The Perfect Plans Series [Box Set] (89 page)

He doesn’t answer right away, and I have to wonder what he’s thinking.

“He
has
been staying with me, since I returned. We’ve been doing a lot of talking,” his eyes remain on the road. “He is still there now,” he turns to take in my reaction, though I’m more concerned with his. Wary caution colors his blue eyes, his thumb brushing along my held hand. “How did you know he was released?” he asks between glances to the road, his tone more than curious. He wants answers to a question I stupidly put on the table.

“Well, we haven’t talked about why I was ignoring your calls and messages the other night,” I look down at my lap, fiddling with my scarf. I feel every glimpse he steals as he concentrates on the road ahead. They’re frequent, and I don’t need to see them to sense their urge for my continuance. “I stopped by your place the night before the wedding. To talk to you…It was my turn to apologize,” I pause, meeting his quick glance, his eyes filled with remorse of his own.

“Baby…”

“I’m sorry, Alex,” I interrupt him, needing him to hear the words, to hear their truth. “Everything that happened with Julia…with Andrew. I was wrong…”

“We both were,” he lifts my hand to his lips once more, flashing me his loving gaze. “New beginnings,” his sweet smile melts me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home when you stopped by. Did you see Ben?” his quick look of compunction breaks my heart, “Is that why you were so upset?”

“Well, not exactly,” I purse my lips. “When no one answered the door, I let myself in,” I nip at the corner of my mouth. “I heard someone upstairs…a woman’s giggles coming from the washroom.”

His gaze darts towards me, before shaking his head, looking back to the road, “Ben had company…Well, that would certainly make me head back out the door,” he huffs a laugh.

“It didn’t,” I pause awkwardly, his eyes returning to mine, his stare so long I wonder if we should pull over, “…I assumed it was you.”

“
That’s
why you were upset?” he throws me an exasperated grimace. “You thought I was there…with someone else, Aby?”

“Not just someone,” I blurt, a little defensively. “
She
came out. Helena came out. Naked.”

“
Helena
?” her name spits off his tongue, the car suddenly swerving, shrieking to a halt.

Braced in my seat, I realize we’ve reached his flat. Thank God for perfect timing.
Or not
, I look towards the front door, remembering Ben just beyond it.

“Ben is sleeping with
Helena
?” it’s more of a bewildered statement than a question.

I’m not sure if I’m relieved, or not, that his shock has temporarily washed away my assumption that it was him in the bathroom with Helena. I’m going to go with relieved. I certainly understand his baffled reaction to the awkward situation…Alex, his ex-phone-for-sex friend, and his best friend - former druggie slash girlfriend-hitter-on’er gone straight. It’s messed up shit.

Staring at his hands on the wheel, he blows out a mouthful of air before looking towards me, “How do you feel about seeing him? I’m only asking because he wants to apologize. But, sweetheart, if you don’t want to hear it, you don’t have to. I can go in and make sure he stays out of our way.”

I’m not sure what to say. Do I want to see Ben? I’m still lost in what just happened. Where’s the gap in his reaction? Where’s the frustration that I doubted him? “Alex, I…” my mouth clamps shut, lost for words.

“I get it,” he angles in the seat to face me. “If I saw Liam, or Andrew,” pausing slightly, his jaw clenches, “…in the same circumstance, I would have thought the worst as well. I think anyone would have, under the circumstances,” he shrugs.

“I’m still sorry. I doubted you, Alex. Even though my heart was fighting it, questioning it, I let myself think…” I trail off.
Who am I kidding?
I doubted
myself
for twelve years. Do I really expect to be cured over night? “In the end, I just knew you would never…”

“I know, baby,” he cups my cheek, brushing his thumb lovingly along my jaw.

“I told you, I’m a work in progress,” I attempt a half-hearted laugh, though it misses the mark.

“
We’re
a work in progress remember?” his perfect smile washes everything away once more.

No more looking back. We’re starting over.

