The One You Love (19 page)

‘Sounds good,’ Emma said.

‘You can make it then?’

‘Yeah, sure, wouldn’t miss it for anything.’

‘Fantastic. You know, this is just the beginning, Emma. The money is just the half of it. Soon you’ll be walking down the red carpet at the London premiere, mixing with the stars. This is the big time. You’ve got your big chance, and I’ve got my perfect leading lady. We should really be drinking champagne.’

‘I was wondering,’ Emma said, ‘when you first contacted me you said someone had recommended you to me. Who was it?’

‘Can’t say,’ he said, making an apologetic face.

‘Why?’

‘They asked me to keep their name secret.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘It’s not that unusual. I have a lot of contacts who I work with, and sometimes they just like their anonymity. It’s nothing to get too hung up about. If it’s about thanking him, then I’ll pass it on for you.’

‘So it’s a him, then?’

‘Yes,’ he admitted, rather sheepishly. ‘But honestly, I can’t say any more.’

‘I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want me to know who he is.’

‘Please, Emma, it’s really not that big a deal.’

‘I want to know,’ she said. ‘Otherwise I’m afraid I can’t take the part in the film.’

Guy looked stunned at the threat. ‘Emma. You’re blowing this out of all proportion.’

‘Then you won’t tell me?’

‘I’m sorry.’ He held up his hands. ‘I promised.’

Emma stood up. ‘Then I’ll be going.’

***

Emma closed the door behind her and walked down towards the gate. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. She’d thrown away possibly the one and only big chance that she had to really make it as an actress.

And what for? For a stupid matter of principle. What did it matter, really, that the person who was kind enough to recommend her for the part wanted to remain anonymous. They must have had their reasons. But added on to all those other secrets of the past week, it was the final straw. Why did everyone have to be so secretive?

She had just reached the tube when her phone rang.

‘I’ll give you one thing, Emma,’ Guy said. ‘You’re certainly strong-willed.’

‘I’m sorry, Guy. I know it sounds silly, but…’

‘It’s okay. I admire your guts. So you’re really prepared to lose this great chance over this?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay then, I’ll tell you, if that’s the only way I can get you in this film. It was your ex-boyfriend, Stuart Harris.’

32

‘I don’t think it’s a good idea,’ Lizzy said. ‘You might end up getting hurt again. You know what he did to you last time.’

‘But that was years ago. A lot of things have happened since then.’

‘Why would you even want to see him again?’ Lizzy questioned. ‘He just dumped you without any explanation. Why invite him back into your life like that?’

‘I know what you mean, Lizzy, and I do agree with what you’re saying…’

‘I sense a big “but” here.’

‘Well, it’s just that he’s the one who has invited himself back into my life. He’s the one who recommended me to Guy Roberts. I just want to find out why he did it.’

‘You want to thank him?’

‘No,’ Emma replied. ‘But I can’t just leave it like that, knowing that he went a long way to getting me that dream job, but not really knowing why.’

‘You think he’s got an ulterior motive?’ Suddenly Lizzy looked more interested herself. ‘You don’t think he might want to get back with you?’

‘I’m sure that’s not the reason. If he wanted that, he wouldn’t have made Guy Roberts promise not to tell me he had been involved.’

‘You wouldn’t be interested in getting back with him though, would you?’

‘No way. He really hurt me – there’s no way.’

‘Did you still love him when he left?’

‘Yes,’ Emma admitted. ‘But I don’t now.’

Lizzy blew out her cheeks. ‘Well, I still don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I think you should just steer well clear of the guy. Just get on with this great film opportunity. You can’t be in the right mental state to go meeting ex-boyfriends.’

‘Maybe it’s just what I do need.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I never got an explanation of why Stuart left me. Okay, I assume it was because he couldn’t settle in London, and that maybe he was jealous I was finding work when he couldn’t. But I never found out for sure. He didn’t tell me where he was going, and I never called him. So I was just dumped, without knowing what went wrong. And now it’s happened again, with Dan. I thought we were in love, and then he just disappears. I know it’s more complicated, with Richard, but essentially the same thing has happened to me again. I’m not able to ask Dan why he left, but now I’ve got a chance to ask Stuart.’

‘But Em, Stuart isn’t Dan,’ Lizzy counselled. ‘You’re not going to find out why Dan left by talking to Stuart.’

‘I know, but, maybe he could tell me something.’

‘Come here,’ Lizzy said, putting her arms around Emma. ‘You’re a wonderful person, Em. Don’t you dare start thinking that this is your fault. I won’t let you.’

‘I’m sorry, Lizzy.’ Emma spoke into her shoulder. ‘I have to meet with him. I can’t take this part until I do – it wouldn’t feel right. I promise I won’t start raking over old ground.’

Lizzy squeezed her tightly. ‘Whatever you do, Em, I’ll support you one hundred percent.’

***

The next day Emma took an early-morning tube, resting her head against the window and stifling yawns. It had been a restless night, her mind buzzing with thoughts of whether she should meet Stuart. Would it be a potential disaster? After all, Lizzy was right; she wasn’t in the best frame of mind for meeting ex-partners. And it seemed especially unwise under the circumstances to meet someone with whom she had invested so much love in the past. She would have given the same advice as Lizzy if she had been in her position: steer clear. But she would also have offered her the same support her good friend had offered her, irrespective of what she decided.

Guy Roberts had reluctantly given her Stuart’s telephone number and home address. He was living just south of the river. Emma thought it ironic that the man who she thought had hated London so much had chosen to stay in the capital after their break-up. Maybe there had been something else wrong in their relationship.

