The Orphans (Orphans Trilogy Book 1) (18 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY

Deep in the
woods, Charlie wandered aimlessly. He had wanted to head back long before, but decided it wasn’t a good idea. He knew that if he showed up too early for lunch, the others would likely figure out that he’d given up. Even though he wasn’t sure what he was going to do next or what his options even were, he didn’t want his quitting to be known and reasoned that it was best to keep up appearances, no matter how minor they were.

After a few more hours, Charlie determined that enough time had passed and began his trek back to the church and the other orphans. He was almost to the edge of the clearing when he heard Naomi yell, “Behind you!”

Charlie froze. He hadn’t heard that kind of urgency in her voice since they had escaped from his house. He didn’t know what to make of it. He quickly gathered his wits and took cover behind a tree. “Nice save,” he heard Eddie shout back.

“Switch!” Antony ordered.

Charlie waited a moment before mustering the courage to crawl out from the safety of the tree. He stealthily crept toward the voices, staying as low and quiet as he could until he reached his old hiding spot.

When Charlie finally caught sight of the action, he couldn’t believe what he saw. His eyes fluttered, as if they were trying to erase what he was witnessing: All of the other orphans were engaged in a fierce battle with a group of five Beasts.

Charlie didn’t recognize any of the Beasts—not only were Cain and Max not with them, neither were the three Beasts that had been at his house—but it was obvious what they were. They were all sporting the same black suits and matching sunglasses as Terry’s men. Charlie knew that it could only mean one thing: that in his absence, they had been discovered.

Charlie ducked down behind his hiding spot. His hands gripped his legs so tightly that his nails dug into his skin even through his jeans. His heart raced. His breath joined it, trying to keep up. A mad dash to a frightful finish line. He struggled to conceal every inch of his body. This wasn’t like the times before, when he simply hoped that he wouldn’t be seen. Now he couldn’t be seen. His life depended on it.

But what about his friends? What about their lives? Charlie wanted to help them, but his fear and doubt wouldn’t let him. He knew that he wouldn’t stand a chance. He couldn’t fight. All he could possibly do was absorb a couple blows. That wouldn’t do any of them any good, especially him.

“Suck on that,” Charlie heard JP yell, followed by a strange sound that resembled a sheet of flash paper going up in flames, except for the fact that it was much louder, like a whole stack of flash paper had been lit at once. Charlie’s own curiosity, combined with the confidence in JP’s voice, gave him the little bit of courage that he needed to lift his head and check back in on the other orphans.

Much to Charlie’s surprise and excitement, the fight was down to four on four, an even match-up. The sound he heard had been the end of one of the Beasts. Charlie felt some of the weight in his chest lifting. What also eased his anxiety was the realization that besides the better odds, all of the orphans seemed to have things perfectly under control.

Charlie stared in absolute amazement as each of the orphans battled back and forth with their own Beast. He couldn’t believe how fast the other orphans were maneuvering and how high they were leaping to avoid the strikes from the Beasts. It was like their legs had been replaced by pogo sticks. And they all had an acrobatic grace to their movement, even Eddie, who never gave off the impression of possessing any athletic qualities. Charlie had never seen anything so fluid, and at the same time so lethal, in real life. It was something he had only seen in movies.

Charlie watched as Antony leapt high into the air and drove his staff into his foe’s forehead. The skin around the puncture in the Beast’s brow began to crack. Bright, burning molten lava filled the fractures, which continued to spread and break off, creating new fault lines. The Beast went up in a spontaneous volcanic burst, followed by the sound Charlie had heard before. All that remained was a small pile of carbon ash that was quickly taken away by the wind.

“Whoa,” Charlie said under his breath.

Just beyond Antony, Charlie saw JP make quick work of his Beast, then turn his attention to Naomi. He rushed to her side. “You need any help?”

“Don’t worry about me. I got this,” Naomi said with a confident grin.

Even with all of the fear, excitement, and other emotions fighting for attention in Charlie’s body as he watched JP and Naomi’s interaction, he found some room for jealousy.

Four on two became four on one when Naomi used a deke to dispatch her opponent. The orphans took measured steps as they moved to surround the Beast that Eddie had been tussling with.

“You need backup?” Antony said.

