The Outlaw and the Lady (16 page)

When he rose above her, she was ready, and when he joined his body to hers, she lifted her hips to welcome him. His guttural groan sounded of possession and his arms tightened around her. She skimmed her hands across his shoulders, over his neck, along his face, resting them there lightly, reveling in the passion he had unleashed.

He rocked against her, his body growing more tense as hers heightened with pleasure. She wanted to dig her fingers into his shoulders in order to stay tethered, but she wanted more to know the many facets of passion that played over his features.

Sensations rippled out from her core, and she splayed her fingers over his face as the darkness
of her world shattered into a million stars of incredible beauty. She cried out, arching beneath him as he shuddered above her. He lowered himself and buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, his breathing harsh, his breath skimming along her collarbone. With one hand, she stroked his broad back, while with the other she touched his face, creating in her mind the image of contentment.

He groaned, and carefully, with their bodies still joined, he rolled them onto their sides. Never in her life had she resented her blindness more, that at this moment she could not see love reflected in his eyes.

He skimmed his fingers along her side, across her bare hip, down her thigh. “I warned you that I was a weak man.”

She smiled softly. “You’re anything but weak.”

He chuckled low. “Not where you’re concerned. I should have returned you to your father the moment I realized you were blind.”

“But the posse—”

“I should have risked it.”

But she was incredibly glad that he hadn’t. To have gone through her life not knowing passion or a love this binding…she could not imagine the emptiness. She didn’t even have the heart to ask him to stop calling her “Angel.” He’d done it twice this evening, and she was surprised that the pain did not come with the reminder of the little boy who had been such a joy. Unexpected sadness rippled through her. She had been Damon’s
angel and he’d died. Now she was Lee’s…and death waited slightly beyond reach for him as well.

Raised up on one elbow, lying on the bed, Lee placed a sliver of watermelon into Angela’s waiting mouth. Under Alejandro’s knowing glare, he’d gone to the kitchen and heaped food onto a plate. His brother wanted to talk; Lee didn’t.

He didn’t need to hear his misgivings voiced or be told that he trod on dangerous ground. Angela was his tonight, tomorrow, for as long as she wanted to stay. When he had to give her up, he would somehow find the strength to do so.

Her fingers journeyed over his chest, halted, journeyed again, halted. “How did you get all these tiny scars?” she asked.

The small indentations had always dotted his flesh. He shrugged, momentarily forgetting that she couldn’t see his movement. “I don’t remember. They’ve always been there.”

“There’s so many. Whatever happened must have been painful.”

“Not so painful if I don’t remember it,” he reassured her. He saw no point in dwelling on what might be unpleasant, especially when the simple act of gazing upon her brought such intense pleasure.

He slipped a grape between her lips, leaned forward, kissed her, and took it into his mouth. God, he wanted to make love to her again. “Still hungry?” he asked.

Shaking her head, she nestled into the pillow. “No.”

Grateful, he set the plate aside before easing his body over hers. If the heavens smiled on him and let him live to be a hundred, he would never have enough of her. She skimmed her fingers along his cheek, a different touch, not searching, but caressing. Last night how could he have even considered making love to her without giving her the freedom to touch him? Without realizing it, he had deprived them both of so much because of his fears of capture. He lowered his mouth to her breast and circled his tongue around the sensitive bud. She combed her fingers through his hair.

“Lee?”

“Mmm?” He suckled gently, relishing the quick intake of her breath.

“Lee, I want to talk.”

“So talk. I am a man of many talents. I can kiss you and listen at the same time.” He trailed his mouth to the valley between her breasts. The way his hand molded around the soft orb was perfection.

“I don’t know…I don’t know if I can talk while you’re doing that.”

Chuckling with satisfaction at her admission, he lavished kisses on her other breast. “Then don’t talk.”

She yanked his hair.

“Ow!” He jerked his head up. “Why did you do that?”

“I want to talk.”

He scowled, a wasted action. He flopped onto his back, then rolled to his side, turned her so her breasts could flatten against his chest, and skimmed his fingers up and down her spine. “All right,
talk
.”

She ran her tongue over her lips. He leaned forward and planted a hard kiss against them.

“Lee!” she scolded.

“Do not draw my attention to your mouth if you do not want me to kiss it.”

Shaking her head slightly, she smiled softly and unerringly laid her palm against his cheek. “Sometimes you remind me of a child.”

