Authors: Meira Chand
She shrugged. Dicky took her hand suddenly. ‘And now to give even your small allowance, your only
independence,
to this dreadful woman. I cannot get over it.’ He was genuinely shocked.
It was not unpleasant to Amy to receive his sympathy, or to share her discontent at last.
‘And is he brutal? Has he ever hurt you?’ Dicky asked, his eyes uncertain of the responsibility he was inviting.
She nodded mutely, not wishing to speak open lies. A man of Reggie’s temperament was capable, once provoked, of any violence. He could just as well have beaten her; it was a miracle he had not. The distinction then of what Reggie
might
have done and what he had
not
seemed uncertain enough to justify her manipulation
of the truth. It was necessary to allow Dicky to think upon these lines. She needed his collusion.
‘You must help me. I know nothing of banking or my rights in any matter. Think of something, Dicky,’ Amy repeated.
‘It is easy, really,’ Dicky suddenly decided. ‘I shall write to the Chartered Bank in London, to their head office, instructing them on your behalf to remit your portion of the money directly to your account in Yokohama, and the balance to Mr Redmore as is usual. I shall also write to your father that he must confirm this officially with them.’ Dicky spoke authoritatively, decided now upon his role, inescapably, in the matter.
‘Can it really be done so easily?’ she asked in
amazement.
Dicky’s sudden command cut through her
frustration.
She could not battle on her own without a delegate in a male-processed world. If she wrote herself it was likely, given the unreasonable connivance of that world, that the authority to direct her own affairs would be referred to Reggie for confirmation. Now Dicky would see it was done. How useful he was, how devoted he was, how unassuming and endearing. She put out a hand in gratitude, leaning forward to touch his cheek. She allowed him to take her in his arms and kiss her on the lips. He was sweating, and his face was unpleasantly damp against her. He grasped her to him tightly, pleading with the press of his hands for everything she denied him. She drew back then, by the formality of her body rejecting anything more. It would not be unpleasant later to teach him all he wished to learn, but not now. And Dicky expected nothing. He had fine and gentlemanly principles that she could not afford to break. At this moment she needed him not as a lover, but as a friend and confidant. She suspected he was still a virgin, if that were possible in Yokohama.
Dicky wiped his flushed face with a handkerchief. ‘I shouldn’t have done that. It won’t happen again. You must think me no better than
him,’
he apologized.
Over his shoulder she looked at the remnants of the straw mat where she had lain with Guy le Ferrier, and
was surprised even now at the audacity she had shown on that day. She had projected the considerable force of her will then to secure herself a future. Now, within this same hut, in a subtler way, she manipulated Dicky equally to secure a future of different needs.
The
Japan
Weekly
Mail
summary of news:
A telegram received from the Japanese Consulate at Bombay states that the black death is very rife and has attacked a foreigner employed at the Japanese Consulate.
In consequence of the death of the Empress Dowager certain charitable institutions as well as persons over seventy years will receive presents of money from the authorities.
In deference to the feelings of the Japanese nation the Grand Concert at the Public Hall and the Cantata at the Union Church next week have been postponed.
The staff of the
Yokohama
Post
and
Telegraph
office is greatly overworked at present, the pressure of business being phenomenal.
Mr Carlisle, Secretary of the United States Treasury,
estimates
a deficit of sixty-four million dollars for the current financial year.
Yokohama was baffled, confused and angry. Jessie Flack had been suddenly and inexplicably arrested on the same charge as Amy: the murder of Reggie Redmore. It is not possible, people said. Unheard of, and upon what charges? The town was in an uproar. At Jack Easeley’s insistence the British Consulate had finally and reluctantly issued the warrant. The grounds for this unprecedented move were the likelihood of Jessie Flack having written the Annie Luke letters and of having copied her mistress’s
writing. There was her access to the deceased, the proof of her having purchased arsenic for the Redmores, besides the whispered implication of a secret liaison with Reggie. Amy smiled to herself, her face grey and pinched,
satisfied
at the turn of events. Jessie had thought herself cleverer than Amy, but now in a separate trial she would speak out at last against Jessica Flack.
Jack Easely had warned her already about the climate in the town at the charge against Jessie. ‘There is an outcry, and it has destroyed any sympathy left for you in most people’s eyes.’
‘I do not care any more about people,’ Amy answered.
