“It’s drugs,” Starling said in a clipped voice.
“Are you a drug addict like your mother?”
“Carey wasn’t a drug addict.” Starling dropped her piercing gaze to the table. “Well, she was … but not like that. She wasn’t a bad person.”
Harper sat down across from Starling and, reaching out, took the teenager’s hands. “If you are addicted to something we can get you the help you need to get over this. You just need to tell us the truth. We’re here for you.”
“I’m not a drug addict.” Starling looked up to Harper. “Well, I guess I am, but I can’t live with this.”
“Live with what?” Harper said softly.
“I’ve been trying to ration my medicine. This was my last brick — I need it to last.” Starling ran her finger along the end of the plastic square. “I can’t control anything. I thought maybe I could get some more, but I can’t … There’s no hope. I can’t live without my supply.”
Was that what had been going on? His daughter had been going through detox? Was that why she had been so quiet, and so mercurial?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chance stopped. Of course she wouldn’t have told him, he who was barely above a stranger, that she had been addicted to drugs. He could hardly blame her. If she had told him this when she’d first stepped into his life, it was hard to say how he would have reacted, but there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he wouldn’t have been standing in front of her. A sense of shame crept up his spine. He wasn’t cut out for this whole
dad
thing. Starling deserved better. She deserved to have a father who could do better, be better.
“I never told anyone,” Starling started. “Only Carey and Jenna knew about my condition … you know … connecting with spirits.”
“Is that why you are doing drugs? So you can escape from your ability?” Harper asked.
“What?” Starling looked confused. “What are you talking about?” She paused for a second and stared down at the drugs in her hands. “Do you think this is like crack or something?”
Harper’s cheeks took on a pink hue. “Uh, well … Isn’t it?”
“No.” Starling snorted. “My mother would’ve had a fit if she thought I was on those kinds of things.”
Some of Chance’s anger withered away. Was it possible Carey wasn’t as bad as he had assumed?
“So what is this stuff?” He poked the package, sliding it a little closer to Starling.
“It’s an anti-psychotic medication.”
Chance had to stop his jaw from dropping. “What? Uh … ” He didn’t know how to respond. He wanted her to know he would always be there for her. He also didn’t want her to think he felt sorry for her.
“What kind of anti-psychotic med? Is it one of the old ones or one of the new atypical drugs?” Harper asked.
“What? What’s an atypical?” Chance felt like the last one to the party.
“Atypicals are a newer class of anti-psychotics. They don’t have as many side effects as the older meds,” Harper answered without so much as a blink of the eye.
The teen nodded, seeming to completely follow what Harper was saying, though Chance had no idea. “It’s an older med. They started making it about twenty years ago, but it never made it through the clinical trials for FDA approval.”
Harper bit her lip as if she was trying to keep back from saying something. After a moment her lips parted. “It didn’t pass FDA approval? You aren’t really taking this drug, are you?”
Starling nodded. “It is the only thing that works.”
“From keeping you from going crazy?” Chance tried to reel the words back in, but they had already spewed past his lips.
“Is that what you think?” Starling glared at him. “I’m crazy?”
“That’s not what I meant. I just don’t understand, that’s all. You have to be patient with me.”
“What the hell do you think I’ve been doing?” Starling rebuked.
“Stop,” Harper said, putting her hands up. “I don’t think your dad’s trying to imply anything. Like he said, he just doesn’t understand.”
“Exactly, Starling. I just want to be able to figure out what is going on with you — so I can help.” Chance gave Harper a look of thanks.
“If you want to help, you need to find Dr. Eliot McDougal. He used to sell Jenna and Carey the drugs, but he won’t sell me any. I tried to call him today, but he wouldn’t answer. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
If the doctor was some piece of trash who took advantage of Jenna, Chance’s daughter, and his ex-wife by selling them drugs there would be hell to pay. He had to hope the doctor only had the purest of intentions in mind when he sold Carey drugs that hadn’t passed FDA approval. God only knew what side effects the drugs would have on his daughter — or why the drug had failed testing.
