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Authors: Wendy S. Marcus

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Wish I could be there when Krissy tells my mom and dad that they're grandparents. I get choked up thinking about it. Anyway, I know you'll do the right thing. Even so, I'll be watching.

Love you, man,

Jarrod

So Jarrod
had
trusted her.

...
because I know, without a doubt, she's going to be a fantastic mother.

Krissy's heart swelled with love. Then it deflated with loss because Jarrod wasn't here. Only Spencer was here—Spencer, who had only been a part of her life because Jarrod had asked him to be, guilted him to be.

And I expect you, my oldest and best friend, my blood brother since the third grade, to be there for her.

Krissy's eyes met Spencer's. “If you expected this letter to help your case, it didn't. Nice to know you're always so quick to see the bad in me.”

“So much for you agreeing to keep quiet and give me a chance to explain.”

Krissy crossed her arms over her chest, braced herself for what he was about to say, and glanced at the clock on the microwave. “Your ten minutes starts now.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

K
RISSY
SAT
ACROSS
from Spencer, looking hurt and ready to hurl her water glass at his head at the same time. Letting her read Jarrod's letter had been a risk. But if they were to have any chance for a future together, there could be no secrets between them.

“To start,” Spencer said. “The last time I saw you I acted like a total jerk.”

“An adequate description.” She nodded as if giving it further consideration. “A decent place to start.”

“I'm sorry.”

Her posture softened considerably.

“I need you to know that I wasn't being nice or helpful simply to get you into bed.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “You have to believe me.”

She stared back, but said nothing.

Not good.

“Sex with you has me thinking words like transcendent and unrivaled and unsurpassable. And let's face it, those aren't words I use on a regular basis.”

She gifted him with a small smile. “I like those words.”

He did too. “Why do you think that is?”

“We've got some crazy sexual chemistry going on.”

“No.” He reached over to take her hand into his. “It's because what's between us is deeper and more meaningful than just sex. My need for you is so much more powerful than simple sexual attraction. Regardless of what brought us together, I've come to care for you, Krissy.”

She shook her head and tried to pull her hand away.

He held on tight, wouldn't let her go until he said all he'd come here to say. “Yes, in the beginning I got involved with you because Jarrod had asked me to.”

“And probably because you thought I'd be a total screw-up of a mother.”

Seeing her hurt made him hurt. “Back when you first showed up at my door, I'd had no idea you'd grown up to be such a responsible, committed, and capable woman.”

Her eyes met his. “Thank you, Spencer. That means a lot.”

“I helped you because it was the right thing to do, because you needed my help. But honest to God, I enjoyed spending time with you. Which is why, even after I assured myself you were a wonderful mother and you were taking great care of J.J. and really didn't need anything from me, I kept on stopping by. Because I
wanted
to, not because I felt I
needed
to. Because I started to care for you...again.”

“Did you really have a crush on me back in high school?” She tilted her head. “You sure had an odd way of showing it.” She seemed to give it some thought. “Because of Jarrod.”

He nodded. “He'd been so in love with you for so long. I couldn't...”

Krissy squeezed his hand. “You're a great friend, Spencer.”

Sometimes he didn't feel like one.

“But even so,” she went on. “You shouldn't be expected to change your life, to take on responsibility for a woman and her baby, simply because your friend asked you to. Jarrod was wrong to—”

“No, he wasn't,” Spencer insisted. “I'm glad he asked. I know I didn't sound like it, but I'm happy having you and J.J. as part of my life. I know I'm not his father and I had no right to—”

“I was wrong,” Krissy interrupted.

What? “No.”

“Hear me out,” Krissy said. “I've given this a lot of thought. When we started sleeping together, I treated our relationship like I've treated every other sexual relationship I've had. I guarded my heart so you wouldn't break it, and I made sure to remain independent so that when whatever this is between us runs its course and we break up, I'll be just fine getting back to life on my own.”

Spencer tried to say something but Krissy shushed him.

“My point is, you were right. You'd taken on a fatherly role for J.J. and I let you. It's obvious to me that you love him as if he were your own son.”

“I do.”

“So like I said, I was wrong to make the decision to go see my mom, knowing the risks involved, without discussing it with you first. Even though you're not technically J.J.'s father, you're the closest thing he has to one.”

