"Only because we've both been too busy or too lazy or...something.
You told me you didn't want to be exclusive if I wasn't going to continue sleeping with you."
"I told you that so you
would
sleep with me again! Instead, you jump into the sack with this...this G.I. Joe? This guy looks like he stepped right out of a commercial for the marines. Jeez! I know I don't have six-pack abs, 251
but I never dreamt you were
that
shallow."
"I didn't sleep with him for his body."
"Then why'd you do it?" he asked.
Because she was in love with him. Already. She couldn't understand how it'd happened so fast. After starting to date Geoffrey, it'd taken her six months to decide she
might
sleep with him--
if
the planets were perfectly aligned and
if
the timing was right and
if
the mood struck her. Luke had been the complete opposite.
This had to be her punishment for thinking so harshly about her mother's inability to get over her father. "I..." She turned helplessly to Luke, and he took that as an invitation to step in.
"Look, this isn't a good time to discuss it. Why don't you head home and give Ava a call later on?"
Geoffrey's eyes glittered with a passion Ava had never witnessed before. Throwing his coffee on the ground, he stepped up, nose to nose with Luke. "You think you can order me around after--" his voice cracked "--
after taking what I want more than anything?"
Luke raised his hands. "I'd rather this didn't get ugly. You don't have to prove yourself to either one of us."
"It's already ugly, so fuck you!
You
leave!"
Luke tilted his head in warning. "Calm down."
"Or what? You'l
make
me?"
"If I have to."
Geoffrey finally turned away. "Would you listen to this cocky son of a bitch?"
"You're provoking him," Ava said.
"And he didn't do anything to provoke me?"
"I've done enough to ruin your day," Luke said, "so let's not make it worse. Go home and call her later. That's what you need to do."
"Tell him to leave instead, Ava," Geoffrey pleaded. "People make mistakes. We'l get past this. Maybe this was the trigger I needed to realize how much I care about you. I should've pushed for more intamacy long ago and...and returned to your bed before someone else could take my place."
No. She was glad he hadn't pushed. Maybe she would've given in and settled. Jonathan had been able to see that she was adrift and 252
susceptible, but she couldn't. Not until now. Now her eyes had been opened. After sleeping with Luke, she wouldn't be able to tolerate Geoffrey's touch. Their relationship had been yanked out of limbo and was suddenly over, because Luke had shown her how dispassionate she really was when it came to Geoffrey.
But she couldn't let Luke know that. Because letting him know he possessed even a piece of her heart gave him power--the kind of power her father had always abused. And she wouldn't become her mother, no matter what she had to do to avoid it.
"I'd like you both to go," she said softly. Then she held her head high and walked back to her former life, knowing it would no longer include either one of them. Geoffrey inspired too little in her; Luke inspired far too much.
Kalyna sat at Luke's kitchen table with her feet propped up on the opposite chair, nursing a cup of coffee as she read Phil's letter.
Hey, Luke--
Yeah, it's me. Surprised? I guess if you've received one letter from me, you've received your quota for life. But, hell, you're no better. I probably wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for that last phone call. I figured I'd at least try to explain where I'm coming from.
Okay, so you think I'm stupid to agree to another tour. You're right, it's hard on Marissa having me gone. But she knew I was going to be a marine when she married me. And...things between us, they're not so good. I know you don't like to talk about it. (It's true--I can imagine you standing there, shaking your head, but you change the subject every time I bring her up. She's the one thing we can't discuss, not without getting into a fight, which is why I decided to put my thoughts in a letter.) So...basically, I'm hoping the time away wil give me and Marissa a break from the constant conflict. We were in love, once. I think. But I'm afraid that's gone. I can feel it slipping away from us.
