The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek (Clumsy Cupids) (4 page)

bangs off his forehead. He really wasn't in a

position to argue. "Okay, fine. Just let him know I

wanted to make sure his hand isn't bothering him."

"Will do."

"Thanks." Ash disconnected the call and flopped

back on the couch. He picked up the dating guide

and turned back to the first chapter. His eyes kept

closing as he tried to focus, so he just flipped

through the pictures of the different
Star Wars

characters. When he got to Han Solo, Ash's mind

called up a picture of Fee wearing tight blue pants

and a long-sleeve white shirt with black vest

hanging open over it. A red stripe ran up the length

of his leg, and he had a holster strapped to his hip,

his hand resting on the grip of some sort of

futuristic gun. He was smirking at Ash over the

black rims of his glasses.

Ash tossed and turned all night. Dreams of Fee,

fighting battles in the stars and romancing Ash in

dark corners of strange bars then leaving him

behind on distant planets, kept waking him up.

1.2

The next morning, he stumbled bleary-eyed and

coffee-deficient into the shop. Instantly his senses

were overwhelmed by loud special effects and

arguments over who was whose father. Tank

bumped into him as he and Genie danced around

each other while a
Star Wars
movie played on the

flat-screen TV in the waiting area.

"Can you take your imaginary sword fight

somewhere else?" he grumbled as he went to stuff

his jacket under the counter.

"Dude! It's a light-saber duel." Tank stared at

Ash as if he'd sprouted a new head. "You really

haven't
seen these movies, have you?"

"Yeah, man," Genie said. "Have you been living

under a rock or something?"

"I didn't spend all my time growing up in front

of the TV like
some
people, all right?" Ash knew

he was sniping at them, but he was irritated. He

refused to believe that not having seen a few stupid

sci-fi movies made him some sort of deviant. And

he was more than a little upset that Ty had

apparently blabbed about it to everyone. He tipped

the coffee pot over his mug with too much force

and sloshed the life nectar over the edge of his

cup, burning himself in the process. A tattooed

hand wrapped around his and helped him set the

cup down before he threw it across the room.

"Thanks a lot, Ty."

"No prob. I could tell you were about to drop it.

Against the wall. With great force." Ty chuckled.

"Well, as much as I love this mug, the thanks

was for telling everyone about my night in."

Ty held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I didn't

say a word about Fee. All they know is I brought

the movies in so you could borrow them. They saw

them and loaded them up." Ash looked him the eye,

and Ty held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."

"You were never a Boy Scout."

"Yeah, but I once corrupted an Eagle Scout.

That has to count, right?" Ty asked with a wicked

smile. Ash laughed, and Ty put an arm around him

to steer him to the back. "Go run some cold water

over that before it gets any worse. I think there's

some aloe gel above the sink."

"Was that a tip from your Eagle Scout?"

Ty winked. "No, his tip went somewhere else."

"Oh, yuck. I didn't need to hear that." Ash put his

fingers in his ears as he walked away. He washed

his hand off and grabbed the broom. He tried to

keep up with the movies as they played, but

between the customers and everyone reciting the

lines along with the actors, he couldn't pay

attention. Hanging the new flash designs in the

front of the shop and cleaning everyone's supplies

kept him busy while everyone else saved the

galaxy.

By the time they closed up, Ash's head was

pounding from lack of sleep and the constant

barrage of ray guns echoing in the room. It seemed

like every customer who walked in stayed to

watch a good portion of whichever movie was

playing, and there was a run on tattoos of little

white robots.

"Deli's?" Ty asked while they waited for Tank

to finish locking up.

"Nah, you guys wrecked me with the movies

today. My head's killing me. I'm just going home."

Ty reached over to touch Ash's forehead with the

back of his hand. "What's that for?" Ash asked.

"Just seeing if you're running a fever. You're

staying in two nights in a row." Ty pulled out his

cell phone. "I'm going to call Guinness."

"You're a laugh a minute, you know that?" Ash

flipped his collar up and tucked the bag of movies

under his arm as he turned to leave. "See you

tomorrow."

The apartment was blessedly silent when Ash

got home. His roommate Carley was out of town

on a buying trip for the boutique store where he

worked. Jae would have been home from his job at

the restaurant, so Ash figured he must have gone

back out. Ash hung his coat on the rack in the

hallway and lumbered to his room. He dropped the

movies on his bed and wandered back to the

kitchen to grab a drink out of the fridge. A plate

was balanced on top of the beer bottles with a note

in Jae's handwriting saying, "Eat something, will

you?" He even included microwaving instructions.

Ash smiled and ate the meal cold standing over the

sink. After doing his dishes, Ash carried a bottle of

water to his room and crashed onto his bed. He

slept straight through until morning.

1.3

It took him a few days, but he managed to get

through all six movies Ty had lent him. The frenzy

surrounding them still didn't make sense to him.

Sure, he enjoyed them, but he didn't feel a lasting

connection with them after he turned the DVD

player off. He certainly didn't feel the need to

quote them relentlessly the way he'd seen some

people do.

