The Patriot Girl (22 page)

Great—mystery solved.
“Was he some famous singer?”

“Oh, gosh, no.” She looked up. “He was my first love.”

Dustin covered his mouth to prevent spitting coffee all over the bar. “There was someone before Dad?”

She nodded. “Frankie and I were in love. My father always got in our way. He didn’t care for Frankie. He wasn’t rich enough, or smart enough.”

“Wow.”

She laughed. “He now owns Kennedy Mutual Bank.” She met her son’s gaze. “I wonder what your grandfather would think of Frankie now, if he were alive today.” Her brow rose.

The sarcasm in his mother’s tone made Dustin chuckle. The older she became, the more he saw his grandmother in her—which wasn’t a bad thing. His grandmother had been a vibrant old woman who wouldn’t take crap from anyone and she loved her family more than anything else on earth.

“What does this have to do with MaKayla?”

“You two have a past getting in
your
way. I know what she’s going through—wondering what people would say if she dated you. Well, I say ‘screw everyone.’ She should do what makes her happy. And you should too. Don’t worry about anything but the two of you.”

MaKayla
had
mentioned worrying about Alex, but her son was okay with them. “Who, besides her son, would she be worried about?”

“Her family,
his
family.”

It had never crossed Dustin’s mind about Paul’s family, and their probable disapproval. Women were different in their thinking about such things. “I wouldn’t have a problem with either of their families, Mom, so it never occurred to me.”

“She has some soul-searching to do, Dustin. But I think she’ll come around.”

“I’ll go talk to her tonight. I do appreciate your concern, Mom, and your help, but please let me handle this from now on.” He smiled and touched her hand.

Vicky nodded and finished her drink. “Okay. I’d better go and make your step-father his breakfast.”

Dustin walked his mother outside. The winter wind blew through his hair. Today could be the longest day in history, until he could go and apologize to MaKayla.

****

Jodi walked MaKayla back to her office. “You’re quiet today.”

MaKayla should have known there was a reason her friend was sniffing around. Normally, Jodi went home for an afternoon rendezvous with Duke and didn’t sit in the break room for lunch. Why today, of all days, had her friend decided to be lunch pals? There was a lot on her mind and she wasn’t in a talkative mood. “I’m tired.”

“Liar. You’re only quiet when your mind’s racing. Spill it. Maybe I can help you sort things out.”

This would be a useless conversation. Jodi’s libido and one-way thinking would advise MaKayla to date Dustin, for no other reason than to have a lovemaking partner. But there was so much more to them dating than living between the sheets.

Would Dustin be able to sleep under the same roof she and Paul once shared? There was just no way she would give up her house. Would he be comfortable being in the presence of Paul’s parents during family events? There were too many unanswered questions.

No, Jodi couldn’t solve these problems. This decision had to come from within. Her head was beginning to hurt. “I’ll figure this one out on my own, Jodi. Thanks.”

“It’s about
him
, isn’t it?”

Was she that transparent? She could have been upset about her new business or about Alex being away from home. MaKayla perceived her best friend would know she wasn’t telling the truth the minute the words passed through her lips because her voice would crack.

“Okay, yes, it’s about Dustin. His mother stopped by my house yesterday.”

Jodi sat down. “Go on.”

There was no stopping now. After she finished the story, she sat in the chair behind her desk and said, “She more or less told me to do what
I
wanted and not to worry so much about what other people think.”

“What a very smart woman.”

“She also suggested I
let go of the past
.” MaKayla should have those last five words looped on a tape recorder set on replay.

“What other choice do you have? Paul’s not coming back. What are you holding on to, MaKayla?”

“Don’t start.”

“Someone has to.”

MaKayla pointed a finger. “Not again.”

“I’ll stop when you face reality.”

“I don’t want to hear this, Jodi. Stop it”

“Not until you say it.”

Silence.
MaKayla wasn’t about to say another word.

“Say Paul’s
gone
, MaKayla.” Jodi raised her voice. “Say he’s not on a business trip.”