Jack Easely shook his head. ‘It has changed the question in most people’s minds from “Did Amy Redmore murder her husband?” to “Since murder has been done, did Amy Redmore or Jessica Flack murder Reginald Redmore?” If you can see the difference, that is,’ he remarked grimly, looking at her hard. She twisted her rings and did not meet his eyes.
‘And people are already saying I have trumped up charges to arrest the Flack woman so that you can give evidence against her. It’s not turning out as I thought. If you are holding anything back you must tell me now. Tell me the truth,’ he demanded.
‘I have told you the truth,’ she said.
From then onwards for a brief few days they went backwards and forwards between court room and court room. The preliminary proceedings against Jessie Flack began early in the morning before the commencement each day of Amy Redmore’s trial. The strain and confusion were impossible. It seemed to Amy they were the harassed actors in a serious but unfortunate play that had quickly turned to farce. They scurried hither and thither, they improvised words and hypotheses against a total ignorance of timing. It was worse than a ludicrous parody performed at the Gaiety Theatre. They seemed to prove only their own exhaustion. And it came to nothing. Within days a motion was passed that their evidence was not strong enough to support the application for a full trial at this stage against Jessie Flack. Amy’s own trial
would not be suspended, and Jessie was out and free on bail. The proceedings against her were adjourned until such time as Amy’s case was concluded and the verdict known.
‘It has all done you no good,’ Jack Easely said in despair. ‘I should not have allowed you to persuade me. The town is set square against us both for attempting to charge Jessie Flack. In their eyes she is an innocent woman and a further victim of your guile. I’m just repeating gossip,’ he said hurriedly as Amy’s face grew angry. But Jack Easely seemed relieved at the
adjournment
of the proceedings. He was alone, without help, in his counsel for Amy. He spent each night deep in books and briefs without the aid of the endless assistants retained by the prosecution. They were both wearing badly now under the strain, white and tense and
bleary-eyed
from sleeplessness. Dark circles edged their
cheekbones
and the hollows of their faces. And the witnesses called by the prosecution seemed endless.
‘Irrelevant, purposely irrelevant,’ Jack Easely exploded, pacing up and down before Amy. He had already complained to Judge Bowman.
‘This case is being unnecessarily expanded. It is growing from day to day, and I object to witnesses being called, copies of whose depositions I have not received. It puts me in the position that I do not know the nature of the evidence nor how to meet it in cross-examination.’ He looked in accusation at Robert Russell. ‘My learned friend wishes to both confuse and impress the jury with the weight by quantity of his case. I have to defend a prisoner who is unable to obtain any other counsel.’ Mr Russell had jumped triumphantly to his feet to object to Mr Easely’s accusation. Voices were raised.
Judge Bowman called for silence with his hammer. He nodded on high in condescending sympathy for Jack Easely but not for his task. ‘Your position is perfectly understandable. You have to defend someone who would otherwise not be defended. Mr Easely asks for the morning tomorrow to look over his papers. Would Mr Russell have any objections to make?’
‘No, my lord, I have none,’ Mr Russell replied, his words rounded and vulpine.
And each day now Dr Whiting Sweeting Worden was called by the prosecution to inform on the rapid rate of heart and pulse of the immobile Jessie Flack, prostrated by shock in the severest of forms since the announcement of her arrest. The freedom of bail and the sympathy of the town had failed to revive her.
‘I have again visited Miss Flack at Miss Brittain’s, the missionary at No. 2 Bluff.’
‘What is the condition of her health?’
‘Her heart is in a weak condition through shock.’
‘Can you judge if she is in a fit condition to give evidence to this court, if not today then tomorrow or the day after?’ Mr Russell inquired.
‘In my opinion she is not and cannot,’ said Dr Whiting Sweeting Worden.
There was a murmur of sympathy that flowered at the mention of Jessie Flack’s condition. Someone shouted ‘Shame’ and old Mr Porter stood and issued a single word from beneath his mulberry nose, looking straight at Amy. ‘Humbug,’ he yelled. People nodded in agreement; his neighbour restrained him and pulled him down. Judge Bowman banged sharply with his hammer, and Mr Moss ordered silence in the court. The rows of eyes settled once more on Amy. They accused her of dismantling conclusions already comfortably decided. They were stern with her wish to escape.