“Starling, I feel like I need to tell you that these aren’t the drugs you brought with you. We never searched through your things. We came across this package here in Jenna’s house. So you have whatever you have in your bag and now this. But before I give you this I want to know something.” Harper stared down at the innocuous looking brown package. “What happens if you don’t take the drugs?”
“I see more and more spirits.” The teen sucked in a breath. “The last time I was without my meds was a few years ago. It only took two weeks before I couldn’t get out of bed. When I don’t take my medication, the spirits become too much — the only place I can escape is in my sleep or my shift. Even then … sometimes they try to invade my mind … I need this. I can’t survive in a world full of spirits — not all of them are good.” Starling pulled the package into her chest like a precious possession.
“Did that have something to do with the incident at school today?” Chance forced himself to mimic Harper’s soft tone.
His daughter looked up at him and there were tears at the corners of her eyes. “I didn’t mean to lose my temper. My mom was there. She wanted to come through. She wanted me to write something. I haven’t talked to her much since she died. I started letting her in, but before she could tell me anything, the boy took my notebook. I don’t know what happened. The next thing I knew, I had blood dripping off my knuckles.” Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down her soft childlike cheek. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be like this. I just … I just can’t help it.”
His heart lurched and he kneeled down next to his heartbroken daughter. Reaching up, he wiped away the tear from her cheek. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. This isn’t your fault. You can’t control what is going on inside of you any more than you can control a river.”
Her beautiful brown eyes sparkled with unspent tears. “I’m not the person you must think I am.”
“I hope you are the girl I know you to be. You’re smart. Mysterious. You’re brave. I only just met you and I already love you with all my heart. You are my daughter. My child. I never thought I would be this lucky. We’ll do whatever we need to do to get you what you need.”
• • •
There was a steady stream of cars leaving Vegas. Their headlights lit up the night as the winners and the losers escaped what many called the den of sin, but what Harper merely thought of as a place for escape. For the next few days, her only goal would be to find Dr. McDougal and talk to him about getting more of the medication for Starling. If she found him, she could learn more about the drug and why it hadn’t passed federal testing. From there, maybe — just maybe — she could figure out what it was about the compound that acted as a buffer between Starling and the spirit world.
She would need to go about investigating without drawing attention to herself or what she was doing. If word got back to Merckson that she was sniffing around Shaw she’d undoubtedly come under fire. She would have to kiss her job goodbye. Her job was everything. Or at least it had been.
Over the last few days something had changed. Suddenly she wasn’t just living for herself anymore — and as much as she had originally been uncomfortable with their arrangement, it was starting to grow on her. The more time she spent with Chance and Starling, the more it began to seem like they had slipped into the roles of a family.
The truck bumped down the highway as Chance yawned from behind the steering wheel. Harper looked into the backseat of the cab. Starling’s eyes were shut and her chest rose and fell in the constant rhythm that came with sleep brought on through emotional exhaustion. Kodie had his head planted against the back window; his gold crown sparkled as another car passed by, casting light into his gaping mouth.
Harper turned back to Chance. “What are you going to do?”
He glanced over at her for a second, but then stared back at the road. “About what?”
“The drugs. Are you going to let her keep taking them?”
“I’m going to have to let her. They’re the only thing helping her. She needs them.”
“You do understand if the FDA didn’t approve these drugs, there’s something terribly wrong with them, don’t you?”
He glanced in the rearview mirror toward his sleeping daughter. “I know … but she’s a nymph, right? The drugs must not have the same effects as they would on a regular human, right?”
The memory of Jenna’s funeral sprang into her mind. For a moment, all she could see was the Chief Medical Examiner, Dr. Redbird, standing in front of her with her mousy brown hair and beaky nose, wanting to talk about Jenna’s demise. “Even we can die.”
“So you think these drugs are going to kill her?”
“Very few drugs out there can kill us, but there are a few — anything that makes us lose our hair or our feathers. All I’m saying is it would be best if we knew exactly what it is Starling is taking and who the doctor is who was giving it to her.”
