The Perfect Family (4 page)

As he’d told her in Cancun, Maggie was drifting from the church, and it nearly broke his heart. In some ways, he felt like he was being forced to choose between her and his God. Father Pete assured him that God wouldn’t let that happen and that his role was to keep his wife in the fold.

Craig’s expression was sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted her here.”

Mike’s gaze rested on Judy, petite and blond, who was talking to Father Pete across the room. “You’re lucky you’re on the same page with your wife.”

“Let’s have dinner Friday night. Maybe we can bring Maggie up to speed.”

Maggie would have a fit if all three of them ganged up on her, and besides, Mike would never put her in that position. “No to the latter. But dinner would be fun. Come to our house, I’ll cook steaks. We’ll relax and talk about politics and education.”

Craig clapped him on the back. “I’ll pray for her. And you.”

“Thanks, we all need that.”

Mike spent the drive home praying, too, for insight on how to handle this divisiveness between him and the woman he loved, next to God, more than anything else in the world.

*

In Advanced Placement English two weeks after Christmas break, Jamie dragged his desk close to Julianne’s to discuss the current topic Ms. Carson had assigned. “So, what did
you
think about why Othello believed Iago?”

His friend’s hazel eyes sparked with fire. “He’s a guy. His ego gets in the way and jealousy gets the better of him.”

“Not all guys are like that, Jules.”

“You, James Michael Davidson, are a breed of your own.” She meant it as a compliment, but once again hearing how different he was annoyed him. “What do you think?”

Jamie shrugged. “Othello feared Desdemona would reject him, so Iago could convince him she was unfaithful and ready to do just that. People are so afraid of rejection, they don’t think straight. And they do stupid things because of it.”

Flushing, she tried to be nonchalant. “People get rejected all the time.”

For the life of him, Jamie couldn’t figure out girls. Julianne was probably referring to the popular jock who’d asked her out, strung her along, and then broke up with her a couple of months later because she wouldn’t put out for him. She’d convinced Jamie to fill in for her deadhead boyfriend and take her to the Junior/Senior Valentine’s Ball next month.

Jamie had been staring into space and brought himself back to the present. “Some rejections are worse than others.”

Frowning, Julianne leaned toward him and grasped his arm. “You okay, Jame? What were you thinking about?”

“Seems to me family rejection would be the worst. If your friends turn on you, I think you can accept it. But if your parents and family reject you, can you bounce back from
that
?”

“As if that would ever happen to you. You’ve got the best parents in the world.”

Jamie’s smile didn’t come easily. His insecurities always came out at times like this. He thought of his mom, how much he liked her as a person, loved her as his mother. She’d been his unconditional supporter all his life. What would he do if he ever lost that? He wasn’t sure he could survive. “It happened with my mom’s family. They kicked her older sister out because she married a divorced man.”

“You never told me that.”

Because Julianne was a fundamentalist Christian, sometimes Jamie had a hard time talking to her. In the last year, she’d gotten even stauncher in her conservative views. “It never came up.”

“No matter what, Jame, you’ll never be rejected by God.”

“Never?”

“Well, not if you’re sorry for your sins.”

“What—”

Ms. Carson asked for everybody’s attention. “Let’s come back into the circle and hear what you think about the Moor’s reaction to Iago.”

After a general class discussion, the teacher handed back their journals. “I enjoyed these. I wrote my responses on the ones I could read. A reminder: only four assignments per month can be confidential. Here’s the list of this week’s topics.”

She gave the papers to Jamie, who sat next to her. As the sheets went around, Ms. Carson bent over so only he could hear her. “Can you stay a minute after class?”

English was the last period of the day. “Yeah, sure. I have a quick blood drive meeting”—he was in charge of the school-wide collection that year—“then play practice, but not until three.”

While the kids put the chairs in rows, Paul, one of Jamie’s friends who played the villain in
Brigadoon
, came up to him. “Wanna run some lines before practice?”

“I gotta talk to Ms. C first.”

“We’ll meet you in the cafeteria.”

Jamie watched Paul walk out the door and meet up with Nick. The two guys were gay. They didn’t announce it, but had confided in close friends like Jamie. And they never said they were together—Jamie thought they were, but pretended they were just buddies. They’d be harassed if they came out as a couple, even today when there were laws against discrimination. Sometimes the little town of Sherwood seemed to exist in another time period, a lot like Brigadoon.

When the classroom emptied, Jamie sat on top one of the desks. “What’s up?” he asked Ms. Carson.

“You had another private entry.”

“Yeah. My limit for the month.”

“How come, Jame? This unit seemed to make you go more into yourself.”

His heart started to beat fast. He liked Ms. Carson a lot—so did all the kids, even Brian, who had her for an English Comp class. Every year she was voted the favorite teacher in silly polls the seniors took. Some of the guys had a crush on her. Jamie didn’t, but he thought he might be able to confide in her. “I know I’ve been more into myself.” He shrugged. “Stuff has started coming up for me.”

She touched his shoulder. “I’m a good listener. Can I help?”

“How?”

“We could start by letting me read those entries.”

Fear batted against his chest and he glanced away. “Maybe.”

“It makes you nervous for me to do that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then we should wait if you’re not ready.”

“No, maybe you’re right. Can I have time to read them over again? I think I want you to see them, but I gotta be sure.”

“I’ll go to the teachers’ caf to get a Coke. Take your time. Do you want a drink?”

“No, I’m good.”

Which was a lie. His pulse was beating a wild tattoo.

