The Palliser Novels (202 page)

“There is Lord Fawn.”

“Yes, there is Lord Fawn, certainly. Perhaps I should not do him much harm; but then I should do him no good.”

“And poor Phineas Finn.”

“Yes; — there is Mr. Finn. I will tell you something, Laura. The only man I ever saw in the world whom I have thought for a moment that it was possible that I should like, — like enough to love as my husband, — except your brother, was Mr. Finn.”

“And now?”

“Oh; — now; of course that is over,” said Violet.

“It is over?”

“Quite over. Is he not going to marry Madame Goesler? I suppose all that is fixed by this time. I hope she will be good to him, and gracious, and let him have his own way, and give him his tea comfortably when he comes up tired from the House; for I confess that my heart is a little tender towards Phineas still. I should not like to think that he had fallen into the hands of a female Philistine.”

“I do not think he will marry Madame Goesler.”

“Why not?”

“I can hardly tell you; — but I do not think he will. And you loved him once, — eh, Violet?”

“Not quite that, my dear. It has been difficult with me to love. The difficulty with most girls, I fancy, is not to love. Mr. Finn, when I came to measure him in my mind, was not small, but he was never quite tall enough. One feels oneself to be a sort of recruiting sergeant, going about with a standard of inches. Mr. Finn was just half an inch too short. He lacks something in individuality. He is a little too much a friend to everybody.”

“Shall I tell you a secret, Violet?”

“If you please, dear; though I fancy it is one I know already.”

“He is the only man whom I ever loved,” said Lady Laura.

“But it was too late when you learned to love him,” said Violet.

“It was too late, when I was so sure of it as to wish that I had never seen Mr. Kennedy. I felt it coming on me, and I argued with myself that such a marriage would be bad for us both. At that moment there was trouble in the family, and I had not a shilling of my own.”

“You had paid it for Oswald.”

“At any rate, I had nothing; — and he had nothing. How could I have dared to think even of such a marriage?”

“Did he think of it, Laura?”

“I suppose he did.”

“You know he did. Did you not tell me before?”

“Well; — yes. He thought of it. I had come to some foolish, half-sentimental resolution as to friendship, believing that he and I could be knit together by some adhesion of fraternal affection that should be void of offence to my husband; and in furtherance of this he was asked to Loughlinter when I went there, just after I had accepted Robert. He came down, and I measured him too, as you have done. I measured him, and I found that he wanted nothing to come up to the height required by my standard. I think I knew him better than you did.”

“Very possibly; — but why measure him at all, when such measurement was useless?”

“Can one help such things? He came to me one day as I was sitting up by the Linter. You remember the place, where it makes its first leap.”

“I remember it very well.”

“So do I. Robert had shown it me as the fairest spot in all Scotland.”

“And there this lover of ours sang his song to you?”

“I do not know what he told me then; but I know that I told him that I was engaged; and I felt when I told him so that my engagement was a sorrow to me. And it has been a sorrow from that day to this.”

“And the hero, Phineas, — he is still dear to you?”

“Dear to me?”

“Yes. You would have hated me, had he become my husband? And you will hate Madame Goesler when she becomes his wife?”

“Not in the least. I am no dog in the manger. I have even gone so far as almost to wish, at certain moments, that you should accept him.”

“And why?”

“Because he has wished it so heartily.”

“One can hardly forgive a man for such speedy changes,” said Violet.

“Was I not to forgive him; — I, who had turned myself away from him with a fixed purpose the moment that I found that he had made a mark upon my heart? I could not wipe off the mark, and yet I married. Was he not to try to wipe off his mark?”

“It seems that he wiped it off very quickly; — and since that he has wiped off another mark. One doesn’t know how many marks he has wiped off. They are like the inn-keeper’s score which he makes in chalk. A damp cloth brings them all away, and leaves nothing behind.”

“What would you have?”