“Didn’t you say this Shaw Pharmaceuticals is located in Vegas?” His fingers curled tight on the steering wheel.
“I was already thinking about that. When you start the tournament, I can find the company. Maybe I can pull some strings and meet Dr. McDougal. Maybe he’ll talk to me — I already know what he’s trying to hide. He won’t have another choice but to explain himself to me.” She tried to sound optimistic, but the sound fell flat. There were so many things that could go wrong. Heck, she’d be lucky to make it through the door of their facility. There was a rivalry between Merckson and Shaw — each had their share of secrets.
“What happens if he doesn’t talk to you?”
“Then we’ll have to hope and pray my company can figure out what drug Starling is taking, or else maybe we can try to find a replacement for her — something else that can help her get a handle on the spirits.”
The air stilled between them and the cars continued to flash by. In the distance, thousands of lights lit up the sky as Las Vegas came into view — an oasis of light in a lonesome desert.
Maybe she could appeal to McDougal’s softer side, convince him she needed to know the truth in order to save Starling’s life. Yet, as she thought about why the man would become involved with a nymph and her spiritually connected daughter, the less it seemed like appealing to his sensitivity would work. If he were anything like the men she worked with, he would be all business and driven by the ruler of capitalism — money.
Why did everything have to come down to money? Money had driven the men who had killed Jenna. Money had driven Kodie to be so desperate to take a loan out from a hustler. Greed was the reason they were coming here.
And then it struck her. She wasn’t all that different from the man who had sold Carey the drugs. There she was, only caring about getting back to work — to make more money. Money she didn’t really need, but was willing to give up relationships in order to get. She’d been so centered on her work for so long she’d forgotten all the things that were really important in her life — and her complacency had inadvertently caused her sister’s death. No matter how much money passed through her hands, it would never cleanse her hands of blood.
Kodie’s soft open-mouthed snores stopped as they made their way onto the Strip. To their left was a line of black limousines. The windows were tinted, hiding the parties that must have been going on inside. A yawn escaped from the back as Starling shuffled in her seat.
A valet stood outside of the Bellagio as they pulled up to the stand. When the man stepped up to the door Harper noticed the deep bags under his eyes and she glanced down at her watch. Seven
A.M.
It was going to be a long day.
The valet opened the door. “Hello, and welcome to the Bellagio.”
She stepped out with the help of the valet, who then made his way back to Starling’s door. A strange, pinched expression covered Starling’s face as she stared at the man in the suit jacket. She stepped out, not taking his offered hand. There was something wrong.
“Starling, you okay?” Harper whispered as the young woman stepped next to her and waited for the men to come around to the sidewalk.
“I’m okay.”
“Why didn’t you like the valet?”
The driver’s side doors of the truck closed with a slam.
“He looked like the boy who stole my notebook.”
“Don’t worry,” Harper whispered. “You’ll be okay. I’ll take care of you.”
Walking around the front of the truck, Chance palmed the man a bill as valet handed him his parking stub. With a wave, Harper motioned that she and Starling were going inside. Chance acknowledged her with a curt nod.
She’d forgotten how anything and everything in this city was bought with a smile and a cash-weighted handshake. It was a system she simultaneously loved and hated. There was a simplicity to it that was almost admirable. With enough money any secret could have been buried, but for only slightly more, any secret could have been bought — all one needed was a prolific bankroll and the right questions.
Greek statues stood guard at the doors that led into the grand hotel’s gold and marble laden lobby. Light streamed through the collection of hand blown glass sculptures adorning the lobby’s roof, casting a shimmering dance of colors across the pale marble floors.
The lobby was quiet with the exception of a group of men in black suits. One of the men had his blue tie off; at some point in the night he must have slung it over his shoulder and had forgotten it was there. His hair was disheveled and, as they walked toward them and the front desk, she noticed the thin veil of glitter plastered over the back of his expensive looking jacket. The man turned as she approached and he gave her a drunken smile. One of his blond friends listed and whispered loudly but unintelligibly into the ear of the man to his left.