“You know what? I think I should hear what Ben has to say,” I cover Alex’s hand at my cheek, leaning in to his caress. Who am I to pass judgment on mistakes, when we’re moving past our own?

Flashing me an approving grin, he leans in for a chaste kiss, before getting out to open my door.

The sight of both Ben and Helena when we enter throws me a little off kilter. It’s more than awkward. Standing in the foyer, they look towards us with equal surprise. Yup. Awkward.

“I was just leaving,” Helena smiles.

“Don’t leave on our account,” the look Alex gives her is a mixture of intrigue and discomfort. It must feel strange for him with this odd grouping.

“I’m not,” she smiles warmly. “I do have to run,” she explains, stepping on her tiptoes to give Alex her trademark kiss to both cheeks. “I’m sure you and Ben have some talking to do,” her smile is aimed at both Alex and I, though there’s a little unease when she looks into my eyes.

“Hey, buddy,” Ben smiles at Alex, as Helena passes us to reach for the door.

He and Alex motion towards the sitting room, when I feel the pull to talk to Helena. It doesn’t feel right to let her leave, not after I left things up in the air at the reception. I have a few things I need to say. “Ummm…I’ll be right back,” I smile as Alex turns, his brow arched slightly as I move to follow Helena outside. “Helena, wait,” I call after her, closing the door behind me.

She turns with an anxious smile, but stops to meet me half way.

“I just thought I would let you know that I didn’t throw you under the bus with Alex.”

“I appreciate that, Abigail,” she smiles warmly. “I do apologize for my method, but I won’t apologize for looking out for my friend - and like I said, that’s all Alex is to me…my friend.”

“Duly noted. But, as his friend, you should know that Alex abhors people trying to control his life. This is your one get out of jail free card.”

“Duly noted,” a flash of guilt passes through her soft gaze.

“That being said, I feel I owe you an apology, myself. I said some pretty harsh things, not to mention I was wrong to judge you from the very beginning…”

“You judged me?” she interrupts in surprise. “I’d just assumed you considered me a threat from Alex’s past.”

His past? Their affair ended the night he met me. I hardly call that the past…
Ugh
. This is not the time to argue over semantics. I think there’s enough on the table with my suggestive admission that I considered her a whore -
and
an evil, conniving snake. But let’s just leave it at the implied whore part. “Yes, I judged you, wrongfully. I allowed petty jealously and insecurity to taint my opinion of you. And that’s truly awful. Please accept my apology.”

“How can I not, when you are being so open and honest with me? Thank you, Abigail.” Her smile is warm, as always, and I realize there was never any ulterior motive behind it. Nor was there any meaning behind her touchy tentacles - she’s reaching out and brushing my arm as we speak. She really is just the touchy feely type.

“Please, call me Aby.”

Her smile widens, and she pulls me into a soft hug, kissing both cheeks as she pulls away. “I really do have to run, I’m sorry.” She turns away, before glancing back, “Thank you, Aby. Perhaps we can all get together for dinner some time soon, the four of us.” And with that she’s gone.

I can only assume she means Ben, Alex and I in her total of four. Not exactly a visual I can wrap my head around just yet. Or possibly anytime. That’s a
time will have to tell
kinda thing. I shiver a little trying to picture it, shaking it off and heading back inside.

“I don’t know if I’d be standing here today if it weren’t for Helena, man,” I hear Ben from inside the sitting room as I enter.

Closing the door quietly behind me, I can’t help but overhear more. I weigh the option of just walking in, but I have the feeling I should let them finish.

“So it’s some savior complex? You feel you owe her?”

“No, Jesus, give me a little credit. I care for her, man. I did high, and I do sober. The fact that she was the one that stood by my side though the bitch of a transition just sweetens the pot. No pun intended, man, I swear.”

I can almost visualize Ben’s playful, dimpled smile, and it pulls at my own. Very interesting since the last time I saw him, he felt more akin to the devil, evoking feelings I never want to experience again.

“Well, then I’m happy for you, Ben. Honestly, man. If you have no problem with my history with Helena, I certainly won’t,” Alex sounds sincere. “But absolutely no sharing fucking crib notes, shithead.”

