The Orphan (25 page)

Sheila knew this had not been sent intentionally. It had not come from the parents. It was the blip of a beacon at sea, a warning light produced by her own keen senses. Immediately she turned back toward the road and broke into a run. To wake Mother and Father. If they hadn’t recuperated enough to take him tonight, she would find him on her own.

Sheila could almost taste his spit.

On the way home from Cherry Creek, Beth and the kids stopped at Safeway to pick something for dinner. The wagon’s cargo bay was loaded with shopping bags containing the goods Beth had allowed Raya to splurge on: summer clothes, sandals, two new swimsuits, a watch, hair product. Beth had bought herself a summer dress and a new pair of Dansko clogs. At the Sunglass Hut, Raya somehow had managed to make Beth feel bad for Chad and she bought him a new pair of Ray-Bans. She knew the shopping was a distraction, one she needed as much as the children, probably more so, but she regretted it. She was guilty of avoidance. Hadn’t stopped worrying about Darren. Now she only wanted to find something to throw on the grill, then get home to make sure he was okay.

Entering the store, she tried his cell again, for the third time today. Chad looked wrung out from being dragged from one store to another by his girlfriend, and he and Raya split off to buy a round of frozen Frappuccinos at the built-in Starbucks.

‘You want something, Mom?’

‘A bottle of water,’ Beth said, automatically reaching for her wallet.

‘My treat,’ Raya said. ‘We’ll find you.’

Beth took a cart from the bay and wandered into the produce section as Darren’s phone rang. And rang. And rang. Where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he picking up? It wasn’t like him to avoid her calls. Even when he did not answer right away, he usually called her back within half an hour.

Something was wrong. Well, yes. She had found her husband on the shop’s floor this morning, shuddering in a pair of pee-stained pants. No kidding something was wrong. But something else had happened while they had been out shopping. Something worse. She could feel it. She didn’t bother leaving another voicemail.

Well, they were only ten minutes from home. Somebody had to make dinner.

Beth hurried, picking out a head of lettuce, fresh garlic, tomatoes, a bottle of balsamic, then moved on to the bread aisle. She would make sweet sausage and white bean salad, something easy. They would sit down like a family tonight, at the table on the back patio, and after Raya and Chad went off to do whatever they had planned, something about an end-of-school party, she would have another talk with Darren, without the rancor. She would keep a close eye on him tonight, especially after bedtime.

In the meat department, she found the sweet sausage and threw two packs into the basket. Ten sausages, too much food, but then again if Chad was staying, the kid would probably eat three himself. What else did she need?

‘Bethany?’ a woman said.

Beth turned in a circle, disoriented, unable to detect the source. The store was always crowded, especially at dinnertime.

‘Here, honey, right behind you.’ A gentle tugging at her blouse.

Beth spun once more and found Rachel Needham standing within kissing distance. ‘Oh God, I didn’t even see you there. Rachel, how are you?’

Rachel was a tiny little woman with dynamite in her blood, and she was a hugger. If she had gone to school with you or knew you even peripherally from work, friends of friends, or any other source, she gave you a hug and acted as though you were long-lost sisters in the cause. Beth fell somewhere in the middle, being an old friend but not a close one, and only through a string of school connections that went from the University of Colorado to Chicago and back to Boulder. Beth returned the hug and put on a smile.

‘Hey, girl, so good to see you,’ Rachel said. ‘You were supposed to call me. When are we going to get that lunch?’

They had run into each other at a Christmas party six months ago and vowed to meet soon. ‘I know, I’m sorry,’ Beth said. ‘Spring was a blur. We’ve been so focused on school you’d think we’re the ones in tenth grade.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Rachel said. ‘Caleb just finished sixth and now we get to spend the summer playing chauffeur. How’s Raya doing?’

Beth reminded herself not to brag, failed anyway. ‘Perfect grades again, yay. Volunteered for SAT prep courses. Testing the water with a boy, one who’s going to be a senior next year. We’ve been lucky so far.’

Rachel dipped her handcart in a curtsy. ‘Woo-woo. Good for her. How’s work? I saw the piece in the
Camera
a few weeks ago. How did that go over?’