“Nah, but I wouldn’t mind a lift,” Eddie said, and then made a gesture with his eyes that let Antony know exactly what he was thinking.

“Good idea.”

Antony clasped his hands in a cup by his waist. Eddie sprinted toward Antony and leapt, landing his foot in Antony’s joined hands. Antony heaved Eddie at the same time as Eddie sprung upwards.

Eddie twisted his body one hundred eighty degrees and laid out in a near perfect reverse swan dive as he floated above the outstretched arms of the Beast. He kicked his legs over his head so that he was facing the ground, and drove his staff into the center of the Beast’s brow.

By the time Eddie crashed to the earth, all that remained of the Beast was the pile of ash. Eddie tumbled for about ten feet before coming to a stop. He got up and threw his arms in the air like an Olympic gymnast finishing their routine.

“I’ll give you a seven for degree of difficulty,” JP said. “Would’ve been an eight if you stuck the landing.”

“You must be the Russian judge,” Eddie said.

Charlie couldn’t believe that they had just defeated the five Beasts. He wanted to congratulate his friends. He stood up, ready to rush to their sides and get in on high-fives, but stopped. He knew his timely presence would only raise questions. Like how had he seen the whole fight? And why had he stayed in the woods? Charlie knew it would be better to just wait for a moment. And so, he watched as Malika rejoined the group from out of Charlie’s view.

“Very good,” Malika said. “I think you are ready for the next challenge: two vessels at a time.”

Challenge? Vessels? Charlie quickly put it all together, realizing that what he had just witnessed was not an actual battle, but merely sparring. Regardless, Charlie was no less impressed. He was, however, incredibly relieved to learn that they hadn’t actually been discovered.

“I think we’re ready for more than that,” JP said, “I think we’re ready to take on the real thing. No more of these vessels, we need to start kicking real Beast butt.”

“The sparring vessels are no different than the Beasts,” Malika said.

“Yeah. Except for the fact that we aren’t saving any of our parents’ souls when we destroy them. I know we’re all ready to take on the Beasts.” JP stopped, corrected himself, “Well, at least all of us except for Charlie are.”

Upon hearing this, Charlie slinked back behind his little hiding spot. He had an uneasy feeling about the direction that the conversation appeared to be heading.

“We’re a team,” Antony said. “If one of us isn’t ready, then none of us are ready.”

“I know we’re a team,” JP said. “But every team has a weak link. That’s just how it is. The Ninja Turtles had Raphael, the Power Rangers had the Yellow Ranger, and we have Charlie.”

“Hey,” Eddie said, “I liked Raphael and the Yellow Ranger. She had some great moves.”

“And I like Charlie,” JP said. “But that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?” Antony said. “You brought it up.”

“I don’t know. I guess all I’m saying is that maybe we need to accept the fact that Charlie might never be ready. He might never pass the first step. Maybe the only thing he’ll ever do is keep holding us back.”

“If it wasn’t for Charlie, none of us would be here.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” JP said. “Of course, I have a different way of looking at it. The way I see it, it’s his fault we can’t go back to our old lives. It’s his fault those Beasts want to kill us. And now it’s his fault that we’ll probably be stuck out in the woods forever, when we should be out there actually doing something.”

What Charlie had feared since they fled from his home had finally come true. The blame had found its way back to him. Charlie was certain the others had to have at least considered what JP had said. He knew that JP wasn’t misguided in holding him responsible. He waited for the others to join in and pile on, but they never got the chance.

“Enough,” Malika said, finally chiming in after purposely letting them go. “Do not worry about Charlie. Worry about yourselves. Your attention to others and perception of being stuck are proof that you are still susceptible to distractions and letting your emotions take over, and that you must work harder to remain present. Now take a deep breath, acknowledge that your emotions are there, and let them both go.”

The orphans followed Malika’s instructions.

“All I wanna know is if we could take out the Beasts?” JP asked Malika after he finished letting go of his emotions.

“Yes,” Malika said with a nod. “There is no denying that you could hold your own with a Beast or two. That is true for all of you, but there is still much room for each of you to grow. For starters, you all must learn to not focus your entire efforts on the third eye center. While piercing it may be the only way to vanquish a Beast, the more attention you give it, the more they will defend it. You must learn to respond to their movements and use your senses at the same time, a skill that can only be acquired through practice.”

