The One For Me (19 page)

My phone buzzes and I dig it out of my pocket. My heart is racing, I half way expect to see Jen or Liam’s name on the screen, when Mom’s name pops up it disappoints me. “Hey, Mom,” I say, clearing my throat.

“You make it okay?” she asks.

“Yes, we did.”

“What’s wrong?”

I almost tell her. But I figure she has hurt enough. “Just tired. I’m going to take a nap, I think.”

“Okay, baby, just call me if you need…anything.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, babe.” I hang up the phone and shove it in my jeans pocket. I hear Dad’s shower running, so I walk out the sliding doors to the back porch. There are a few people walking down the beach, some holding hands others running. Sighing, I walk down, slipping out of my shoes. I wade through the cool sand and flop down on my back in a random spot. My body is gritty from the sand and my hair is tangled against it. I don’t care.

I close my eyes and picture my life before. My perfect life. My life where someone loved me, where everyone in my life loved me. It made so much more sense. It helped me through each day. Now, everything is gone to hell in a hand basket.

I grip the sand between my fingers. Liam’s face, pouring sand on my hair runs through my mind. He was so easy to give up on me, to not forgive me. It burns so much. How can he hate me so much? I apologized…my mind slowed down. I apologized just like my dad did to me and my mom. My mom seems to have forgiven my dad, easily, they separated but they’re nice to one another. Jen’s face when she told me I was self-centered and ungrateful was so...honest. Jen has always been honest with me.

Who am I to judge Liam for not forgiving me when I won’t forgive my dad? My stomach starts to hurt and I sit up. I look toward my dad’s beach house. My dad still loves me; I’ve known he still does. He still loves my mom, but he messed up. He fell out of love with her like Hayden did me. They will both move on with their lives. They will both find new people. They will both continue to love me like they always have.

I stand up in the sand and wipe my jeans off. I look back at the beach so peaceful. No wonder Liam spends all his time here relaxing and thinking. The beach brings out the good thoughts in everyone it seems like.

Dad is still in the shower when I get back to the house. I figure he is wallowing in his self pity, like me. That is probably where I got it from. I walk to the kitchen and start pulling out food. I can make dinner. I think.

When Dad walks out, I have the hamburger meat frying. “What are you doing, Katy?” he asks, drying off his wet hair.

“Making dinner,” I say matter of fact. “Are you not hungry?”

He blinks twice. “Um, yeah, but…never mind,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m not complaining about someone cooking.”

He comes around and sits at the bar, staring at me. I know he wants to ask something but doesn’t know how to ask it.

“Look Dad,” I turn toward him, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to get so out of hand. I just…this sucks ya know? I’m used to coming home and seeing my dad every day. I’m used to having the normal parents, the normal family. The family that isn’t divorced. Now, I’m…Katy that has no boyfriend. Katy that doesn’t have any friends…Katy that doesn’t have two parents. It seems nothing is right anymore. Nothing makes any sense. It sucks. It sucks big time. I shouldn’t have said what I did to Beth. But, it felt so good, that I didn’t care. I’m sorry for that.” I bite my lip and look my dad in the eye. H
e is staring seriously at me.
“You’re no
t
the only one that done something because it felt good, Katy. That’s why we’re in this mess right now. Because I done something that felt right at the time. It was wrong and I regret it. But, your mom and I wouldn’t have worked anyway. We haven’t been in love for a long time now. I hate that we put you through this. I hate that you’ve suffered this way…but I can tell you right now that everything is really going to be okay. No matter how bad life gets either one of us down. It’s going to be okay.”

Dad leans on his hands and stares at me, while I pour the Hamburger Helper mix into the pan. It’s the only thing I know how to cook well. For the first time in a while, I smile at my dad and mean it. Because, this time. I know everything really is going to be okay.

Chapter Twelve

The week went better than planned. I spent most of my time on the beach, lying on the sand watching the waves and relaxing. It was calming. Dad took me out to different places to eat; we went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum, and shopping.

H
e bought me a few things. I think it’s just because of the situation; he isn’t normally that big of a shopper. Or a money spender for that matter.

“You ready?” Dad asks, standing in my doorway. I zip up my suitcase and nod.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I laugh. “I didn’t think I would be saying this, but I’m kind of bummed that I’m not staying. It was fun, I can’t wait to come back.”

Dad smiles. “You only have a few months to graduation, you could think about coming to college down here? Visiting during the holidays. Take another break after graduation and spend the summer here.”

That sounds great, actually
. “Yeah, I’ll definitely have to look into doing that.”

Dad walks toward me, and then wraps me in a hug. It feels like it used to, before the separation.
It is the same.
“You just needed a break. You feel better, right?”

I nod into his shoulder, smelling his Ralph Lauren cologne. “I do.” A little. “I feel better, Dad.”

“That a girl.” He pulls back. “Let’s get going, we don’t want to miss your flight.” He grabs my suitcase and I follow him to his SUV. We ride listening to music and signing on the way to the airport. Dad has the windows rolled down and is tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
I will miss this. I’ll miss my dad
. He looks over at me, smiling
. He is a great Dad. He just made a mistake.