My hand darts to my lips to squish away a threatening burst of laughter that probably would have been lost in the sounds of their own. It’s funny, but so very inappropriately gross.

“So, when
was
it you two met?” Alex asks, his tone suggesting his sorting of the pieces to the puzzle.

Ah, yes, that would have been
that
night. The night Ben took me home. The night it all went to shit for Alex and his best mate. Ben and I had encountered Helena in the lobby of Ashley Fines. “I introduced them,” I walk into the room, their attention turning towards me.

“Aby…” Ben begins, but I cut him off.

“It was the night Ben drove me home.”

Alex looks up, taking a deep breath through his nose, his jaw clenching as he composes himself in the awkward moment. He and Ben are clearly on a path towards reconciling their friendship, but I’m not surprised to see Alex’s inner struggle with getting past this. Under the influence of drugs or not, Ben crossed a serious line.

Ben bites the corner of his mouth, yet surprisingly he appears completely calm and in control. It’s almost as though he allowing Alex and I the moment to absorb the reflux. He’s had time to do that himself, isn’t it part of his recovery?

I move to Alex’s side, taking his hand before looking back to Ben, my eyes signaling in silence for him to go ahead.

“Aby,” he begins again. “What I did to you, to Alex…no words can excuse it. I abused your trust, and I put you in a position you did not deserve to be in. I was in a bad place - no excuse, I know. I’m truly, truly sorry,” he pauses, his gaze flickering between ours, before he continues, “I’m working really hard at starting over. And though I can’t lose
this
ass,” he gestures towards Alex, his dimples smiling lightly, “…he’s not the reason I’m asking for your forgiveness. I’m asking because you deserve my apology. Whether you choose to accept it, or not, will be respected. But either way, Aby, I promise you, I will never ever make you feel the way I made you feel that night.”

I don’t speak right away, his words working their way through my system, their sincerity felt, though cautiously seeping into my psyche. The one thing I am sure of, though, is how I feel in his presence at this moment. I feel safe. And it’s not because I’m sure Ben is no longer a threat. It’s not even because I feel protected by Alex. It’s because I finally feel like I can trust in myself. See things through clear and confident eyes. As I did just moments ago with Helena.

“You’re like a brother to me, man,” Ben continues in my silence, bridging the gap between us to hug Alex. It’s one of those loving, though uber-masculine man hugs, with backslapping and grunts to swallow emotion. It warms my heart.

When they finally break apart, Ben looks down bashfully, before braving a look into my eyes at Alex’s side.

“Alex and I are celebrating new beginnings,” I offer a small smile, honest warmth in my gaze, “…I think it would be really nice to include you, shithead.”

Breaking out in a huge, dimply grin, his eyes beam as he moves to hug me, almost lifting me off the floor. Releasing me quickly, he stands back with his palms held high in surrender, “Shit, sorry. I got carried away.”

“It’s okay, I could tell it was a brotherly type hug,” I reassure him.

“If it wasn’t, I would have kicked his ass,” Alex chuckles.

“Yeah, and now we all now that he
can
,” Ben mutters, and we all laugh.

“HI, HANDSOME.”

“Mmmm…there’s the voice that’s been whispering through my mind all day,” the sexy timbre of Alex’s accent vibrates down my core.

I juggle to secure my cell phone in the crook of my neck as the sensual attack of his phone call halts me in the middle of the parking lot. “Do tell me, Mr. Tate, what have I been whispering?” I urge him, ironically on a whisper since his words stole my breath.

“How much you’re looking forward to me bending you over the minute I walk in the door,” he offers in a rough hush.

Oh God
. “And,” I pause to steal a breath, “…what do
you
say to my day long whisperings?”

“I want you all over me.”

Holy mother of pearl
. I’m unable to formulate a word, my mouth hanging open, chest heaving. I’m almost panting, over-exerted from my struggle with the overloaded grocery cart, my pulse skyrocketing at the hands of this man’s sinful ramblings.