The Paler Shade of Autumn (32 page)

He extends his arm around her waist, pulls her closer and kisses her on the head. “Autumn, you’re not to blame for that.”

Autumn looks at him, into his beautiful eyes. “I promise I won’t hide away anymore and I won’t ever push you away again. You mean too much to me.”

Jet smiles and kisses her nose. “Just telling me that you love me is enough.”

She takes his lips between hers and they sink into a lingering, loving kiss. Her body thrums to feel his warmth, to taste his taste, to love him with all of her spirit and all of her body and, most importantly, all of
her
mind. To love him without guilt, restraint or interference. To simply love.

“I want you to take me home. To our home.”

“That’s all I desperately wanted to hear. I love you, Autumn, and I will love you again and again and again.”

Autumn smiles and sinks against his chest, into his long arms that wrap effortlessly around her body. “I love you too.”

Autumn sits at the window seat, her lips curled upwards as she hums a nursery rhyme. She hasn’t known such peace when it comes to her insight, not since she and Jordy used to hold hands when they were small children and laugh so hard their little faces turned pink and stomachs ached. Each day, each moment, Autumn becomes more and more in control of her thoughts. And with each measure of progress the future opens up commensurately.

On the seat, laid out in front of her, are thirteen pairs of gloves of varying shades. She gathers them up and carries them to the kitchen where Jet is making coffee.

He smiles, eyes narrowing when he spies the gloves. “What are you doing?”

She doesn’t answer, instead walks to the bin, opens it and throws every one of the gloves into it.

Jet laughs. “I love seeing you like this.”

“I love feeling like this.” She joins him at the bench and watches him as he pours hot water into two coffee mugs. She notes his easy stance, his flawless skin, the way his biceps bulge as he lifts the jug.
How can my life still be lacking?

He looks at her, a coy smile on his lips. “What?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“Don’t say
nothing
. I can almost hear your mind ticking over from here.”

She rolls her eyes and huffs. “I was just thinking that despite how far I’ve come, I still feel as though I’m not completely settled here.”

“Because of your mother?”

Autumn shakes her head. “I thought it was because I haven’t made peace with Mum, but I realise it’s for another reason that I feel this way. Remember when you told me you felt like this when you were searching for apartments?”

One eyebrow rises above those eyes that resemble melting caramels and he nods. “So what’s the reason, if it’s not because of your mother?”

She hesitates before answering, choosing her words carefully “It’s because this apartment is supposed to be lived in by a family, not just you and me.”

Jet freezes, waits, holding his breath.

“I want us to start a family, Jet.”

“I know you understand the restrictions,” he says, neck tight.

“I understand the restrictions completely. And in no way do they inhibit us starting the family that I truly want.”

Jet’s mouth curls up, just slightly at the corners. “You want Oyunbileg?”

Autumn nods. “Yes. I want Oyunbileg. I want you and me to love her like she is our own.”

Jet nods. “Are you absolutely sure this is something you want? It will change our entire lifestyle and it certainly won’t be easy. You’re still not completely mastering control over your insight and…”

“I’m certain, Jet. I want us to start a family.”

Jet smiles widely. “Well, then I couldn’t agree more.”

“So you want to?”

“Honestly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you mentioned it in Tokyo.”

She moves to him and wraps him in her arms. “Thank you.”

“I’m just glad you’ve finally raised the point with me. Now I don’t have to tell Scott to stop the adoption process.”

Autumn lifts her head, eyes wide. “You’ve already started the adoption?”

He nods, offering a self-satisfied grin. “If all goes to plan, we’ll be going to Mongolia to pick her up by the end of next month.”

Autumn laughs. “I don’t know what to say. Are you certain it’s not you who has insight?”

He laughs with her. “No, I’m just presumptuous remember?”

“How could I forget?”

In the spare room, which is now a perfectly decorated little girl’s room—pink and white striped wallpaper, a rocking chair, cute teddy-bears, carousel lamps and childish prints—Autumn dresses Bili. She chose the perfect outfit for her today: a white silk dress covered with bright pink cherry blossoms and a matching pair of pink sandals.

The little girl looks up when Jet enters the room and smiles with recognition.

“My two beautiful girls,” he says.

Bili breaks free from Autumn’s arms and runs towards him, giggling and saying with her small, childish voice, “Dadda, Dadda.”

Autumn can’t take her eyes off of Bili, finding everything about this little being so endearing. She loves how her skin smells of baby powder and soap, the way her little mouth curls into a smile, how she giggles deep from the depths of her belly.

Jet bends, lifts Bili into his arms and swings her onto his hip—so natural, as though he was born to be a father. Seeing the way he cares for their beautiful child has made Autumn love him even more, something she didn’t think possible.

Autumn uncurls from the floor and stands beside Jet; kisses the little girl’s head. “Bili, you’re going to meet your Grandma today.”

