The Only One for Her (12 page)

Chapter 24: Lindy

Randy dropped me off a little after midnight. It was late, but Ro had made me promise to call her as soon as our date ended. I had to admit I couldn’t wait until morning to tell her what happened anyway.

“So, how was it? Did you have a good time?”

“Yes, we had a great time. Randy showed me sides of him I didn’t know existed.”

“Oh really? Do tell.” I could envision Ro raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, I guess the most important thing that happened tonight was he proposed.”

“What? He proposed? Did he have a ring?” Ro sounded like she wanted to climb through the phone to gawk at my hand.

“Yes. I’m looking at it right now. It’s a princess cut diamond. Beautiful, big.”

“You said yes?” she practically shouted. “You’re getting married?”

“I did. He was very persuasive. When I told him we’d only been on one date, he said that wasn’t correct. He had been on almost all of my dates with Dane. Then it hit me that Randy was a part of my life. A really good part, but I just hadn’t been ready to see it yet.”

“Wow. I’m just totally blown away by this whole thing. You and Randy are getting married.”

I couldn’t believe it either. It had all happened so suddenly. I hadn’t had a chance to catch my breath yet. “It is pretty crazy, isn’t it.”

“Maybe, but not if you love him. You do love him, right?”

I hadn’t really thought about that. Did I love him? I wasn’t sure. I liked him. I’d known him forever. He was comfortable.

“Lindy, are you there?”

“Yes.”

“Which question are you answering?”

“I’m here.”

“I see. So, you don’t love him.”

“I’m not sure. He’s a good man and I really like him. Listen, do you think we could talk more tomorrow? I’m really beat and I have the lunch shift.”

“Of course. Let’s get together after you get off work. We’ll talk more then.”

Saying goodnight to my best friend, a strange sensation came over me. Her question about me loving Randy kind of threw me. I didn’t know why it would. It was a perfectly logical question. But, I wasn’t really prepared to answer it.

Climbing into bed I was looking forward to shutting off my mind with blissful sleep. Closing my eyes, the only image I could conjure was the ruggedly handsome face of Trace Michaels, his hazel eyes gazing upon me. I remembered the night I went to him eager to be loved by him. To give myself to him, be lost in him. His eyes had seared through me as he’d realized what I had in mind. Every second with him had been sizzling hot, even if we weren’t touching each other. I didn’t have that kind of heat with Randy. But did I really need to for us to have a good life together? Was it realistic to think the kind of passion Trace and I shared would last for any length of time? Maybe it would have burned out quickly. I had no idea. All I knew was that I hadn’t shaken the image of Trace from my mind or released him from my heart. I’d thought about him constantly since I left him in Maui. Even on my date with Randy, Trace was there with me, flooding my mind with his sexy grin and boyish charm.

Why had I said yes to Randy’s proposal?
Would I be able to fall in love with him? I really needed to talk to Ro more, but the mental exhaustion had done me in. It would all have to wait until the morning. So, I drifted to sleep like I had every night, seeing myself in Maui with Trace, nestled in his muscular arms, never wanting to be anywhere else.

***

Tossing and turning all night, I opened my eyes about three minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Moving in slow motion, I turned it off before the beeping sound echoed through my confined space.
Coffee
. I needed coffee desperately. Stumbling out of bed, I made my way to my dingy kitchen that was really a throwback from the seventies and began my morning ritual. Hearing a car pull up outside, I looked out my window. Randy was getting out of his car with two cups of Starbuck’s coffee and a bag with breakfast, no doubt. He really was so thoughtful. I could totally handle that for the rest of my life.
But it would be a life without passion, Lindy.

Opening the door to welcome him in, Randy planted a soft kiss on my lips as he walked past to my small dinette. “I couldn’t wait to see you. Hope you haven’t had breakfast yet.”

“No, I just woke up. I was about to make coffee, so your timing is perfect.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said moving toward me, pulling me into his arms. “Anything to make my bride happy.”

Bride
. I was a bride with all that it implied. I felt a little flush. Randy was holding me in his arms, looking at me adoringly, and my heart was pounding so hard it felt like the thunder of galloping horses in my chest. Was this anxiety?

“Are you okay, Lindy?” His look of concern was so sweet. But Randy had always been kind toward me.

“Oh, yes. I’m fine. I think I’m ready for what you brought for breakfast. I’m starved.”

Randy led me with his hand on my lower back toward the table. He took out two spinach wraps and a bowl of fruit. I liked that he was health conscience.

