The Perfect Mess (12 page)

Chapter 17

Landon didn’t know why he even bothered. Just about every sketch included Ben. He was holding a bottle of wine, a child version of him was building a rocket out of pots and pans and he was wearing a unicorn costume and scaring monsters from under children’s beds. Landon had three weeks left, it was probably time for him to cut back on his work and spend the little time he had left with Ben. God, he hated the idea. Part of him thought that if he just kept working and pretending he wasn’t going, they wouldn't have to deal with it.

He looked at the couch and Ben was reading a biography about Mozart. His square, wire framed glasses always made Landon a little restless. They looked so refined and elegant. Landon wanted to rip them off and turn Ben into something more primitive and unrestrained. But he was supposed to be working and Ben looked so relaxed. It would be wrong to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. Wouldn’t it? Landon bit his lip and tapped his pencil against the desktop.

“We both know you’re not getting any work done. Why don’t you come over here?” Ben murmured as he flipped a page and Landon dropped his pencil and pushed away from his desk.

“What gave me away?” He asked as he lowered his body over Ben’s.

“You kept sighing and it was getting to be a bit pitiful,” Ben teased. Landon plucked Ben’s glasses from his face and placed them on the coffee table before pushing his shirt up his chest. Ben sat up and let Landon pull the shirt over his head. “I don’t think having a couch in your office is a very good idea,” Ben murmured as Landon attacked his lips.

He still had a weakness for Ben’s lips. Their lush fullness drove Landon crazy and he wondered why he never had a thing for lips before. Or why he felt like he’d always have a thing for lips in the future. Something shifted in his chest and he knew that any pair of lips would be wrong if they weren’t Ben’s.

Landon shook his head internally as he freed their erections and pressed them together, marveling in the heat and hardness of their flesh as well as the difference in skin tones. Maybe it was the artist in him, but he loved the contrast and the way his skin looked like it was outlined at times when it was against Ben’s. He loved the differences in their skin color but it had taken some time for him to get over the awareness he felt of the attention they drew as an inter-racial couple. In the beginning, he had been almost hyper aware when they were out together. He’d asked Ben if he noticed that they received a lot of stares and Ben had shrugged it off and said that as a black man, he was used to the extra scrutiny. Landon hadn’t known how to respond to that. He hated that he didn’t doubt Ben and wished that there was something he could say to compensate or apologize.

You didn’t make the world this way and you can only change so much. Just keep loving him for who he is,
he decided. He knew early on that he loved Ben. He might have fallen in love with him when he first saw his name in his phone. Landon wasn’t sure but he wasn’t going to tell Ben. It would only make everything harder.

He shook his head again.
Don’t think about that. Think about how hard this is,
he instructed as he stroked their cocks together. Landon leaned forward and sucked on Ben’s lip as he stretched and opened the table drawer by the couch and grabbed a bottle of lube. He quickly slicked it over Ben’s length before slipping out of his shorts. Ben groaned as he shifted his hips and watched as Landon slowly took his length deep into the clenching heat of his ass.

“I love the way you ride my cock,” Ben whispered as his hand wrapped around Landon’s length and began to stroke. There was that word again.
Love.
It made him nervous. He dreaded hearing it from Ben.
Make it so he can’t talk,
Landon decided and he grinned as he gripped tighter and bounced faster. He reached back and squeezed Ben’s sack, causing him to hiss and undulate beneath Landon.

“I need you to fill my ass with your come,” Landon urged as he rode Ben hard. The air was filled with the sound of his ass slapping against Ben’s hips and he knew he wasn’t going to last long.

“Come for me,” Ben commanded and Landon shut his eyes as Ben’s hand pulled at his erection. He let his jaw fall as pressure swirled and pushed into his balls and up the length of his shaft. Pleasure and warmth flooded his groin as he ground on Ben’s cock. His nerves flickered and tightened and he shuddered as pleasure exploded, sending currents of heat through him as come poured from the head of his cock in thick ribbons on Ben’s chest and stomach. Once again, Landon was mesmerized by the contrast. He was pulled from his delirious reverie as Ben’s hand closed around his. “Feed it to me,” he said as he pushed Landon’s fingers through the puddles of come on his skin. Landon nodded drunkenly as he gathered the come with his fingers then pushed them into Ben’s mouth. Ben moaned as he sucked and licked Landon’s fingers clean and Landon was helpless to stop his mouth from covering Ben’s. He growled as he chased the taste of his come through Ben’s mouth with his tongue and he felt Ben’s hands claw at his body before he convulsed beneath him. A rush of heat filled Landon’s passage and Ben writhed and bucked. Landon shivered as a soft tremor of pleasure spilled through him. He was hugged tight to Ben’s chest and as he felt Ben thrust deep as the last of the come pulsed from his length into Landon’s ass.

