The Other Fish in the Sea (43 page)

I love my dad. Even though he admitted to me that he has doubts about Tristan and me being together forever, which is a really risky thing to do with an emotional almost sixteen-year-old girl, he still honestly believes anything is possible. And he’s right about the kind of person I should be with in the long run. I’m needy and whiney, and if I’m being honest, I’m kind of selfish too, and I’ll need someone who not only knows how, but is willing to balance those not-so pleasing character traits of mine to keep me happy but grounded at the same time. And it’ll have to be someone who I can do the same for.

“So what kind of guy do you think Jillian needs?” I asked, being kind of done forecasting my relationship with Tristan.
 

My dad is right about that too. Even if we don’t end up together, there’s no reason not to enjoy each other right now and if I start to obsess about the longevity of our relationship, well, that might make enjoying it difficult. Also, I’m pretty curious to hear my dad’s thoughts on what my sister’s future love will look like.

“Oh, well, her boy is gonna have to work for it and she won’t make it easy on him either. The boy for her will really have to know himself inside and out and have the courage to backup that self-confidence. He’ll have to be so sure of himself that even if she walks away from him, he won’t chase after her or grovel at her feet, which will earn her respect and trust so she can come back to him and feel safe. She’ll walk on most everyone like they’re linoleum and that won’t be good for her or make her happy, so he’ll have to be strong enough to stand up to her when it matters, but he won’t be overbearing. He’ll need to give her all the rope she wants, which she won’t ask him for anyway, and then he’ll have to be willin’ to stand back and watch her hang herself, because your sister will not tolerate being told how to do anything, she’s gotta experience it and learn it for herself,” my dad answered with a chuckle and little knowing smile on his lips.

Really, I think my dad has both me and Jillian totally pegged and right now, he pities the guys who’ll take us on because they love us. I wonder if that’s why he’s so willing to stand back and let my relationship with Tristan just unfold without any interference from him or my mom. The other thing is that he knows my sister and I have a small issue with pedestals. Mine being that I want to be on one, and Jill’s being that she’s already on one and guards it with a very big stick. So in knowing that, he also knows that if I find someone who’ll pull me up to be with him on his, and if she finds someone with enough guts to climb up to hers, then we’ll be lucky and our dad really does want to see us happy with the right people, and the only way we’ll be able to do any of that is through trial and error.

My dad and I talked a little more about inconsequential stuff like school and then I drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t a very restful sleep though, with the blood pressure cuff tightening around my arm every hour or so, but when I woke up it was starting to get dark and my friends were just walking through the door. My boyfriend was with them.

My yawn was cut short when I smiled at the sight of them, or more specifically, Tristan, and before anyone asked how I was, my dad stood up and declared he was gonna go home for a bit to grab some dinner and then he’d be back to pick me up. He affectionately said goodbye to his five somewhat adopted kids, and meeting Tristan’s eyes for a brief but searching moment, my dad then turned and with a wink for me, he left. But while my dad was saying his goodbyes, I took a quick minute myself to study three of my friends. Kate had a smile plastered on her face but was looking kind of nervous, and in Jeff’s eyes I could detect a phantom of the pain he’d experienced the last time he was here. Tristan’s appearance however, very much resembled someone who was completely at ease and not even remotely distressed. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but when my dad looked into Tristan’s eyes and then winked at me; I knew he’d seen something that confirmed what he’d told me earlier. Then Tristan kissed me on the top of my head and so catching a good whiff of chlorine, I knew right away that he’d been swimming some of his big and scary emotions away.

With my dad gone my friends and I speculated and placed bets on what was the cause of my heinous allergic reaction that almost resulted in my death. Yeah, I know. It’s kind of morbid, but whatever, it’s just what we do. Kate was rooting for the wasp sting, Jeff was wondering if I’d developed an allergy to peanuts as the big cookie was a peanut butter one, and Melissa was kind of thinking the same thing because she has a cousin who developed a nut allergy when he was in his late twenties. He didn’t know until the exact same thing happened to him except he was eating a PB&J sandwich, something he’d been eating his entire life. Personally, I’m more than willing to blame the stupid bananas, but we won’t know exactly what it is that I’m all of a sudden allergic to until I see an allergist. And even then, it could’ve been a fluke. Honestly, I’m just glad the cause won’t be discovered by an autopsy being performed on my body, you know what I mean?
 

