The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (48 page)

Was it possible to love more than one person at the same time? I had always thought it just kind of a convenient notion that authors of novels and screen plays used to amp up intrigue in their stories. I could remember more than a few times while reading a book or watching a movie, I had laughed and rolled my eyes at the heroine for finding herself in such a situation. And yet . . . here I was . . . in love with both Bryn and Khol . . . at the same time.

I couldn’t pretend anymore that when Bryn and I were semi-mated, my feelings for Khol hadn’t changed. Under those circumstances, those emotions had been allowed to bloom without me feeling threatened by the very man that cultivated them. I hadn’t even realized it was happening until the bond between Bryn and I had been severed completely. Then my attraction to Khol could no longer be overlooked because those feelings ran so much deeper than the superficial ones they had been when we first met. Khol wasn’t a cruel, conniving dragon like I had originally thought, but just a man who hadn’t known how to love me because he’d never loved anyone before. He’d been driven by his dragon instincts on how to claim me, but when push came to shove, he had sacrificed his happiness for mine. He wasn’t stupid. Now that there was another chance to be with me, unlike Bryn, Khol was doing everything in his power to capture my heart . . . and it was beginning to work. I never would have let him touch me the way he just had if things were the same between us.

“Khol?” I whispered. He pushed my still sweaty hair out of my face as I curled into his side. He still wore his pants, as promised, and I still wore nothing, but at the moment I was too languid to care.

“Yes, my little Queen?” He couldn’t hide the smile in his voice, and I for once wouldn’t begrudge him his arrogance. The man deserved every little bit that he felt about himself.

“I just wanted to tell you . . . that . . . well . . .” Should I tell him how I felt? Could I? The nature of our relationship had suddenly shifted and I didn’t quite know how to handle it.

“Shhh . . . my little Queen . . . as per usual . . . I already know what you’re feeling. Don’t trouble yourself in order to tell me.” Yep, he was definitely feeling very pleased with himself.

“Oh, well then you know that this doesn’t really change anything. I still love Bryn . . . too.” I hated having to talk about it, but it was only fair. Although I knew this talk would be much easier than the one I would have to have with Bryn. Or did I have to tell Bryn at all?

I felt Khol’s body tense against mine. “Yes, I don’t need to be reminded of your feelings for him now though. Soon enough we will all have to return to reality.”

I sat up and scowled down at him, my cheeks flushing when I met his eyes. They held secrets now, ones that only lovers truly shared. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I feel so—so confused. About all of this.”

Khol’s gaze flicked away from me. “Will you tell him then? In the sense of fairness, about the intimacies we shared?” Had he picked up on the fact that I was thinking about not telling Bryn?

“No,” I blurted out, deciding on the spot. “I’m not going to tell him, just like I never told you about the things that Bryn and I did together behind closed doors.”

His glowing green eyes flicked back to me with anger. “But I
knew
. Of course I knew. With me being so closely connected to your emotions, how could I not?” He sat up and threaded his fingers into my hair at the base of my neck. “So I ask you again, will
you
tell him, or will
I
have to?”

“Why would you do that?” I asked in horror. “What purpose would it serve?”

Khol bared his teeth at me in a mock smile, a growl erupting from his chest. “It would serve the purpose of you being able to see if he’ll pull away from you even more. If the fact that I am your lover now too scares him away, then his love isn’t pure . . . not like mine.”

“No sane guy would be happy to find out what happened between us! Of course it’s going to bother him! You can’t tell me it doesn’t bother you to know what Bryn and I’ve done together!”

“Yes, it
bothers
me,” he hissed. “And it should bother him if he truly loves you, which he does, in his own way, but it shouldn’t run him off. When a dragon loves, he loves unconditionally, and if you came to me after being with a thousand men, I would love you just the same. My love for you will never change, fade, or die.”

“He’s not fully dragon!” I screeched with frustration.

Khol tugged me closer to him with the hand that was still threaded in my hair. “But you and I are. And someone like you—a full-blooded dragon—will never be satisfied unless you are loved completely. The way you deserve. I had my doubts before, even when I thought you were half human. You will crave
more
than he can give you.”
Yes . . . more
. My body seemed to call out, and fresh feelings of lust ignited in me, my eyes dropping to his lush lips on their own accord. What would happen if I initiated a kiss for the second time this evening? I hadn’t exactly minded the results the first kiss had yielded. But Khol pushed me away and stood before I could make my move. “Put your clothes back on . . . what’s left of them. It’s time for us to return.”

“But the note said—”

“That time has passed.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I just do.”

I hastened to pull my clothes back on, eager to get back to the compound and away from our fight. No good could come from it, either we’d end up saying things we didn’t mean, or I would end up letting him claim me despite my determination to stick to my plan. But I couldn’t help but wonder . . . Was Khol right? Did it matter that I was a dragon and Bryn wasn’t? Maybe I wanted things from Bryn that his genetic makeup made impossible for him to give me. I’d always thought that love conquered all. And I believed that was still true. But maybe the question wasn’t
would
love conquer all, but rather
whose
?

“My Liege,” The short, stocky balding man said as he hunched over into a bow in front of his master. “I have news.”

“Well,” his master snapped, “stop sniveling on the ground in front of me and spit it out.”

The man shakily pulled himself up to his full height of about 5'5" and attempted to meet his master’s eyes. “There are whispers . . .”