Ben’s hands swept tenderly over Landon’s back as they struggled to catch their breath and Landon sensed heavy words filling Ben’s mouth. He nipped at Ben’s lips as he pushed himself upright.

“I think this couch is perfect in here,” he murmured as he carefully slid free from Ben. “But we’d be much more comfortable in bed,” Landon said as he stood and Ben frowned up at him.

“It’s a bit early to be going to bed,” he said as he sat up and Landon smiled over his shoulder.

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping,” he said and he heard a soft laugh as Ben followed.

Chapter 18

There was a soft knock at the door and Landon grinned as he pushed away from the desk and dashed into the hall. It was a little early but he knew it was Ben. He felt a tremor of anticipation and loved that he still felt nervous and excited when he knew that he was going to see Ben. He pulled open the door and there was a flutter in his chest when Ben grinned as he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Landon’s lips. Landon grumbled at the bags Ben clutched against his chest that got in the way as he tried to get closer.

“What’s all of this?” He asked as he stepped back and waved him in.

“I decided it was time I made you my mama’s jerk chicken and plantains,” Ben said as he set the bags on the counter and Landon hummed as he followed.

“That sounds delicious,” he said as he peeked in one of the bags. “This is going to be spicy, isn’t it?” Landon asked as he took out the scotch bonnet peppers and Ben laughed as he took them.

“Definitely. I won’t marinade the chicken too long though. I don’t want to hurt your delicate white palate,” Ben teased and Landon snorted.

“I can handle a lot of heat but I’m not stupid enough to pretend I’m not wary of those,” he said and Ben nodded.

“I’ll make it the way mama did when we were kids,” he winked as he passed Landon a cold bottle of wine. “Open this while I get to work,” Ben ordered and Landon saluted jauntily as he leaned against the counter. He pulled out the bottle opener as he watched Ben prepare and lay out all of the ingredients. Landon loved watching Ben cook. He was always organized and precise, like a surgeon.

“Can I help with anything else?” He asked as he poured and Ben shook his head as he measured the coriander.

“I’ve got this. You can pick some music for us to listen to,” he murmured as he counted allspice berries.

An hour and half way through a second bottle of wine later, Landon wasn’t sure what was more appetizing; the smells coming from the other side of the counter or Ben in a tight blue polo and khaki shorts.

“I think you’re doing this wrong,” Landon said as he rested his cheek in his hand and leaned across the counter. Ben looked over his shoulder and gave Landon a bland look.

“
You
think that
I’m
doing this wrong?” He asked in disbelief and shook his head as he turned the heat on under a pan. Landon nodded slowly and his lips curved into a drowsy grin.

“Your family’s from Jamaica, right?” He asked and Ben nodded as he arranged the plantains and Landon hummed thoughtfully. “Well, it’s hot in Jamaica and I think it’s reasonable to assume they wore far fewer clothes when they cooked,” Landon said and Ben snorted as he looked over the range at Landon.

“Frying food when you’re naked is a terrible idea, no matter where you live,” Ben replied and Landon sighed in disappointment before taking a long sip of wine. “And not conducive to the cooking process in general,” he added and Landon silently agreed. He wouldn’t have been able to leave Ben alone for as long if he was naked.

Landon was about out of good behavior when Ben set the fried plantains, chicken and rice and peas on the table. Landon poured more wine as Ben prepared their plates. He kissed Ben on the cheek before he cut off a bite of chicken. He groaned in delight as he chewed then coughed softly as the heat got more intense. He narrowed his eyes as Ben watched him. Landon swallowed and nodded as he scooped a forkful of the rice and beans.

“That’s really hot but delicious,” Landon declared before chewing again. He washed it all down with wine as he cut off another large bite of chicken. He already knew he’d be eating a second helping, even if it killed him. Ben took a bite then shook his head.

“I’ll never be able to get it right,” he complained and Landon looked at him as if he’d bit the head off an actual chicken and Ben shrugged. “It’s good but it’ll never be as good as mama’s,” Ben explained and Landon nodded in understanding. He popped a piece of plantain into his mouth then waved between them.

“Do you think she’d approve?” He asked and Ben was still before he wiped his mouth with his napkin and nodded.

“Yes,” he said and his eyes misted as he stared across the room. I know exactly what she’d say too,” Ben murmured and Landon set his fork down as he waited. “My grandmother insisted on speaking ‘
The Queen’s English’
and my mother was always very proper but she would say something like, ‘Listen to me, Bennet. If you want to keep this boy, you had better cook him some peas and rice and curried goat. You have to show him you’re serious.’ and then she’d show you every single one of my report cards.” Ben laughed softly as he reached for his wine glass. Landon intercepted his hand and pulled it to his lips.