“Then let’s play.”

He tucked her beneath him, bracketed his hands on either side of her face, and kissed her soundly, deeply, passionately. Never before in his life had he had time for a woman. He took pride in the fact that he had not fumbled too noticeably, that she had not guessed he was as untutored as she was.

He kissed her cheek, her closed eyes, her brow. He would never grow tired of kissing her.

“My father is an influential man,” she muttered as though from far away, as though she’d force the words past the realm of pleasure.

He nibbled on her earlobe. “So you have said.”

“Christian Montgomery is even more so.”

He stilled, his heart thundering within his chest, a steady staccato beat that seemed to echo within the room. Kit Montgomery’s relentless pursuit of justice was legendary. The man had
fascinated Lee simply because he was the exact opposite of all that Lee had come to stand for.

“Lee, Kit could help you.”

“To the hangman’s noose,
querida
,” he said, pleased that his voice didn’t tremble with the thought of all he would lose if he fell into the legendary Ranger’s hands. With the tip of his tongue, he circled the delicate shell of her ear. He wanted to bury himself deep within her, not face the demons that haunted him.

She dug her fingers into his scalp and lifted his head as though she needed to look him straight in the eye; perhaps she only needed him to see her, worried, fearful, holding the knowledge that he was only passing through her life, not staying for any length of time. It hit him hard that as deeply as he cared for her, he should have spared her this torment.

“If you turned yourself over to Kit, willingly gave yourself up, explained that night, exactly why you killed—”

“No!” He rolled out of bed and began to pace, his bare feet pounding against the planked flooring. “I promised Juanita that I would never tell a soul; I would take what happened that night to the grave with me.”

“Your brothers—”

“Made the same vow once we discovered she was with child.”

She sat up, her hair cascading around her in magnificent glory while tears glimmered within her eyes. “Do you honestly think Juanita wants you to hang?”

“She is not strong like you, Angela.” His chest ached with his failure. “I could never learn how to make her strong.”

“By making her face facts. My God, Lee, don’t you think I was terrified when I discovered that I was blind? I never wanted to leave my bed. I just wanted to lie there and stare at the darkness that my world had become. If the truth would prevent you from hanging—”

“It wouldn’t. I did not kill him in self-defense. That is the way of it.” She jerked back as though he’d slapped her. The tears rolled onto her cheeks, branding his heart with unbridled pain. He sat on the bed, cupped her cheek, and captured a tear with his thumb. “Oh, my angel, I should have never touched you.”

More tears surfaced, dampening her lovely face, pooling at the corners of her mouth. She shook her head. “No, don’t say that. I don’t regret what’s happening between us. I’m just greedy and want more time. The rest of my life. If you’d be willing to meet with my father and Kit, I’m certain that they could prevent your hanging. You might have to go to prison for a while…”

The bed dipped as he shifted his weight, and she eased forward until she could press her face to his back and wrap her arms around his waist. “Maybe it would be enough to just tell them what Shelby did to your family without mentioning Juanita,” she whispered. “It’s a chance for us, Lee.”

He closed his hands over her clasped hands
resting against his stomach. “I don’t know if it’s a chance worth taking. To be with you,
sí
, that would be worth it, but to find myself at the end of a rope if the truth made no difference…I would rather die in a blaze of gunfire.” He lifted her hands, curled his back, and kissed her fingertips. “I’m going to return you to Fortune tomorrow.”

“I no longer want to go back to Fortune. I want to stay here.”

He held his breath, not daring to believe that he’d heard correctly. “You would stay here with me?”

“
Sí
. I’ll even learn Spanish.”

Turning, he combed his fingers through her hair. “What of your parents? Do you not care that they might be worried?”

“I’ll write them a letter, explain that I love you, and that I’ll be happy—”

“
Would
you be happy, Angela?”

“I’ll be happy as long as you’re with me.”

“Even if I never took another cent of Shelby’s money, I am still wanted for murder.”

“I know, but if we were to stay here—”

“You said yourself that this is no life.”

“And you said it was better than nothing at all. It’s where I want to be.”

He shot off the bed with such force that it rocked. He had not expected this. Had not expected her to want to stay. His inadequacies suddenly surfaced. He wanted more for her, so much more than what he had to offer. Did she fully understand what she was sacrificing for him?
“Where you want to be? This land is not ours! We are…like squatters. When the Mexican government discovers us here, we will have to leave.”