“There should be a little notch on the stick, — to remember by,” said Violet. “Not that I complain, you know. I cannot complain, as I was not notched myself.”

“You are silly, Violet.”

“In not having allowed myself to be notched by this great champion?”

“A man like Mr. Finn has his life to deal with, — to make the most of it, and to divide it between work, pleasure, duty, ambition, and the rest of it as best he may. If he have any softness of heart, it will be necessary to him that love should bear a part in all these interests. But a man will be a fool who will allow love to be the master of them all. He will be one whose mind is so ill-balanced as to allow him to be the victim of a single wish. Even in a woman passion such as that is evidence of weakness, and not of strength.”

“It seems, then, Laura, that you are weak.”

“And if I am, does that condemn him? He is a man, if I judge him rightly, who will be constant as the sun, when constancy can be of service.”

“You mean that the future Mrs. Finn will be secure?”

“That is what I mean; — and that you or I, had either of us chosen to take his name, might have been quite secure. We have thought it right to refuse to do so.”

“And how many more, I wonder?”

“You are unjust, and unkind, Violet. So unjust and unkind that it is clear to me he has just gratified your vanity, and has never touched your heart. What would you have had him do, when I told him that I was engaged?”

“I suppose that Mr. Kennedy would not have gone to Blankenberg with him.”

“Violet!”

“That seems to be the proper thing to do. But even that does not adjust things finally; — does it?” Then some one came upon them, and the conversation was brought to an end.

When Phineas Finn left Mr. Gresham’s house he had quite resolved what he would do. On the next morning he would tell Lord Cantrip that his resignation was a necessity, and that he would take that nobleman’s advice as to resigning at once, or waiting till the day on which Mr. Monk’s Irish Bill would be read for the second time.

“My dear Finn, I can only say that I deeply regret it,” said Lord Cantrip.

“So do I. I regret to leave office, which I like, — and which indeed I want. I regret specially to leave this office, as it has been a thorough pleasure to me; and I regret, above all, to leave you. But I am convinced that Monk is right, and I find it impossible not to support him.”

“I wish that Mr. Monk was at Bath,” said Lord Cantrip.

Phineas could only smile, and shrug his shoulders, and say that even though Mr. Monk were at Bath it would not probably make much difference. When he tendered his letter of resignation, Lord Cantrip begged him to withdraw it for a day or two. He would, he said, speak to Mr. Gresham. The debate on the second reading of Mr. Monk’s bill would not take place till that day week, and the resignation would be in time if it was tendered before Phineas either spoke or voted against the Government. So Phineas went back to his room, and endeavoured to make himself useful in some work appertaining to his favourite Colonies.

That conversation had taken place on a Friday, and on the following Sunday, early in the day, he left his rooms after a late breakfast, — a prolonged breakfast, during which he had been studying tenant-right statistics, preparing his own speech, and endeavouring to look forward into the future which that speech was to do so much to influence, — and turned his face towards Park Lane. There had been a certain understanding between him and Madame Goesler that he was to call in Park Lane on this Sunday morning, and then declare to her what was his final resolve as to the office which he held. “It is simply to bid her adieu,” he said to himself, “for I shall hardly see her again.” And yet, as he took off his morning easy coat, and dressed himself for the streets, and stood for a moment before his looking-glass, and saw that his gloves were fresh and that his boots were properly polished, I think there was a care about his person which he would have hardly taken had he been quite assured that he simply intended to say good-bye to the lady whom he was about to visit. But if there were any such conscious feeling, he administered to himself an antidote before he left the house. On returning to the sitting-room he went to a little desk from which he took out the letter from Mary which the reader has seen, and carefully perused every word of it. “She is the best of them all,” he said to himself, as he refolded the letter and put it back into his desk. I am not sure that it is well that a man should have any large number from whom to select a best; as, in such circumstances, he is so very apt to change his judgment from hour to hour. The qualities which are the most attractive before dinner sometimes become the least so in the evening.

