The Only Thing Worse Than Witches (16 page)

The Unfair Bargain

S
ANDY STEPPED IN
FRONT OF
R
UPERT
protectively, even though the bunnies were still stuck in their cage.

Rupert stepped out from behind her. “I don't belong to you! You can't take me!”

The Fairfoul Bunny lifted her upper lip and showed her enormous bunny teeth. “Oh, but I can. Your mother's punishment for stealing our forbidden potion was that we were allowed to take back the effects of the potion
—
you
—
at any time we wanted. Of course, that deal has since been amended . . .”

“What do you mean?” Rupert asked.

“Your pesky mother grew frightened and paranoid that we would claim you, and eventually, she tried to run away with you, but we dragged her back to Gliverstoll. She begged and pleaded for your freedom and your life, and eventually we came to . . . an agreement. I promised to leave you alone . . . in exchange for her services. For years, she has been serving me, doing all sorts of jobs
—
”

“
What
sort of jobs?” Rupert asked.

“Anything, everything
—
from delivering potions to our buyers, to testing any new potions, to scrubbing the floors of our lair. She has been paying for you with her labor, sweat, and tears.” The Fairfoul Bunny laughed, and a few others chimed in
—
but some of the bunnies shook their heads, looking thoroughly unamused.

“My mom was right about you
—
you truly are horrible.”

The Fairfoul Bunny bared her teeth and paced around the cage. “I didn't tell you the best part, yet. The deal with your mom stated that she was never allowed to leave Gliverstoll again, she was never to cross the witches, and . . .”

“And?”

“
You
were never to cross the witches.”

That
was why his mother never wanted him near any witches. That was why she was always so overprotective.

“But now you have crossed the witches, the deal is broken, and you belong to me,” she squealed. “And
believe
me when I say that I will make you pay, you foul, appalling child. You repugnant, wretched huma
—
”

“That's enough out of you,” Sandy said coldly. “You can't touch Rupert or his family. And no threat you say matters anymore
—
you already signed the pledge, and now you have to leave Rupert and his family alone. Fairfoul Witch, I will hold you to your oath. I will hold you all to it. Now, I suppose I should honor my side of the agreement, too. I'll start with my guardians. Warm. Webby.” Sandy snapped her fingers, and Storm and Nebby transformed from the tawny rabbit and the brown rabbit back into witches. Then they transfigured themselves out of the cage.

Sandy handed the contract to Nebby. “Can you put a magical seal on this? I want an expert to do it.”

Nebby smiled. “Let's do it together.”

Storm nodded. “All three of us. As a family.”

They stood together, smiling. Then they each snapped. Nebby and Storm said s
eal
, but Rupert swore he heard Sandy say
peel.

The scroll shimmered and rolled up, and Sandy grabbed it out of the air and handed it to Rupert. “Keep this safe,” she said.

“And now for the Witches Council,” Nebby said.

“Do you
have
to turn them back into witches?” Rupert said. “I think they're much more pleasant this way.”

“You know I can't do that, Rupert.”

Sandy put her arm around Rupert. “Let's just hope that the lot of them have learned their lessons!”

Nebby and Storm opened the cage and turned the witches back into their original forms. The Fairfoul Witch scowled, turned on her heel, and sulked into the cave. The Midnight Witch glared at Nebby. “Was this
your
doing?” she said.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” said Nebby coolly. “I gave Rupert the same potion that was handed to me. If you wish to go around pointing fingers at other witches, then go ahead. But the last time our Council fell into chaos was also the time our last Undercat was overthrown. Just remember that.”

The Midnight Witch stomped back into the witches' lair. The rest of the Witches Council and the young witchlings followed suit.

Nebby put a hand on Rupert's shoulder. “We should get back to your mother,” she said.

Storm's eyes bulged, but her lips cracked into a smile. “In the closet holds a mummy, for her it must be very crummy!”

“Storm,” Sandy said. “You sure are good at rhyming words. I should pick your brain later about spells I could use.”

Storm looked aghast and ran down the hill and across the street, shouting, “STAY AWAY FROM MY BRAIN!”

Rupert turned to Nebby. “Did you know about Mrs. Frabbleknacker the whole time?”

“The Witches Council just found out this morning. The Fairfoul Witch had us believe that she slept during the sunlight hours. Really, I don't know how she managed to conceal her job as a fifth-grade teacher for all this time. She truly is as good at magic as her title suggests.”

“Fairfoul?”

“No, head witch.”

“Oh,” Rupert said. “You know, when you gave me that potion, I really thought you were trying to kill me!”

“I had to put on a show, Rupert,” she said. “I still need to remain on the Council, but that doesn't mean I don't have a few tricks up my sleeve. I switched the vial of potion
—
I gave you something of my own concoction.”

“Mmm, what was the potion?” Sandy asked. “I've never seen anything like that before!”

Nebby smiled. “It was a potion that turns the drinker
—
and whoever the drinker touches
—
into a rabbit. It's a highly contagious effect, which is exactly what the situation required
—
I knew that all the witches needed to be momentarily incapacitated, and I knew that my witchling would never touch a rabbit.”

Sandy shook her head. “Nuh-uh. Not
ever
!”

Rupert scrunched his face in thought. “But didn't the other witches have magic, too? Couldn't they have stopped it?”

“Never underestimate the power of surprise, Rupert,” said Nebby. “I caught them all off guard.”

“BEAUTIFUL!” Storm shrieked, and from a distance, Rupert could see her skipping through flowers.

“That's my cue,” said Nebby, and she followed Storm down the hill to calm her down.

Rupert and Sandy walked down the hill together, behind Sandy's family, toward Rupert's house.