She shrugged. “Then we’ll leave.”

“Where will we go?”

“If you refuse to try to get back the land that is rightfully yours, then we’ll go somewhere else. The New Mexico Territory, California, Canada. I don’t care. Just so we’re together.”

His knees hit the floor with a resounding thud and he took her hands. “Angela, I can’t give you fancy dresses.”

“I don’t want fancy dresses. I want you, Lee. I love you.”

He groaned low in his throat as he pressed her fingertips to his lips. “I have to think on this.”

“Think on it all you want; I’m not leaving.”

He chuckled. “You are a stubborn woman, Angela Bainbridge.”

“Determined.” She bracketed her hands on either side of his face. “Don’t take me back to Fortune, Lee. Please.”

“You must promise me that if I am ever captured, you will forget me.”

He did not pressure her for the promise that she was unwilling to give. Instead, he feathered kisses over her face, tasting her tears, tears wept for him. For once, he wished she could see, could look into his eyes and know the depth of the love he held for her. Because she could not, he would have to show her.

Tenderly, he eased her down to the bed…

“I
t sounds as though you’re packing,” Angela said, as she brought the sheet up to her throat. Outside, a rooster crowed.

Lee stilled and she wondered how long he’d been moving about the room before his actions disturbed her, how long he might have gazed at her exposed breasts. The heat suffused her body with the thought of all they’d shared last night.

She’d looked forward to waking in his arms this morning, and somehow she’d managed to lose her opportunity.

“I have to leave for a few days.”

She shoved herself into a sitting position. “Where are you going?”

He sighed before dropping onto the edge of the bed. He softly touched his lips to hers. Circling her arm around his neck, she deepened the kiss.
He groaned low in his throat, nudged the sheet aside, and cradled her breast.

She had become a wanton woman, willing to do anything to keep her man beside her. And he had become her man. If she couldn’t convince him to save himself, she would find a way to rescue him from the hangman’s noose.

He broke off the kiss. “I have to see someone.” He stroked his thumb over her lips. “I’ll miss you,
querida
.”

Fear etched itself into her heart as she grabbed his arm, digging her fingers into his muscles, fearful for what he was about to do and what it might cost them. “Lee, please don’t take any more of Shelby’s money.”

“I won’t—not today, at least—but I must dispose of the money I have.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

He bussed a quick kiss over her lips. “Don’t ask so many questions.”

“Damn it, Lee, trust me. You can’t truly love me if you don’t trust me.”

He touched his forehead to hers. She heard him swallow, felt the tension radiating from his body. Why did he find it so difficult to trust?

“I won’t betray you,” she whispered.

“I know that, it is just that some things are not mine alone to tell. But this I will tell you. In memory of Ramon, we give the money where it is most needed. Shelby hates Mexicans. So his money is used to better their lives, to build a school, a church, a home.”

“Why aren’t you using the money to bring Shelby to justice?”

“I have told you that it was his word against ours. We did not think anyone would listen to us. So we decided to take his money. He cannot build his empire; slowly it crumbles. Sometimes, I think too slowly, but a day will come when he will leave and we will return.”

“There has to be a better way to bring him to justice.”

He stood. She heard him pick up his saddlebags. “I’ll think on it.”

She whispered hoarsely, “
Vaya con dios
.”

“Always.”

Lee strode into the barn, where Alejandro had his horse waiting. “
Gracias
.”

“Which one should I saddle for the woman?” Alejandro asked.

Lee slung his saddlebags into place. “I’m not taking Angela.”

Alejandro narrowed his eyes. “Why not? It is the perfect opportunity. You deliver the money to Christine on the other side of the border, and then you simply go on to Fortune.”

Bending his head and shaking it, Lee scrutinized the scuff marks on his boots, the well-worn heels. He remembered the fancy dress Angela had been wearing the night he had bumped into her outside the bank. What had he been thinking that night? And what had he been thinking when he’d first laid his body over hers? Even if he
weren’t an outlaw, he had nothing of himself worthy enough for her. “There is nothing simple about this situation.”

“Only because you insist on making it difficult. The woman is going to get you hanged.”

“The
woman
has a name.” He lifted his head and held his brother’s gaze. “I love her, Alejandro.”

Alejandro looked as though he wanted to smash his fist into something hard. “Just like Ramon.”

“Nothing like Ramon, and you know it.”