The morning was warm, and he took a cab. It would not do that he should speak even his last farewell to such a one as Madame Goesler with all the heat and dust of a long walk upon him. Having been so careful about his boots and gloves he might as well use his care to the end. Madame Goesler was a very pretty woman, who spared herself no trouble in making herself as pretty as Nature would allow, on behalf of those whom she favoured with her smiles; and to such a lady some special attention was due by one who had received so many of her smiles as had Phineas. And he felt, too, that there was something special in this very visit. It was to be made by appointment, and there had come to be an understanding between them that Phineas should tell her on this occasion what was his resolution with reference to his future life. I think that he had been very wise in fortifying himself with a further glance at our dear Mary’s letter, before he trusted himself within Madame Goesler’s door.

Yes; — Madame Goesler was at home. The door was opened by Madame Goesler’s own maid, who, smiling, explained that the other servants were all at church. Phineas had become sufficiently intimate at the cottage in Park Lane to be on friendly terms with Madame Goesler’s own maid, and now made some little half-familiar remark as to the propriety of his visit during church time. “Madame will not refuse to see you, I am thinking,” said the girl, who was a German. “And she is alone?” asked Phineas. “Alone? Yes; — of course she is alone. Who should be with her now?” Then she took him up into the drawing-room; but, when there, he found that Madame Goesler was absent. “She shall be down directly,” said the girl. “I shall tell her who is here, and she will come.”

It was a very pretty room. It may almost be said that there could be no prettier room in all London. It looked out across certain small private gardens, — which were as bright and gay as money could make them when brought into competition with London smoke, — right on to the park. Outside and inside the window, flowers and green things were so arranged that the room itself almost looked as though it were a bower in a garden. And everything in that bower was rich and rare; and there was nothing there which annoyed by its rarity or was distasteful by its richness. The seats, though they were costly as money could buy, were meant for sitting, and were comfortable as seats. There were books for reading, and the means of reading them. Two or three gems of English art were hung upon the walls, and could be seen backwards and forwards in the mirrors. And there were precious toys lying here and there about the room, — toys very precious, but placed there not because of their price, but because of their beauty. Phineas already knew enough of the art of living to be aware that the woman who had made that room what it was, had charms to add a beauty to everything she touched. What would such a life as his want, if graced by such a companion, — such a life as his might be, if the means which were hers were at his command? It would want one thing, he thought, — the self-respect which he would lose if he were false to the girl who was trusting him with such sweet trust at home in Ireland.

In a very few minutes Madame Goesler was with him, and, though he did not think about it, he perceived that she was bright in her apparel, that her hair was as soft as care could make it, and that every charm belonging to her had been brought into use for his gratification. He almost told himself that he was there in order that he might ask to have all those charms bestowed upon himself. He did not know who had lately come to Park Lane and been a suppliant for the possession of those rich endowments; but I wonder whether they would have been more precious in his eyes had he known that they had so moved the heart of the great Duke as to have induced him to lay his coronet at the lady’s feet. I think that had he known that the lady had refused the coronet, that knowledge would have enhanced the value of the prize.

“I am so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she said, as she gave him her hand. “I was an owl not to be ready for you when you told me that you would come.”

“No; — but a bird of paradise to come to me so sweetly, and at an hour when all the other birds refuse to show the feather of a single wing.”

“And you, — you feel like a naughty boy, do you not, in thus coming out on a Sunday morning?”

“Do you feel like a naughty girl?”

“Yes; — just a little so. I do not know that I should care for everybody to hear that I received visitors, — or worse still, a visitor, — at this hour on this day. But then it is so pleasant to feel oneself to be naughty! There is a Bohemian flavour of picnic about it which, though it does not come up to the rich gusto of real wickedness, makes one fancy that one is on the border of that delightful region in which there is none of the constraint of custom, — where men and women say what they like, and do what they like.”

“It is pleasant enough to be on the borders,” said Phineas.