“This is a really nice surprise,” I said. Taking a sip of the coffee he brought for me, I realized he knew exactly how I liked it. “You know I like hazelnut.”

“I’m very observant. Not much gets past me,” he said with a wink.

“Well, that’s a good quality in a man. One I’ll always appreciate.”

“So, you’re not freaking out that we got engaged last night? I know you felt like it was all of a sudden.”

“No, the idea is growing on me. So, no freaking out. Not yet anyway.” But what was with my racing heart?

“Well, I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way.” Randy caressed my face with the back of his hand. “I love you, Lindy, and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

I put my hand on the one he was cradling my face with. “I know you do and I want you to know I really appreciate you.” I’m sure that’s what he wanted to hear…his bride appreciated him. Randy smiled, but I knew he wanted me to tell him I loved him too. I just wasn’t ready to say those words. I’d only said them to Dane and I’d thought about saying them to Trace. I wanted to say them to Trace and would have if everything hadn’t gone sideways in a blink.

“I don’t want you to worry about a thing. I thought we could have a simple wedding at the church and the reception in my backyard. It would be nice to keep it casual. Don’t you agree?”

“I do. I’ve never been the fancy type. Simple is more my style.”

“Good, then it’s settled. Now we just need to set the date.”

Set the date? Take a deep breath, Lindy. Now might be the time to freak out.

My eyes widened and I inhaled deeply through my nose, exhaling through my mouth. I did this several times while Randy watched me.

“Lindy?”

“Y—yes?”

“It’s all right to be nervous. I’m not because I’ve thought about making you my wife for a long time. Probably since we were teenagers.”

“Teenagers?”

Randy looked down for a moment. “I know. I’m a cliché. I fell in love with you just like my best friend did. I never stopped. When he married you, I was happy for you both and I tried to move on and find someone of my own, but it just didn’t work out. Then, when Dane died, I knew it would take some time for you to feel whole again. I wanted to be respectful of your time to grieve and not push myself into your life before you were ready. I hope you’re ready, Lindy. Please tell me you are.”

The pleading look on Randy’s face stabbed me in the heart. He was so sincere and all I wanted to do was reassure him. “Spreading Dane’s ashes in Maui brought me the closure I didn’t have before. So, yes, I’m ready to be in a relationship.” As the words tumbled out of my mouth, Trace entered my mind again. Why did that have to keep happening? I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried. As much as I knew I now had to. Forever.

Chapter 25: Trace

Leaving Derrick’s parents in their state of shock and sadness had been difficult, but necessary. While I was there, Pastor Steven’s had returned their call. The memorial was scheduled for a week from Friday. The service would be held at the church they’d been attending for years. I told them I would contact a funeral home and make the arrangements for Derrick to be cremated. At some point in the immediate future, I’d have to inform Angelina of the arrangements to lay her
husband
to rest. The thought of it sickened me. Could she really have had anything to do with this? Could it have just been a simple accident? Maybe I was just suspicious of Angelina because she had hurt me. I had no idea. This just all seemed a little too convenient for her.

Walking into my office, my cell began ringing. It was her.

“Angelina,” I said. I wanted to be nice, but not too nice.

“Trace, what are we going to do without him?” she cried into the phone.

I didn’t know how to answer her because there was no “we.” “We have to think of what Derrick would want. He would want you to go on and find happiness.”

“Besides Derrick, you’re the only one who made me happy and I messed it all up.”

Okay, now I had entered an alternate universe. This was turning into the strangest conversation I’d ever had. “Well, it’s a difficult time for everyone.”

“It…it is,” she sobbed. “I’m so grateful to have you to turn to.”

Had I missed something? She didn’t have me to turn to. What the hell was happening?

“Trace, are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“I’m so glad I can lean on you during this difficult time.”

I had to put a stop to this right now. “Angelina, I’m not trying to be mean or rude, but you gave up your rights to have me to lean on the moment you slept with Derrick. I’m not interested in any kind of relationship with you.”

“I know I hurt you and I’ve apologized. But we’re business partners, so we’re going to have some sort of relationship. Whether it’s friendly or not is up to you. But I definitely want it to be friendly.”

And there it was.
Motive.
Whatever belonged to Derrick now belonged to her. She had everything he had worked so hard to accomplish. Part of which was a stake in my company
. Son of a bitch.

