The Perfect Life (29 page)

That was the last time I ever saw Richard. I left three days later without saying goodbye to anyone. And although I didn’t go home that year for Christmas, by the time I was finally forced to return the following summer break, he’d already left my mom for someone else. She never mentioned that day to me, nor did she ever apologize.

Not even when he was arrested some years later for possession of child pornography with intent to distribute.

“She buried

her ears

into the calm

of his heartbeat,

and in a matter of seconds:

fell terribly in love

with the way

her loneliness fell

softly and suddenly,

asleep,

in his chest.”

–Christopher Poindexter

Monroe

OLIVER HELD ME
securely against him, soothingly stroking my back while I wept into his bare chest after finishing the first part of my story—the ugly part. I had only relived that day aloud one other time in my life, and that was when I’d explained to Colin and Seth that I had no interest in being intimate with Colin, or anyone else for that matter, for the rest of my life. At the time, the mere thought of someone else touching me in a sexual manner made my skin crawl.

But that was before I met Oliver.

“I’m so sorry, Monroe,” he whispered into my hair. “I hate that not only did you have to deal with something as vile and abhorrent as what that piece of shit put you through, but that you had to do it alone. No child should ever face that.”

Sniffling, I leaned back slightly in his arms so I could look up into his face. I needed to feel the comfort I could only find in his vibrant eyes. “Before you, I thought I was broken,” I confessed. “I couldn’t get over the repulsive, sick feeling I’d get anytime I thought about being with someone else in that way. I mean, sure, I thought boys were cute and stuff while I was growing up, and I like romantic movies and books just as much as the next girl, but when it came down to it, I just couldn’t. But then you changed everything.”

With the pad of his thumb, he brushed away the streaks of tears from my cheeks and smiled softly at me. “You’re not broken, Monroe. Far from it. When I see you, I see one of the most put-together people I’ve ever met. You’re sharp and intelligent, selfless and kindhearted, and beautiful beyond words. People flock to you like they just can’t get enough. They all want to be you.”

“But it’s all built on a façade,” I contended. “They want to be who they think I am. No one wants to live with the demons I have. I wouldn’t wish that upon the devil himself.”

“I know you wouldn’t, beautiful girl,” he leaned down and kissed me softly, “because that’s the part of you that’s selfless and kindhearted. People may not know about the things that happened in your past that made you who you are today, but you, Monroe, your spirit and your soul are not a façade. You’re one of the most genuine people I know.”

My heart swelled with warmth—with love. No one had ever made me feel so cherished and treasured before. Not even Colin.

“Aren’t you even a little curious about how my marriage plays into all this?” I squeaked, clinging to his chest like a life preserver.

Oliver chuckled softly as he squeezed me with his long, ropy arms. “I think it’s safe to say I’m a lot curious, especially knowing what I know now. Though I think I’ve got a pretty good idea, I’d rather you tell me so I’m not making any assumptions here.”

Pressing my lips to the hollow part of his throat where I could see his pulse beating, I breathed a peaceful sigh before I started talking again.

“I met Colin my first day on campus. I was running late to College Algebra, having not taken in account the geographic location of my classes when I’d set my schedule, so I rushed into the classroom just as the professor was taking roll, and naturally, there was only one open seat—in the very front row, right next to Colin.” A faint smile tugged at the corners of my mouth at the memory. “When class was over, he struck up a conversation with me like we’d been friends for years. Just jabbering on and on about how excited he was to be at school and about how different Ann Arbor was from where he grew up in Massachusetts as we walked across campus to the food court for lunch. We ended up eating together that day, and he didn’t shut up the whole time. I think I maybe said five words throughout the entire hour we were together. I just sat and listened and watched him eat the amount of food I normally consume in a week, and afterward, as if it was our norm, he ruffled my hair then told me he had to get to practice and that he’d see me on Wednesday. And on Wednesday, we did it all over again. Then, Friday too.”

I tilted my head back and peered up at Oliver’s relaxed face, his smile urging me on.

“Before long, Colin and I were inseparable. If we weren’t in class or he wasn’t at practice or me volunteering at the MH house, we were together. Soul mate best friends from the word go. And despite my reluctance to trust pretty much anyone, male or female, I knew immediately he would never hurt me. His heart is so kind and gentle, like a life-sized teddy bear. It was as if God knew he was exactly what I needed in my life at that time.”

“So when did you guys start dating, or how did that work out?” he prompted.

“We never really dated in the sense that most people think of it,” I explained carefully. “Like I said, we did everything together, so after a while, people just assumed we were a couple, and we went with it. I had no desire to really date anyone with my history, and he was focused on football and school, not the coeds looking to get knocked up so they could get a free ride when he got drafted in the pros. No one knew the kisses we exchanged in public were the extent of our physical relationship.”

Pinching his brow together in confusion, Oliver cocked his head to the side. “Okay, I’m with you so far, but why get married? I guess I understand your reasoning, but not his.”

I paused briefly to ponder how I could explain the next part without saying too much. The last thing I wanted to do was to lie to Oliver, but it wasn’t my place to tell Colin’s secret.