She was surprised when she reached the address. She hadn’t really known what to expect, but this stained concrete tower block certainly wasn’t it. It was the kind of place that, under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have dreamt of going into. She hadn’t asked Guy what Stuart was doing these days, but it couldn’t have been that much if this was the best he could get.

She pressed the buzzer for his flat and waited. She had decided not to call him, and instead just turn up. If he was in, fine; if not, then maybe that would be a sign that she should leave well alone.

‘Hello?’ a voice said, unmistakably Stuart’s. It brought the memories flooding back, although they felt somehow distant, as if she was remembering someone else’s life, or was watching it up on the big screen.

‘Hi, Stuart,’ she said, her voice cracking with nerves.

There was silence.

‘Sally, is that you?’ he said.

‘It’s Emma,’ she said, thinking that Sally was probably his current girlfriend. ‘Emma Holden.’

More silence.

‘I’ll be straight down,’ he said.

33

‘It’s just a temporary place,’ he said, gesturing towards the tower block. ‘Mostly it’s student accommodation, but it’ll do for now.’

Emma took in the sight of Stuart Harris. He had changed quite a bit in the years since she had last seen him. He’d lost some weight, and cut his hair short. He was still, however, essentially the man she had first fallen in love with. She felt both guilty and weak in the knowledge that her heart was fluttering and she was still very much attracted to him, even after all that he had done.

‘It looks okay,’ she said, participating in the idle chatter while wondering where Stuart planned to take her.

‘I’m hoping to move soon,’ he said. ‘It can get a bit noisy. You know what students are like.’

He smiled nervously as he met Emma’s gaze.

‘Err, I thought we could go to the café down the road,’ he suggested, looking away. ‘They do a good breakfast, and I haven’t eaten yet.’

‘Sounds okay,’ Emma said.

***

It was weird sitting across from Stuart in the café: like stepping back in time. Emma watched as he sipped at his coffee and then dived into the greasy full English breakfast that had just arrived. Emma glanced around. It wasn’t the type of place Stuart ever used to visit. He’d always liked to eat out at expensive places, but this was pretty rundown. The chairs and tables were made out of brown moulded plastic, bolted to the floor. And wire mesh covered the window, indicating that this was probably an area that required some protection against glass breakages. The café smelled strongly of fried food. And the place was virtually empty, apart from a rather scruffy looking guy who was reading the paper in the far corner. Emma diverted her attention as the guy looked up from the newspaper.

‘Sure you don’t want some toast?’ Stuart also looked up.

‘I’m fine.’

He nodded and went back to eating. Emma watched him, feeling frustrated at the lack of conversation. She didn’t want to just sit there as if everything was okay; she wanted to talk, about a lot of things.

‘You haven’t asked why I came to see you,’ she ventured. ‘Or how I knew where you live.’

‘Guy told you,’ replied Stuart, chomping on a mouthful of food before washing it down with a swig of coffee. ‘He called me last night.’

‘So you were expecting me?’

He shrugged. ‘I wondered whether you would come. Although I wasn’t sure.’

‘How do you know Guy?’

‘I met him through a friend, at a party. We got talking and have kept in touch on and off ever since. That was about two years ago. He’s a great bloke. Not like some of the people in this industry.’

‘This industry?’

‘The movies. There are some real bastards out there. It’s hard to know who to trust sometimes. But Guy’s different.’

‘You recommended me for the part in the movie,’ Emma stated.

Stuart nodded, before taking another mouthful of food.

‘Why?’

He paused for a moment until he swallowed the food. ‘Because I thought you’d be perfect for the part.’

‘Oh, come on,’ Emma said, trying to rein in her anger. ‘You haven’t seen me for years, Stuart. How could you possibly know whether I’d be any good for that part? I could have given up acting for all you know. I could be working on the checkout at Marks and Spencer’s.’

‘I knew you were still acting,’ Stuart said. ‘And I knew you were good; even better than you used to be.’

‘How?’

‘I’ve been to see several of your shows,’ he admitted, mopping up the last of his breakfast with the remaining piece of bread.

‘Why?’ she said, taking in the revelation. ‘Why would you do that?’

He put down his knife and fork. ‘Because I care about you, Em. I was interested to see how everything was going in your life.’

‘You walked out on me. You never called, didn’t leave a forwarding address, never said goodbye. It’s not exactly something I’d do to someone I cared about.’

Stuart smiled tightly and dabbed his mouth with the napkin.

‘I deserve that,’ he said, folding the napkin and placing it across his plate, just as he always used to.

***

‘Is Sally your girlfriend?’ asked Emma, sitting next to Stuart, as they looked across the park. She had meant to leave straight after the meal, but part of her wanted to stay and talk with Stuart. So when he had suggested taking a walk, she found herself accepting.

‘Sally, yes,’ he said, looking somewhat uncomfortable. ‘Although I’m not sure it’s really that serious. How about you? Are you in a relationship?’

Emma told him everything.

‘My God,’ he said, as she finished the tale. ‘I’m so sorry, Em.’

Emma shrugged. ‘Lizzy’s been a great help. It’s made it much easier. I think I’d have completely lost it without her support.’

‘She sounds like a great friend. Those are the types of friends that don’t come around too often.’

‘She’s great,’ Emma said. ‘A total star.’

‘Make sure you hang onto her.’

‘Don’t worry,’ she replied.
‘I intend to.’

***