The Pace (23 page)

When we reached the road beyond the neighborhood, I noticed headlights right on my tail. It was him. He was following way too close, and I thought about slamming on my brakes for a moment to send him a message. It turned out I didn’t have to. As soon as the road straightened out from a long bend, the little black sports car passed me on a double line with ease and then disappeared around the next bend. I let out a big sigh and shook my head.

It was about 10:00 by then, and I couldn’t take her home in that state. She was starting to come around some, so I decided to stop and grab some ice cream to make me feel better as I passed the time. I ordered a double scoop of cookies ‘n cream with chocolate syrup and ate it in my car while I waited for her to recover. I concentrated really hard, with each bite, trying to remove the image of Wes from my mind. It wasn’t working.

“What the hell?” Dawn said, sounding groggy, when I was down to my last few bites.

“You’re asking me?” I said, still eating.

“Where are we? How did I get here?”

“I think someone put something in your punch. You passed out.”

“Jerk,” she said.

“Tell me about it.”

“What happened?” she asked, rubbing her temples.

“Well, that Quinn guy tried to molest you in the woods and then Wes came out of nowhere and stopped him. He put you in my car.”

“Wes? I don’t remember a thing.”

“And I think your Jackson guy saw you. He offered to take you home when he saw Wes carrying you, but Wes wouldn’t let him. I don’t think he trusted him. I can’t say I blame him with the state you were in.”

She sank lower into the seat and covered her face. “I’m so embarrassed. I want to die.”

“No you don’t. You’ll be fine,” I assured her. “Just don’t drink the Kool-Aid anymore.”

“Oh my gosh. This is the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“Sophie, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank Wes. I was no match for that guy.”

“What was he doing there?” she asked.

“Don’t know. He wouldn’t say. Maybe he was attending the party.”

“Doubt it,” she said. “Most of those guys are losers.”

I took her home around midnight, and she seemed okay. She said she had a little headache, but nothing that would alarm her parents. I wanted to drive around some more to wind down, but I decided against it. My eyes were getting heavy.

I attempted to run through the whole evening in my head when I got home. I tried to start from the beginning of the party, but I kept seeing Wes’ face. Frustrated, I went to bed. I was both physically and mentally tired.

I went to work the next day as usual. For the first part of my day, it was just me and Mr. Healey. It was very awkward. I couldn’t go stack books because that would’ve left the register unmanned. I was stuck behind the counter, just hoping that he wouldn’t ask me what movie Dawn and I had seen the night before. I was never very good at lying, so I thought if I directed the conversation, then maybe he wouldn’t go there.

“Mr. Healey, do we have any books on reptiles?”

“Uh, yeah, I believe we have a few in aisle two,” he said, not looking away from his cataloging. I still felt guilty.

“Do you mind if I go grab one? I’d like to do some research.”

“No, not at all.”

I walked back to the aisle and started looking through the selections. I ran my finger over several titles on dinosaurs, birds, tigers, and whales before I came across a book titled,
Understanding the Cold-Blooded Creature
. I thought that would be appropriate. I had an idea that I was going about things the wrong way. I was trying to figure out why he was doing things, but I was thinking in terms of human behavior. He wasn’t totally human.

I took it back to the counter and started reading through it. Mainly, I was looking for temperament, mental capacity, and anything that would explain the phenom’s behavior. I read through some passages about the need to regulate body temperature, but I already knew that. Something else that stood out was a paragraph about how their nerves and muscle tissues function better in warmer temperatures. That could’ve explained his mood swings. Maybe it was the cold weather that had him acting all weird and moody. I kept reading. I came to a chapter titled, “Reptile Behavior.” It talked about motivation. I was very curious to learn what makes a cold-blood tick. The chapter described the difference between the warm-blooded and cold-blooded needs. It said that humans do things because they have a natural motivation to do so. It said we eat because we’re hungry; we sleep because we’re tired; and we exercise to remain healthy.

