The Organization (17 page)

“Oh,” Charlotte replied, waiting for more explanation and thinking about how 0900 hours was past her bedtime.

“I think you should attend.”

“Oh, well, sure.  I can come,” Charlotte replied, getting butterflies at the idea of seeing Harriet again and hopefully getting the chance to ask her about recent events.

“Splendid,” Joanna replied with a smile.  “Same place as last time.  And this time leave your knife at home, eh?”

“Right,” Charlotte said, chagrinned.

***

Charlotte arrived just before the meeting was scheduled to start.  She recognized one of the two guards, who again patted her down in the foyer, but didn’t require anyone to vouch for her this time.  Must have a good memory, she thought.  Or maybe someone – Joanna – had told the guards to expect her.

The meeting was less full this time.  She was able to glance around and observe some of the people in attendance.  As before, they spanned various spectrums of age, race, and clothing style, but there was a sense of camaraderie that she hadn’t noticed the first time.

She leaned against a back wall, not talking to anyone.  She wanted to see Harriet, and she lasciviously hoped Harriet would be wearing that same black dress again.

A hush came over the crowd as Daniel approached the dais.  “Welcome, brothers and sisters,” he said.  Charlotte peered over the shoulder of someone in front of her to see that Joanna stood near Daniel at the base of the dais.  She wished Joanna had come over to say hello before the meeting.

Daniel reviewed the latest hot spots to avoid and a list of recent arrests.  Charlotte wondered when, or perhaps if, Harriet would make an appearance.  She was only half listening to Daniel when she heard him mention Thomas and, she thought, her own name, and then people were clapping and looking at her.  She stood up straighter, her cheeks flushing, and gave a nod.  And then, it seemed, the meeting was over as people disbursed for coffee and chitchat.  Several individuals came over to shake her hand or slap her on her arm with a remark of “Good on you,” “Well done,” and even one “Thank you.”  After that, Charlotte was alone again.  She sought out Joanna, who was talking with Daniel.

“Glad you came,” Joanna said.  “It’s good to be recognized for your valuable work.  Everyone here knows Thomas and is relieved that he’s recovering well, thanks to you.”

“Just doing my part,” Charlotte mumbled.

“That’s all that’s asked of any of us, really,” Daniel said.

“Hmm,” Charlotte replied noncommittally.  “You know, I thought I’d see Harriet here tonight,” she said, trying to make her voice as light as possible.

“She doesn’t usually give speeches,” Daniel replied, looking apologetic.  “That was a special case last time.  It’s just too high profile, mate.  Can’t risk her in front of a crowd for just any meeting.”

“But is she here? I mean, is she back in town?” Charlotte asked.

Daniel looked slightly confused, but Joanna simply smiled and interjected, “Why don’t you get to know some of the people here?  I see a couple of people at the coffee table whom I think you’d really like.”

“So she’s not here?” Charlotte asked, undeterred.

Joanna put her arm around Charlotte and guided her as they walked away from Daniel.  “It’s best not to ask those kinds of questions.  Come, let me introduce you to some people.”

Charlotte realized that she wasn’t going to see Harriet, whether she was here or not.  She replied, “If it’s all the same to you, I think I’d rather go home and sleep.”

“Of course, that’s fine.  Thanks again for coming, Charlie.”

Charlotte nodded and made her way for the door, disappointed.  Once out on the street, she made it about a block before she heard footsteps behind her, and turned to see Daniel approaching.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.

“You didn’t.”

“I wanted to tell you…” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable.

“Yes?” Charlotte asked.

“I saw Harriet earlier today,” Daniel said, his words rushing out.  “At this hour, she’s probably at home.”

Charlotte wanted to thank him for the information but she found herself asking, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you’d want to know,” Daniel said.

“Yes, but… that time, outside the Bird’s Nest, you implied that I’m a distraction to Harriet.  So what’s changed?” she asked, not caring that her words and tone were confrontational.

“Maybe I was wrong,” Daniel said.

“That’s it?” she asked.

He shrugged and replied, “Listen, mate, I just thought you’d like to know that she’s home.  What you do with that knowledge is up to you.”

Maybe Charlotte was too quick to assume Daniel had an ulterior motive.  She thought again to thank him for telling her, but paused, caught up in another thought.  She asked, “Why didn’t you say something inside?”

