Authors: C. E. Black
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Vampires, #Two Hours or More (65-100 Pages), #Fantasy, #Werewolves & Shifters
Paul smiled back, but I was glad to notice he turned just right to dislodge her hand. "I've been pretty busy planning the mating ceremony. In fact this is my mate," He said gesturing towards me with his hand. "Daphne this is Susan, my mate. Susan, this is Daphne, an old friend."
Daphne glanced at me quickly and focused her gaze back on Paul. "Oh, now darlin', I ain't that old." She laughed and I had to hold off a visual cringe. I felt like my smile was frozen on my face, but I didn't want to embarrass Paul with an outburst.
Paul smiled and nodded at Daphne. "Well, I guess I'll see you around sugar," She said to Paul. Then she turned to me, looking me in the eyes. "Nice meeting you, Sarah," She said with a smirk only I could see.
I just smiled and nodded politely. I wasn't going to touch that one. She was itching for a fight and I couldn't do anything right now. But that bitch better never find me in an alley, that's for sure.
"It's Susan," Paul growled. Daphne and I both turned sharply in his direction. He was scowling, but not at Daphne. He was glaring at me.
Daphne apologized and hurried off. I barely noticed, because I was still staring at Paul. "What is it?" I asked. He kept his eyes fixed on mine and I was starting to get uncomfortable. I didn't understand the anger I saw. I thought I handled myself well when that tramp was pawing my mate.
I started to get angry when he didn't answer and I knew my eyes narrowed, but I caught myself and relaxed my features. His fist was clinched on the table by his wine glass so I placed my hand over it gently. I tried to smile reassuringly. "Honey, are you alright?"
To my surprise, he pulled his hand away from mine. I placed my hand back in my lap and waited for him to say something, anything, so I would know what was going on.
"No, I'm not alright," He finally said through clinched teeth. I frowned. Somehow I screwed up; I just didn't know how. Maybe I didn't suppress my cringe enough when Daphne laughed, I mused. Paul called the waiter over and asked for the check. We hadn't even eaten yet and he was ready to go. I flinched when he growled, "Let's go," which earned me another glare.
He took my arm, surprisingly gentle, as we made our way to the car. He helped me in as usual and got in to drive. We drove through town and turned down a street I didn't recognize. I wanted to ask where we were going, but I didn't want to anger him more.
We pulled into a parking lot and I saw that we were parked in front of a playground. I looked around not seeing anyone, so I turned to look at him questioningly. He was gripping the steering wheel with both hands and staring straight ahead. I wanted to reach out to him, comfort him, but I didn't think he wanted my touch right now. I could feel tears gathering in my eyes. I tried blinking them away, but they fell anyway. I couldn't believe I was crying. I hated to cry. I couldn't help it. I promised myself I would make him happy and I was failing. I hated to fail almost as much as I hated to cry.
"Do you want to go through with the ceremony?" He asked, his voiced sounded cold and distant.
"Yes, of course," I said confused. Didn't he see how much I wanted to be with him? I was changing for him, trying to be his mate.
He was still staring out the windshield when he asked, "Why did you change your mind so quickly the night we were together? You said you weren't ready to have a mate, but you came to me only a couple of hours later telling me different. Why?"
I wasn't prepared for that question. "I..." I didn't know what I should say to make him happy. "What does that have to do with anything? I just changed my mind is all," I said instead of answering.
"The truth," He growled.
I swallowed and looked down at my hands as if they had all the answers. I'd always prided myself on being a truthful person and I had been lacking honesty lately. Now was the time for truth. I knew that, but I was scared also. "I realized you were right. I am your mate and it's my duty to acknowledge that. I knew you had waited a long time to find a mate and I felt bad that it was me you found." I snorted. "I'm no prize that's for sure." I paused for moment thinking about the night I made my promise. I had to tell him everything or I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning.
"I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to make you happy. I didn't want to be responsible for the pain I saw in your eyes that night when I rejected you." I looked up at him with eyes still blurry with tears. What I saw made me cringe. He was glaring at me with eyes so hard and cold I couldn't believe this was the same guy I had fallen in love with. I just realized I was in love with him and I felt like I was losing him.