“Fine,” JP said. “Then we might as well get back to practicing. Hook me up with a couple vessels to tango with.”

Malika scooped up two fistfuls of loose soil from the ground. She blew the dirt from her palms. It swirled in the air, creating a miniature tornado that then split into two, each of which left behind a hulking, sparring vessel as any remnants were swept away with the wind.

Charlie stayed slumped behind his little hiding spot while each of the orphans took turns going toe-to-toe with two sparring vessels. He didn’t watch any of their victories or listen to their cheers. He kept his thoughts and attention inside, replaying JP’s words while contemplating his new plan.

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Charlie waited an extra twenty minutes after the training session had ended before he pulled himself off the ground, brushed off all of the dirt and leaves his clothes had picked up, and joined the group for lunch.

Charlie didn’t speak a word the whole meal. He just kept to himself, nodding yes or no when asked any questions, which was only a of couple times, and then headed back into the woods.

Charlie didn’t speak after he came back from his afternoon trek or during their dinner, either. He simply finished his meal and went straight to bed, only he didn’t fall asleep. That was never his intention. He merely wanted to appear to be asleep. He kept his eyes shut tight as one by one, the other orphans called it a night.

After everyone else had fallen asleep, Charlie discreetly slid out of his bed, and then quietly gathered the few things that he had with him. He didn’t bother writing a goodbye letter. All he left behind was the flash drive, which he slipped inside Antony’s shoe.

Charlie looked at the sleeping orphans one last time. It wasn’t how he had wanted it to end, but it was better for him, and it was definitely better for them. He wouldn’t hold them back anymore. He said goodbye in his mind, and then tiptoed out of the church and into the night.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Charlie walked close
to a mile down the gravel road that led away from the church before he came to a fork. One direction went right, the other went left, and both were the same combination of dirt and rock. “Great,” he said to himself, unsure of which road to choose or where either path led.

Charlie turned his head toward the night sky. He knew if he could locate the North Star, he could use that to determine if either of the roads pointed west, or some western variation. That was the direction he was headed. Unfortunately, the sky was so clear and full of stars that they all looked the same. He couldn’t make out Orion’s belt or either of the dippers in the overcrowded celestial light show.

Charlie was debating his options when he felt a soft breeze on the back of his neck and heard a gentle rustling of gravel. He whipped around to find Malika. She had just touched down and was in the process of retracting her wings. Charlie shook his head and sighed. “I probably should’ve assumed my guardian angel would be watching me.”

“Yes, probably,” Malika said.

“So, are you gonna make me go back?

“I cannot make you do anything.”

“Right,” Charlie said, not completely believing her. He started toward the road on the left. Malika made no effort to prevent him from continuing. Charlie stopped himself. “You really aren’t gonna make me go back?”

“There is no point,” Malika said. “If you do not want to be there, what good would forcing you to stay do?”

“It’s not that I want to leave,” Charlie said, trying to defend his actions. “I have to. I haven’t been able to even get past the first step in the training. I haven’t been able to find happiness in anything, either. I’ve only gotten worse and lost any confidence that I thought I had. Besides, I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m just holding everyone back.”

Malika realized part of the motivation behind Charlie’s exit. “You were watching today, were you not?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Charlie said as he nodded. “And JP was right. Not just about me holding them back, but that it’s my fault they’re all here. I got everyone in this mess.”

“There is no one person at fault. You made choices that led to your current situation, and they made choices as well. But the only person who can really hold them back is themselves, not you. You do not have that power.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I don’t have any power.”

“That is very far from the truth. But if that is what you believe, then that is what it is.”

“Like I said, I’ve only gotten less confident.” He looked down at his shoes and gave the gravel a couple kicks.

“Where will you go?” Malika asked.

“Home.”

“You know that they will come for you, right?”

“That’s what I’m banking on. I’m just hoping I can figure out a way to take Cain out before they get me. At least that’s my plan.”

“And if your plan does not work?”

“Well, assuming I don’t die, I guess I’ll come up with a new plan.”

“Have you ever considered that instead of coming up with new plans, maybe it is time for you to move on from plans altogether?”