“Angelina, I’m aware that we work together and of course I want that relationship to be amiable. But outside of work, there’s nothing between us. I hope you can understand. We didn’t get married. You married my best friend instead.”

“Trace, we more than work together and you know it. Now that Derrick is gone, you and I are partners. We’re the ones to carry on his legacy and make sure the company thrives.”

It wasn’t bad enough Derrick was dead. His widow was in charge of his assets and I was never going to be rid of her. This was a nightmare of epic proportion. At least it didn’t sound like Derrick had told her everything about our partnership. I had the upper hand and planned to keep it for as long as I could.

“We’ll get everything worked out. I’m glad to hear you want to preserve Derrick’s memory by making the company succeed. Derrick and I have poured our hearts and souls into this place.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with where she was concerned. But, she was making her agenda clear that she wanted my company. Had she killed Derrick for his shares of the company? “Listen, I need to go. I have an appointment.”

“Okay. Call me later.”

“Sure.”

My chest felt like a boa constrictor was wrapped around it, squeezing hard. Angelina was dangerous. If I hadn’t caught her and Derrick, would I be the one in the morgue right now? That was too much to even think about. But she had made her point. It was clear to me she had more than a vested interest in my company, she wanted to control it. What was she going to do when she realized the terms of the agreement Derrick and I had in place? It wasn’t going to be pretty, but I could probably put it off until after the memorial service.

All I could do now was wait for Jack to come up with something on her. She clearly wasn’t what or who she seemed.

Chapter 26: Lindy

I had managed to put Randy off on setting a wedding date, but it was apparent he didn’t want to have a long engagement. I really didn’t either since the plan was to have a simple affair. He had just caught me off guard by bringing up dates. Before he left my place, he suggested we get married within a month. I told him I would think it over. So far, I hadn’t come up with any reason why we couldn’t.

Driving to work, I daydreamed about having the day off to relax or just do whatever I wanted. But instead, I’d be spending my day with a bunch of truckers who didn’t seem to know how to keep their hands to themselves. Hopefully, the bright shiny object on my left ring finger would discourage some of them. I really needed to get another job. Maybe I could work for Randy after we were married.

To say that my life had been a roller coaster ride the past couple of weeks was a gross understatement. More had transpired since I went to Maui than in the last three years. Thinking of my time there brought a warm sensation to my body. It had been special, almost as special as having Dane in my life, but it had also ended abruptly. During my couple of days in fairy-tale land the romantic in me thought maybe Trace was the one. My future husband. He was the total package—smart, kind, successful, drop-dead gorgeous. I rebuked myself for such foolish thoughts. How would it have been possible? He was there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. It astonished me that any woman could hurt him like that, though.

Since it was clear to me that I wasn’t going to be with Trace, I had to consider
why
we met. Our paths crossed for a reason. Was it simply that he was the one to help me move on? The one to make me feel again? The one to make me believe in love? I really had no idea. But he had done all of those things and more. My soul felt revived for having known him, even if just for a short while.

Parking my car, I had to put all of these thoughts out of my head. It was time for my shift. After that, I could talk it all out with Ro.

I punched in and got out on the floor, beginning to take orders. Most of the guys today were regulars, so I pretty much could do their orders without even asking them what they wanted. Creatures of habit.

“That sure is a big diamond ring you have on, Lindy,” said Jimmy.

“Thank you.”

“When did this happen and if you were available, how come I didn’t know? I would have liked to have put my bid in for your hand.”

“Jimmy, we’ve gone over this before,” I said shaking my head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“That may be, but I know a fine woman when I see her, even if she is half my age,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ll have my usual.”

“Coming right up, Jimmy.”

I seemed to have some sort of instant replay button because I relived the same conversation at almost every table. The guys were funny. They all appeared to be put off that I had agreed to marry someone else and not them. In a weird way, it made me feel appreciated.

My shift went by quickly and I had the rest of the evening to spend with Ro. I had texted her to come over to my place and bring Chinese food. Waiting all day to talk to her had been awful.

I got home about thirty minutes before she was due to come over. A shower was a must after working in a greasy spoon all day. We’d been busy which had kept me from thinking too much. But that all changed when I got into the shower. The water cascading over my body brought me right back to Maui and showering with Trace. Closing my eyes, I could feel his hands washing my body, his fingers finding their way between my thighs, caressing me in the most intimate way. Thoughts of him elevated my heart rate, making me gush on the inside. I still wanted him even though I’d just been a distraction to
him
. I had a feeling I would always have a special place in my heart for Trace. He was the first man I had been close to since I lost Dane. In a way, he had brought me back to life and I was grateful for that even if I didn’t get to spend that life with him. Part of me wished I’d had the courage to stay and hear him out in Maui instead of running away. But I didn’t and now I was going to stick with the decision I’d made.

