The One Left Behind (The One Series) (25 page)

Our breathing becomes frantic and matches our rhythm. Pierce pulls his lips away from my neck. “This feels amazing. God, I love you.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but I melt even more. This isn’t the first time he’s told me, but this time had the biggest impact. The sheer emotion behind his words do me in and I let go. Pierce places small kisses on my lips, letting me ride out the wave. I open my eyes and cup his face. “I love you too.” I kiss him like he’s the oxygen that I need to breathe until he finds his own release.

“That was one of the most perfect moments in my life.” Pierce says as he rolls me to my side and pulls me into his arms.

“Mine too.”

“Let’s get some rest. You’ll need it for tomorrow.” I have a feeling I know exactly what I’ll need my energy for, and I can’t wait.

IT’S 4:00 A.M. and I can’t sleep. I think I’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours now. I don’t know what my problem is. Actually, I do; it’s Addison. She’s changed a lot in the few months we’ve been apart. I can only attribute that to Pierce’s influence since she’s seeing so much of him. I keep trying to reassure myself that they’re just friends and she needs someone to vent to. But as I’m lying here, that sounds like a lie even to my ears.

I decide I can’t stand laying here anymore and am going to go for a drive to help clear my thoughts until I go run this morning. I’m trying to get back on the straight and narrow and attempt to cut out drinking as a way to solve my problems. I didn’t get drunk after I heard about her skydiving adventure. I know Jeremy was worried, and to be honest, I wanted to. But I knew I’d just feel like shit and the same shitty feelings would be there when I woke up in the morning.

I’m driving around aimlessly with nowhere in particular to go. I’ve been out for about thirty minutes and decide to head back to my house so I can go for an early morning run. I feel marginally better. I’m tired from lack of sleep, but I’m not as wound up. That is until I drive past Addison’s condo.

I have to look twice to make sure I am seeing this correctly. I pull over to the curb, and sure enough, there’s an Aston Martin in the fucking driveway. I only know one person who has that car, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same person that Addison knows.

Pierce motherfucking Whitmore.

What in the hell is he doing at her house at 4:30 in the fucking morning?! Then it dawns on me and I have the strongest urge to either throw up or use my spare key, bust into her room, and beat him to a bloody fucking pulp. I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard I’m afraid it’ll bend beneath the pressure of my fingers. I have to get out of here before I do something really stupid.

I slam on the gas and race home. Once I walk through the door, I put my hands in my hair and grip it as I pace back and forth. How could she? She knows what she means to me; what we meant to each other. How could she have sex with another guy? Did she not care to try to wait for her memory to come back? I’ve been waiting for her patiently all while she’s out fucking another guy behind my back! This feels like the lowest form of betrayal and I don’t know how I’ll ever recover from this. I don’t know how I’ll be able to look at her without feeling disgusted.

I throw on some jogging shorts and my running shoes and head out. I’m doing everything possible to calm myself down. I plan to keep running until I don’t have the urge to kill Pierce anymore. I run and run and run and run. I run until I feel like my legs are going to fall off and my lungs and heart are going to explode. Then I run some more. By the time I get back to my house, I’m seconds away from dry heaving. I’ve never ran like that before and I think I might die. But, while I’m focused on trying to get oxygen circulating to my body, I’m not really thinking about Addison. So I guess the running helped. I get in the shower and prepare for the rest of my day which will be uneventful.

***

The next morning I get up and go for my run. I don’t push as hard as I did yesterday since I just about went into cardiac arrest. Not looking to repeat that one again. I get back and see my phone blinking with a missed message. I open it up and my heart stops. It’s a text from Addison.

Addison: Hey, how’s it going?

Is she fucking for real? How can she be so casual knowing what she’s been doing?

Me: I’ve been better.

Addison: I’m sorry to hear that. Look, I was wondering if we could meet up and talk. There’s something I need to talk to you about.

