The Patricia Kiyono Christmas Collection (34 page)

They made her way to the lobby where several
volunteers filled cups from two large urns of coffee. She took a
cup and stepped off to the side of the table. Her senses heightened
just before she felt a warm hand on her elbow.

“
Good morning.” The deep,
velvety voice calmed and excited her at the same time.

She met his eyes. “Good morning. I hoped I’d
see you here.”

He nodded. “Me too. I wanted to
apologize—”

She cut him off with a wave of her hand.
“No, I need to apologize. You saw something that looked out of
place and wanted to help.” She looked around to see if anyone was
listening before continuing. “I still don’t like to think anyone is
doing anything out of place or harmful to me. But I’m flattered and
grateful to you for caring enough to be concerned and wanting to do
something about it. Thank you.”

He smiled then, and her heart turned over.
“I called my friend and told him to forget about looking into
Paul’s finances. It’s really none of my business, and I shouldn’t
have stepped in like that. You’re very precious to me, and I wanted
to protect you, but not if it’s going to hurt you or those you
love. Will you forgive me?”

“
I already
have.”

He took her hands. “Wonderful. I’m sure you
have plans today with your family, and I need to spend time with
mine. But save some time for me this evening, all right?”

She beamed. “Of course.”

Helen cast a
quick look around her kitchen. After the delicious
dinner at Paul’s house, she’d come home and napped awhile. She
loved being with her boys and their families, but the football
games didn’t hold her interest, and she wanted to be ready when
Mike came. He hadn’t said what time he’d arrive, so she busied
herself by straightening little corners of the house.

She decided to make herself a cup of herbal
tea. Since her life had slowed down, she’d discovered she couldn’t
drink caffeine after lunch if she wanted to sleep at night. And she
needed to be up early the next day. Howard had recovered from his
heart attack and was back to work on a limited basis, and he’d
called to reschedule her appointment to go over her bank
statements. At dinner that afternoon she’d asked Paul for the
statements, but he’d been unable to find them. That meant she’d
need to go to the bank before her appointment with Howard.

But before she reached the kettle, someone
knocked on the back door. Mike usually knocked and then opened the
door, but whoever this was didn’t enter.

“
Who is it?” she called.
Chances were good it was someone she knew, but horror stories of
things that happened to widows alone in their homes had her
reacting with more caution these days. Especially after
dark.

“
It’s Paul. And Nancy,” her
son’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“
Paul? Nancy?” She opened
the door quickly. “Oh goodness, come in. Is something
wrong?”

Nancy spoke first. Her face was puffy and
red, and she gripped several tissues in her hand. “I’m afraid so.
Let’s sit down. We have something to tell you.”

Helen led the way to her dining room and
sat. Paul looked worse than she’d ever seen him. His hair was a
mess, his eyes wild, and he seemed… smaller. She reached out to
him, but he turned away. For a moment, she ached for the little boy
he’d been, when he’d allowed her to tend to his scrapes and
hurts.

Paul took the chair next to
her, while Nancy stepped over to the coffee pot.
This isn’t a good sign. If we need coffee, we’re
going to be here for a long, serious talk. Is he going to berate me
for seeing Mike? Does he think Howard is lying to me?
She wrung her hands, waiting for one of them to
say something. The coffee pot gurgled, and the leaky faucet in the
kitchen dripped, but there was no other sound. Helen wondered
whether she should say something.

Finally Nancy spoke to her husband. “Paul,
you tell her now, or I will.”

Paul squirmed and stared at the table.
“Howard was right,” he mumbled.

“
What?”
He didn’t just say what I thought he said.

He cleared his throat. “I said Howard was
right,” he said a little louder. “You shouldn’t have had to take
money out for that trip. You get more than enough money each month
to pay your bills and go wherever you want and order whatever you
want at any restaurant you choose.”

“
I do? But why—”

“
Because I was
stealing
from you!” Paul
stood and paced, running his hands through his hair. “I was taking
your money and spending it on my company because I was too
embarrassed to go to the bank. Because I kept thinking things would
get better next month. And because I thought… hoped… prayed that
I’d be able to repay the money before anyone found out.” He lifted
his anguished eyes, and Helen wanted to hold him, to cradle him and
tell him she’d make things all right. But those days were long
gone. Even as a youngster, he’d forged his own way, made his own
decisions, and refused any comforting gestures from his
mother.

“
I would have gladly loaned
you whatever I could,” she told him, careful to keep any trace or
rebuke from her voice.

“
I know that. You always
wanted to help, and I never let you. I saw it as a sign of
weakness. I wanted to be like Dad, always strong, always the
caretaker.”

“
But—”

“
Dad never had to ask
anyone for help. He ran a successful business and provided for us,
sent us to college, and did it all on his own.”

“
Paul—”

“
Before he died, I promised
him I’d take care of you. I told him you’d never have to worry
about anything. And I totally screwed up.”

“
Listen to
me!
” Helen smacked the table for emphasis,
and Paul started. He broke off and spun around, staring as if he’d
forgotten she was there.

“
You apparently remember
only the good things about our family finances,” she told him. “We
weren’t always comfortable. In fact, there were times when we
didn’t know how we were going to pay our bills. I remember months
when we had to decide whether to pay the electric bill or buy
diapers, whether to pay the rent or buy food. Things were tough,
and once we even had to move in with my parents.” She reached out
and took his hand, willing him to understand. “He didn’t do it all
alone. No one can.”

Paul pursed his lips, and his eyes searched
hers, and she thought she’d reached him, reassured him, but then he
pulled his hand back and resumed his pacing.