‘Great. We met our target for the campaign and I finally convinced Darren to let go of some of his bikes.’

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. Work has been just – I should be in a neck brace.’

‘I want to hear about it. Let’s get that drink. Or lunch.’

‘Lunch drinks. Yes,’ Rachel said, smiling broadly.

‘I’ll call you, promise.’

Rachel did not appear ready to say goodbye. She lingered, her smile shrinking as she glanced around the store. ‘Is it just you?’

‘Hm?’

‘In the store? Now? Is Darren with you?’

‘Raya and her little friend are getting coffee up front. What’s up?’ Beth tensed, bracing herself for a confession, gossip, something she did not want to hear right now.

‘How is Darren, by the way?’ Rachel said.

‘Good, same as always,’ Beth lied. Why was Rachel asking this with an expression of pity on her face?

‘Yeah? That’s good. I was just, it’s probably nothing, but if you ever want to talk.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Beth said. ‘Is something wrong? I feel like I missed something.’

‘Maybe it’s none of my business,’ Rachel said, switching her handcart to her other hip as shoppers swerved around them.

‘Okay, now I have to know. What? Tell me what’s wrong.’

Rachel moved a little closer, lowering her voice. ‘I don’t know, exactly. I debated even mentioning it, but I was going to call you the other day. When I saw him.’

‘Saw Darren?’

‘Yeah.’

Oh, boy. This is something, Beth realized. Another thing. ‘Okay. Where was this?’

‘Here,’ Rachel nodded. ‘In the store.’

‘And?’

Just then, Raya and Chad approached from the frozen foods aisle to join them. Raya had a frozen coffee the size of a building in one hand, Beth’s bottle of water in the other. Chad was sipping from a small cup with a tea string dangling over the lip.

Rachel saw them, cleared her throat. ‘You know what? Let’s catch up later.’

Beth turned to her in a daze. ‘You can tell me,’ she said. ‘Right?’

Rachel’s eyes darted to the kids and back. ‘Call me. Anytime. I’m sure it was nothing. It just made me think of you.’

Beth opened her mouth to demand the woman explain what she had seen her husband doing, but Rachel turned her mega-smile on the kids, cutting her off.

‘Hey, Raya, how are you?’

‘Hi,’ Raya said, and Beth knew she did not remember who this was.

‘Congratulations on finishing number ten.’ Rachel slipped around Beth to make her exit. ‘Bye, honey.’

‘I will, definitely,’ Beth stammered.
Call you tonight
, she meant to say. Right after she confronted her husband and asked what the hell all that had been about.

She sent Raya and Chad to get the northern white beans, then tried to find Rachel before she left the store. She spotted her in the checkout line, but there were too many people clogging the lane. Beth used her cellphone to call Darren again. He did not answer. She tried the home number, which none of them used. He didn’t answer that one, either.

‘Why are you speeding?’ Raya asked her on the way home.

‘I don’t know,’ Beth told her. ‘I guess I’m hungry.’

When she pulled into the driveway, the Acura was in the garage and the Firebird was gone. Beth parked and the kids began unloading the shopping bags. The day of the police visit, Beth hadn’t wanted to scare Raya with a story about her father hitting a boy, the boy from their collective nightmares and other unexplained episodes, so she had told the kids that Dad had been driving down Kalmia when someone threw a rock at the car. She knew the girl had not believed her, but Raya had sensed something else was going on and now was not the time to pry into it.

Seeing the Acura’s windshield in the garage, her father’s other car missing, prompted a new round of concern.

‘Did you talk to him?’ Raya said. ‘Mom? Hello?’

‘Not yet.’

Inside, she tried him again, the kids watching her with not-so-subtle interest. No answer. She thought about calling the hospital, but that seemed like the next step. Irrationally, she felt that if she took
the next step
, then it would come true. He would be in the hospital, injured, maybe dead.

‘Mom?’ Raya prompted. ‘Where is he?’

‘He’ll be home soon,’ Beth said. ‘You two go put away your things while I get started on dinner.’

Her instincts, which were really hope and a prayer, turned out to be true. He came home not an hour later, uninjured and in no need of medical attention.

That part happened after bedtime, when Beth finally got to meet Adam.