“Okay, okay, Paul’s gone!”

Her body went numb. Her hands trembled and her throat tightened. There’d been reasons why she’d never said those words aloud. It had been her way of keeping her emotions together these past few years.

Why was her friend making her do this? Sometimes, Jodi could be a real pain in the ass. And to put her through this on a workday? “Happy now?”

“I’m getting there. You also need to realize that dating another man isn’t cheating. But first you have to admit and understand that what’s keeping you from moving on is that you’re waiting for Paul to return. And that’s not going to happen.”

MaKayla put her hand on her face as if Jodi’s words had reached across the desk and slapped her. “That’s not the reason—” Tears streamed down her cheek and her stomach knotted.

So many times she’d pushed her feelings aside when Paul had left for Texas on business trips. Shutting down had helped to not miss him so much. Now she saw, that in a way, that’s what she’d been doing for the past three years.

Awareness set in. She would never welcome him at their front door again. He would not witness Alex graduating from college, nor hold his first grandchild—milestones in their son’s life they had always looked forward to.

She gasped for air as the life she’d grown content with, behind her brick wall, crashed down around her.

“Oh my God.” She met her friend’s gaze. “Paul’s gone. He’s never coming home?” Her voice pitched, but her heart knew she’d finally made the realization. “Paul’s never, ever, coming home to me again. Is he?”

Jodi scurried around the desk and dropped to one knee. “No, baby, he’s not.”

MaKayla sobbed on her friend’s shoulder as her arms wrapped around Jodi’s neck holding on for dear life. “I know he’s not coming home. I watched him being buried.”

For the past four months she’d intentionally shut down to avoid facing her feelings for Dustin. But truthfully, she’d been closed off emotionally since Paul’s death.

She didn’t want to face being a single parent. They would never have their dream vacations. They would not grow old together. She hadn’t wanted to live the rest of her life alone, and could not face that she’d never hear him say “I love you” again.

“I miss him, Jodi.”

“I know. We all do. MaKayla, you can’t lay in that box with him. It’s not fair to you or Alex. You know Paul would want you to move on.”

MaKayla reached for a tissue. “I know. But how do I do that?”

“One day at a time.”

****

MaKayla was glad to be home. The puffiness beneath her eyes from crying was starting to diminish and the revelations of Jodi’s words were sinking in.

At first she’d felt that her friend had done the meanest thing anyone could do to another friend. By the day’s end, she realized Jodi had done her a favor.

She now understood the meaning of crying until she couldn’t cry anymore. She’d waited until she arrived home to finish her lamentations. For the first time in three years she felt a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Lighting the fireplace and sipping a cup of tea helped her to relax and allow herself to accept that Paul
would
want her to be happy. She’d been holding on to a man who could never hold her in return. She understood now that if she let go, maybe in a spiritual way, Paul would be at peace too.

The phone rang. She guzzled her last ounce of tea to clear her throat before answering. If Alex were on the other end, she didn’t need him picking up on the fact she’d been crying. Even a forced smile might help to lighten her mood. “Hello?”

“Hey, honey, are you still mad at me?”

She sighed as Jodi’s voice came through. “I was never mad. I’m figuring out what a huge favor you were doing for me at the time. Thanks for the tough love today.”

“How about we go to the club for a drink? That’ll make you feel better.”

“Thanks, but I need some alone-time right now.” She’d already showered and slipped into her nightgown and robe. Her body was emotionally drained. Besides, her bloodshot eyes weren’t ready for public viewing. She also knew there was a risk of breaking down again if the wrong thing was said.

“Well, you call me if you need to talk.”

The doorbell rang. “Hold on, Jodi. Someone’s at the door.” She hoped it wasn’t Dustin’s mother again. Between Vicky and Jodi, her emotions had been sent on a whirlwind these past forty-eight hours. “Who is it?”

“MaKayla, it’s Dustin. I need to talk to you.”