Alejandro seemed to sag. “What are you going to do?”

“That I have not decided. She thinks Kit Montgomery and her father could help us find justice.”

“What they will do is get you hanged.”

Lee slapped his saddlebag and the horse sidestepped. “What is
this
accomplishing? When we were young, scared, and lost, our plan for revenge seemed very grand. But now we are older, not easily frightened. For the first time in my life, with Angela, I do not feel lost. I see things now that I did not before. What kind of a life is this for Miguel? He has no friends. He knows no children. And Juanita? She is afraid of her shadow. Seeking revenge has only managed to take away our freedom. Even this land we live on is not ours! If the Mexican government discovers us, they will shoo us away like pesky horseflies. They will probably take your cattle. We need to put our efforts toward getting your land back.”

“It is your land as well.”

“No, it’s not.” Lee watched the dust motes waltzing through the sunlight filtering into the barn. Running his hand over his shirt, he felt the tiny scars that had been with him for so long that he no longer noticed them, no longer questioned their origin. But Angela had him wondering about a great many things lately. “Do you remember anything about the night your father found me?”

Alejandro shook his head. “Very little. I remember the blood. I had never seen so much. They did not expect you to live, but you have always been stubborn.”

“From the beginning, they treated me as though I had been born to them. I often forget that I wasn’t.”

“They loved you. You were a good son,” Alejandro said.

“Not so good when I have brought their children to this.” He mounted. “If I do not return, give me your word that you’ll protect Angela and take her to her father.”

“Why would you not return?”

“The road I travel has many forks in it, Alejandro. Give me your word.”

“I will return her to her father.
Vaya con dios
.”

The bells tolled midnight as Lee quietly entered the sanctuary through the front door. He was always amazed at the peace that descended over him as he stood at the back. The simple church had a way of easing a troubled soul. It was a fine testament to the memory of his brother, a
gentle man who had never raised his voice in anger or lifted his hand to harm another.

Out of respect for his mother’s teachings, Lee crossed himself quickly before walking toward the altar where candles flickered. He knelt before the railing and bowed his head, but he no longer prayed. His soul was beyond redemption, and he wouldn’t insult God by asking for His help in seeking vengeance.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” the woman kneeling beside him whispered.

He had always thought Christine was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen—until Angela had stumbled into his life.

“I learned too late that the bank in Fortune was a trap,” she added, contempt for her father evident in every word.

“I assumed it would be—so far from home. So I was very cautious.” He’d anticipated everything except a lady walking at midnight. “Do you know who the men were that your father hired?”

She sighed wearily. “No, I only know that they lost your trail after some storm. Thank goodness.”

Lee breathed a sigh relief. The rain had served him well.

“Father was furious. He’s planning to increase the bounty he’s personally contributing for your capture. With that and the five hundred the state offers, it’s getting terribly dangerous.” Tears welled in her eyes. “No matter what we do, it doesn’t stop the pain, and it doesn’t ease the guilt.”

“You are not to blame for what happened that night.”

“I’ll stop blaming myself when you stop blaming yourself.”

A corner of his mouth quirked up. “Fair enough.”

Concern filled her blue eyes. “I heard that you abducted a lady.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I know you well enough to know you haven’t hurt her, but I can’t speak out in your defense without giving myself away.”

He could argue that he had hurt Angela, feared that he’d caused harm that could never be undone. “I do not need you to speak for me. She is well.”

She placed her hand gently over his where he gripped the railing. “I’m sure you have plans to return her, but let someone else do it.”

“I do not let others stand in my stead.” He relaxed his hand. He knew well how one night could forever alter a life. But every night with Angela seemed to change him. He grinned slightly. “How is your son?”

Her face blossomed into a smile, the warmth and love reflected in her eyes. “As handsome and kind as his father.”

He thought of Juanita, how frightened she’d been the first time that she’d felt the ripple of movement that was her child. It had scared the hell out of him, too, until he realized what was happening. They were young, struggling to un
derstand what no one had ever explained. He’d been frantic to comfort her, to uncover the answers.

In desperation, he’d turned to the one person who had nursed their wounds, suggested they leave. Like a thief, he’d sneaked into Christine’s room to steal knowledge, only to discover that she, too, was with child. She carried Ramon’s child.

She had been equally as frightened as Juanita but for different reasons. She was older—twenty-one—and not afraid of giving birth, but terrified that her father would take the child from her.