Darren came home just before the sun went down. He had been driving around Erie, foolishly looking for the kid he knew he would not find again until the kid wanted to be found. He knew Beth would be angry that he hadn’t returned her calls all afternoon, and when he stepped inside and saw them – Beth, Raya and the ever-present Chad – all staring at him from the dinner table as if he had been missing for weeks, not a few hours, he knew he was in trouble. Not in the sense that his wife was upset. More like he needed serious help.

‘Where in God’s name have you been?’ Beth said.

He made himself a plate of grilled sweet sausage, beans, salad and bread, then took a cold can of Upslope brown ale from the fridge and sat at the head of the table.

‘I’m sorry I worried you.’

Raya stared at him with sympathy. Chad politely focused on his food.

Beth was still scowling. ‘Do you know I almost called the hospital looking for you?’

Darren threw back a third of the beer and swallowed. He felt drunk almost immediately, realizing that, once again, he hadn’t eaten all day.

‘Adam came back today. He was sleeping in the shop’s attic.’

They all waited for the punchline.

Darren swallowed a forkful of garlic-laced beans. ‘We decided to look up Tommy Berkley, a kid we used to ride with.’ He splashed more balsamic on his sausage. ‘He lives out in Erie, so we paid him a visit. I learned a bunch more bad stuff about his childhood. Then, when I got back to the car, Adam was gone.’

Darren took another swig of beer and looked to each of them. ‘He’s not here, is he? No, I guess he wouldn’t have made it back here yet. Unless he steals a car. But I’m sure he’ll turn up again soon. He won’t let this go until it’s over.’

No one spoke for a moment.

Finally Raya said, ‘He’s real? The boy Gremme knows?’

‘Raya —’ Beth began.

‘Oh, he’s real, honey,’ Darren said. ‘He’s ten, maybe eleven years old. Same as when I knew him from elementary school. I hit him with the car a few days ago. That’s the story with the windshield. The reason the police were here. But they can’t find him either. His family were part of a cult, like Satan worshippers, or maybe just mean white trash. They used to do things to his sister —’

‘All right,’ Beth snapped. ‘Enough. Raya, Chad, will you excuse us for a while? Please. Take your dinner into your room.’

‘It’s okay,’ Darren said. ‘I’m not hiding anything. They should hear this.’

‘You be quiet,’ Beth told him. She turned to Raya. ‘Honey? Chad? Would you?’

They got up. Raya looked to Chad. ‘Are we still going to that party?’

‘Up to you,’ Chad answered.

Raya looked to her mom. ‘Maybe we’ll just step out for a couple hours.’

‘Be safe,’ Darren said. ‘No drinking and driving.’

Beth waved them away. ‘Fine, yes, go. But you better answer your phone when I call you.’

‘I will,’ Raya said. They carried their plates to the kitchen. Chad took an extra sausage and ate it with his fingers as they found their jackets and headed for the door.

Darren drained the rest of his beer.

When they had gone, Beth pushed her plate away and stared at him. ‘What is this? Explain it to me. Everything. Don’t tell me about nightmares and dreams and visions. Tell me what the hell is going on, right now, or so help me God, I will throw you into the Atrium with your mother.’

‘Outside,’ he said. ‘So I can keep an eye on the shop.’

They sat on the back patio and had another beer together while he told her about visiting Tommy, and the story of Adam’s childhood as Tommy had relayed it. The sister. The abuse. The fire that echoed in his dreams.

‘I am being sucked in, haunted, invaded somehow,’ he said to her with a straight face. ‘By Adam Burkett, this kid who never grew up. He’s not finished, Beth, I’m sure of it. He will be back.’

Beth did not argue or interrupt, and he knew she was humoring him in some way, waiting for him to get it all out before she passed her judgment. She asked no questions, at least not until he finished.

‘What does he want? What is the end of this? Darren, can you tell me that?’

‘He wants me to find out who killed him. Or what severed his life and memories. Maybe that’s the same thing as death. Maybe he never died. Maybe this kid is someone else and Adam got inside him. I don’t know how or why, Beth, but if we don’t find out who kept him from that bike and whatever happened on that last day of school, why he set the fire, what he did after that, he will continue to cause problems for us. Us and others. I know that. I feel that.’