There was a large attendance, chiefly of loafers from the purlieus of Chinatown. They waited for the appearance of compatriots whose words the next day would appear in the papers and live for evermore. There had been
shopkeepers
and
rikisha
men ad infinitum; handwriting experts of dubious competence were called to attest that Amy’s ‘i’s’ and her ‘y’s’ imitated Jessie’s, or that Jessie’s ‘f’s’ and ‘r’s’ might deliberately copy her own. From the beginning she herself had marvelled at the similarity of their
handwriting.
There were casual acquaintances met upon walks asked to give accounts of her expression; her diary was quoted without conclusion.
The shopkeepers, bookkeepers and assistants at
chemists,
and the handwriting expert, Benjamin Mason, who was no expert but a humble teacher, briefly chess editor of the
Japan
Mail,
filled days ten, eleven and twelve. Witnesses passed one another in a verbose and continuous stream; they declared to God in the British manner, they declared by Scottish oath, or as Jews beneath their hats. Amy’s attention lagged; all voices seemed now but one voice that went on without an end.
Via an interpreter Hayashi Shichiro, employed at the chemist Maruya to attend to the sale of drugs, confirmed through a hedge of protruding teeth Amy’s frequent purchases of arsenic from his store during Reggie’s last week. His face was slow to comprehend, his smile affable but inane.
‘I am a shopman of the store. I sold arsenic on three consecutive days, on 19, 20 and 21 October, to a foreign woman, one ounce on each occasion. On the 19th with the arsenic I also sold sugar of lead.’
‘Can you describe the person who came to your shop?’
‘The person who came was a woman, a foreigner. She was not tall, not stout. I cannot say who she was. I cannot actually identify her.’
‘Then at what time on the 19th did she come? At what time on the 20th? In the forenoon or the afternoon? Is the time not written?’
The voices struck sharp and quick about the dragging patches of Hayashi Shichiro’s voice, like an orchestra in play. Amy no longer listened. Sounds came through, questions, words without connection. The warder touched her arm, and when she failed to respond pulled on it hard.
‘Will you look now at Mrs Redmore and say whether you recognize her as the lady who came to your shop on the 19, 20 and 21 October.’
‘I do not know. I cannot say I recognize her. She might have come. On the 21st Miss Flack came.’
Amy sat down again.
‘How do you know Miss Flack’s face? Why can you recognize
her
?’
‘When she came on the 21st I did not know her name, but she came again on the 24th with another foreign woman and we had a considerable conversation. From that time dates my knowledge of who she is. She came to pay for what was bought on the 21st. She wanted the paper given on the 21st that was signed for by Mrs Redmore.’
William Benjamin Mason, handwriting expert, was recalled yet again and sworn yet again in the Scottish fashion.
‘And are the “d’s” also like Miss Flack’s?’
‘No. Miss Flack’s are slightly turned up, the
perpendicular
stroke being slightly hooked.’
‘What does Mrs Redmore’s “d” do?’
‘It ends abruptly,’ said Benjamin Mason.
Jack Easely jumped up to protest. ‘But when you find that in one short letter there are twelve initial “s’s” written in one way and three initial “s’s” written in the other way, by what method or reasoning do you come to the conclusion that the three are more characteristic than the twelve?’
‘I explained that yesterday, and these were the three I selected.’ Benjamin Mason pursed his lips obstinately.
Amy turned her head and looked out of the window until the voices faded from her ears.
From her chair Jessie looked Rachel up and down, her lips tightened in distaste.
‘You’re more than a few months gone. You ought to be ashamed. Have you told the mistress?’ Jessie questioned.
Rachel shook her head.
‘You can’t hide it much longer. And you brought up by nuns in an orphanage. It’s that groom in the stables, I’ll bet. How’re you going to keep a baby?’
Rachel hung her head, miserable and sick. She hated Jessie Flack.
‘She’ll throw you out when she knows,’ Jessie taunted. She returned her attention to her work. She had fetched a sheet of soft paper from the privy, arranging the bits of torn letter on it, matching, changing, shaking her head before securing them with her needle and thread. ‘I’ve got it all now and not a bit missing. I can stitch as well as Bertha.’ Rachel turned towards the door. ‘You’ll stay here, miss,’ Jessie ordered. Rachel waited sullenly, her face changing as the shadows moved, in one light oriental, in another occidental. Jessie beckoned her forward, fixing a last ragged snippet of letter. She smiled and clapped her hands.