So she’d told her father that she was going to tend her ailing aunt who lived near Laredo. Then she’d come to stay with them. In the months that followed, while he’d dealt with two weeping, anxious women, they’d begun planning how she would raise this child without her family knowing and how she would honor the man she still loved.

He had brought his brother’s son and Christine’s brother’s son into the world. He had a responsibility for their future, and thus far, he had to admit he had handled it poorly. If it hadn’t been for Angela, he might never have never noticed.

“I’ve been thinking,” he began.

“A dangerous occupation for a man.”

His grin broadened. Five years ago, they had all been frightened and weak. Now they were stronger. “It is time we turned our energies elsewhere. You have a son who needs you. I must work to see that the Rodriguez land is reclaimed.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“I don’t know exactly, but Angela will help.”

She arched a brow. “You say her name softly. Don’t tell me that the notorious Lee Raven has had his heart stolen.”

“Captured,” he told her. “She captivated me from the moment I took her in my arms.” He passed the saddlebags over to her. “The money from the last robbery is yours alone. We have done enough good deeds. Take your son someplace where you can be with him always and build a life for him that will honor his father.”

“I wish you’d come see him.”

With regret, Lee shook his head. The child did not need to know his uncle, the outlaw. “It is best if I don’t, but I’ll send my love.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She hugged him closely as though she feared this meeting would be their last. “
Vaya con dios
,” he rasped, hoping that it wasn’t.

“Does it hurt Hector when the babies bite him like that?” Miguel asked.

Kneeling in the last stall with Miguel and Juanita, Angela waited for Juanita to answer the question.

“No, little one,” Juanita said softly. “It does not hurt Hector. They are not biting. They are suckling.”

“When will Hector leave his babies?”

“Hector will not leave her babies,” Juanita assured him.

“Why?”

“Because Hector is their mama.”

“But my mama left me.”

Angela’s chest ached with his conclusion. He was fascinated with the cat and she couldn’t help but feel that he was more interested in what it must be like to have a mother than in what it was to be a cat. They all assumed he would blithely accept that he had no mother, yet all around him on the ranch he would see female animals with their offspring, watch them caring for their newborns. How could he not help but wonder why his mother had not stayed?

“Miguel, your mama loved you,” Juanita stammered. “Very much.”

“Why did she leave?”

“It is as we told you. She had to go be an angel.”

“Oh.” He paused a heartbeat before asking, “
Señorita
, is it time for your birthday yet?” as though he’d completely forgotten the previous conversation.

Smiling warmly, Angela reached out and ruffled his hair. “Not yet.”

He released a big gust of air. “That is the way of it.”

Her heart turned over in her chest at Lee’s oft-repeated phrase. She pulled Miguel close and hugged him tightly. “I love you, Miguel.”

“Miguel!” Alejandro called from the entrance to the barn, his voice echoing within the cavernous structure. “It is time for chores.”

He squirmed out of her embrace and ran out of the barn.

“I have chores as well,” Juanita said.

Angela rested her hand on Juanita’s arm, stopping her from rising. “Juanita, I know that I’m new to this family and there is a lot that I don’t know, but I do know that you love Miguel.”

“He is the light of my life.”

She swallowed, not certain how to accomplish what she needed. She smiled softly. “Do you remember your mother?”

“
Sí
. She was kind. She always hugged us and made us laugh and wiped away our tears.”

“Can you imagine how hard it would be not to have a mother?”

“That would be a terrible thing.”

“Miguel doesn’t have a mother.”

“He has me.”

“But you’re his sister.”

“Oh,” she said in a tiny voice that reminded Angela very much of Miguel when an answer disappointed him. “It is not the same thing, is it?”

Tears burned Angela’s eyes as she slowly shook her head. “No.” She squeezed Juanita’s hand. “All little boys need a mother. I know how difficult it is when our world suddenly changes. Until I was twelve, I could see, and then I got very, very sick. When the sickness left, it took my sight with it. I was scared when I couldn’t see, but I was also ashamed.”

“You should not have been ashamed, Angela. It was not your fault.”

“No, it wasn’t my fault, but I was still embarrassed because I was different, I had changed. I wasn’t ready for that change. I didn’t want to be different. But I got tired of lying in bed, so one day
I climbed out and stubbed my toe on the leg of a chair. And it hurt. But the next day when I climbed out of bed, I remembered where the chair was.”