“In front of Joanna?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

“There’s your answer,” he said.  “Listen, I’ve got to get back, but I hope to see you again.  Stay well.”  He turned and left, his long legs making quick distance between them.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Charlotte didn’t go to see Harriet.  She didn’t go that day or the next day.  She admitted to herself that perhaps she was angry that Harriet had gone out of town without even mentioning it and then returned without seeing her.  Maybe Joanna was right and this was goodbye, an indirect way of letting Charlotte know that they were just a fling.

As Charlotte headed into the final hour of the sixth of six scheduled workdays in a row, a diginote appeared before her at her desk.  It was from Harriet, and it read, “Come to mine after work?”

Charlotte sighed gloomily, wondering if this was the start of Harriet breaking her heart.  She didn’t send a reply.

She slipped out of the lab as soon as the signal sounded that her shift was over.  She showered and returned to her locker, dressing quickly.

“There you are,” Joanna said.  “Coming to tea?”

“Not today.  Sorry."

“Okay,” Joanna said.

Charlotte took the Tube to Harriet’s neighborhood, which saved her some time but cost her a few credits.  When she arrived at the house, the sun was just beginning to rise, and she knew this cast her in shadows at the front door.  The lights were off inside when she rang the bell.

Charlotte was about to give up and leave when Harriet opened the door, uncharacteristically wearing pajamas – a matching set of cream-colored, satin trousers and camisole – rather than her usual crisp, tailored dress clothes.  “You came,” she said.  “I thought you wouldn’t, that maybe you hadn’t received my note.  You didn’t write back.”

“I got it,” Charlotte said.

“Come in,” Harriet replied, moving aside and then closing the door behind her.  She pulled Charlotte into an embrace and whispered in her ear, “I’ve missed you.”

Charlotte pulled back and asked, “Have you really?”

“Of course I have,” she said, her brow furrowing.  “What’s wrong, Charlie?”

Charlotte studied her face, still feeling the residual warmth of her body.  She decided to be straightforward.  She swallowed hard and asked, “Have you asked me here because you don’t want to see me anymore?  You thought you’d do the right thing and tell me in person?”

“Are you having a laugh?” Harriet asked incredulously.

“No,” Charlotte said, feeling her cheeks begin to burn.  “It’s just, with everything I’ve been doing lately… and you haven’t seemed to even want to see me.”

“What do you mean by ‘everything you’ve been doing lately?’  What have you been doing?” Harriet asked, the corners of her mouth tugging downward into a frown, her eyes looking worried.

Her mind raced to catch up as Charlotte replied, “Just, you know, Thomas and the Birds’ Nest, then the rendezvous with the medical supplier, and going to the meeting the other morning, where I thought I’d see you.”

“Oh dear God,” Harriet said under her breath as she steepled her fingers in front of her mouth.  She dropped her hands and said, “I hadn’t known that was you.  That shouldn’t have been you.  I told Joanna to get someone to go, but…”

“You didn’t know.”

“No,” she replied.  Somewhere in the background, a grandfather clock ticked.  It seemed louder than Charlotte had never noticed.  Harriet said in a resigned voice, “So you’re involved.”

“Yes, I’m involved with the organization.”

“Whether I like it or not,” she said.  “Joanna’s made sure of that.”

“I thought… really, Harriet, I thought you’d be pleased.  I’m sorry you’re not,” Charlotte said quietly.

Harriet’s chin rose slightly as she asked, “Tell me, Charlie, are you my lover or are you a soldier in my army?”  Charlotte heard the subtle contempt in her voice as she said “soldier in my army,” as though she were accusing Charlotte of still thinking of the organization as a militaristic rebellion.

Charlotte felt agitated and responded without care.  “I didn’t think it was an either/or situation.  I doubt Thomas sees it that way either.”

“And you saw what happened to him.”  Harriet said something that sounded like “I need a drink” and walked into the kitchen.  Charlotte followed her, and watched as she poured herself a dram of scotch.  For a fleeting moment, she thought with surprise about how Harriet not only kept illicit books in her house but also alcohol.  Harriet sipped from her glass, leaning back against the counter, and looked at Charlotte.  “Would you like some?”