One thing they did do was fuel his desire to see

Fee again. Seeing Han Solo in action brought the

daydream of Fee wearing his costume back to the

forefront of his mind. The cockiness of the

character fit with Fee's light flirting. In those

moments when he let his guard down, Fee was

every bit as charming, and as dangerous to Ash's

self-control, as the pirate space captain.

It wasn't as if any of that mattered. Fee still

hadn't called or emailed. It had been a week since

Jack said he would ask Mari to pass his info on,

and he was still waiting to hear from Fee. He was

starting to get annoyed. He'd never had to work so

hard to get someone to notice him before. And this

was work, with the guidebook and the movies. It

felt like he was studying for the hardest exam of

his life.

He checked the clock on his phone one more

time before he picked up the gift he had bought at

Carley's shop. There was nothing wrong with

giving his brother a housewarming present. And if

he happened to get Mari to give him Fee's phone

number or email address while he was there, well,

then that would just be a bonus.

He kept trying lines in his head the entire trip to

his brother's. Outright asking if Mari had passed

his info along didn't seem right. He knew Jack and

Mari would keep their word, so he had to assume

Fee had it. It was getting to the bottom of why Fee

hadn't used it yet that was bothering Ash. He

couldn't come up with a good reason by the time he

got off the L train at Jack's stop. He was still

turning the problem over in his mind when he

reached their apartment.

"Hey, bro. What are you doing here?" Jack's

gaze drifted over Ash's shoulder when he

answered the door.

"Am I interrupting something?" Ash checked

behind himself to see what Jack was looking at.

"Sorry. We ordered pizza. Just looking for the

driver. Come on in. Mari's in back."

"Mari?" Ash called as he walked down the

hallway.

"Back here, Ash." He followed her voice to the

kitchen. Mari was setting out plates on the counter.

She pulled a third one down and took out another

napkin. He set the present on the counter and gave

her a hug. "What brings you all the way down

here?"

"I got you guys a housewarming present."

She slapped his arm lightly. "You didn't have to

do that."

"Of course I did. It's not every day someone gets

my big bro to settle down and play grown up."

"Well, he was kind of floundering out there. He

really needed someone to tell him to put away his

toys."

"He always was bad about that." Ash grabbed

some beers out of the fridge and followed Mari to

the table.

Jack came in carrying a pizza box and set it

down next to the plates. "Bad about what?"

"Never mind, dear."

"Something tells me you're not here for the

pizza," Jack said before he pulled a slice from the

box and bit the end off.

"I got you a gift." Ash tried for innocent.

"You mean Carley picked us up something and

sent you over with it."

"Hey, I'll have you know I picked it out myself."

"And you couldn't wait to bring it over, just for

the sake of seeing us?"

"I can't visit my brother now?"

"I'm just fucking with you, bro. You're welcome

here any time." Jack slapped a hand on his

shoulder. "Even if you are only fishing for

information."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do. And before you ask, yes, Mari

gave him your number."

Ash's head turned on its own. "Did he say

anything?"

"No, but she can pass him a note in study hall if

you want."

"Jack, stop it," Mari chastised, even as her

mouth quirked into a little smile. She reached out

and put a hand on Ash's. "He's really shy, so it may

be a while before he calls."

"How's his hand?"

"Better. It wasn't as bad as you thought. It's just

your fear of blood that made you think it was."

"It's not a fear. It's just …" Ash shivered.

"Never mind. You know, if you gave me his

number, I could call him myself and see how he

is."

Mari shook her head. "You know I can't do

that."

"I'd just send a text to apologize again. Or how

about his email?"

"Come on, Ash. I can't do that to him. You'd hate

us if we gave out your number to anyone who asks.

Think about it from his side."

"I just—" Ash started, but Mari's look cut him

off. He turned to Jack. "She's got that look down."

Jack laughed. "I think Mom taught it to her."

Ash sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Look, if you want to know more about him, you

can check out the blog for his reading group.

Maybe that'll give you some help." She pulled out

her phone and texted him the website address.

"Thanks, Mari."

They finished their dinner, and Ash made his

way back to his apartment, anxious to find out

more about the geek who had captured his

attention.

"I guess first I need to figure out what RTFS

means, huh?" he mumbled to himself as the page

pulled up. He looked at the archived blog entries,

but it was mostly geeks talking about books. Some

of them seemed to be how-to books, and one of the

members had done an in-depth review of the

manual for some computer language he'd never

heard of.

He found a "Contact Me" button on the site. His

fingers hovered over the mouse for a second

before he did just that.

Chapter Two

RTFMing

If your geek is doing IT support, he will invariably talk

about his users. These are not crack addicts. These are

the people who look to him as their Sherpa navigating the

Windows (or Macs) of their lives. He may call them

'lusers.' This is a term of both frustration and endearment

for those he supports. If you watch him in his natural

habitat, you may hear him yell "RTFM!" This is not

gibberish; he's graciously reminding his customer that the

answers can be found in the manual. This acronym is

short for "Read The Fucking Manual." This advice goes