‘It’s from that Mr Huckle, like ’em all. Now listen to this. I’ll show you what our mistress is. I read you that last one, you know what that said.’ Jessie began to read. Rachel observed her in deepening hatred. What did it matter what the mistress did? On the desk before Jessie was a paper with Mrs Redmore’s writing – a letter or
prescription, Rachel could not tell; she had no proficiency in reading. Beside it was a half-written copy. Jessie stood up whilst reading and walked towards the light. It was difficult for Rachel to comprehend the sense of such complicated English. She could understand the words though not in the end what the letter said, but nothing so vital was lost on Jessie. She gave a whoop as she finished the letter, clutching it to her, rejoicing in her fortune. ‘She’s no better than a harlot is our precious mistress. I’ve all the evidence I could wish, if I ever need it.’
‘You is wicked, bad like a devil,’ Rachel said. ‘And why are you copying her writing?’
‘A bit of amusement,’ Jessie answered. ‘You never know when it may come in useful. And look, this is her writing and this is mine; there’s not that much difference anyways. If she tells any lies to my parents, I’ve plenty to prove what she is. It’s for my own protection.’
‘You is a devil, wicked. Wicked,’ Rachel repeated fearfully.
Jessie sat down at the desk again when Rachel was gone. Mrs Redmore’s writing stared up at her from a chit, a shopping list of the day before. She put it away and took out a clean paper and began to write.
‘Amy Redmore. A. Redmore. Amy. Reggie. Dearest Reggie. Your loving wife Amy.’ She had it perfectly now, without even looking at Mrs Redmore’s writing. ‘Amy Redmore,’ she wrote again. The name plunged deeper and deeper within her. It was as if she were possessed. Each time she wrote Mrs Redmore’s name the same
feelings
of hate and excitement brewed up. She did not even know why she needed to keep writing, devouring Mrs Redmore again and again. She could never look long enough at her, was never close enough to her neat, firm body, in the pew at church or beside her in the nursery. Alone in her room she arranged her own hair in the style Mrs Redmore favoured. She had a Chinese shoemaker sew shoes identical to the French ones Mrs Redmore had bought in Lane Crawford, and used them secretly on her hours off. She stole one of Mrs Redmore’s garters and
wore it next to her skin. At lunch on Sunday, beside her employers, she watched the exchange of looks, the thick currents of emotion between them, her heart pumping in anticipation. Staring at Mr Redmore, she wondered what it would be like to be Mrs Redmore, held in his grasp, his body pressed against her. The feelings quickened in her. And invariably, as these thoughts passed through her mind, Mr Redmore raised his eyes and observed her steadily, until she blushed and looked away. Again and again each Sunday lunch. Mrs Redmore appeared not to notice, chatting to the children.
Mrs
Redmore.
Jessie saw her again in her mind, standing before the mirror, arched against Mr Huckle, the deep, naked vee of her flesh blatant above the neckline of her dress as Mr Huckle kissed her. Jessie drew a sharp breath at the nursery desk. Her body felt on fire. She took another piece of paper from the drawer.
‘Amy Redmore, Amy Huckle, Amy Armitage,’ she wrote and gave a sudden harsh laugh. Folding up the paper, she placed it between the leaves of the little birthday book she carried in her pocket. She tore up the other papers and threw them away. But even as she did so she knew that nothing would destroy the hold Amy Redmore had upon her. She hated her,
hated
her.
*
The ball at the Chinese Legation was a lavish affair. Amy and Reggie had been invited, Mabel was there with Patrick. They delivered their wraps to an army of servants in magnificent costumes and were marched in procession to the ballroom where the Chinese Minister and Lady Yu received them. On the stairs they passed the Baroness d’Anethan, regal in green satin.
‘Did you ever see the likes of her?’ Mabel whispered, staring at Lady Yu, who was dressed in mauve brocade trimmed with white ostrich feathers and a mass of barbaric jewels. ‘Why on earth doesn’t she keep to her own Chinese dress?’
‘She looks exactly like a picture of a Begum,’ Amy decided. ‘The Minister’s jade ring is said to be worth five thousand dollars.’ Chinese guests in their exotic clothes
mixed curiously with the uniforms of naval and military officers, kimonoed ladies and European guests.