Jet offers a strained smile. “You’re still sure about this?”

Autumn nods. “Definitely. Enough is enough. No-one deserves missing out on loving this child.”

Jet nods. “I agree.”

“Have you packed her bag?”

“Yep. There are two changes of clothes, wipes, spare nappies and a fresh bottle.”

Autumn smiles. “Well, what are we waiting for?”

They arrive out the front of the Leone residence mid-morning in their new family-friendly car—the Aston Martin finding a home elsewhere. Jet unbuckles Bili and carries her up to the front door, while Autumn carries her baby bag.

Autumn rings the doorbell with a trembling finger, her stomach urging her to turn and flee, but her heart keeping her feet firmly planted on the doorstep.

“Whatever the outcome, I’m here for you,” says Jet, offering a supportive, but nervous smile.

Autumn stands on her tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek. “I know.”

After a short moment the door is opened by Mrs Leone, her mouth dropping with surprise when she sees the three of them standing in front of her. Quite obviously she was not expecting this visit.

“Hi, Mum,” says Autumn. “We thought it was time you met your granddaughter, Bili.”

Mrs Leone’s eyes gloss with tears. She looks at Bili in Jet’s arms and manages a smile before she begins to cry. “She’s—she is gorgeous.”

Bili watches Grandma for a moment then turns to Jet and thrusts her fingers between his lips. “Dadda, Dadda.” Jet pretends to munch noisily on her fingers, throwing Bili into fits of childish laughter; a sound that sends tingles through each of their hearts.

“May I?” Mrs Leone says, holding her arms out to Bili.

“Of course,” says Jet.

Mrs Leone lifts Bili from his arms. “Hello, darling. Aren’t you just a dear little girl?” Bili places her hand on Grandma’s face and stares at her with her big brown eyes, framed by the longest eyelashes. “I’m your Grandma, darling,” she says, voice thick with tears. “It’s so lovely to meet you.” She looks at Autumn and Jet. “Well come on in. We certainly can’t stand out here all day.”

Autumn gives Jet a knowing smile and places her arm around his waist before they follow Mrs Leone into the house. As they walk along the hall, Jet whispers into Autumn’s ear, “Now who’s presumptuous?”

Autumn grins. “Presumptuous indeed.”

Fast Forward

by Juliet Madison

Aspiring supermodel Kelli Crawford is on the fast-track to fame: she’s beautiful, she’s popular, and she’s dating the perfect guy. But the morning of her 25
^th
birthday dawns with a surprise. She’s no longer 25, in shape, in style, and in demand. She’s 50, wrinkled, weary, and wed to a bona fide nerd.

Trapped in the opposite life of the one she planned, Kelli is forced to re-evaluate her choices and discover what is really important to her. Will she overcome the hilarious and heartbreaking challenges presented to her and get back to the body of her younger self? Or will she be stuck in the nightmare of hot flushes, demanding children, raunchy advances from her husband and hideous support underwear forever?

Chaos Born

by Rebekah Turner

Lora Blackgoat, smuggler and mercenary, has been laying low after a job gone bad made her a laughing stock in the industry. When a childhood friend turns to her for help, Lora leaps to restore her reputation and starts hunting a killer who is stalking the gas-lit streets.

She never expects that her path will lead her to the Order of Guides, a sadistic militant religious organisation – or to Roman, a deadly and dangerously attractive half-angel warrior who also hunts the killer.

When Lora discovers that the killer has broken fundamental laws of magic to enter the city, she also uncovers a conspiracy that leads back into her own dark past.

The Danger Game

by Caitlyn Nicholas

The world is in peril, and only she can save it.

Computer Programmer Felicity Smith is developing the most powerful and dangerous computer program in the world. But upon finding the program stolen, and her boss bleeding to death on her office floor, Felicity realises that the security of the entire world is at risk and she must do what she can to save it. Except, being chased for the murder cramps her style—until Intelligence Officer Ben Jackson comes to her rescue.

Ben hides Felicity and helps her gain entry to the most powerful and secretive weapons development facility on Earth. However, it’s not all spy vs. spy, as Ben starts distracting Felicity in a decidedly non-geeky way…

Jacquie resides in sunny Brisbane with her husband and two sons. Numbers and practicality are a way of life for Jacquie as she works as an accountant by day. So it’s no wonder, for sanity’s sake, she balances this banality with words, characters and imagination in all other possible moments.

Jacquie is an author of a number of novels and writes contemporary women’s fiction that is emotionally driven and possesses unique themes beyond the constraints of the physical universe. She strives to offer romance, but with complexity; spirituality, without the religion. Her novels express a purpose and offer subtle messages about life, the spirit and, of course, love.

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ISBN: 9780857990259

Title: The Paler Shade of Autumn

Copyright © 2013 by Jacquie Underdown

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