The Paladin Caper (22 page)

“He’s right,” Hessler said, and as Tern elbowed him again, added, “not about killing himself! About why the golem was so insistent upon killing him. In the Dragon’s notes on the end of the war between the ancients and the Glimmering Folk, he guessed that there were multiple factions arguing over the proper way to close the gateway to both the land of the ancients and the land of the Glimmering Folk. The ancients knew that closing both gates would seal them away and leave the gate of the Glimmering Folk fractionally open—”

“High points, baby,” Tern murmured.

“Some of the ancients believed in the prophecy,” Hessler said, “trusting that Dairy would defeat the remaining power of the Glimmering Folk, and then their gate could be opened safely. The others simply believed that Dairy should be killed if found, which had a reasonable chance of opening the ancients’ gate without reopening the gate of the Glimmering Folk as well.”

Kail set his tankard down. “All I really got there was that the ancients disagreed with each other, which is the first good news we’ve had all day.”

“I am unclear on how that is good news,” Icy said.

“Means they’re not a group mind, all totally loyal to each other,” Tern said.

“They have politics and shortsightedness, just like we do,” Kail said. “It’s a point we can hit.”

“Ah. Disharmonizing influence?” Icy asked, and raised his teacup to Kail in a salute.

“That helps,” Loch said, “but it doesn’t give us the gate. Hessler, can you and Desidora keep on the Dragon’s library?”

“We need to do more,” Dairy said, and Loch looked over. His face was drawn tight, but he met her stare without trying to hide his pain. “Mister Dragon only figured out the part with . . . me near the end. If he knew about the gate earlier, he would have done something. He would have stopped it. If there’s anything that will help us, it won’t be here.”

“No holy text I’ve ever seen referenced a gate like that,” Desidora said.

Hessler frowned. “The closest I’ve seen to what you describe would be a specific type of daemon summoning at the university, but I don’t think it relates. Speaking of which, I need to repair your warding charm.”

“Later.” Loch waved him away. “Ululenia, Icy?” They both shook their heads. “No lore from the fairy creatures, nothing from the Empire.
Someone
must know something.”

“Westteich knew about it,” Kail offered, and Loch nodded.

“All right. He’s probably still at Sunrise Canyon. His estate isn’t likely to be guarded as closely as the mine.” Loch nodded slowly. “That’s a start.”

“Speaking of the mine,” Desidora said, “how do we get back inside? They nearly caught us last time.”

“Death lady’s got a point,” Tern said. “Icy and I had a rule about hitting the same place twice, which was
don’t
. The mine has limited entrances and guards all over the place, probably more of them now that the ancients are, you know,
there
. Add to that, this team’s big strength is magic, and we can’t use any of that inside the mine without causing a giant explosion.”

“You did not seem to mind causing a giant explosion in our previous encounter,” Icy said mildly.

“You know, when
you
have evil monster bounty hunters coming at you, you are
welcome
to come up with a better plan!”

“Not all magic,” Loch cut in. “Desidora, how did you say Ghylspwr left, and how did the golems come after you?”

“A transport rune, as far as I can . . .” Desidora paused. “A transport rune.”

“Which worked
despite
being magic, and didn’t cause a giant explosion,” Loch pointed out.

Desidora nodded. “The ancients must have it tuned to a frequency that does not react with the ambient magic.”

“That’s how we get in.” Loch looked at Tern. “Would the records be at the
Lapitemperum
on Heaven’s Spire, or can we get them someplace groundside?”

“The office at Heaven’s Spire only handles crystal-based magic related to the Spire itself. Sunrise Canyon is kind of in the middle of nowhere, not close to any of the port cities, but . . .” Tern thought. “Got it, yes. My old hometown, actually. Rossle-Nesef. Anything tied to old magic and not in one of the port cities itself would be handled there.”

“So we have Westteich’s estate,” Loch said, “and we have your hometown’s
Lapitemperum
.”