Beth set her beer down. He had been talking for over an hour and she looked as exhausted as he felt. ‘I see. So, what’s the plan? What are you going to do? Look up more old friends on Facebook? Build another bike?’

‘I don’t know,’ Darren said. ‘I can’t do anything more tonight. I’m spent.’

‘I’m sure you are,’ she said. ‘But since you don’t have a plan, I’m going to share one of my own. I hope you’re good with it, because there really isn’t another choice.’

‘Fire away,’ he said.

‘We’re going to sleep now, because we’re both drunk.’

‘Okay.’

‘And when we wake up, first thing in the morning, and I do mean the very first thing, before we brush our teeth, we are going to call Officer Sewell back and tell him everything we left out the first time, along with everything else you’ve learned since. You will tell them everything you just told me, and then they will do their jobs. If you refuse, if you hold anything back from me or them —’

‘I agree,’ he said. ‘I’m not arguing.’

She pressed him with her eyes.

‘I mean it,’ he said. ‘We have an obligation at this point. We need help.’

‘Thank you for admitting that,’ Beth said.

Darren began to rise.

‘One more thing,’ she said.

‘Yep?’

‘What happened at Safeway?’

‘Come again?’

‘What did you do at the grocery store a few days ago? I ran into Rachel Needham today, in the same store. She was trying to tell me but she didn’t get to it before Raya and Chad showed up. Obviously it was something sensitive and not good. She asked how you were doing, the way someone asks about a sick relative. Can you tell me what she was referring to?’

Darren rocked back on his heels, shook his head.

Beth picked up their plates. ‘You don’t know what she’s talking about?’

‘No idea,’ he said. ‘I would tell you.’

‘Do you swear?’

‘Beth, I just told you everything. What else is there?’

‘I don’t know, but she seemed to think it was something. You didn’t see her?’

‘When was this?’

‘A few days ago, I think. Recently.’

Darren thought about it, but no, he was sure. ‘I haven’t seen Rachel since we saw her together at the Christmas party last year. She didn’t say what it was?’

‘I’m going to call her.’ Beth looked at her watch. ‘Now, in fact. I can’t go to bed with this hanging over us.’

Darren didn’t like the thought of anyone in their social circle getting involved in their private affairs. But he knew there was no way around it. He had scared his wife enough tonight. She deserved to handle things as she saw fit.

He yawned. ‘I’m going to hop in the shower. Then bed. Let me know what she says.’

‘Oh, I will.’

He leaned to kiss her as she passed, but she ducked out of the way and gave him a sour look. He watched her put away the dishes for a moment, then did as he was told.

Beth found Rachel’s number in her paper address book, made sure Darren was in the shower, then took her cellphone out onto the patio. Rachel didn’t answer, so Beth left a voicemail.

‘Rachel, hi, it’s Beth. I’m sorry we were interrupted. I’d like to continue our conversation from earlier today. Please call me back anytime. I’ll be up. Thanks.’

It was only a little after nine. Beth decided to wait up for at least an hour. She went back inside, filled a glass with wine, snuck a cigarette from the stale pack she kept in one of the drawers in the bill-paying alcove, plus the lighter. She carried her mini-survivalist kit back out to the patio and took up her vigil, wishing she had brought a jacket. The air was still warm, the breeze gentle, but she couldn’t stop shivering. Just as well. She needed to keep awake, alert.

She looked at her phone every few minutes. ‘Come on, come on.’

What if he did come back, this boy Adam? What if she saw him? Having heard Darren’s outrageous story about it all, how would she react? She didn’t want to find out. Have faith, she reminded herself. Somewhere in this mess there is an explanation that makes total sense. And it has nothing to do with reincarnation, ghosts.

She shivered again.

Ten minutes later she went back inside for another cigarette. As she was lighting up, her phone vibrated. Beth recognized the number.

‘Rachel?’ She tried not to sound desperate, but failed.

‘Hi, sweetie,’ Rachel said, a cacophony of ambient noise nearly drowning her words. ‘Sorry I didn’t call you back right away. We’re just finishing dinner downtown.’