“Our marriage is a security blanket for both of us,” I expanded. “Colin knows I love him for who he is and that I won’t ever screw him over. I know Colin loves me equally and that he will provide for and protect me until the day he dies. We have fun together. We enjoy each other’s company. So it works for us. After everything that happened when I was younger, I never had a desire to be close to men . . . in that way. What Colin could provide for me was exactly what I always thought I needed. He gives me love, support, friendship . . . everything a marriage is. Just for us, for our marriage, we don’t have the sexual intimacy. Until now . . . I thought that’s the only thing I needed.”

“And sex? You don’t expect me to believe that your husband is a celibate man, do you?” he asked, not bothering to even sniff the bush, much less beat around it.

I shook my head while nervously rolling my bottom lip between my teeth. “No, I don’t,” I murmured, “but I don’t concern myself with Colin’s sexual activities. Whatever he does, whoever he does it with . . . he keeps it extremely discreet. He’s smart enough to not get caught. He knows the price he’d pay if something were to get out.”

Oliver opened his mouth to say something then closed it, giving his head a light shake. I worried for a split-second he was going to ask me the one question I knew I couldn’t answer, so when he hesitated, I started talking to get his mind off of Colin’s sex life.

“And as for me, like I said earlier, when I agreed to get married, I truly believed I would never find anyone I wanted to be sexually intimate with, so it wasn’t a concern of mine. I’m smart enough to realize the vast majority of humans are nothing like Richard was. Even though what happened to me still happens far too often to other victims, it’s not the norm. He was sick and twisted. But in all of the men I’ve met in whatever capacity over the last twelve years, some of who I thought were very nice people, never once have I had any desire to explore a physical relationship with any of them. That’s why I said I thought I was broken. Like my sex sensors didn’t work or something,” I laughed softly. Lifting up on my knees so I was eye-level with him, I cupped his jaw with my hands and rested my forehead on his. “Then, I met you.”

With a mischievous grin, he palmed my bare butt and lifted me up so that I was straddling his waist and I could feel his cock between my legs. “And then what happened?”

“Then I realized I just needed the right person to make me work.” I nipped at his bottom lip while sifting my fingers through his shoulder-length hair.

It was in that moment I decided Oliver had the best hair of anyone ever. Soft, thick, and silky, his chestnut waves were like something straight from a hair commercial. I could play with it for hours and be a happy camper. I had serious hair envy.

“Feels like you work perfectly to me,” he mumbled against my mouth as his shaft twitched underneath my bottom.

My lips parted on a quick inhale at the strange but arousing sensation, and when it stirred a second time, I instinctively rolled my hips against him, releasing a breathy whimper. “Yeah,” was all I could manage before he flipped me onto my back in a single sweeping motion.

As he hovered over me in all his naked glory, Oliver’s heated gaze swept over my equally bare body and a growl rumbled deep in his chest. “Tell me what happens next, Monroe. Tell me how I get you back in my bed tomorrow night, and the night after that,” he urged, his tone suddenly serious. “I promised you I’d be patient, and I know we need to take things slow, but fuck, babe . . . all I want to do is show you the countless ways I can take care of you.”

“I-uh . . .” I squeezed my upper thighs together as desire pooled in my center, struggling to concentrate on the answer he was waiting for. “I’m gonna talk to Colin tomorrow about everything, and then we’ll go from there. He already knows we kissed, and he’s also aware I think the world of you, so it’s not gonna come as that big of a shock to him.”

“You told him I kissed you?” His eyes widened with horror. “The guy probably thinks I’m a fucking schmuck who just goes around kissing other dudes’ wives.”

“Noooo.” I shook my head against the pillow, snickering under my breath. “Well, at least not anymore. Initially, he wanted to come over here and beat you up, but I convinced him that wasn’t a good plan. So after a little bit of time to think on it, he told me if I wanted to pursue something with you, he was cool with it, but I needed to keep him updated, and obviously not do anything stupid where we could be caught. Luckily for you and me, if we’re photographed just out and about together, it’s easily explained, because we are working on this project together. We just can’t have any physical contact unless we’re here or at my house, where we know it’s safe.”

Carefully lowering his body to mine, his lips found my neck and he began working his magic all over again. “So we’re safe right now?” he whispered into my delicate skin, working his way lower with each open-mouthed kiss.

“Mhmm,” I moaned as my hands found his hair yet again.

“Good, ‘cause I told you I wasn’t finished taking care of you.” He stopped his oral descent just before he reached the top of my mound and looked up at me, smirking roguishly. “If my beautiful girl is sore, I need to kiss her and make her feel better. Don’t you agree?”

“Most definitely,” I mumbled as my knees fell open for him. “Lots and lots of kisses.”

And kiss me, he did.

Lots and lots of times.

Until I felt much, much better.

Twice.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Oliver and I finally stopped talking and kissing, and we fell asleep with me snugly tucked up against him, my back to his chest. And it was in that same position I woke up just a few hours later to the sound of my cellphone ringing continuously. Looking down at the screen, I immediately knew something was very wrong.