“Thank you. And I was wrong for throwing everything I've done for you back in your face, like Kira does. I was
happy
to go with you to Lamaze class, I
wanted
to be in the delivery room, and aside from leaky, smelly diapers and getting woken up in the middle of the night, I love everything else about being with you and J.J.”

“You do take good care of us, just like Jarrod had asked you to.”

Spencer's heart swelled with joy and pride and hope. “Thank you.”

“So where do we go from here?” Krissy asked, avoiding contact.

“I'm hoping we can try again,” Spencer told her.

She lifted her eyes to meet his. “I'd like that, too.”

Thank you, God.

“But from today on, things need to change.”

He didn't want things to change, liked them just the way they were.

“Don't look so worried,” she smiled. “I mean change as in we need to do things the right way this time. Go out on dates, just the two of us. Get to know each other again. Have fun. Go out with friends, together or alone. Have lives that aren't dependent on one another. Create a relationship based on more than taking care of J.J. and having great sex.”

He liked the sound of that.

“No more spending all of our free time together. One thing I've realized in our time apart is that I need to find a balance between me the mom and me the fun-loving woman I was before I became a mom. I need to make new friends and find things to do in my new hometown, which I've already started doing, by the way.”

“I saw you've been spending time at an exercise studio on Maple Street.”

“I'm taking a Mommy and Me class. We line all the car seats along the back wall. It's the cutest thing.” She stiffened.

Uh-oh.

“How did you know I was spending time at an exercise studio on Maple Street?”

He could have tried to lie. Maybe something like, “I saw your car in the parking lot.” But no, a future built on no secrets between them meant no secrets between them. He reached into his pocket, took out his cell phone, and accessed his Find Friends app. Then he turned the screen to her.

“Find Friends?”

“It's an app. I loaded it onto your phone.”

“At the hospital.”

He nodded.

“You've been tracking me?” This time when she pulled her hand away he let her.

He nodded again, waited for her to let him have it, felt everything slipping away. He'd lose her now for sure.

Surprisingly she didn't let him have it. All she did was ask, “Why?”

“I'd told you I would respect your privacy and not visit you without an invitation. I loaded the app so I could keep my distance but still see what you were up to.”

Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms over her chest. “To make sure I wasn't going out drinking and partying all night?”

“No,” he answered, staring her straight in the eyes, showing her he wasn't lying. It hadn't taken long for Spencer to realize how badly he'd misjudged her early on, and to know she was going to be a wonderful mother. “So I could feel close to you, without actually being close to you.” He told her the truth. “If that makes any sense at all.”

“So you know I've been staying with Kira for the last two weeks.”

He nodded again. “Had you been alone in your apartment, I wouldn't have waited until today to try to talk to you.”

Rather than yell and carry on like old Krissy would have, she sat calmly and quietly as if digesting all she'd just heard.

Spencer wouldn't allow himself to hope.

By the time she finally spoke, he'd been fully prepared to throw himself to the floor at her feet to beg for forgiveness.

Of all the things to come out of her mouth, “Thank you,” the two words in that exact order, were the absolute last two words he'd expected to hear.

Had he misunderstood? “You're thanking me for spying on you?”

Her eyes met his. “I'm thanking you for telling me the truth.”

The tightness in Spencer's chest loosened enough for him to take a deep breath. “I'll delete the app.”

“Good idea.”

He deleted the app. “And since I'm coming clean about my bad behavior...”

“Lord, help me.” She shifted in her seat. “You mean there's more?”

“Might as well get it all out now, right? So we can start over with a clean slate.”

“Why do I feel like I need a shot of something whiskey-like before you go on?”

“About that kiss in high school,” he said.

She let out a relieved breath. “You pushed me away because of Jarrod.”

“Yeah. And I got mean and obnoxious to keep you away.”

Her lips curved into a small smile. “Or I might have tried again.”

“When you wanted something, you were pretty persistent.”

“And I'd wanted you.”

“For the record, I'd wanted you too. If not for Jarrod, I would have claimed you as mine that night.”

She stood. “How about claiming me as yours right now?” She straddled his lap.