She unlocked the door and waved him inside. “Jodi, it’s Dustin. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She disconnected and then forced a smile at the man who was the center of her emotional trauma. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “Are
you
okay?” His thumb caressed beneath her eye. “You’ve been crying.”

Once the floodgates that were her eyes opened she clearly saw what stood in front of her. Here was a wonderful man who’d put his life on the line to save hers during a bank robbery. He was kind and funny. He made her feel attractive and safe. He was exactly the man she had wanted—before learning of their shared past.

The way he held her right now, wanting to protect her from the world, was enough to know he loved her. She didn’t even need to hear the words.

He pulled her closer. “I hope this doesn’t have anything to do with my mother’s visit.” He lifted her chin with his fingers. “Did she upset you?”

“No.” MaKayla stepped back and stared deep into his brown eyes. Somewhere within her soul she felt their hearts were attached, beating side-by-side. He’d stolen her heart sometime between their first meeting and this one, and now with an open mind, she wasn’t afraid to admit it.

She broke the stare and wiped her eyes. Reality might have become clearer, but now what was she supposed to do about it? “I’ve been a mess all day. I’m sorry. You caught me at a bad time.”

He held her hand. “I caught you at the right time. You need a shoulder, and I have two available.”

His smile and gentle tug impelled her body to press against his chest, her head to rest upon his shoulder, and her arms to wrap tightly around his neck.

Where would she ever find another man like him? Even if her mind were telling her this was a bad idea, her heart could not agree. Which one should she listen to?

Her lips kissed the side of his neck as her heart swelled. Her body became aroused by his ever-present scent of shampoo and soap. Guess she had her answer.

“MaKayla? What are you doing?”

Her teeth grazed his earlobe as she removed his jacket and tossed it on the railing beside her. “Do you still want me, Dustin?”

His hands rested on her bottom and he pulled her against his hardened groin. “You have no idea how much.”

“Oh, I have a pretty good idea.” She pushed back and gently tugged his bottom lip with her teeth. “Make love to me.”

“Not like this. You’re upset.”

Her mouth pressed against his and her tongue slid deep inside. Being upset had nothing to do with not having known what she wanted. She’d been fighting him for too long. “I’m not upset, Dustin. I’m free.”

“Free?”

She made a growling sound then smiled. “Free to do whatever the heck I want.”

He smirked. “Have you been drinking?”

She giggled. “Not this time. It’s
you
bringing out the animal in me. Right now, I need you to tame the wild beast.”

“I don’t want you regretting anything in the morning.”

“The only thing I’d regret would be if you walked out the door right now.”

“How about we sit and discuss this?”

“I’m done talking.”

He pulled her to the sofa and sat beside her. “Okay, what’s this all about?”

She untied her robe, kicked a leg over his lap, and sat down. Her hands glided up his chest.

How could she explain what she was feeling when she didn’t know herself? All she knew was that she needed to feel him inside her right now. She needed him to be as rough and wild with her as a man could be.

“
This
is about going after what I want. And right now I want you. Don’t ask me to explain, because I can’t. I just know I want you to rip my robe off and make love to me.”

He bit his bottom lip and smirked. “I don’t want our first time to also be our last.”

“It won’t be, if you do it right.” She smiled.

“Oh, yeah?” His fingers trailed across her cheek then over her lips. She tossed her head back as his hands continued to trail down her neck and then lingered on the swells of her breasts. Her breath hitched as his fingers circled her nipple through the silk of her gown.

“If you don’t stop me now, MaKayla, they’ll be no turning back.”

She rose to her knees then slid her robe off. His face was inches from her chest. The intimate view sent arousing stimulation through her body.

His tongue peeked out from between his lips and licked her cleavage as his hands glided across her buttocks and pulled her against him. The crackling fire and their breathing were the only sounds in the room.

He moaned. “I’ve dreamt about his moment, many times.”

His hands glided upward beneath her silk nightgown. His warm touch against her skin was an invitation for her gaggle of goose bumps to come out and play. His thumbs brushed her nipples and for a split second paralyzed every nerve in her body. His touch was more erotic than she had ever imagined.