Reptiles, on the other hand, operate on a more basic level. It said that their main motivation in life is to survive day to day. It said their very basic needs were food and shelter, but they really don’t need things beyond that, like companionship. It said to understand them, one must realize that the only way to provide for their needs is to keep it as happy and unstressed as possible. It also said they do not like feeling pressured or cornered.

I knew Wes had cold-blood in him, and his life was dominated by it, so I had to believe these could be true about him also. His number one motivation, naturally, was to live day to day. His basic need was survival, and he didn’t need companionship. I was different. I needed food and shelter to survive as well, but mentally my main motivation was happiness. His wasn’t. I needed him, and I had let him see that. According to the book, he didn’t like to feel cornered, and that was exactly what I must have been doing.

I wasn’t sure if that was accurate, but it did provide me with a momentary explanation. I closed the book and returned it to the shelf. It really didn’t make me miss him any less, but it did answer some of my questions, and had I not just seen him with a cute blonde, I might have tried to figure him out some more.

I heard Dawn’s voice at the front as I walked back to the counter. I was glad she’d made it in. She looked like hell, but I wasn’t about to tell her that. She said she’d woken up with a horrible headache. She asked me to stack for her, so she could rest at the counter, and I was glad to oblige. I rolled the full cart toward the aisles and started putting the books in the appropriate sections. When I had the time, I even tried to alphabetize them so the customers could find certain titles easier. Mr. Healey didn’t really like that, because he said the customers would start asking for the whole store to be like that. But I did it on occasion anyway.

About halfway through my first cart, Dawn came back pretending to be looking for a book.

“I feel like crap,” she whispered.

“Man, I’m sorry to hear that,” I offered.

“I want to wring that guy’s neck,” she said, leaning close.

“Well, you have his name and number.”

“I already tried that. It was a bogus number, and Jackson said he hadn’t ever heard of a Quinn.”

“Yikes. That’s scary.” It really was—to think something like that could happen so quickly. I shook off the thought. “Did you say Jackson? You talked to him?”

Her demeanor lightened up a bit. “Yes. He called me last night to see how I was doing. He said he would’ve taken me home himself, but some tall guy wouldn’t let him.”

We both laughed.

“Did you talk to Wes yet?”

I looked at her as if she had two heads. “What for?”

“To thank him.”

“Oh, no. He’s not interested in talking to me, and really, I am tired of calling him. He’s moved on.” I didn’t like the sound of that, but it was the truth.

“Well, I think we should thank him.”

“You can go right ahead,” I told her.

“Can you call him now?” she asked. “I really owe him.”

“I’m not calling him. He won’t answer.” I was certain. “You can call though.”

She pulled out her phone and asked for his number. I dialed it for her and gave her the phone. It couldn’t have been two rings before he picked up the phone.
Jerk
, I thought. So he wasn’t making it a habit to avoid
everyone’s
phone call, just the ones coming from my number.

“Hi Wes?...Yes, this is Dawn. Sophie’s friend. I just wanted to call and thank you for saving my ass last night. I really appreciate it….Yeah, well thanks anyway, really. Okay, bye.” She hit the off button and slid the phone back into her pocket. “He seemed nice.” I let out a grumble in my chest and went back to stacking. “Well, he was,” she said, walking back to the front.

I felt like I was living in some sort of nightmare. What are the odds that I would move to a new state and meet a guy who was the result of some transfusion gone wrong, but right, making him a miraculous being. And what are the odds I would be the only one who knew his secret only to be tormented by being made an outcast? It could’ve easily been a nightmare except for the fact that if it was, I wouldn’t have felt like I loved him, and he wouldn’t have had so many weaknesses. No, I was certain I was not in a nightmare. It only felt like one.

B
y the time Wes’ birthday came around, I hadn’t seen or heard from him. I wasn’t sure whether I should contact him, and the thought bothered me all day. He really didn’t deserve a well-wishing in my mind, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then, I remembered that he didn’t want me to acknowledge it, and that was enough to motivate the oppositional defiance in me. I wasn’t going to call him, but I was going to bring it up, so I settled on a simple text. HAPPY BIRTHDAY was all I wrote and, of course, he never replied.