Now I think I should mention that when that whole conversation started, Tristan tuned it out and focused on whatever sporting event was on TV, being uncharacteristically quiet and kind of aloof. He was sitting next to me but after that little kiss on my head, he didn’t touch me, and I don’t think he opened his mouth once aside from exchanging some kind of mumbled opinion or critique of a play that’d been made. He wasn’t alone though; Pete was being just as non-verbal with him, again only commenting on the game. From an outsider’s perspective I’m sure it looked rather innocuous, as if there were just several conversations going on and it’s like that all the time, and very often that
is
how we interact when we’re all together but, I don’t know. I just got the feeling the two of them were purposefully not joining in the “what almost killed Camie” debate. Almost like Pete was silently supporting Tristan who might’ve been more freaked than even my dad had guessed. But if this is Tristan dealing with those big emotions, I think he needs more practice because he’s stressing me out. He seems to be behaving so much like he did when I thought he was gonna break-up with me and that was really hard on my nerves. I’m just sayin’, I really don’t know how much a girl can take all in one day, you know?
 

I mean come on, I was stung by a wasp and it hurt a buttload, I had to eat lousy bananas, I didn’t even get to taste my cookie, then I puked in front of I don’t even know how many kids at school, I was rushed to the hospital because I was dying, and I had a pair of my favorite jeans cut off of me so I could be given a lifesaving shot of adrenaline. Yeah, I found out they used these huge medical scissors to remove my jeans and now they’re destroyed. And then to top it off, it feels like my boyfriend, with whom I’m head over heels in love with, is contemplating breaking up with me after being the one who got me the lifesaving medical attention I needed. So yeah, I’ve had quite enough for one day.

We moved onto a new subject and with this one, both Tristan and Pete participated. That was probably due to the fact that it kind of revolved around Pete and by default, Tristan as well. However, it was obvious to me they were much more inclined to talk about that than the events of lunch.

“So, you’re good to go?” Jeff asked Pete with some excitement mixed with mild anxiety as he flashed a look at Tristan.

“Yep. My boyfriend and I are gonna have at it this weekend and see how it goes,” Pete answered with a rare smug grin.

“So what are you gonna look for? I mean, how will you know everything’s okay?” Melissa asked sorta shyly. I think she’s remembering the tension when we were camping, I know I certainly am, but she wants to know all the same. I’m glad she asked though because, again, I wanna know too.

“Well, for now we’re hopin’ for no pain…I’ll go from there. If I do have pain and can’t hide it from hot stuff here, then I’ll have to take a step back, but, he’s gonna be busy scrambling around the backstop, so we’ll see,” he answered, again, with atypical arrogance.

Then when Tristan threw in his comment, I got it. Pete’s playing with him.

“Bring it, you assmonkey. You’re not puttin’ anything by me and your cocky attitude only makes me want you more,” Tristan said to Pete with his own innate cockiness and a wink.

“Oh I’m bringin’ it…you’re gonna spend so much time on your ass this weekend, you’ll be carrying one of those inflatable donuts around for weeks to sit on.”

“Ahh, now that’s my kind of pillow talk…you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

We all laughed at them as their ribald jesting and banter continued and it finally seemed like all of Kate’s nervousness, Jeff’s ghostly grief and Tristan’s detachment evaporated, and with all that gone, our group was back to being able to truly relax and enjoy each other.

Thank God.

By the time my dad came back to get me, everyone aside from Tristan and Pete had left to go home and the three of us were playing cards. Pete had remembered to bring the deck of cards Jilly had given him for Christmas, and I knew it was from her because she got everyone a themed deck. Pete’s was optical illusions. Tristan was behaving much more like himself too. In fact, he’d climbed up to lay next to me on the bed for a while but when we started to play Gin Rummy, I had to kick him out of bed. I don’t know why he was doing it, because he totally doesn’t need to but, he kept cheating.
 