I was out of the shower and getting ready when Ro walked in. She had bags in her hands from the local Chinese restaurant.

“It smells so good,” I said as she placed the bags on the table.

“I know, I’m starved.”

I handed her a plate and we began opening containers, scooping out rice, beef and broccoli, sweet and sour shrimp, and egg rolls. Ro always got egg rolls. I think they were her favorite part besides the fortune cookies.

“So, how was your day?” she asked, her look somewhat concerned.

“It was fine. A lot of the regulars took notice of my ring.”

“I bet they did. How are you feeling about having that ring on your finger?” Her face had become a little more serious. She took my hand in hers, inspecting it.

Ro always knew how to get to the heart of the matter. “I’m a little unsure. I have to admit, I’ve been thinking about Trace…a lot.”

“It’s only normal that you would think about him. In so many ways, he breathed life back into you. He made you feel things you forgot existed.”

“Maybe that was his purpose. I’ve been trying to figure out why we met.”

“Has he stopped calling and texting you?”

“Yes, it’s been a few days. Part of me wants to call him, but I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever’s going on in his life.”

“So, let me make sure I understand. You’ve accepted Randy’s proposal, but you are still thinking about Trace.”

I hung my head. “Yes,” I whispered.

“Are your feelings for Randy anywhere near as intense as your feelings for Trace? You thought you loved him.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I found passion with Trace that I hadn’t felt since… Randy and I have kissed, but it didn’t feel the same.”

“I see. So, you think the reason you met Trace was to what, help you get to a place where you can open your heart to a man again?”

“Something like that. I’m not entirely sure.”

“Lindy, why did you really run? Not the excuse you gave me about him being on the rebound. The real reason.”

I moved the food around my plate, contemplating Ro’s question. “I was scared of the feelings I was having for him,” I said, working at keeping my voice even. On the inside, I was shaking. “He got under my skin and it freaked me out. I realized he had the power to hurt me.”

“Lindy, that’s love. When you love someone, they have a lot of power in your life. But if it’s the right person, their power makes you better…stronger. Their love is a miracle. Like what you had with Dane.”

“Dane was special. What we had was special.”

“Do you think if you found something like what you had with Dane you would be tarnishing his memory?”

I stared blankly at my best friend. How did she do that? She knew me too well. “Ro, what I felt for Trace, words can’t adequately describe. Up until the phone call from the front desk, it was like no one else in the world existed except us. Being with him filled the empty hole in my heart Dane had left behind.”

“I see. So it was that powerful.”

“It was.”

“And you’re willing to give that up?”

“What do you mean?” Ro had lost me with that question. I didn’t have it anymore. I’d already given it up.

“You don’t want that kind of love in your life?”

“Well, of course I do.”

“But, you let him go. You let that love go. And now you’re engaged to a man you don’t love.”

“I could learn to love Randy. He’s a good man and he loves me.”

“I agree. You could, but you’re already in love with Trace. Doesn’t Randy deserve better than
you could learn to love him
?”

Ro’s words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Well, don’t you think Randy wants you to love him the way you have described your feelings for Trace? Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“Yes, I would imagine it is. I’m sure he wants me to love him as much as he loves me. But I’m not there yet.”

“What if you don’t get there? Do you want to spend your life surviving it or do you want to live it with passion?”

“Survival or passion. Are those my only two choices?”

“Of course not. You could fall madly in love with Randy. That is a possibility.” Ro had her eyebrows raised and her head tilted. I knew that look. It was the who-are-you-trying-to-convince-here look.

“But you think it’s a slim possibility.”

“Well, you’ve known him for years. He’s been here for you since Dane died, yet you never saw him. You’ve never looked at him as a man you could
be
with. Only as a friend. But, you saw Trace in Maui and you gave him your heart.”

“My time in Maui with Trace was incredibly sexy and romantic, but it wasn’t everyday life.”

“That’s true, but could you see yourself doing everyday life with Trace?”

She had me again. “Yes, I could. But I can also see it with Randy. Safe, predictable Randy.” I didn’t have to be afraid of being hurt by Randy. But if I never loved him like he deserved, would I be hurting him?