“I couldn’t think of anything that I’d love more than to look at them with her,” he murmured and he knew Ben was struggling to maintain his composure when he nodded quickly as he squeezed Landon’s hand and drained his glass. “I’m sure you miss her all the time. I’ve never lost anyone to cancer, I can’t imagine how hard that was.” Landon poured more wine and gave Ben a moment to get a handle on his emotions. Ben cleared his throat and stared into his wine.

“I know it might seem weird that Michelle and I had to find apartments right across from each other but she’s all I have left of my family. We were always close but I promised my mother that I’d look out for her. And she reminds me so much of her, it’s like having little moments with my mom every day when Michelle says something she used to say or gives me one of her looks,” Ben explained and Landon shook his head.

“It’s not weird at all. Lindsey and I are really close. I don’t know if I could handle having her across the hall but I feel off if I haven’t seen her for a few days. Deciding to move so far away from her was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make,” Landon said and Ben swallowed hard as he raised his glass to his lips.

“I don’t think I could do that,” Ben said softly and Landon held his breath as pain bloomed and spread through his chest. “I’ve been on her to get tested for the BRCA genes but she won’t. I’d be afraid that she would keep putting off routine exams and would never get tested if I moved away. And I’d feel like I lost half of myself if I couldn’t see her everyday. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I lost her forever,” he said and Landon hated the ripple of fear he felt as he wondered how much of himself we would be losing when he left. It was bad enough when he was leaving Lindsey and Molly, now Ben was taking up so much space inside of him, he’d have to deal with missing his family and feeling hollow. He curved his hand around Ben’s neck as he leaned close. He didn’t bother to keep his breath from shuddering as he filled his lungs and he knew his lips trembled as they touched Ben’s but he didn’t want to talk about his leaving.

“We’re going to have a to find a way to convince her to get tested,” Landon murmured and Ben nodded.

“She says she will later, she wants to enjoy her life without the weight of that hanging over her,” he explained and Landon nodded in understanding.

“I get that but aren’t there things she can do to be proactive and reduce the risk of her getting cancer?” He asked and Ben grimaced.

“She wants to have children before she’d have to have her ovaries removed and she’s afraid of losing her breasts. She hasn’t talked to Jason about it but she’s worried he wouldn’t stick around if she had to go through with something like a preventative mastectomy,” Ben said and Landon wished he could tell Ben she had nothing to worry about. His instincts told him that Jason loved her and would stay by her side but Relationship Jason was very different from the Man-Whore Jason he lived with. In a lot of ways, he was like an entirely different person.

“Well, if he doesn’t, he was never good enough for her and she’s better off without him,” Landon stated. He wanted to say that he’d be there to help her get through it. Over the last few weeks they’d gone on a lot of double dates with Michelle and Jason and Landon had fallen in platonic love with Michelle. She was a bubbly, louder, tinier, feminine version of Ben and it was incredibly entertaining watching her push his buttons. He didn’t know where his relationship with Ben was headed but he hoped that he would be able to support Michelle, in some way, if she had to go through something like that.

“I think he’s in it for the long haul,” Ben said. “He loves her and I think she should tell him. He deserves to be part of her decision making process.” His eyes were distant and Landon waited as Ben made his own decision. He nodded faintly before he looked back at Landon. “He wants to have a future with her, he should know,” Ben stated and Landon couldn’t fault his judgement.

“Maybe we should all sit down and have a talk about this,” he suggested as he wrapped his arms around Ben’s shoulders and Ben nodded.

“I think she’ll listen if it’s coming from you too,” he said as he pulled Landon tight against him. “But I don’t want to talk about anything else heavy tonight. This was supposed to be about us and fun,” Ben mumbled as he pressed his face into Landon’s hair. Landon took a cleansing breath then smiled.

“So, you’re only half serious, then?” He asked and Ben looked confused as he pulled his head back. Landon cocked his head toward their plates. “I got rice and peas but no goat,” Landon explained and Ben rolled his eyes.

“Do you know how hard it is to get goat?” He asked and Landon held his hands up.

“That’s fine. I get that I’m not worth the effort,” he muttered as he picked up his fork and poked at his chicken. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I’m perfectly happy with just sort of serious chicken,” Landon said and Ben snorted as he elbowed Landon.

“Oh, my God, shut up,” he groaned. “I’ll cook you some curried goat tomorrow. I’ll search the whole damn city if I have to,” Ben said and sighed as he reached for his wine and Landon laughed.

“You don’t have to. This chicken is amazing,” he insisted as he helped himself to a second serving. “I’m not a big fan of curry anyways, so this is perfect,” Landon added and Ben shook his head as he swallowed.

“Nope. I’m making goat tomorrow and you’re eating it,” he warned and Landon wrinkled his nose.

“Do I have to, mom?” He whined and Ben chuckled as he leaned close and nipped Landon’s ear.