‘No problem,’ Beth said. ‘If this is a bad time…’

‘Not at all. I didn’t want to leave you hanging earlier today. I just thought you would want to hear it first, without, you know, Raya.’

‘Oh God. Do I want to hear this?’

Rachel didn’t say anything for a moment. The noise on her end quieted, as if she had stepped outside or gotten into a car. ‘I would. If it was my husband. But if you haven’t guessed by now, it’s probably not what you’re thinking.’

Beth inhaled, closed her eyes. ‘Please, tell me. This is making me sick.’

Rachel told her what she had seen in the grocery store. It wasn’t a long story, or anything Beth had expected. Darren walked out with a bag of food, without paying. It wasn’t the worst thing she had ever heard, but she did not know what it meant in the larger scheme of things.

‘You’re sure it was Darren? Because, honestly, it makes no sense. It had to be an accident.’

‘I’m sure.’

‘He hasn’t been himself lately,’ Beth said. ‘He’s been overstressed about a few things. I’m sure it was a simple mistake.’

‘Hm, maybe, but there was something else, too,’ Rachel said. ‘A different sort of episode. This I got from Jessica Harkins. Do you know her?’

‘The name is vaguely familiar,’ Beth said. ‘She went to CU?’

‘Colorado State. But they live here now. Her husband Brian works at a software company in the Valmont Office Park, out there right off 55th. You know the one?’

‘I know the area,’ Beth said, wondering what the hell this could be about.

‘There’s a new bike park out there, I guess,’ Rachel said. ‘Next to the airport. But the office complex is right beside it. Brian said he sees kids out there riding all the time, adults too. Fathers with their sons.’

‘Darren was there,’ Beth concluded.

‘Right.’

‘And?’

‘Well this is the funny part, or not so funny. I don’t know.’

‘It’s not, but go on. What did Brian Harkins see?’

‘Brian went in really early for something, to prepare some project for a morning meeting, so we’re talking like 6:30 a.m. Anyway, this was in the parking lot, which was empty, and I guess there’s a bunch of trees and grass medians and all the rest, you know how they landscape these things.’

‘Yes.’ Beth could picture it, like any office park, everything groomed, the parking lot clean pitch black, perfect lane paint, the grass mowed every Friday morning.

‘Well, apparently Brian pulls up and there’s somebody sleeping in the grass, under a tree. The guy didn’t look homeless or anything, so Brian was worried he was hurt. He went over and —’

‘It was my husband,’ Beth said. ‘My husband was sleeping on the lawn in front of an office building. That’s what you’re telling me?’

‘That’s what I heard from Jessica, so it’s not like one hundred per cent confirmed. Brian doesn’t know Darren except from the paper and the one time they met at the party, so he could have been mistaken. But when she told me, I put it together with the other thing, and it… well, it concerned me, and I thought you should know.’

‘No, yeah, definitely,’ Beth said. She felt as though she had been diagnosed with a tumor. ‘I’m glad you did. Tell me. I have to… I need to talk with him.’

‘Any idea what it might be? Is there anything I can do?’

Beth got up and paced the yard. ‘I can’t talk about it right now. But this is, oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s not a total shock. That’s all I can say.’

Rachel offered more consolation, sympathy, told her to call anytime.

Beth was thinking about the knife Darren had shown her. The one that came from Adam’s backpack. She was thinking about the Kavanaughs. Raya’s dead teacher and her dead husband and their dead son Josh.

She was thinking, maybe we won’t call the police tomorrow morning. Until we can be sure. What’s the next step when you suspect your husband might have turned into a monster?

‘Thank you, Rachel. I have to go now.’

Beth disconnected the line. Finished her cigarette and stubbed it out on the patio. Inside, she walked the bridge, to their master bedroom. The shower was off, along with the bedroom lights, though he had left the bathroom light on. It cast a blade of yellow across the foot of their bed, where Darren’s bare toes stood upright, making her think of a body in the morgue.

‘Darren?’ she said softly.

He did not respond.

‘Darren, honey? Are you awake?’

He breathed raggedly and rolled onto his side, facing away from her. She shook his leg, but he did not awaken. He was exhausted, she told herself. He had a very long day. Better to let him sleep.

Something he hadn’t been doing a whole lot of these days.