“Yes, I think so,” Charlotte replied, and took a glass of the smoky-tasting liquid from her.  She felt the weight of the glass in her palm and took a small drink.  “I didn’t mean to upset you, Harriet.  I’m sorry.”

Harriet took another sip of her drink and then stared at Charlotte for a long, silent moment.  Charlotte felt like she could see the wheels in her mind spinning.

“I wish you’d say something,” Charlotte said to her.

“Thomas is in the countryside,” Harriet said at last.

“Yes, I’ve heard. And I guess you went out to see him.”  She tried not to sound too sullen as she spoke.

“He’s not coming back,” Harriet said.

“Okay… but I thought he was doing better.  I mean, at the meeting, they acted like I was some kind of hero for helping him.”

Harriet closed her eyes, squeezing the bridge of her nose, and then said, “He’s all right.  But he wanted a different assignment.  He thought things were too… ‘intense’ is what he said, I think… here in the city.  Here with me.  I went out there to try to convince him otherwise, that we need him here, but it didn’t work.  I could have ordered him back, but what would have been the point of that?”

“Oh,” Charlotte said quietly.  “I’m sorry, Harriet.”

“Yes, so you keep saying,” she replied.  She downed the rest of her drink, and sighed, still holding her glass, perhaps deciding on whether she needed another drink.

Charlotte set her glass on the table nearby, and stepped closer to her, deciding to push her luck.  She reached up and stroked Harriet’s cheek, telling her, “I’m not him.  And I’m stronger than you might think.”

Harriet grabbed Charlotte’s wrist with her free hand, squeezing it slightly harder than was comfortable and stopping her from continuing her caress.  “Sometimes I think I’ve been foolish with you, letting my guard down as I have.”

Charlotte felt as though she had been slapped across the face, but she continued listening, stunned by her words.

“You see, I don’t bloody care what happens to me, but I don’t want to ruin yet another life.  If something happened to you…” Harriet said, her voice trailing off.  Her gaze had lowered to her lips but she looked Charlotte in the eye again as she said, “If you started to resent me… to blame me for getting you caught up in what sometimes appears to be a losing battle….”

“I won’t,” Charlotte said firmly.

“But you might,” Harriet said.

“No.  And I’m not going anywhere,” Charlotte said.  Harriet released her wrist, allowing Charlotte to grip her hand.  “I’m not going to leave you, and nothing is going to happen to me.”

“You can’t promise that,” she replied stubbornly.

“If I have any control over it, I won’t ever leave you,” Charlotte told her.  “That I can promise you.”

Harriet studied her for another long moment, her eyes glistening.  She then surprised Charlotte by leaning forward and kissing her softly, and murmured against her lips, “I love you, Charlie.”

Although she wasn’t proud of it, Charlotte’s first thought was ‘So Joanna was wrong.  Harriet does love me.’  After what she hoped was an imperceptible delay, she replied, “And I love you, Harriet.”

As she held Harriet close, Charlotte realized that her heart was breaking tonight after all as she was finally letting go of Maggie and allowing herself to fall in love again.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Five weeks passed, and Thomas hadn’t returned.  It also happened to be Erin’s birthday, so Charlotte and Erin celebrated with a midnight lunch at a curry restaurant on Gray’s Inn Road.  The restaurant was so close to King’s Cross Station that Charlotte couldn’t help but think about that initial meeting with the medical supplier at the nearby hotel all those weeks back, or about the two subsequent meetings that had taken place in more recent weeks.

“Are you still helping out with, well, you know what?” Erin asked over lunch, seeming to read Charlotte’s mind.

“Yes,” Charlotte admitted.  “Just here and there, where I can.  But I’m careful.”  Charlotte didn’t tell her how it was an ongoing source of tension with Harriet, how Harriet told her that she felt conflicted over genuinely appreciating what Charlotte was able to do for the organization but wishing it could be someone else taking those risks instead, and then feeling guilty over those feelings and wishes.

“I suppose Harriet does what she can, too?  She also helps out?” Erin asked.

Charlotte thought, ‘That’s an understatement.’  Aloud, she said, “Yes, she does.”

“At least you’re on equal footing then.  Remember what I said about not being taken advantage of,” Erin said.  Charlotte knew she was only looking out for her but Erin was mistaken about so many things.

“She gave me a key to her house a couple of weeks ago,” Charlotte said.