“And you have a problem,” Irrethelathlialann said from the doorway. He walked in carrying what looked like a wide scroll.

“Ethel, you’re doing it again,” said Kail. “Do you need another drink?”

“Desperately. As will you.” Irrethelathlialann unrolled the scroll, which turned out to be some version of the magical leaves the elves had cultivated. When it was stretched taut, images began to flicker on its surface, and Loch heard the sound of laughter.

“The only other real news today is the paladin bands, which have taken the Republic by storm!” said the dragon puppet.

“Oh, hooray.” Kail took a drink. “I didn’t think you got the puppet shows out here.”

“Now, I know they’re the latest new thing,” the manticore said grumpily, swishing his scorpion tail, “but I for one can’t get used to having a calendar and a notepad and a message crystal all on one hand. Does that seem strange to anyone else?”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” said the griffon. “Now that I’m a paladin, I actually remembered my anniversary this year!”

The dragon laughed. “And I imagine your wife doesn’t mind you having more energy than before either!”

“She sure doesn’t,” the griffon chortled.

“Does anyone else sort of want to vomit?” Tern asked. Kail quietly raised a hand.

“Now I expected you to be up in arms about these paladins,” the manticore said, “no pun intended! The bands cost so damn much. Isn’t making rich people into paladins giving them even more benefits over the poor?”

“Well, I don’t think that’s fair,” the griffon said, looking a little hurt. “And they’re easier to get than you’d think! Some have been granted to government officials, and anyone who’s willing to work can eventually save up for one. Best of all, though, Archvoyant Cevirt said that at the Republic Festival of Excellence, in addition to demonstrations by paladins, ordinary citizens will have the chance to compete in fields like athletics, scholarship, magical aptitude, and artistry for a chance to win a paladin band of their very own!”

“Byn-kodar’s hell,” Desidora muttered.

Kail squinted. “Okay, no, it’s weird when you say it, Diz.”

As the puppets went about their banter, Loch turned to Irrethelathlialann, who smiled grimly. “Thanks,” she said. “At least we know what they’re planning now.”

“If you will be patient, there’s one more bit I didn’t understand.” The elf raised a finger.

“And finally,” the dragon said, “one bit of humor to send you on your way, people.”

“It seems that an Urujar woman down near the Imperial border has been dodging her taxes,” the manticore said.

“See, you say
an Urujar woman
like it matters what race she is,” the griffon said peevishly.

“She hasn’t paid taxes since before the war,” the manticore went on, “cheating and stealing and generally being a terrible person, and you’ll never believe what this woman did: she went into a Republic tax office to complain that her tax refund wasn’t large enough! Can you believe her?”

The griffon laughed. “Well, that
is
a bad way to go about stealing the Republic’s money.”

“Everyone say hello to Tressa duQuaille,” the dragon said, “our first Idiot Criminal of the Week!”

A small screen, especially grainy given that Loch was watching it on a leaf, rose up behind the stage where the puppets played. For a moment it was blank, and then it lit up with a glamour that showed the face of a middle-aged Urujar woman. She had a heavy build, and her hair was pulled back tight. Her eyes were red with tears.

“I didn’t do anything!” she said angrily. “You say whatever you like, I didn’t do anything!”

“Well, you’re not doing anything anymore, Tressa!” the manticore said, and the griffon and the dragon laughed along with it. “Since you like taking things for free, enjoy a free flight from Ros-Oanki up to Heaven’s Spire, and then a free stay at the Cleaners!”

“Remember, everyone,” the dragon called out, “it’s your Republic!”

“Stay informed!” the crowd yelled back, and Irrethelathlialann folded the leaf back up.

“So they hit the paladin bands,” Tern said, stirring her drink again, “I get that. But what was that bit at the end?”

There was a tiny metallic clink over at the bar. Loch looked over and saw Kail holding the handle of his tankard in one hand. The tankard itself sat at the bar, half crushed.

