The Pages Between Us (16 page)

OK, fine. I won't talk about Danny, even if I am totally right. But you notice everything about him—his lemonade stand, his braces-free teeth, everything. There's something going on there and you don't see it.

Just like how you've become friends with Savannah Swanson's crew when it hurts me. You don't see that either. I wish it didn't hurt, but it does. I want to think they're not so mean, but I don't even know
how
to give them a chance.

The thing is, I don't think you're being fair. Like AT ALL. You know what a big deal chess is to me and you know why. You don't know what it's like to suddenly be an only child and try to, like, win your parents' love when all they want to do is call Jason and talk about Jason and wonder about Jason and JasonJasonJason.

Your mom is so easygoing and your dad . . . your dad used to VOLUNTEER IN YOUR CLASSROOM. Remember? And then he stopped because you didn't like him reading with you in class because it made you nervous? I don't think my dad
could name one teacher of mine. Ever. He knows the names of every ancient civilization and their modes of communication, but he can't even talk to me about why school gives me a stomachache.

You say that we have the same problems at home, but we don't. You don't understand what I'm going through. How could you?

Friendship is about sacrifice, and you haven't been doing that much for me lately. I haven't even seen you since you got all obsessed with being friends with everyone and their mom.

Are you jealous that I've gotten close to Ellie? Is that what this is really about?

I'm not going to apologize, Piper. That's what always happens. You get mad and I say I'm sorry, even if I'm not the one who was wrong. You should have asked me if that time worked before you scheduled it. Everything is always about YOU, and now there is something about ME, and I'm not sorry about it.

So . . . there.

Olivia

Fine. Don't come to my party. There are ten other people who would love to come. And no, I'm not jealous of you. AT ALL. I've been super understanding and there for you for years. I'm the one who brought you a fake plant to cheer you up when those girls humiliated you. I'm ALWAYS cheering you up. And I didn't even TALK to the Savannah Swanson girls at first, even though they were nice to me. I was
trying
to be nice to you—cover your back, like
always
. But what happens? The first chance you get, you ditch me to shove a horsey thing across a checkerboard.

I'm going to call my mom and have her come pick me up early. And don't tell me I don't understand what it's like to be in your shoes. Feeling alone is feeling alone. Sympathy is sympathy. Parents are parents, Olivia. At least you don't have a sibling around anymore getting in the way! (Okay. Not that I think my siblings get in the way. You were just being super only-childy there. AND YOU AREN'T EVEN AN ONLY CHILD!)

P—

Fine. I won't come, and I don't even feel bad. I'll probably go to Dairy Queen after with my friends and have best time ever! That's real mature to leave the animal shelter IN NEED because you're mad at me. Here, take the notebook.

O—

Keep the notebook.

Don't bother writing me anything else.

I won't read it.

Have a nice CHESS-FILLED life!

Two days. We've had two days of silence.

But you know what? I have things I want to say and this is the only way I know how to tell you. I know you won't read this. And it doesn't even matter.

It's strange how I thought this notebook was going to be the thing that kept us together . . . the thing that would be our lifeline. But all it did was tear us apart.

You have a whole new world now. Friends. Popularity. A super-long party-invite list.

And you're just . . . gone.

Honestly, I'm glad you're gone. You deserve your paper-thin friendships. You'd rather throw some attention-seeking bash just to put on a spectacular show than spend a boring night watching me play a chess tournament.

Guess what? Life isn't a soap opera, Piper. So why are you always trying to make it one?

Why couldn't you have postponed the party? Don't you see that I've finally found MY thing? That Chess Club is the
place where I truly feel like myself? I don't even feel like myself around you anymore.

I hope you enjoy your pottery and your new friends. Or friends who are acting like friends. Just don't come running to me when they all ignore you once this party is over. That's what people like them do to other people. They act like they're your friend and then set you up for humiliation the next chance they get. They're just the same as Savannah Swanson and those girls in third grade. JUST THE SAME. I mean, some of those ARE the same because they were WITH Savannah!

Don't come looking for me when they aren't there anymore. I'm not going to be there for you either.

I would end this with a grateful, but right now, I can't think of anything I'd want to share with you.

And that makes me sadder than you'll ever know.

Olivia

Whether you ever read this or not, just know that my life is crumbling. My life is a Girl Scout shortbread cookie.

You know that letter to Jackson? The one I've been writing on my lunch napkin? The one Ellie and her friends are helping me with?

It's.

Terrible.

They want me to make jokes. Actual knock-knock jokes. That's their idea of flirting.

I have no idea what to say to him. That's always been your department. You always have the best suggestions, the best ideas. But now your department doesn't exist.

This isn't easy. It's just not.

—Olivia

Here's the lame letter they want me to give him. Not that you'll even see this.

My life is crumbling.

(This page is my soul, Piper.)

(Empty.)

BETHANY'S BUSINESS

Holy hippopotamus! I know I said last weekend was the best, and at the time it was, but then this weekend happened and ruined all other weekends for me forever.

I'm totally getting ahead of myself. First, let me give my Sunday stats:

3 = number of people I complimented today

6:40 = Time I woke up so I could curl my hair

8:25 = How fast I ran the mile in track!

12th = My reading level! I just finished the last
Lord of the Rings
and now I think I'm going to start some of the Russian novelists. Dad said those are SUPER long and hard ☺

1 gazillion = The number of times my mom complained about the literacy curriculum at our school

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR SOME KUDOS!!

Tessa, who had on the CUTEST reindeer sweater today. I want to steal ALL OF HER CLOTHES.

Tennis team for winning against the Bayside Turtles, which is, like, the lamest mascot. Sorry, Bayside.

Our choir gets to sing songs from
FROZEN
! Oh my gosh, I know those songs by heart, and I hope hope hope I get a solo. Although I'll be happy for whoever gets it.

Oh, and I guess there was some sort of math thing and a chess tournament, and . . . I don't know what else. I don't know where I put my school newsletter. But yay everyone for doing your thing!

So back to my weekend. Friday night was cool. My parents took me to this uber fancy steakhouse and I got to order a lobster tail, and even though I think fish is pretty gross, I loved ordering it. And I wore my adorable pink sequin dress from my aunt Catherine's wedding.

And then Saturday was Piper Jorgensen's birthday party. Piper is that girl who goes to my church and stuck up for Tessa at LEGO Club.

She always seemed kind of . . . like she just wanted to do her own thing before. But now we are, like, WAY close and I love her bunches! She's really, really funny. Anyway, she invited twelve people cuz she's twelve. And then two or three more because she's so so popular. AND THERE WERE BOYS. It was the first guy/girl party my parents let me go to. Not that it was advertised as one. Like we didn't dance or kiss each other or anything. But my parents are usually so strict about it, and they didn't even care that there were boys there! And there is one boy I kind of like, WHO I WON'T NAME, but his name starts with a J. Anyway, we sat by each other during the pottery part. We all got to choose a different ceramic thing, and I heard J say that he loves to drink tea, and although I thought that was kind of gross and weird, since he's twelve, I decided to be super brave and make him a tea MUG. Which is a coffee mug for tea.

Ugh, but here is the bad part. He started talking about another girl.

“Hey, is everyone here already?” he asked me as he smeared more black on his dragon figurine.

“I don't know exactly who RSVPed,” I said helpfully. “But we're twenty minutes in, so anyone with good manners would be here by now.”

“Huh. What about that Olivia girl?”

“Who?”

“You know. Piper's best friend.”