“You can’t leave the table until you clean your plate,” he whispered as his hand slid up Landon’s thigh. “And I’d hate for you to miss dessert,” Ben purred and Landon was torn. He wanted to eat until he couldn’t breathe but he also wanted to fuck Ben. Very badly all of a sudden.

“Can we leave the table now?” He asked as he guided Ben’s hand to the bulge in his jeans and Ben hummed as he squeezed and stroked. Landon shut his eyes and scooted his hips lower in the seat so Ben could rub more of his length.

“I thought you wanted to eat more,” Ben murmured as he flicked the button of Landon’s fly open and Landon nodded.

“Oh, I’m going to eat,” he promised and Ben’s eyes darkened as they found Landon’s.

“Get up,” he commanded and Landon jumped to his feet.

It took them a few minutes to make their way to the bedroom as they kissed hungrily and tore at each other’s clothes and stumbled blindly through the living room and hallway. They landed in a tangle of limbs on the bed and wrestled as they argued. Ben wanted to suck Landon’s cock while Landon kept trying to maneuver Ben onto his stomach so he could feast on Ben’s ass. Finally, Landon talked Ben into straddling his chest backwards. For a moment, Landon struggled to keep from laughing when he recalled nearly offering his face as a seat the first night he met Ben. The humor faded quickly when Ben dove for Landon’s cock and took him deep in his throat. Landon moaned in bliss as he grabbed handfuls of Ben’s ass and buried his face between the firm mounds. He licked, sucked and probed ravenously and decided the only thing more heavenly than feasting on Ben’s ass was doing so while Ben’s lips were locked around his erection. He worked two fingers into Ben’s clenching heat and soon, Ben was riding his fingers and moaning around Landon’s cock.

“I need you in my ass now!” Ben gasped as he pushed off the bed. Landon bit Ben’s ass cheek then reached for the lube and passed it to Ben.

“Ride me, Ben,” he commanded and Ben groaned in frustration.

“Just fuck me,” Ben insisted and Landon shook his head as his tongue slid into the cleft of Ben’s ass.

“I can do this all night,” he warned then laved Ben’s tender, puckered flesh.

He heard Ben whimper as his body started to shake. Landon knew he was pushing Ben but he wanted Ben to finally accept that he enjoyed getting fucked. While he understood that Ben had some emotional and cultural mental hurdles to overcome, it was time for him to own it. And he wanted to see Ben take control of his pleasure when he was bottoming, not being passive and doing it for Landon. “I want to watch you ride my cock until you get off,” Landon said and his erection pulsed at the thought. Ben hissed as he sat up and there was a click as the lube flicked open. Landon jumped as cool, slick fingers wrapped around his length then moaned as they stroked firmly. He held his breath and silently prayed that Ben wouldn’t change his mind as he scooted down Landon’s body. Landon’s eyes flared and his jaw dropped as he watched Ben set his knees outside of his thighs and carefully guide the head of Landon’s cock to his entrance. He was about to protest, he wouldn’t be able to see Ben’s face or when he came but he became transfixed with the site of his erection disappearing into Ben as he slowly sat back. And it felt so good, Ben’s tight heat gripping his shaft as his ass dropped onto Landon’s groin. “That’s it,” Landon breathed as he got his elbows beneath him. “That’s so good,” he panted and Ben nodded drunkenly as he rose on his knees.

“Holy shit,” Ben moaned before he sat back down. He ground against Landon and rolled his hips and Landon almost swallowed his tongue as pleasure rippled through his body. Ben shivered then fell forward and pressed his hands on the bed and rocked his hips. He gasped and Landon felt Ben squeeze tight around him and had to grit his teeth to keep from shouting as another wave of pleasure rolled through him and his nerves twisted tight. Landon watched in awe as Ben’s muscles bunched and stretched and his skin glistened with sweat as he rocked faster. The firm swells of his ass flexed and quivered as Ben rode Landon with fevered abandon. The air was filled with the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, grunts, moans and pants and Landon swore loudly when Ben timed the fall of his hips with the bouncing of the mattress to ride Landon harder and faster. “I’m so close!” Ben said frantically as he sat back and Landon grabbed Ben’s hips and bucked wildly beneath him as he watched Ben’s arm pumping quickly as his head fell back. “Fuck! Yesssss!” He hissed and Landon felt Ben’s passage squeeze tight around his shaft then contract rhythmically. Landon arched and gasped Ben’s name as pressure slammed into the base of his cock as he was pulled into Ben’s release. His nerves exploded as the muscles of Ben’s ass milked his cock and he screamed as he came deep inside Ben. He heard Ben moan and felt his body twitch as molten heat flooded his core as Landon convulsed beneath him. Despite being barely coherent, Landon grabbed Ben as he swayed drunkenly and pulled him back onto his chest and rolled them onto their sides. He wrapped his arms around Ben’s chest and pressed kisses to his shoulders and the back of his neck as they shivered and waited to catch their breath.