‘Did you ever see such a mish-mash of dress?’ Mabel asked. There were Chinese and Japanese in European attire too, and the Europeans had struck out
adventurously
in strange combinations of colour and style. ‘Maybe they all think it’s a fancy dress ball,’ Mabel commented, observing an American compatriot draped in a kimono.
‘How quaintly the Chinese gentlemen dance the Russian contre-danse. Their pigtails come alive,’ Amy said.
‘Yes, and just look at that one over there having a fine old time with you know who.’ Mabel nodded in the direction of Mrs Bolithero, who danced abandonedly with her Chinese partner in his long satin embroidered gown. His pigtail flew and thumped his back at Mrs Bolithero’s exertions; she whirled him round and round. Amy looked at her in horror. She must have been invited through the manager of the Mercantile Bank, who watched her possessively from a chair, his leg bound up with gout. Reggie also watched her, forced to hover on the sidelines talking business with a group of men behind Mr
Buchanan’s
chair.
‘I hate to tell you, but he bought her those emerald earrings she’s wearing,’ Mabel whispered again. ‘I know because, when I went into Schultz about my rubies, the emeralds had been set aside and I was told they were sold to Mr Redmore.’
‘Does it matter?’ Amy asked. ‘It’s Reggie’s life. He can do as he wishes. We’ve come beyond those things.’
‘Furthermore,’ Mabel continued, ‘it would seem their purchase has secured him what he wanted. He’s been seen leaving her room at the Grand several times at an hour too late for propriety.’
Amy shrugged, not wishing to hear any more.
‘I’m telling you only because with Patrick I don’t mind what he does as long as I know. Not to know is not to be in control, and that’s such a humiliation,’ Mabel concluded, eyeing the Chinese Minister, a Manchu of powerful weight and height attired in a coat of yellow
brocade lined with Mongolian fur. ‘Are you sure he’s not sneaked more of your money to buy her those emeralds?’ Mabel inquired. Amy laughed. It was not possible now that Dicky had taken her affairs in hand. And yet the seed, once sown by Mabel, grew unfairly in her mind. She was deliberately flippant when asking Reggie about Mrs Bolithero’s earrings, after returning home.
Reggie was silent, regarding her over a brandy and soda. ‘Since you ask, I’ll tell you. I’d have spoken of it anyway, for I’ve been informed by the Chartered Bank of Mr Huckle’s interference.’ Amy drew a breath. Reggie leaned forward and continued. ‘Of course, no such thing could receive their sanction without my permission and approval. I have told them to ignore your instructions. What made you think it possible? And as for the earrings, I was under certain obligations to her,’ he said
mysteriously.
‘She wished me to buy her the earrings. I could not refuse. I needed money quickly. I cabled your father to write me an advance on the next settlement in December. Two can play at that game, Amy. And as for that little nincompoop, that
Youth.
He’s no more than a downright fool,’ Reggie sneered.
‘How could you write to Father for
that
woman
?
Isn’t it enough that she’s taken my June allowance? And now already you want my next money in hand, and for that woman again.’ Amy gripped the arm of her chair.
Reggie leaned back, crossing his legs. ‘I’d not have done it but you went like that behind my back, thinking you’d make your own arrangements, thinking you’d make a fool of me.’
*
They had come down from Miyanoshita just in time, for a September typhoon had rattled across the country, swamping the Fujiya Hotel and nearly blowing a Japanese inn at Kiga off its rocky perch. Its flowers were battered, its goldfish scooped up and tossed indiscriminately about. In Yokohama the commotion was considerable, slates and bricks and trees uprooted as easily as dry leaves.
Rikishas
were lifted and slammed against walls like a squashed massacre of black beetles. The wind suffered and howled
and the rain struck down in a load of iron ammunition. But now it was over, and in the damp woods of the Bluff steam rose from a drying earth. The wreckage of trees cut off paths; ants worked at dead birds and rats.
‘Let’s go back to the hut,’ said Dicky.
‘Will it still be there?’ Amy wondered. They turned the horses around. The hut, when they reached it, stood unharmed, shielded by the camellia trees. It leaked and squelched, a part of the roof was gone and showed the open sky, there was a thick and musty smell.
‘Now tell me,’ said Dicky. ‘How can any of this be? It defies my imagination.’ He wiped a tea box and Amy sat down. ‘How could he use your money for that woman?’