“What are you talking about?” Charlie said, surprised. His reaction made it very clear that he had never contemplated the option, not even for a second.

“I am talking about the true reason for your struggles,” Malika said. “They have not come because you do not have any power or are less capable than the others. Your struggles persist because you are unique. They persist because you actually have two blocks that prevent your divine self from shining through. It is a testament to the strength of your mind, which, if harnessed properly, is capable of anything you can envision.”

“I don’t understand,” Charlie said, confused. “Why didn’t you tell me I had two blocks earlier?”

“You were not ready to hear it,” Malika said. “Even the most powerful message can be rendered meaningless if it falls on deaf ears. Because of your uniqueness, you needed to reach your very bottom before you could begin your ascent.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure I hit it today. My ears are as open as they’ll ever be. I’ll do anything.”

“All you must do is let go of all of your plans. They have done nothing but give you a false sense of direction and cause many more problems.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Charlie said. “Everyone that’s ever been successful has had a plan.”

Malika smirked. “I can see that your own plans have continued to force you to look at success through an improper lens. When you define success as happiness, as I encouraged you to do, those with rigid plans are rarely successful. The more detailed the plan, the more this is true. A plan is nothing more than an attempt to control something that is uncontrollable. The truth is that the more you try to control your plan, the more it controls you. Let me ask you this, how many times have you compromised your integrity, your divine self, to preserve your plan?”

Charlie thought about the numerous times that he had done things he wasn’t proud of to maintain his plan. While he had lost the guilt from the deceptions that he had pulled on his parents, he hadn’t forgotten the lies that he had told others. The recent incident where he had attempted to sway his teacher by using his parents’ deaths jumped to the top of his mind. “A lot,” Charlie said, his voice full of regret.

“Your plans have also prevented you from finding happiness in each moment and closed you off to opportunities that fall outside of your predetermined path,” Malika said. “You must let go of your second block, your desire to control everything and achieve perfection. You must accept that you cannot control the universe, that the past has already happened, that the future is no guarantee, and that the only thing you can truly control is what you do in the present.”

Malika gave Charlie time to let her words resonate. The last three points cycled through his mind. The past already happened. The future is not a guarantee. The only thing you can truly control is what you do in the present.

Charlie’s thoughts returned to his Language Arts class. But it wasn’t his talk with his teacher that flooded his mind, it was his unwritten assignment, the one that he had struggled with and never cracked. “Now,” he said, finally realizing the answer. “That’s the most important moment in my life.”

“Yes, it is,” Malika said. “It always has been, whether you realized it or not.”

“If I’m not supposed to have a plan, what am I supposed to do, nothing?”

“Not at all,” Malika said. “Do whatever the moment calls for. Allow your divine self to guide the way, knowing that it will lead you in the right direction. It will always follow the proper path.”

Charlie nodded, accepting Malika’s instruction.

“Have you ever heard the Serenity Prayer?” Malika asked.

“I don’t think so,” Charlie said.

“It is a great reminder to only focus on that which you can control, or change. It goes: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

“I really like that.”

“As do I,” Malika said. “However, I have found that it can be even more impactful in reverse. Instead of serenity, courage, and wisdom, it is optimal to consider wisdom and courage as a means to serenity. If you use your wisdom to determine whether you are dealing with something that you can or cannot change, the knowledge gained will grant you acceptance of the situation. If it is not something you can change, there is nothing to do but let it go. It is out of your control. If it is something that you can change, you will find the courage to execute the appropriate action by focusing only on controlling the moment. Knowing that you are doing something, and that you are following your divine self, will supply you with all the serenity you could ever need to find peace and happiness.”

“Wisdom. Courage. Serenity,” Charlie said to himself.

“Use those three words as your serenity mantra. If you ever find yourself in a rut you cannot escape, simply identify the source of your troubles, repeat the mantra while determining where your issue lies, and then respond accordingly.”

Charlie repeated the serenity mantra. Unlike the times before, when he had simply told himself to find happiness, the words left an imprint on him. Even after saying it just a couple times, he could feel the weight of his burdens lifted. He finally experienced the rush of positive feelings that others had received the day they surrounded the campfire and revealed their biggest blocks.