So maybe I'm running away from my problems, like you said. Shit, that's possible. I don't want to face what's coming--I'd rather deal with bullets than that kind of pain. That's why you gotta cut me some slack for 253
making this choice, buddy. I'm a marine. I'm good at my job. I feel successful here. But I'm a failure around Marissa. It's not that she isn't a good woman. We're just too different. If you talk to her, tell her I'm sorry, okay? Maybe she'l believe it coming from you. And...I don't know if I should add this or not, but...what the hell. As long as I'm being honest I might as well. I understand the sacrifice you made so we could be together. I've ignored it all these years. I didn't want to feel like I was the selfish one who took what he wanted. But I know you were in love with Marissa, too, back in high school. You stepped aside, and I thank you for that. And for staying out of the way, for giving me a real shot. Now I almost wish it had gone down differently. I'm sure you would've made her a better husband, would've made her happy somehow.
But history is history. We can't change the past. And regret wil eat you up if you let it.
Just wanted you to know I'm not a complete prick.
Phil
Marissa...Kalyna glanced at the return address....
Marissa Hughes.
Phil said Luke had loved her once. But he couldn't have loved her too much, or he wouldn't have given her up.
Her cell phone rang.
Thinking it was probably her sister
again,
Kalyna took her time digging it out of her purse. She was surprised she had enough battery power to receive another call. She'd left her car charger in Jerry's semi and had thought her phone would be dead by now.
But it wasn't dead yet. And the call wasn't from Tati. It came from a restricted number.
The police?
Taking a deep breath, she answered. She had to sound heartbroken, credible. She knew the routine. Only it wasn't the police. It was Major Ogitani.
"Kalyna?"
"Yes?"
"I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Kalyna didn't bother bracing herself. She'd been expecting this.
254
"What is it?"
"I just returned one of many messages I've had from Ava Bixby at The Last Stand."
"Oh, yeah? What did she want?"
"She had some very interesting things to say."
That bitch. Ogitani and Ava were both bitches. Neither of them was any good to her anymore.
"Let me guess. She thinks I injured myself."
"Yes, and she said your father wil testify that you've done it before, in violent fits of rage."
Of course her father would testify, in retaliation for Norma.
"She also said she has proof that you showed sexual interest in Captain Trussell long before the night in question."
"So you're dropping the charges?" she said, getting straight to the point.
"That's right."
"Okay."
Her easy acceptance met with silence. Then Ogitani said, "You're not even going to
pretend
surprise?"
"Nope."
"So you were lying, Kalyna?" she asked, obviously appalled. "During our entire interview?"
Kalyna nearly laughed out loud. Ogitani felt like a fool because she'd bought into the act. Even now, she was hoping for something to salvage her pride. But Kalyna had nothing to offer her. Thanks to Ava, Kalyna had been forced to change plans. "Of course not," she said. "But I might've been a little confused."
"I think you need professional help," she snapped, but Kalyna didn't give her a chance to vent any further. She was getting another call, and she needed to have enough battery power left to take it. This was the one she'd been waiting for--from the Mesa police.
Luke was in his car on the way home when his mother called. He'd already noticed that he'd missed several calls from Robin earlier, when his phone was in Ava's cabin on the boat and he was out with Ava on the bank 255
of the river, but he hadn't returned them. It was Monday morning. He'd thought she'd be at work. Besides, he'd been busy confirming his leave.
And he didn't feel like talking to anyone about anything personal. The night he'd spent with Ava had ended too badly. He stil hadn't completely grasped what had happened. But his mother had tried to reach him so many times he was afraid there might be some sort of an emergency. He had to answer.
"Hello?"
"Luke, why haven't you called me?" she demanded.
He thought of those last few minutes with Ava, when he'd had to get to his feet buck naked in front of the man she'd been dating for more than a year, and shook his head in disbelief. He'd seen better days. "My battery was dead," he said to cut the explanation as short as possible.
Fortunately, she let it go at that. Apparently, she was worked up about something else. "When were you going to tell us?" she asked.
His blinker clicked as he switched lanes. "Tell you what?"
"About the baby."
He turned down the volume on his stereo, which he'd been blasting in an effort to numb his brain. "What baby?"