“Spit it out,” his master interjected with anger. “Whispers of what?”

“Whispers that their Queen has risen.”

“No!” His master bellowed, slamming his meaty fist into his desk. “Their Queen has been gone for decades, presumed dead.” A hush fell over the large room that seemed to tick on for hours; finally the master spoke again. “What of our contact?”

The short man started shaking uncontrollable at the question. “D-dead,” he stammered. “The dragon sent only his head back, apparently—apparently—”

“Apparently what?”

“Apparently he felt very put out about the fact the girl was injured. The boy was to be our only target.”

“The girl must die,” his master growled, his human façade threatening to slip. “Find another way.”

“Yes, my Liege.” The man made a hasty retreat towards the door.

“And Terrance,” his master called. “No more excuses. I’ve grown to like this planet and all it has to offer. I’m not about to let the dragons and one silly little Seer put a stop to my plans.”

The man nodded as he left, not wanting to linger for fear of having to bear the brunt of his master’s anger. He’d gotten off light this time, but he had no misgivings about what would happen if he failed a second time. The girl had to die at any cost.

Khol ushered me back to the compound and deposited me in his room with the order to stay put until he came to get me. He muttered something about announcing me to the dragons, which I could only take one way . . . that he wanted to declare me their Queen. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about that, being that I was a little wrapped up in the current deteriorating state of my love life.

As my mind wandered, I couldn’t help but wonder if the haphazard writing on my locker last year that had declared me to be a
slut
hadn’t been a portent of the future, instead of just the words of some mean spirited student. Was I now in fact a slut? When the number of guys I’d had sex with had gone from one to two, because it hadn’t exactly been my idea, it didn’t feel as wrong as it did to have let Khol give me his intimate kiss when I was still involved with Bryn. The fact was my body craved both of them, and my heart loved both of them, but that didn’t mean that gave me the right to have loose morals. I’d never thought myself the type of girl who would treat such intimacies with such a cavalier attitude. If not for the fact that it would have caused me to be mated to Khol, I probably would have begged him to make love to me earlier. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on Jenna all these years.

A knock preceded Khol’s door swinging open and I looked up from my pensive perch on the edge of his bed to see Jeremy striding into the room. He smiled, a look of relief washing over his face. “Hey, Khol told me you were back. I’m beyond relieved everything turned out okay.”

I harrumphed. “
Okay
. Yeah, whatever.” If okay meant that my whole world had been turned upside down in a matter of minutes by my dear old Queen Mummy, then yeah, everything was okay.

His smile faltered as he studied me. “What happened?”

“Where’s Jenna?” I grumbled. “I really think she’s the one I need to talk to right about now.”

He scowled and clenched his jaw. “She’s with Macon, fighting.”

“But I thought she broke it off with him? I mean that’s the way it seemed to me.”

“He doesn’t want to let her go.” Jeremy started pacing. “And I can’t really blame him.”

“Oh, I see.” Although I didn’t. Well, not really. I mean if Jenna didn’t want to be with Macon anymore, he should just let her go, you can’t make someone stay with you.
Shit.
Wasn’t that exactly what I was doing with Bryn? I shook my head with uncertainty. No, it was different with Bryn and me because Bryn actually loved me. Jenna wanted someone else.
Totally different. End of story
. “Does he know about you two yet?”

Jeremy stopped his pacing and came to sit beside me on the bed. “No, there isn’t any
us
yet. Not really.” He then flopped back on the bed with a huge sigh. “I think she still wants to be with him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Besides him being a dragon and her being human puts a lot of obstacles between them. Obstacles that Jenna doesn’t seem very inclined to wanna deal with.”

Jeremy’s eyes slid shut and he spoke through clenched teeth. “I don’t wanna be her second choice just because it’s too hard to be with him. You of all people should understand that.”

“Yeah, I do.” My thoughts turned to my baby and how I hadn’t wanted Bryn to know that I was pregnant so it wouldn’t affect his choices regarding our relationship. But Khol had let that cat out of the bag, and now everything was so tangled up that I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever get things unknotted. My hand rose involuntarily to my stomach. The motion comforted me for some reason. “Maybe she’s just a little confused right now, but that doesn’t mean you’re her second choice. It is possible to have strong feelings for more than one person at the same time, maybe even love two people at the same time.”

“Speaking from experience?” Jeremy asked a little too casually. I turned to look at him and I realized he was now staring at me with question in his eyes. I looked away quickly and bit my lip. Why did I feel like such a horrible person for loving both Bryn and Khol? “You can talk to me. We’re supposed to be friends now, remember?”

I gnawed on my lower lip for a few seconds before exhaling a huge breath. I began to speak while studying the far wall, unable to meet Jeremy’s eyes for fear of breaking down if I allowed myself to see pity or some other soft emotion in him. “Does that make me a horrible person?” Tears began to gather in the corners of my eyes despite my best efforts to stave them off. “I’m pregnant, and I don’t know which one of them is the father. I love them both, despite everything that’s happened, I do, I really do. And I don’t know how to handle it.” I paused and swallowed a few times trying to combat the sudden dryness in my throat. “Do you think I’m a slut, Jeremy?” As soon as I let myself utter the words out loud, it was like I’d opened the flood gate and rivers of salt water began to track down my cheeks.