I blush remembering what I said to Beth. “Will you tell Beth I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He smiles. “I really don’t talk to her. I won’t see her anymore, but if I do I’ll let her know for you.”

“She
is
the one that you…
um, ya know with, right?
”

“Yes,” Dad says.

“And you don’t talk to her?” I ask.

“No. Your mom walked in during the only time I’ve ever kissed another woman. But, it’s the fact that I let myself do it”

I bite my lip and twirl my fingers around a piece of string on my jeans. “I know you’re sorry and I forgive you,” I say. “Is that okay to say? I kn
ow you didn’t cheat on me but…
“I did. I did cheat on you, you’re my daughter and I cheated on my family. It’s a terrible thing I done and I’m glad you have forgiven me.”

“Mom has, too,” I say.

“I know. I’ll always appreciate her forgiveness, because I didn’t deserve it.”

“Everyone makes mistakes,” I say. 
I just wish Liam would forgive mine. He forgave his mom for leaving him. Why not me?

Dad pulls up to the airport and helps me get my baggage through the system. I stand by the door and look up at my dad. He smiles down at me, running his finger through my hair. “I’ll miss you, Katy bug.”

I hold back a sob. “I’ll miss you, too, Daddy.” I squeeze him into a hug and stand there holding my dad like I’m five years old until they call over the intercom that our plan is going to leave soon.

“Better get going, I’ll see you soon. Call me when you land, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I whisper. I grab my carryon and walk into the terminal.

I fall asleep
on the plane. I can never stay awake on those things. It’s terrible. When I wake up a little kid is staring at me. “That girl is drooling, Momma.”

“Shhh,” her mother says, pushing him along and giving me an
I’m sorry
look. I groan and wipe the drool off my mouth.

“Great, “I mumble. I just hope I don’t look half as bad as I feel. I exit the plane, get my suitcase. My phone vibrates. “Hey, Mom,” I answer.

“Where are you?” she asks.

“By the bathrooms.”

“Be there in a second,” she says, hanging up. I lean against the wall and close my eyes. I really need a nap.

“Sweetie,” my mom yells. I look up and over at my mom. I stop. Jen is walking beside her. A huge smile on her face.

I grin ear to ear and run toward them. Jen wraps her arms around me. “Your mom let you out of the house,” I ask. She squeezes me tight. I know I’ve only been gone a few days, but it feel so good to talk to Jen.

“Your mom talked her into it,” she says. She pulls back and furrows her brow. “I’m sorry, Katy. I shouldn’t have said--,”

“No,” I stop her. “You were right. I was being selfish and overly dramatic. I’m sorry I was acting like that. I have a great life,” I say.

Mom sniffles and I look up at her. “No waterworks,” I say and hug her. She hugs me back, tightly.

“Well,” she says. “Let’s get home. You want to have a
Glee
marathon or
The Vampire Diaries.”

“That is the hardest question you’ve ever asked me,” I say. I stroke my chin. “Damon or Sam?”

“What the hell, Sam!”  I yell.

We all laugh and walk toward the Exit.

We spend the
rest of the night piled up in the living room, eating chocolate, watching and singing along to
Glee.
When Jen’s mom calls for the fiftieth time, she finally leaves. “I’m so glad we’re talking again,” she says at the door. “I thought I was going to explode.”

“Me, too.”

“So, nothing from Liam?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Nope, haven’t talked to him since I took his Mom to his house. And only then for a quick second.” I shrug my shoulders and fight back the urge to scream. “It will be, okay.”

She nods. Her phone starts ringing. “Ugh, my mom. I have to go. See ya at school.” She gives me a quick hug before she walks off yelling at her mother in Chinese.

I shut the door behind her and glance at my mom. “Ready to watch some more Sam?”

I nod. “Always ready for that,” I say, before plopping down beside her.

Chapter Thirteen

My hands are shaking when I walk into the hallway Friday morning. I’m a little tired from staying up and watching
Glee
reruns all night long with my mom. But, I’m so nervous it outweighs my lack of sleep. Not to mention I could barely eat any of my breakfast.

Jen is waiting for me by my locker when I walk up. “Hey, darling. Brought you a coffee,” she says, handing me a cup of goodness. “I figured with your lack of self-control you stayed up late watching
Glee
.”

“You’re right, I sure did. It was awesome.”

She smiles and it falters when she looks over my shoulder. “You need something?” she asks.

I glance back and stop short. “Brian?” I ask.

“What’s up, Katy? I’ve been looking for you all week long. Where ya been?” he asks, grabbing my shoulder and hugging me.

“I’ve been in Florida with my dad, he just moved. The better question is what in the hell are you doing here?”

He laughs. “Mom and I moved here. She wanted to be closer to Liam.”

Jen coughs, causing me to smile. “Oh,” I gesture toward Jen, “Brian this is my best friend Jen. Jen this is Liam’s brother Brian.”