Sandy kept bursting out in laughs, and soon she began to jump up and down. She grabbed Rupert's hand and pumped it up and down. “Rupert! Rupert, Rupert! Now we don't have to hide anymore! We can go on the playground and we can go get a milk- shake and we can even go swimming! I'm so happy!” she said with a sniffle. “R-rupert? Can I cry now?”

“Knock yourself out,” he said, and Sandy began to bawl on his shoulder as they walked down the street toward home.

Finally, the Truth: or, The End of an Era

R
UPERT
WALKED INTO HIS HOUS
E WITH THE
S
TORM
Witch, the Nebulous Witch, and Sandy by his side. He instantly ran into the basement, where he could hear faint knocks from inside of the closet.

When Rupert opened the door, his mom stumbled out helplessly, falling to her knees. Her hair was all knotted, and dark circles surrounded her bloodshot eyes. At the sight of Rupert, she began to cry.

“Mom!” Rupert said. “I'm so sorr
—
”

But he didn't even have a chance to finish his sentence before his mother pulled him into a hug. She sobbed, kissing the top of his head over and over. Then she held him at arm's length and said, “RUPERT ARCHIBALD CAMPBELL, IF YOU
EVER
DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN . . .” But the next moment she folded him into her weeping, kissing embrace again.

Finally, his mother calmed down enough to sputter, “You are so grounded. Where in the world have you been?” She looked up, but her gaze stopped on Nebby and Storm. “I
—
I know you. You're a part of the Wi
—
” She caught herself and looked at Rupert.

“It's okay, Mom. I know they're part of the Witches Council. And I know they forced you to work for them.”

“I'm the Nebulous Witch.” Nebby held out her hand, and his mother tentatively shook it. “Ah, now that we're face-to-face, I do think I recognize you, but we've never actually met.”

After a moment's hesitation, Rupert's mother began to speak. “I've only ever talked to the Fairfoul Witch and the Midnight Witch,” she said, her voice sounding a little timid. “They forbid me from speaking to anyone. And I've only stepped foot in the lair during off-hours.”

“That explains it, then,” Nebby said warmly. “I'm sorry for anything you went through because of them. We aren't all quite so difficult, are we Storm?”

Storm walked over and pinched his mom's cheeks. “Hello, I'm Storm. Lovely,
lovely
to meet you!”

“Rupert?” his mom said, calling for help.

Rupert pried Storm off his mother's face. And then he told his mother everything, starting at the very beginning. He told her all about Mrs. Frabbleknacker's trip to the dump, all about her horrible lessons, all about the help he had been giving Sandy, all about Mrs. Frabbleknacker's true identity as the Fairfoul Witch, and about the great rabbit fiasco.

“Back up!” his mother interrupted. “Your teacher was the
Fairfoul Witch
?”

Sandy nodded vigorously, and Storm shrugged.

“But
—
but
why
?”

Nebby gently rested her hand on his mother's shoulder. “After listening to the Fairfoul Witch's testimony, the Council realizes now that we severely underestimated how much she loved to practice her punishments. Last summer, she saw that a post for a fifth-grade teacher was available, and she took the job. Because, truly, where better to practice cruel magic than with a class of kids? After all, who would believe them?”

Rupert glared at his mother, and she guiltily slouched.

Nebby kept talking. “Can you believe she had been lying to her own Witches Council? She sneaked out in the morning when we all thought she was sleeping, and none of us ever wanted to disturb her sleep because she is a renowned grouch when she wakes up. I can't believe she pulled the wool over my eyes for so long.”

“Don't blame yourself, Nebby,” Sandy said brightly. “She fooled us all. You know, Rupert always smelled very funny when he came home from school. I should have recognized her scent way earlier.”

Rupert's mother put a hand on his shoulder. “You tried to tell me all about Mrs. Frabbleknacker, and I wouldn't listen.”

“That's okay, Mom,” Rupert said. “Allison's parents didn't believe her either, and she came home with mustache and beard. And Manny's parents didn't even notice he was gone!”

“Gone?”

Rupert nodded. “Mrs. Frabbleknacker turned him into our class pet.”

His mother steadied herself by gripping the basement table.

Nebby pursed her lips. “We have reason to believe that the Fairfoul Witch was using potions on local parents to make them forget about their children.”

“Well, that's horrible!” said Rupert's mother. “That witch is the most horrible witch I've ever had the misfortune to meet.”

Rupert shuffled his feet. Then he took a deep breath and asked the question that had been gnawing at him for a while. “Mom, why did you steal that forbidden potion? You must have known you'd be punished.”

“Yes, that was certainly a risk.”

“Why did you do it, then?”

She pulled him into a tight hug. “Because I wanted you in my life, Rupert. You're more important to me than anything else in the world.”

Rupert swallowed a choked-up feeling in his throat, and he buried his face into her middle.

His mother brushed his hair with her hand. “When I look at you, I know I made the right choice. You're worth it, Rupert. You are so worth every bit of my debt, and I'll be glad to pay it off for as long as I live.”

“You won't have to,” Rupert said, and he pulled the signed contract from his pocket. “The Witches Council promised to leave us alone.”

His mother tore the contract from him, her eyes widening as she read. “How did you
—
”

“It was Sandy,” Rupert said. “And Nebby and Storm, too
—
they helped.”

His mother read over the contract again and wiped the silent tears off her cheeks. When she finally spoke again, her voice was choked, but she cracked a smile wider than Rupert had seen on her in years.

“You were right, Rupert,” his mother said. “You were right all along.”

“About the witches?”

“No, about Sandy. She's a good friend.”

“The best,” Rupert agreed.

Sandy smiled and blushed a shade so red she almost looked purple.