“What are you still doing out here?” Pierce inquired only seconds after her eyes had closed again. “Come on, baby. You can’t stay out here all night.”

She wasn’t even given the opportunity to protest that this was her
second
time out on the balcony tonight. Pierce scooped her up, cradled her lightly in his arms, carried her into the master bedroom, and gently placed her on the bed.

Pierce backed away, aiming to go into the guest bedroom, but she immediately reached out to him, not wanting him to leave her side. Her eyes opened halfway as she whispered, “Stay with me.”

She didn’t need to ask twice. He moved in, wrapping her in his arms, relishing her warmth, enjoying the fact that she wanted him close.

“
Mahalo
,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome.”

❤ ❤ ❤

Pierce awoke the next morning, feeling a sudden sensual pressure in his groin. The heat he felt certainly wasn’t coming from the sunlight flooding the room. Sometime during the night, Raven’s sarong had loosened and her body was mostly bare. She pressed so close to him that she was like a silky second skin. Those bare buttocks were cushioned comfortably into him, giving rise to a big problem—an erection so hard it was painful to the touch.

When Pierce inched away from her to get his bearings, she instinctively moved with him. He froze until she settled, then tried to move again. He peered down at the woman lying next to him. He’d never had his control tested this way. A quick check of the clock said he might soon be saved from any further discomfort.

“Raven, we’re going to be late.”

Her deep moan sent shivers of anticipated pleasure down his spine. She stretched so languidly, sensuously, it brought primitive thoughts to his mind.
Hot damn!

Pierce kissed her shoulder and scrambled out of bed; he didn’t trust himself next to her one minute longer. “We have fifteen minutes, baby. Let’s get a move on.”

“‘Kay,” she answered in a child-like voice. As she emerged from beneath the blanket, the floral wrap covered none of the body parts that mattered.

The sight almost sent him lunging over the bed to take her into his arms and make sweet, passionate, earth-shattering love to her, the kind that left a man ready to conquer the world and left him open to being pushed over by a feather at the same time. But she had to make that first move. She had to show him she was ready, that she trusted him, loved him—even a little. And he could sense the war going on inside of her. She wanted him, he was sure of that, but all that other stuff was clouding the way. He had hoped by giving her a little time, she’d figure at least some of it out.

Raven stumbled toward the bathroom, oblivious to the war going on with Pierce.

“Damn,” Pierce said with a mild shake of his head. He sprinted to his room, switched off the alarm, and turned on the shower. Cold water sprayed out first. Go figure. He stepped underneath, the image of a semi-nude Raven engraved in his memory. He knew it was only a matter of time before they came together—literally. Still, Pierce was
trying
to be a gentleman, but he could swear his dick was on a different page. Hell, it wasn’t reading from the same book!

He felt a tad bit guilty remembering the advice his dad had given him when Sim had gotten into serious trouble with a female coed. Patrick Randall was adamant about treating women with love and respect. His father had instilled in him the truth that every woman has value—no matter her shape, size, color, upbringing, and principles. These days, Pierce always tried to keep that piece of wisdom in the forefront of his mind.

In a perfect world, he would have been married by now and living in a peaceful New York suburb with four children. Instead, he was single, childless, and had to hunt down the only woman whom he’d considered good marriage material. One recurring theme in Raven’s books was that her heroines had commitment issues. Dad never told him how to overcome that unhappy fact in real life. God had a wicked sense of humor.

Pierce had whisked Raven to an island paradise for what he had told her was dinner, but what he hoped would turn out to be something more fulfilling, something permanent. Why hadn’t he showed his hand straight from the gate and let her know that he wasn’t playing around?

Maybe it was because that kind of commitment seemed foreign to Raven’s makeup.

How, exactly, did a man deal with that?

❤ ❤ ❤

“Mom, where are you? Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Eric blasted when she finally answered one of his numerous calls.

Raven bit her lip.
Lord, what was I thinking, traveling to an exotic island with a total stranger?
Well, not so strange after last night. She could still feel him against her skin. “I’m in Maui.”

“The island?”

“Is there any other?”

“Don’t get smart with me, young lady,” he said in a playfully commanding tone. “Where are you staying?”

“The Kahana Resort.” She held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t ask who she was with. She’d never had reason to be secretive with him, but then again she’d never disappeared from his life either. And with a man to boot. Even when there were a few prospects, she had never allowed him to see her with anyone unless it was serious.

“Are you having a good time, Mom?”

She watched the ocean waves crashing outside her window. “It’s beautiful here. I might stay here until…next Friday.” She held her breath again.

“Great! Have a wonderful time.”