One would think that time made things better, but it didn’t. I only grew to miss him more. It didn’t help that every time Tom came over he would say, “So, where is Wes? You know, that boy is going to be something someday.” I had to tell him that we were not hanging out anymore. Then, it didn’t help that my mom would ask me every few days, “Has Wes called?” As my stares grew more hostile in reaction to the question, she eventually knew to stop asking, but his absence was constantly hovering in my house.

I decided that what I needed was a break and some fresh air. One night, I drove to the overlook. Even though it was where Wes and I had first decided to start seeing each other, it didn’t matter. The view was unmatchable and instantly calming.

I pulled right up to the ledge and sat in my car, just thinking about how things began to spiral out of control. Our relationship seemed so perfect, all the way through New Year’s. I thought we loved each other so much that I wanted to take things to a deeper level with him.

I guess I had reason to be happy. He could’ve very well taken my innocence that night, and then turned around and broken up with me. I suppose I had good reason to be thankful, but I wasn’t. It made things all the more confusing. He had been so loving to me in every single moment we were together, and then just like that, it was gone. I felt so lonely, and I couldn’t shake the feeling.

I was staring off over the city in deep thought when lights flashed in my rearview mirror. I turned to see an SUV pull in. It parked about thirty feet down and was as close to the edge as I was. Within a few moments, I heard laughing as some guys got out of the truck. They walked around to the front end of their vehicle and leaned against the hood smoking cigarettes. I checked to make sure I had my doors locked, even though there was no indication that they’d noticed me.

After they finished their puffing, they hopped back into their truck and backed out. I leaned my head onto my headrest to return to my previous thoughts. Just then, the SUV turned in my direction and rolled to a stop behind my car. I was pinned in, with nowhere to go except over the cliff, and that made me feel very nervous.

The driver rolled down his window, and I could hear laughter.

“Hey. You got a name?” he said, laughing.

My entire body tensed. Before my brain and mouth met up with each other to offer a reply, another set of lights pulled in. This time, the vehicle pulled in right up to my door, so the lights were blinding me. I started reaching around for my cell phone in a panic.

“There you are,” a familiar voice said. I looked up to see Wes standing at my door with his hands casually in his pockets.

“She’s taken fellas. Let’s go,” I heard from the truck as they drove off.

“Oh my gosh, you scared me,” I said, covering my heart with my hand.

“You’re out here, by yourself at night, and a car full of strange men pin you in, and
I
scare you?”

“You know what I meant.”

“Right,” he said, backing toward his car.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it,” he confirmed.

“Thanks,” I said, sarcastically.

He turned around. “Don’t thank me. Just go home. Please.”

Ugh! I wanted to scream. I was so angry, steam could’ve been seeping out of my ears. What was with this guy? I drove home in complete irritation, and the feeling only worsened as the night went on. I was furious, and to make matters worse, I couldn’t sleep at all, because I was thinking about him.

The next morning, I decided to drive up to his house and demand an explanation for his behavior. I didn’t care if I was cornering him or not. When I got there, his car was parked outside, so I knew he was home.

When I got out of my car, my eyes narrowed as I marched up to his front door. I knocked as hard as I could. He had a doorbell, but I thought the knock would allow me to channel some energy as well as let him know I was serious about whatever game it was he was playing. I waited and there was nothing. I knew he was home, so I kept knocking. After a few minutes, he cracked the door open wide enough for me to see his hair dripping wet and a white pool towel around his waist. My eyes traveled back upward, trying to ignore his six-pack long enough to refocus.

“Umm.” Was all that came out.
Oh my God. What was I going to say?
It finally came to me. I cleared my throat. “What’s your problem?” I asked, firmly, enunciating each word.

He opened the door a bit wider and casually pulled a dry T-shirt over his head. “I can’t seem to get away from you, and that’s a problem.”