“That,” said Kail, “was my mother.”

Eleven

T
HE GUARD WAS
a few blocks from Ros-Oanki’s secure port area, grabbing a kahva from a local shop that had pretty serving girls and a good roast. He was a young white guy with hair shaved short and eyes that seemed too wide for his bony little face.

Kail walked up as the guard left the shop, clapped a hand on his shoulder, and shoved him against the wall. “What in Byn-kodar’s hell are you doing?”

The guard spilled his kahva and sputtered. “Who are you?”

“Who am I?” Kail let the guard come away from the wall a bit, then shoved him into it again. “Who am I? You desert your post in broad daylight when we have a high-security prisoner waiting for transport so that you can
grab kahva,
and your big concern is
who am I
?”

The young man shoved Kail back. “What the hell is your problem, man? I’m on break!”

Kail blinked, then smiled sheepishly. “Oh damn, man, I’m sorry. You’re on break? I didn’t know you were on break. You’ve still got the, uh, the thing to get back in, though, right?”

Sensing the tide turning, the guard produced a small crystal charm from his waist. “Of course. They said not to let the entry charm out of our—”

Kail knocked the guard’s kahva out of his hand so that it spilled on his uniform, and as the guard flinched, Kail grabbed the charm. “Whoa, look at that! Better hope I’m not a criminal, or I just stole the entry charm away from you. But it’s all right if that happens, right, because you’re on break!” As the guard sputtered again, trying to wipe his uniform and grab the charm at the same time, Kail leaned in and shoved the guard against the wall for a third time. “How would that look in your report? Bad guys stole my charm, but don’t worry, Archvoyant, it doesn’t count, I was
on break
at the time. Who even authorized breaks when we’re dealing with a high-security prisoner transport?”

The young guard slapped at Kail’s hand. “What are you talking about? It’s one old lady! And who
are
you, anyway? I know every guard in this port, and you’re not one of us!”

“You know
every
guard? Wow, that’s really impressive, buddy.” Kail leaned in until his nose almost touched the guard’s. “You even know the special ones they brought in to oversee the prisoner transfer?”

The guard swallowed, his eyes trying to find someplace to be that wasn’t here. “Well, no, not the ogre and the other two, but—”

“Oh, so this prisoner transfer is important enough that there are
special
guards you don’t know,” Kail went on through clenched teeth, still nose to nose with the guard. “People above your clearance level, you might say. People lurking out of uniform so that if something
happens
that might endanger this beautiful Republic, they can come in out of nowhere and kick that danger where the sun don’t shine. You want to ask me again who I am?”

“No?” the guard squeaked.

“You sure about that?” Kail kept his eyes level with the guard. “’Cause you
look
like maybe you want to ask.”

“I don’t want to ask,” the guard said, “sir.”

“All right.” Kail stepped back and gave the guard something closer to normal personal space. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Taking breaks. Six months we’ve been putting this together, and someone has the uniforms taking breaks. Son of a bitch. All right. We can do this.” He began to pace, twirling the crystal entry charm around his finger. “Can’t change the schedule, or it’d look suspicious, but damned if you’re walking around an unsecured civilian area with the charm just hanging out.”

“I could hide it,” the guard tried.

Kail gave him a long look, waited until the guard squirmed a little, and then slowly nodded. “Okay. Yeah. All right, that could work. Here’s what we’re gonna do.” He fished in a pocket and produced a small cloth pouch. “You put the charm in here, and then you put the pouch down
here
.” He tucked it into his pants. “You leave it in a jacket, some pickpocket lifts it, and then the wrong people get into the port, and then, soldier, we’ve got blood in the streets.” He pulled a pouch out and tossed it to the guard, adding, “
Blood in the streets
. We’re not having that. Not today, right?”

“Right, sir.” The guard tucked the pouch into his pants, then swallowed again. “Not today.”