After Ms. C left, Jamie picked up his journal, the cover decorated with all his favorite indie bands. Often, he wrote poetry in it because the format helped him to get his feelings out better, to not bullshit himself. The last four entries were in verse.

He scanned the first. Reread the second, as it was more revealing.

Free to Be You and Me

When we were little

Mom read a book aloud to us.

In it kids could be who they are.

William could have a doll

And you didn’t have to marry a prince.

She said all people

Were meant to be free,

Men and women fought for it.

Died for it.

Countries split apart

For people’s rights.

Even the bird, the whale, the tiger

Have a freedom I don’t have.

Why?

Anger gives way to fear

And I don’t act.

Yet.

Ah, the all purpose yet.

It should be soon.

It will be soon.

But an inner voice recants,

I
hope
it will be soon.

Swallowing hard, Jamie read the last two poems, which went even further, which revealed more things he’d never told anybody, not even his mother. But down deep, Jamie knew when he’d written the entries, he’d wanted Ms. Carson to read them. Telling her could be like a dress rehearsal.

She returned in five minutes. “All done?”

“Yeah.”

Crossing to her desk, she leaned against it and sipped her drink. “You don’t seem like you really want to let me read the entries, Jame.”

“No, I do. Honest. Besides, you said during the war unit that the best time to do something is when it’s hard for you.”

“How smart I am.” Smiling, she held out her hand, and it took more courage than David facing Goliath to give his journal to her.

“I’ll read what you wrote now. Want to come back after practice?”

“It’ll be about five.”

“This is important, so I can hang around. Besides, I have papers to grade.”

“Five it is.” He stood. “I gotta go.”

“Jamie, don’t worry. I care about you.” She did, he knew that. “And I don’t judge.”

“Gotcha. See you later.”

Jamie stepped out of the classroom, and amidst the crowds of kids jostling each other and talking loud, he tried to be cool. But heading down the hall, the fear he was talking to Julianne about caught up with him and he hoped like hell he hadn’t just made a big mistake.

*

Sweat poured off Brian’s face as he lay on the bench and hefted the barbell above his head. A fifty-pound weight loaded down each end. Even his hands were slippery beneath his workout gloves.

“Come on, Davidson, go for the burn. One more.” His friend Tony Simonetti spotted from the side.

Grunting, Brian did one last rep. The weights clanged as Tony helped hook the bar into its holder. Brian collapsed into the bench, breathing hard.

His buddy glanced from side to side, then bent over low. “If you’d take some of that juice Cummings got for us, this wouldn’t be so brutal.”

“Eric Cummings is an asshole.” The guy did have muscles, but not from hard work. “And you’re a fool if you take that stuff.”

“Maybe. I’m not sure yet.”

Once in a while, Brian thought about using steroids. A lot of athletes were into them. When he told his brother what he was considering, Jamie dug up some research that scared the shit out of Brian. Heart trouble. Liver damage. But shrunken testicles sealed the deal. He wasn’t messing around with his balls.

A whistle sounded from Coach Perkins. Coach was so cool. He shaved his head and wore sweats all day. Brian thought he might want to be a PE teacher, too.

At the signal, Brian headed to the next station. This time he was paired up with Luke Crane. “How’s the shoulder?” Brian asked.

“Better. I’m gonna be able to start on opening day.”

Luke was a nice guy, the pitcher on their baseball team and valedictorian of the class. The girls hung around him all the time because of his dark blond hair and delicate features, though his body was way more pumped than anyone else’s. When Brian joked once to Jamie that Luke was almost pretty, Jamie had told him not to be such a tool.

Brian pointed to the weights. “You wanna go first?”

“Yeah.” Spreading his legs, Luke positioned his arms and Brian loaded a barbell with more pounds than he himself could handle. Luke grunted through four squats.

“That’s enough, Luke, don’t kill yourself.”

“Gotta get to five.” His face was red and his mouth pinched tight but he didn’t stop. Man, the guy was driven.

After they finished and showered, Brian put on jeans and his Sherwood High sweatshirt, hurried out of the gym area and headed down to the locker he shared with Heather. She had cheerleading practice and finished about the same time as him. He found her bending over with her cute fleece-covered butt stuck in the air. Seeing nobody was around, he crept up behind her and palmed her cheeks. She startled, then said, “Is that you, Luke?”

“Like hell. Crane would never move in on me.”

Heather straightened and when she faced him, her hair bobbed in its ponytail and her dark eyes sparkled in delight. “Hi, guy.”

His heart flip-flopped in his chest. Not only did she give him a boner by just looking at him, but she made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Hey, beautiful.” He kissed her on the mouth. “Hmmm.”

She drew back when they heard a noise down the hall. Brian turned and saw Jamie approaching.

“Get a room!” his brother said when he reached them.

Brian told him to fuck off, then playfully socked him in the arm. “Need a ride?”

They shared a Prius hybrid, which his mom’s brother, Uncle Jimmy, had given them when he’d bought a newer model. Jamie was really into the environmental stuff, too, but Brian never gave it much thought.

“No, thanks. I gotta go over some songs with Ms. Marlo as soon as she finishes with the dancers. I’ll hitch a ride with somebody else. See ya later.”

Brian shrugged into his coat and was waiting for Heather to do the same when he saw Luke Crane come around the corner and bump into Jamie. They stood and talked for a few minutes and Luke smiled. The guy didn’t do that a lot, was always real serious. But Jamie had that effect on everybody. He made people happy, and it was a talent Brian admired in his brother.