Overcome with relief and gratitude, hope and happiness, Spencer threw his arms around her and kissed her like the world might end if he didn't do it thoroughly enough, prepared to sit there, holding her until the end of time.

She held him just as tightly, and kissed him back with equal enthusiasm, his perfect match in every way. So he eased back, to tell her, “You are what my life's been missing. You're fun and passionate, a wonderful mother, and thank God, kind and forgiving. You're laid back, you go with the flow and I need that in my life.”

She countered with, “You're confident and sexy, dependable and smart, and you're going to make a wonderful father for J.J., I mean for as long as...” She broke eye contact, looking unsure.

“I'm going to make a wonderful father for J.J. period. End of statement.”

“About my mother,” Krissy started. “I want my children to know her, even though she showed little interest in J.J. when we brought him over.”

He'd been wondering about that. “I handled that all wrong. Of course you should take J.J. to visit her, anytime you want. I trust you to keep him safe. But if you want me to, I will happily dress up like a woman to go with you, not for safety, but to keep you company when you visit or have to care for her. I'd do anything for you, Krissy. And I hope that one day, you'll feel blessed to have me in your life, same as you feel Kira is blessed to have Derrick in hers.”

Taking his face in her hands and staring deeply into his eyes she said, “Baby, I already do.”

EPILOGUE

Ten years later

K
RISSY
ENDED
HER
call just as Patti walked into the kitchen of the house she and Spencer had been living in for the past nine years, since right after they'd gotten married in a double ceremony with Kira and Derrick.

“The boys will be home in ten minutes,” Patti said.

Krissy held up her cell phone. “I heard you talking to Bart. I called Kira. She'll be here with all the kids in half an hour.” That would give J.J. time to open his two very special presents without the craziness of having his younger brother and sister, and Kira's two children running all around, wanting to see.

Krissy glanced at the letter from Jarrod and the velvet box from Patti and Bart that she'd set on the counter, trying to contain her emotions.

Patti opened the refrigerator door, drawing her attention, and once again, Krissy could not believe her eyes. “You outdid yourself this year.” The race car cake Patti had created for J.J.'s tenth birthday celebration looked so realistic, Krissy hated the thought of cutting into it.

“Have to admit,” Patti said as she took the cake and carried it to the center of their huge dining room table. “I had to do a few trial runs to get it just right. The people at Bart's work were happy to help us get rid of the duds.”

This year J.J. hadn't wanted a big party. He'd only wanted two things, the letter from his dad up in heaven and to indulge his love of NASCAR and attend a race. For as much as J.J.'s looks and mannerisms, and his kind heart, were similar to Jarrod's, their son was most certainly his own person. His obsession with all things auto racing had caught everyone by surprise. But his very involved Grandpa Bart and his loving father here on earth, Spencer, had embraced his love of NASCAR, and went on to develop their own obsessions with it.

Ten minutes flew by in a blur of putting out drinks and food. Before Krissy knew it, the dog started in with his over-the-top happy ‘My family is home' barking. A few seconds later J.J. ran into the kitchen to hug his grandma and then Krissy. “We had the best time, Mom.”

Bart and Spencer followed, more slowly and lacking J.J.'s energy.

Krissy kissed Spencer's cheek. “An annual event?” she whispered.

“God, I hope not.” He hugged her close. “I'm exhausted.” They'd left at dawn and it was nearing seven o'clock in the evening. Thank goodness tomorrow Spencer had a day off from his work with NYC United, where he was now the head athletic trainer, so both he and J.J. could spend all of Sunday relaxing.

“Poor baby.” Krissy went up on her tiptoes as she pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear. “I missed you today.” Nine years of marriage and despite their crazy hectic lives, she loved him now more than ever. “I was hoping to show you how much.”

He nuzzled next to her ear. “I'm never too tired for that.”

A fact he'd proven time and time again.

“Can I open them now?” J.J. asked.

Krissy, Spencer, Patti and Bart all looked over to where he stood, holding the letter in one hand and the box in the other. The mood in the room instantly changed. J.J.'s excitement was almost palpable. But for Krissy, and she'd guess everyone else, this moment brought back Jarrod's loss once again. His son finally reading the letter he'd left for him would be bittersweet.