"So, you decided to go along with the mating ceremony because you felt guilty?" He asked coldly.
"No, not really. And If I recall correctly, you did say we were going to go through with the ceremony no matter what." He actually looked a little embarrassed at that reminder. "I wanted to be with you too, but I was scared." I looked out the window. "I'm not cut out to be a mate. I told you that, but you didn't listen to me. Well here I am, screwing everything up before we even make it official." I wiped the tears off my cheeks and sighed.
"Susan, look at me." I did, hesitantly. His face had relaxed some and his eyes held their usual warmth again. "What I want to know is; if you want to be with me then why have you been acting so stiff lately? You're not the same woman I met six months ago."
"I'm trying to act like a mate," I said baffled by his question.
He grinned slightly which puzzled me even more. "So you think a mate doesn't have fun," He stated.
"Well, not exactly," I retorted.
"Okay, what is your definition of the perfect mate?"
I blew out a breath and sat back looking up at the ceiling of the car. "Well, I think my mom made the perfect mate. She was always calm and professional, but also sweet and kind. I loved her very much, but I've never been like her. I've always been brash and temperamental. Traveling is my passion and I'm lucky I got to see some of the world before I found my mate. I know I have to change Paul."
I looked at him pleading with my eyes for him to understand. "I'm trying so hard to be your mate, but I'm obviously failing miserably. Please give me another chance to make you happy." My breath caught in my throat and a sob escaped. "Please, Paul, I love you."
I broke down. Suppressing who I was for two months had not been a good thing. I cried and sobbed so much the outside world became nonexistent for me. I didn't hear or feel Paul trying to comfort me. All I could feel was my grief. I cried for my parents, my friends and their families. I cried for all the families of my old pack. Soon I would add Paul to the list of those I grieved over. He wouldn't be dying soon like the others, but he was going to leave me. I sobbed harder at the thought of not having him with me anymore. I loved him so much and I was messing it up. I thought about how I was no longer me; I was a shell of who I used to be. I couldn't keep up this charade any longer and hopefully Paul would understand.
I don't know how long I cried but when my tears finally stopped I was surprised to see I was curled in Paul's lap in the passenger seat of his car. He was holding me close rubbing circles over my back. I lifted my head and saw the mess of mascara and tears all over his jacket. "I'm sorry," I said meaning for more than just the suit.
Paul looked down at me with concern. I felt bad that I made him worry. "You're okay, sweetheart. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard to do the ceremony, but you know how we males are. Once we find our mate we'll do anything to get her." He smiled sheepishly at me.
"No, it wasn't you pushing. I understand why you were. I was just so scared of losing my freedom that I wanted to keep my distance. Then when I realized there was no running, I wanted to be perfect for you." His amber eyes stayed focused on mine as I told him my fears. Then his brow wrinkled.
"So when you said you didn't want to lose your freedom, did you mean you wanted to date other men?" He growled.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He hesitated before returning the embrace. I sat back and smiled gently. "No, Paul. I don't want or need to date any other men. You're more than enough for me," I said with a wink.
He smiled back so I went on. "I meant that after the ceremony, I'll have to become the perfect mate. No more hanging out with friends, no more traveling, no more tantrums and no more fun. Basically, I knew my job would be to stay home with babies and to stay by your side and truthfully, I'm not ready for that. I've been practicing being the perfect mate and I'm no good at it."
"You're right you weren't good at it," He said. I cringed inside at his words. I looked down feeling sorry that I couldn't be the mate he needed me to be. Paul put a finger under my chin and lifted my face. "You weren't good at trying to be a stiff and I'm glad. I don't want that kind of mate, Susan. I want you. You're my perfect mate, temper and all." I smiled brightly at him. I was glad he said that because I really wasn't going to be able to keep up with the snooty act.
"Does that mean I can go back to that restaurant and rip Daphne's hair extensions out?"