‘Well, it’s true,’ said Amy. ‘He wrote for the money himself to my father.’
‘Dear God,’ said Dicky, ‘he’s vile.’
‘You don’t know what he’s like when he’s angry. And why didn’t you think the bank would warn him? Oh, it’s my fault too – I should have realized. I thought I was being clever. I must think of another way.’
‘The best way is to leave him. He feels he can do as he likes with you.’ He held her hands, worried.
The time was not yet ripe; she needed firmer evidence for a court of law. He took her suddenly in his arms. ‘Will you do as I say?’ His voice was hoarse; he cleared his throat. ‘Divorce at all costs, I’m here beside you. I’ll do anything to help you, anything you say.’
*
Reggie burst into the drawing room, Amy looked up from her book. By his expression she could see he had news, and that for the duration of its telling there was to be a truce in their relationship. He went to the sideboard and poured a drink, then sat in a chair.
‘Do you know what I heard today? You’ll never guess in a hundred years,’ he said.
‘If to guess is that hopeless, why should I try?’ Amy inquired, not raising her eyes from her book.
‘It’s Annie, Annie Luke. After all these years, by God.’ Reggie gulped his brandy and soda. Amy put down her book in shock, her heart began to thump.
‘Is she here?’ she asked as calmly as she could. They had heard nothing of Annie Luke for years. The child had died of diptheria when it was three, freeing Amy from the woman.
‘Near enough,’ Reggie replied. ‘It seems she’s in Port Arthur.’
‘How on earth has she got there? Is she following you?’ Amy asked.
‘Shouldn’t think so, unfortunately. Wouldn’t mind seeing Annie again,’ Reggie chuckled. ‘Chap for
Vladivostok
came into the club today, been over to Port Arthur. Never seen him before, but he mentioned her name in connection with a fellow called Reilly who owns a timber firm in Port Arthur. This Reilly seems an odd sort – dubious, I’d call him. Some people say he’s a spy, he comes often to Tokyo on mysterious business. The chappie from Vladivostok said Reilly was having trouble with his English wife and was involved with the fiancée of his senior assistant, a woman called Annie Luke who’s come out from England to marry. He couldn’t describe her much, but said she was blonde and came from Cornwall. Of course I didn’t let on I might know her, but I’m sure as hell it’s our Annie. And in these parts too, by jove. Who’d ever have thought it?’
‘She’s not
our
Annie, she’s
your
Annie.’ Amy closed her book with a snap. Reggie took no notice of the remark, busy in thoughts of his own.
‘Who knows, she might come to Japan. We might see her here in Yokohama. It’s near enough to Port Arthur. Think of that – Annie here.’ Reggie considered.
‘I’ve no wish to think of such a thing,’ Amy replied. ‘I’ve done enough for the woman. I want no more of her now.’
‘Well, you never know,’ said Reggie.
‘I hope you’ll not try and contact her,’ Amy threatened.
‘I might, and again I might not,’ Reggie replied.
‘If she comes here or has contact with you, she’ll be asking for money, sure as I know my own name. And I’m not paying a penny to your Annie again,’ Amy said.
‘What are we talking about, anyway? She might never come to Yokohama,’ Reggie shouted.
‘I’m just warning you, and don’t raise your voice to me,’ Amy said.
‘Go to hell,’ Reggie replied and left the room, drink in hand, slamming the door behind him.
She opened her book again but could not read. She was back on that verandah in Sungei Ujong, faced with the discovery of Annie Luke. She had never digested the shock, never grown beyond the moment, it seemed to her now, confronted with the woman again, invisible as before.
She had had enough.
Enough.
Divorce at all costs, Dicky had said. She must give Reggie a shock, pull the ground from under his feet; she must learn cleverness, Mabel had said. Amy stood up and walked to the window. Beyond the garden the sky was alive with the setting sun, she watched it slip behind the hills. She needed a plan of action. She twisted her rings in growing agitation, her mind full of Annie Luke. The thought that Reggie had got at her money for Mrs Bolithero was more than she could bear. And now Annie Luke loomed again, waiting to destroy her. She was justified before the world in finding a way to leave Reggie. The problem was to prove his character and abuse of her private money. Proof, she knew, was never easily obtained. She sat back in the chair to think.