Is she wanting to meet to tell me she’s fucking Pierce? No thanks, I’d rather not have the confirmation. I don’t know what will come out of my mouth if she says something like that to me. And why would she think I’d want to know that?

Me: Okay? I’m kind of busy, so you’ll have to meet me at my house.

I will never set foot back in that condo of hers again. It’s tainted now. A disgusting reminder of what she was doing while I was waiting and pining over her.

Addison: That works. What time is best for you?

Me: Whenever, as long as it doesn’t take long.

I know I’m coming off as a dick and she’s probably picking up on it, but I don’t give a fuck. If I’m having to deal with the fact that she’s fucking another guy, then she can deal with the fact that I’m going to be a prick about it.

Addison: Okay. I’ll be there in an hour then.

Oh God. How am I going to face her? I’m not prepared for this. I pace around my house for an hour, but it seems like a life time. It’s almost like I’m sitting on death row waiting for the prison guards to take me to the gas chamber. Finally, or maybe unfortunately, I hear a light knock on the door.

I open it and I can’t hide the scowl on my face. I feel like she even looks different, like somehow fucking Pierce has changed her physically. I know that’s ridiculous and she doesn’t, but I can’t get the thought of her and Pierce out of my head. It’s literally driving me insane. I think she can see the venom in my eyes because she freezes before she says her greeting. I don’t say a word. I just step aside and wave her in. She goes over to the couch and has a seat. I sit on the far end of it. I can’t even stand to be close to her and that thought is very unsettling. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look past this. She’s the one that breaks the silence first.

“Thanks for meeting me. I just needed to clear the air a little with you so this won’t take long.” I nod my head in understanding, not removing the scowl from my face, and she takes that as a signal to continue. “I know about your feelings and that our situation is not ideal, however, I wanted to be honest with you about everything. So, as you know, Pierce and I have been hanging out a lot lately.”

Fucking hell. She’s going to say it. She’s going to stab me in the heart intentionally. I’ve got to cut her off if I have any hope of self-preservation.

“You’re fucking him,” I blurt out with an expressionless look on my face. I feel my eyes going blank of emotion as I attempt to look through her, but the stunned expression on her face is proof enough that my suspicions were valid. He wasn’t over there early the other morning sleeping on the couch.

“Excuse me?” she says quietly.

“I saw his car outside your condo at 4:30 yesterday morning. I doubt he was there to cook you breakfast.” My face is no longer a void and I feel my cheeks becoming flushed and the anger spewing from my eyes. My words are dripping with revulsion and I hope she catches every bit of it because in this moment, I hate her.

“I hardly think that is any of your business. I don’t—“

I don’t let her finish because I have reached my limit and my rage finally boils over after holding it in for so long. I stand up with my fists clenched by my side and my torso leaned forward toward her, “ARE. YOU. FUCKING. HIM?!” I scream at her. She flinches at my words but I don’t care. She’s a heartless bitch.

“Colin, I didn’t come here to discuss my sex life. I wanted to tell you that I really like Pierce and that we are dating exclusively. But, if you really want to know, yes, I did have sex with him. Does that make you happy?” She’s getting mad now too. Good. I want her pissed. No, I want her to hurt like I’m hurting. To accomplish this, I throw out every nasty thing I can think of at her.

“You are a selfish bitch. Do you have any idea what this is like for me? I’m waiting patiently for you, hoping that your memory comes back and we can get back to our life. And what are you doing? You’re out spreading your legs for the first guy that comes along. How could you do this? Are you that thoughtless and inconsiderate to those around you? Or are you that much of a whore that you couldn’t help yourself? You just needed that itch scratched, is that it? Because if that’s what it boils down to, I could be that guy for you. I wouldn’t mind a meaningless fuck with you right about now.” At that moment she slaps me across the face. I probably deserved it, but the sting on my cheek pales in comparison to the crushing pain of my heart.