Paul laughed loudly, his teeth gleaming in the moonlight drifting through the window. God, I loved his laugh. "Maybe later," He said. "You know that was the final straw. I saw you trying so hard to not growl and snap at her that I just couldn't take it anymore. I've noticed you changing and couldn't figure out what was going on.
"I tried getting you to hang out with Rebecca again by suggesting she help with the ceremony, but that didn't work. Even your clothes changed in small ways. You've been wearing less color. You were so vibrant before, that I couldn't keep my eyes off you, but lately I could see you dimming and it hurt to think I did that to you. I thought maybe forcing you to do the ceremony was making you depressed."
"I'm so sorry, Paul."
"It's alright now, sweetheart, but I want you to realize that I don't want you to change. You know I'm not that stuffy of a guy; I can have fun."
"But what about the condom prank? You were pissed when you found me." I reminded him.
He laughed. "Silly girl, I wasn't pissed. I was just putting up a front to try and scare you. Then once you were there in front of me all I could think about was touching you." He leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"Oh," I said.
"As for you settling down with babies and giving up your freedom? Well I think we should wait awhile before we have children. Then we could travel together and when we're ready, we can start our family. But that doesn't have to mean giving up your freedom. We'll have each other to get us through."
I kissed him hard. "Thank you," I whispered tears gathering in my eyes again. "You're welcome," He said. I kissed him again this time we didn't part for a long time.
His kisses were like chocolate. I couldn't get enough. I bit down on his bottom lip just to hear him growl. I smiled against his mouth then licked the sting away. One of his hands had slid down my back to cup my ass. He spanked me lightly. "You're asking for a punishment little girl."
I wiggled closer and felt his hardness press against my hip. "Hmmm, that sounds good," I said. He spanked me again a little harder and I groaned moving myself against him. "You're not supposed to ask for a punishment. You're supposed to beg me to stop," He said with a wicked grin.
"Well, I guess you'll have to punish me for not being perfect," I said leaning in to kiss him again.
"Hmmm, but you are perfect for me." He leaned back slightly and became serious again. "Don't ever change, Susan. Don't ever stop being the feisty red head I fell in love with."
I nodded. "I love you too, big guy."
"So you still want to go through with the ceremony?" He asked on the drive home. He was holding my hand and I felt so alive for the first time in months.
"Yes. Do you?"
"Absolutely. Where do you want to go on our honeymoon?"
"Oh, definitely somewhere warm and tropical. What about Tahiti? I've never been there."
"Then Tahiti it is," He said and kissed the hand he was holding.
Chapter 7
I woke stretching my body feeling the luxurious sheet beneath my naked skin. The sound of the water lapping against the bungalow was soothing and I snuggled back down. I looked over at Paul sleeping beside me. His features were relaxed in slumber and I suppressed my desire to wake him with a kiss. The past few days had been amazing. The mating ceremony took place as planned and was more beautiful than I could have dreamed.
The mansion had flowers and candles placed on every available surface and the backyard terrace was the same. Paul and I exchanged our vows under an arch of white roses with twinkle lights placed among them. It was romantic and tear jerking. I couldn't believe I cried. Paul was even surprised. He even asked if I was sure about going through with it. I told him they were happy tears and he seemed pleased.
The mating ceremony was basically the same as a human's wedding ceremony only with a few differences. I wore the traditional mating dress, which was white and flowed in the breeze like a night gown but nicer. It covered me completely from neck to toes but was also transparent. I couldn't wear underwear either but I wasn't embarrassed. It wasn't in our nature to be embarrassed of our nakedness. Paul wore something similar only much more masculine.
After the vows were exchanged we kissed and then bit each other's neck. That's one of the parts that were not quite like a human's wedding. Paul and I held each other close while we drank a little blood from our wounds. After we each licked the marks clean we kissed again and the pack howled.
We were then led to the edge of the woods where we changed into our wolf forms. Paul nuzzled my neck licking the mark he made then we ran. We ran through the trees hunting and playing. The moon was full and bright making the forest glow. The night breeze was cool and felt refreshing as it ruffled my fur. The pack joined us making the night perfect.