“
I don’t remember any of
that. It probably happened when I was really young. But he never
took money from his parents.”

“
Yes, he did.”

Both Paul and Nancy stared
this time. “He took money from
Oma
and
Opa
?” Paul whispered.

“
Yes.” Helen got up and
pulled out coffee mugs for the three of them and poured as she
continued. “His parents owned a large shipping company in the
Netherlands. They were very well off. That’s why we were able to go
and visit them from time to time.
Opa
wanted your father to join in the
family business, but Jozef wanted to come to America. He wanted to
own his own company. So when
Opa
sent him to America on business, he took the money
his father gave him to purchase supplies and spent it starting up
his own company. He paid his father back of course, but it took
several years.”

“
Opa
must have been furious.”

“
I’m sure he was. I didn’t
know your father then. I didn’t meet him until I went to Hope
College and we were both enrolled in a business class. He wanted to
learn how to make his business better so he could pay his father
back quickly. I was so proud of him for being eager to repay his
father. It wasn’t until later that I learned how he’d deceived
him.” She put the three mugs on a tray, but before she could lift
it, Paul took it to the table.

Nancy wrapped her hands around her mug. “I
feel so awful about this, Mom. We’ve been pushing you to downsize
and move so that your expenses would be smaller, but you never
really needed to move. We’re the ones who should be cutting back.
In fact, I told Paul I’m going to go out and look for a job so we
can start repaying you right away. The kids are in school all day,
so I should be able to find a job while they’re gone. I heard that
the school was looking for part-time teacher aides and playground
supervisors.”

“
Are you sure you want to
do that? I know how much your charity work means to you,” Helen
said.

“
I want to. I should have
done more to help provide for the family. I was the one who
insisted that I needed to stay home for the kids. After they were
in school all day I never made a move to look for a job to help pay
for the ballet lessons, team sports fees and equipment, and all the
other things the kids needed… and wanted. I told Paul I want to be
more informed of our family finances from now on.”

“
You’re smart to do that,
dear. I never paid any attention to ours. I just figured Joe would
take care of it. And then when Joe died, Paul took care of it. I
never had to
worry
about it, so I didn’t. Until I thought I didn’t have
any.”

“
Mom?” Paul wrung his
hands.

“
Yes, dear?”

“
I am so, so sorry I made
it hard on you. I knew it was wrong even while I did it. I think
that’s why I was such a grouch with you. You were doing without
because of me, and instead of giving the money back to you, I tried
to make you live on less. We uh—” He broke off and glanced at his
wife. “Nancy and I know that you have the right to press charges.
In fact, Howard will probably encourage you to do so. Obviously he
suspected something, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked for your bank
statements.”

Mike suspected you too,
and I didn’t believe him.
Best not to
mention that now.

“
Oh, I don’t know, dear. He
just said we’d go over them and find out where I might be spending
extra money. I’ll just tell him you and I figured it
out.”

“
Are you sure?”

“
Now that you’ve told me
what happened, and you’re taking steps to discontinue it, there’s
no need to involve anyone else. Once you get things settled, I know
my allowance will be a little bigger.”

“
You — you still trust me
to take care of your checkbook?”

She pretended to consider. “Well, for now.
But maybe you ought to show me how it’s done.”

He nodded. “I can do that.”

On the second
Sunday morning in December, Paul arrived as usual
to take Helen to church. The first major snowfall of the season had
come and dumped a foot of snow on the area. He slipped his boots
off before entering the house.

“
I’m all set to go,” she
told him, lifting her coat from the kitchen chair. Her pageant
script and notes were neatly tucked into a folder she’d bought
earlier in the week, and her shoe bag with her dress shoes sat next
to it.

Paul helped her with her coat and picked up
her folder and shoes. “Anything else you need to take?”

“
Nope, my boots are by the
back door,” she told him, buttoning her coat. “Like I said, I’m
ready.”

The high school auditorium was decorated
with poinsettias but not much else. She missed the lovely
decorations Carol VanEerden and her committee had put up each
year.

One week until the pageant. One more week of
dealing with mishaps, lost costumes and props, forgotten lines, and
late cast members. She knew the end result would be wonderful, but
she certainly wasn’t going to miss the chaos next year. Why had she
waited so long to give it up?

Because it gave you
something meaningful to do.
She really
hadn’t been bored being a housewife and mom, but she wanted to be
able to contribute something to the community. When the previous
director had stepped down, he’d pressed her to do it. Paul had been
in junior high at the time, and she’d been assisting the director.
And so she’d done it ever since.

But now she didn’t need that. She’d continue
to be active in various groups, like the knitting club, and maybe
she could help out with the Wednesday night suppers. Now that she
didn’t have to worry about moving out of her home, she had the
freedom to choose what she wanted to do with her time. That freedom
had energized her — she’d spent time the past two weeks organizing
her house so that she hardly ever wasted time looking for
things.

She still couldn’t believe Paul had used her
money — borrowed it, as he put it — without asking. But he seemed
genuinely sorry and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Nancy had
found a part time job at the elementary school, and they’d cut back
on some of their expensive habits. A coffee pot on their counter
got more use now that they’d given up buying fancy lattes and
cappuccinos. Paul took his lunch to work rather than eating out
each day.

A part of her felt sorry for her son and
daughter-in-law. It was difficult to give up one way of life for
another. Perhaps it was her fault for indulging him when he was
growing up. But maybe by budgeting and living more frugally they’d
come out stronger.