I look at her and I can see the hurt in her eyes and that makes me feel like shit, but not enough for me to take it back. I wanted to hurt her and I did. I’m so fucked up. I look down at the floor to stop myself from throwing anymore hateful words her way. I’m breathing deeply in and out of my nose waiting for the anger to pass.

I feel the cushion dip down beside me as she slides closer. I squeeze my eyes shut and grab a fistful of the cushion beside me. She puts her arm over my shoulder to comfort me, probably sensing I’m on the verge of breaking. That just makes me feel worse. How can she show compassion when I verbally attacked her like that?

Finally, I look up at her and stare into her eyes. The look on her face nearly kills me. It’s so full of sadness and hurt and I know I put that look there. In that moment, instincts take over to remove those emotions from her face. I need to make this better and there’s only one way I know how. I don’t give it much thought, I just go for it.

I cup her jaw with both hands and kiss her. It’s an urgent kiss, but I urgently need to be close to her. What I don’t anticipate is that she’ll kiss me back, but she does. That just encourages me and I deepen the kiss and pull her to me by the small of her back. She’s clutching my shirt and pulling me toward her. I want this so bad, but I know I can’t. She’s clearly with Pierce and I don’t want this from her out of pity. I push her back roughly. I see the confusion written all over her face in the way her eyebrows are furrowed and her lips are parted. Trust me, I’m confused too.

“I don’t want your pity, and I certainly don’t want you after someone else just had you not even 12 hours ago. You need to leave.”

“Colin, I’m—”

“Get. Out.” I say this in a very low tone that lets her know I’m not kidding. I really need her to get out before she fucks with my mind more. She grabs her things and heads out without looking back. I’m fuming right now and grab the first thing I can which is a picture frame on the side table. I throw it at the door as hard as I can. The glass shatters and the frame bends. I look at the picture inside and it’s of me and Addison. How fitting.

I go to my bedroom, close the door and collapse on my bed. And, because I’m a glutton for punishment, I think about the first time we made love.

Addison and I have been dating for a little over a month. I can tell we’re both ready to take the next step physically. We’ve been getting close to going all the way, but one of us always pulls back before it goes too far. She’s special and amazing so I want our first time together to be special and amazing for her too.

We’re sitting on my couch watching movies. After the movie is over I say, “Babe, why don’t you go take a nice long bubble bath and relax. I know work has you stressed lately. It’ll be nice for you to unwind. I’ll even bring you a glass of wine while you’re in there.”

“Mmmm, that sounds great. Give me about five minutes and you can bring me my wine.” She gives me a kiss on the cheek and heads to the bathroom. Five minutes later I bring in her glass of wine. She’s already covered up to her neck in water and bubbles. She looks so sexy and I have a strong urge to join her. Later, I tell myself. Right now I have some setting up to do.

“I’m going to shut this door so you can have absolute quiet. Shout at me if you need anything, okay?” She nods and I give her a nice long kiss on the lips.

I walk out, close the door, and set my plan into motion. I sprinkle rose petals from the bathroom door to the bed. Then I sprinkle more on the bed. I go to the fridge and pull out a box of chocolate covered strawberries that I bought earlier today and set them on the nightstand by the bed. I pour two glasses of champagne and set them next to the strawberries. I light a bunch of candles and set them up all over the room. I’m pretty sure I’m creating a fire hazard, but I don’t care because it looks gorgeous. And I know she’ll look gorgeous in this lighting and hopefully she’ll love it. Lastly, I make sure I have a few condoms stashed away in the drawer.

I sit in the chair in the corner of my bedroom and wait for her to finish. The anticipation is building and I’m about to lose my mind I want her so bad right now. Especially since I know she is naked on the other side of the door. After what seems like an eternity, the bathroom door opens. She’s standing there with her hair pulled up with a few loose pieces hanging down and a towel wrapped around her body. The mere sight of her in nothing but a towel is enough to make me have to adjust myself.