Anyway, my dad arrived, Tristan and Pete left, and about a half-hour or so later with instructions to get some good rest (Which means no school for me tomorrow! Yahoo!) and to make an appointment with an allergist as soon as possible, I finally got to go home. Oh, I was also given two EpiPens that I am to keep with me at all times. EpiPens, if you are unfamiliar with what they are, are portable epinephrine devices. So if I start to have another reaction like I did today, all I would do is inject myself in the thigh and that would buy me at least twenty minutes to get to the hospital where I’m guessing I’d go through exactly what I did today without the panic and being so close to dying parts. Personally, I’m hoping to leave out the public display of food ejection as well, but, you know, I’ll take what I can get.
 

Oh yeah, in case you’ve forgotten, tomorrow is Friday and do you know what happens
after
Friday? Do ya, do ya?! Yippee, hooray! My fox moves into my hen house for a week! I’m so damned happy I didn’t die today because I’ve
really
been looking forward to this and I think I would’ve been pretty uber-pissed off if I’d died beforehand. At the very least I know I’d be really disappointed.
 

23.

Consulting An Oracle

So you’d think after having experienced a two-week house arrest after being involved in a car accident that I walked away from with minor injuries, that my dad would’ve asked to borrow Jillian’s handcuffs to keep me locked up safe and sound in the house after I literally almost died on Thursday, right? Yeah, well, he didn’t. I know! I wasn’t shocked in the least to hear that he wanted me to stay home from school to get some rest, but here’s where my surprise did come in; he had absolutely no qualms at all about letting Tristan take me out for date night. I’m really thinking Tristan’s rank in my dad’s eyes skyrocketed with Tristan’s demonstration of his more than adept ability of being able to take care of me both of those not-so fun to remember episodes in my very recent past. I honestly doubt that I would’ve even made it onto the front porch had it been anyone else aside from
Je
sus who was attempting to take me to the movies.

So Tristan and I saw a movie without being joined by anyone and then we pretty much called it a night after that. I had mixed feelings about it though. On the one hand, I really didn’t wanna go home without giving him a un-properly, unchaperoned thank you, you know? We really haven’t spent any alone time together aside from driving to and from school in a week now, and well…I kinda like the base we’re on, if you know what I mean. But then again on the other hand, I understand Tristan’s reasoning for making it an early night. Let me be clear here, I understand but that does
not
mean I like it.

See, here’s the thing…I’m now gonna have to learn how to actually share the guy I’m hoping is one seriously devoted individual who will put me first. Sounds tricky, doesn’t it? Yeah, speaking as a needy and sorta selfish realist, I think so too. With Pete being able to begin training and Tristan being not only his catcher, but one of his best friends, well, from what I understand, Tristan is going to be spending more time with Pete than he normally does. Neither of them knows exactly how much time that’s going to be either because they haven’t done this before. Typically they just practice with the rest of the team because once they’re in the groove and re-synched, it’s effortless, but since Pete had the surgery, neither of them knows what to expect. That’s also why they’re starting so early.
 

Now this doesn’t mean Pete can’t work his arm and train without Tristan, because he totally can and he will, but being that they’re synched like they are, the coaches and physical therapists are all figuring having Tristan catch will give Pete and everyone else a better idea of how his arm really is. But again from what Tristan told me, if Pete does have pain he’s gonna do his damnedest to keep it from everyone. Yeah, he’s
that
stubborn. He’d rather play baseball in excruciating pain than not at all.
 

That’s something else I learned. Tristan was the one who forced (yes, literally
forced
) Pete off the pitcher’s mound last year. Tristan knew the second Pete’s elbow went and Pete tried shutting Tristan out to keep him from knowing because he wanted to finish not just that game, but being that it was the second to last game in the championship series, Pete wanted to play the next one as well. And because it was the end of school ball, if Pete thought he could get away with it, he’d have probably played through the season of summer ball he and Tristan play together as well. The problem for Pete, however, was that he and Tristan had already been playing together for months and that funky connection between them that lies almost, but not quite dormant in the fall and winter was irrevocably locked in place by then.