Malika noticed the difference in Charlie’s eyes. No longer wide and lost, they had narrowed. There was a determination behind them. However, Malika could still sense a slight lingering doubt. “Is there something that still constrains you?”

“It doesn’t have to do with me, really,” Charlie said. “Well, it kind of does. I know I won’t have a problem taking care of Cain and saving my parents. But when it comes to Terry, I don’t know if I could actually go through with it.”

“Do not be concerned about that. It will resolve itself,” Malika said, and then explained something to Charlie that helped assuage his doubts and put them to rest.

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Charlie sneaked back inside the church. He carefully retrieved his
usb
drive from Antony’s shoe, slid it in his pocket, and then climbed into his bed. As he stared at the stained-glass mural, he was no longer filled with the fear and doubt that had plagued him before. His negative feelings had been replaced by an excitement that rushed through his veins. He felt like a kid on Christmas Eve, full of joy and anticipation for what the next morning held.

Charlie reminded himself to stay focused on what was, not what was next. He knew that at that moment, the thing he needed most was rest. He would have plenty of time to do everything that he wanted to do tomorrow. Charlie said his serenity mantra a few times. It helped clear his mind and ease his anticipation. Shortly afterwards, he was able to fall asleep.

Charlie woke up before the sun and the other orphans. While he hadn’t slept terribly long, it had been a deep sleep, and he felt completely rejuvenated. Charlie sneaked out of the church for a second time, and then ventured through the sparse dawn light until he arrived at his spot in the forest.

Charlie noticed his knuckle prints were still in the dirt. He wiped them over, erasing any memory of his frustration from the day before with the prints. There was no point holding on to the negative reminder of a past he couldn’t change.

Charlie used two sticks and one of his shoelaces to make a bow drill, something he had seen Antony do. With his contraption, Charlie was able to create a spark and ignite a little tuft of dead grass that he had balled up tightly for kindling. Once he had a small tepee fire going, Charlie took his Moleskine notebook from his pocket, removed his picture with his parents, and then tossed the notebook into the flames. He watched the pages—and all of his old plans—turn to ash. After the fire had died down enough, Charlie stomped out the remaining embers, and then hopped into his seat on the tree trunk.

Charlie considered all of the issues that had weighed on him before: his parents, Terry, the impending attack on Heaven, and even Naomi. He repeated the words from the serenity mantra and was able to find peace in all of his problems by accepting what he could and couldn’t control, and reminding himself that he was working toward changing the things that he could. It gave him the peace of mind that he needed so that he could finally find happiness in his life.

With his fear of failure behind him and no attachment to any plan, the floodgates opened, and Charlie was able to liberate himself from every negative opinion that he had ever held. On a superficial level, Charlie appeared to be no different. Same hair. Same eyes. Same height. But on the inside, he was a completely new person.

Charlie smiled as he stared out into the seemingly endless wilderness; the positive energy that had been restrained by negativity was now flowing free. He felt a connection to the world, which he was finally able to see for what it truly was and appreciate all the beauty before him. He took it all in. The sun that had just begun to peak over the mountains and was casting a bright orange hue on the valley before him. The trees that had taken many human lifetimes to grow to their heights and were like nature’s skyscrapers. The birds that flocked in complex coordination and softly cawed to one another as they flew from perch to perch. The clouds that hung in the sky like large, fluffy pillows as they floated across the fresh mountain air that filled Charlie’s lungs and gave him life.

Charlie felt compelled to capture its beauty in some way, shape, or form so that he could share it with others. So that they could experience all that he had, and share in his appreciation and gratitude. But while he had a strong desire to express himself, his internal desire to continue building on his achievement was even stronger. He had only succeeded in step one. He had much further to go.

Charlie closed his eyes, centered his thoughts, and began to count his breaths. One, two, three, four, five. He kept going, making it to one thousand breaths before consciously breaking his attention.

He spent the next couple hours after that increasing his body awareness and spending time focusing on all of his senses. In just that short time, he noticed his own reflexes speeding up.

Around noon, his stomach let him know that it was approaching lunchtime. Charlie set off into the woods, on a walking mediation and in search of nourishment to appease his demanding stomach. He knew that he would find what he was looking for; he would provide for himself. But what Charlie didn’t know, was that the wild animals he was in search of were not the only things roaming the nearby mountains.