"Don't pretend you don't know! I just spoke with Kalyna."
"You
what?"
"You heard me."
"But...how? Why?"
"What do you mean how? I called your house and she picked up."
What the hell was going on? "That can't be true."
His mother hesitated as if she was suddenly as confused as he was.
"It
is
true. It was your number. She answered and said you were out getting the two of you some breakfast."
"I haven't even been home since yesterday!"
"Where've you been?"
He really didn't want to go into the fact that he'd been with
another
woman. After avoiding trouble for a number of years, he was suddenly screwing up al over the place. "A friend put me up."
"Oh. So why would Kalyna tell me you were getting breakfast? She said you two were back together. She said you're expecting a baby. She 256
even said you were going to Vegas to get married!"
Dodging traffic, he accelerated. While driving, it was il egal to use a cell phone in California without a Bluetooth, and he'd left his Bluetooth somewhere, maybe at Ava's. He was going to have to risk talking on his cell, along with speeding. If Kalyna had answered his phone, she was in his apartment. How, he couldn't imagine. He'd locked up. He remembered doing it because he'd retrieved his spare key at the same time. It was lying right there, on his console.
"First of all, we're not back together." He darted through the gap between two other cars to get in the fast lane. "We were
never
together, except that one night." A woman honked and flipped him off as he whipped around her, but he didn't care. He was going home, and he was doing it as fast as possible. "Second, okay...there might be a baby. But she's lied about so many other things, I'm not sure. And third, there's no way we're getting married. I'd sooner be castrated."
What his mother had told him wasn't welcome news, but Luke was almost relieved to have an outlet for the surfeit of emotion that had been coursing through him ever since he'd left Ava's. Geoffrey had waited in his car while Luke gathered up his belongings--to make sure Luke drove away.
But Luke hadn't waited to see if Geoffrey did the same. He didn't have any problem with Geoffrey, not really. It was Ava who'd upset him. He'd thought they were at the start of something new, something with potential--but she'd acted as if last night meant nothing to her, as if she was happy just to have proved she could make love with the best of them. Now she was done with him.
"Didn't you lock your apartment?" his mother asked.
"I did. I don't know how she got in."
"Why would she act as though she's about to be part of our family?
How does that benefit her?"
He saw a highway patrol car up ahead and forced himself to slow down. It wouldn't help him to get pulled over; it would only take that much longer to reach Fairfield. "She'd like to be, I guess. Heck, I don't know.
She's not right in the head."
"She told me she's deeply in love with you. And she seemed so sincere. She said she wants you to bring her down to meet us."
257
Kalyna was trying to infiltrate every aspect of his life. How was he going to stop her? What could he do? Get a restraining order? Maybe, but he wasn't even sure he could prove what he needed to in order to do that.
He was in the military. He couldn't imagine the cops being too worried about protecting him from a woman.
He doubted Kalyna would respect it, anyway.
"Don't listen to her," he told his mother. "Don't believe a damn thing she says. Just stay as far away from her as possible."
"I--I won't talk to her again. Of course I won't, now that I know. But..."
She sounded worried. "What?"
"I gave her our address, Luke. She knows where we live. Is that okay?"
He slowed even more. "You
what?"
"She said she'd mail me a copy of the ultrasound. I wanted to see the baby, so...I told her where to send it."
"No..." he said with a groan.
"I'm afraid so. I believed her. She was in your apartment at seven o'clock in the morning. I assumed you knew she was there. And I'm not used to having anyone lie to me like that, right to my face, and about stuff that's so...so easy to disprove. Why would she do that? What does she have to gain from it?"
"She's obsessed with me, Mom. She wants to believe that what she's saying is true."
"She said she loves you."
"That doesn't make her a nice person."
Now what? he wondered. Why would Kalyna have asked for his parents' address unless she planned on going down there?
His mother was stil trying to make him understand. "But she knew so much about you. She was very convincing. She asked after Jenny and my work and..."