“What?” J.J. asked, with a look of frustration that so closely resembled a look Krissy had seen on Jarrod's face way too many times. “I took off my shoes and washed my hands and gave Grandpa Bart time to go to the bathroom.”

Grandpa Bart laughed. “That he did.”

Krissy smiled. The mood in the room seemed to lighten.

“Which one should I open first?” J.J. asked, eyeing the box then the envelope, trying to decide.

Bart stepped forward and pointed to the velvet box. “I think this one.”

Without question, J.J. set down the letter and lifted the top of the box. As he studied the contents he looked confused, maybe a little disappointed even, until Bart explained, “This is your daddy's Congressional Medal of Honor. It was awarded by the President of the United States. It's the highest and most prestigious honor given by the U.S. Military, for extreme acts of bravery and courage.”

“Wow,” J.J. said with awe and a good amount of reverence. He'd been told the story of how his father had died during a hostage rescue mission when he'd remained behind to lay down cover fire, saving his team, a downed pilot, and ten civilians. But this was the first time he'd been told about the medal.

Spencer stepped forward. “We waited to give it to you to make sure you were old enough to understand and appreciate how important it is, and responsible enough to value it and keep it safe.”

“I am.” J.J. looked up at Spencer. “And I will.” Then he turned to Krissy. “Can I bring it into school for show and tell?”

With tears gathering in her eyes and emotion clogging her throat, all Krissy could do was nod.

Leave it to Spencer to clarify, “On a day either me, your mom, grandma or grandpa is available to bring it into school for you.”

J.J. nodded.

Slowly he set down the box and picked up the letter, staring at Jarrod's handwriting, like Krissy had done before opening and reading her own letter, like he'd done so many times since learning of the letter's existence.

He looked at Krissy for permission.

She nodded again.

A tear leaked down her cheek. If only Jarrod were here to see what a wonderful young man his son had turned out to be.

Spencer put a big, strong arm around her shoulders and held her close. Krissy looked over to see Bart doing the same to Patti, all eyes on J.J.

With the utmost care, J.J. used a letter opener to slowly and precisely slice open the top of the envelope, the ripping of paper the only sound in the room.

The envelope opened, J.J. reached in and removed the letter taking a quick look inside of the envelope before setting it down beside the box.

Then he climbed up on a stool in front of the counter, unfolded the letter and started to read. J.J. was at the top of his class in reading. Even so, Krissy couldn't help wondering if he'd be able to decipher Jarrod's handwriting, if he'd understand all of the words. He sat there reading, so quietly, not moving except when he finished one page and moved on to the next. Krissy could barely breathe, not knowing what Jarrod had written or how her son would react. The seconds ticked by like hours.

At one point J.J. smiled down at the letter, then he laughed, a snort-laugh, just like his father.

Then his face grew serious.

He sniffled.

Krissy wanted to run to him and comfort him. But when she made a move toward him, Spencer held her in place, shaking his head slightly. “He can handle it,” Spencer whispered. So confident in the boy he'd raised as his own.

J.J. wiped his eyes then he smiled again and looked at Krissy. “Dad says hi. And that he loves you and wishes he could be here.”

That's all it took. The tears she'd been trying to keep under control started to flow down her cheeks. She sucked in a hiccupping breath. Spencer rubbed her arms and kissed the top of her head.

“Oh.” J.J. smiled. “He also said not to cry.”

Krissy smiled through the tears.

“What else did he say,” Patti asked, sounding hopeful.

J.J. jumped off of his stool and ran to Patti and Bart to give each one of them a hug. “That I have the best, most special grandparents in the whole world, which I already knew. And I should give each one of you a hug and kiss for him.” Bart bent down for a kiss. Patti did the same. “He says he loves you.”

That got Patti crying. Bart looked close to shedding a few tears, too.

J.J. walked over to Spencer, glanced at the letter and said, “Dad said you better be taking good care of me and teaching me to be a good man.”

“Doing my best, buddy,” Spencer said, messing up J.J.'s too long dark hair.

J.J. gave him a hug and Spencer bent down to squeeze him tight. The two of them shared such a close bond.

After releasing Spencer, J.J. walked back to the counter and dumped out the envelope. “Look,” he said, holding up a baseball card. “My dad's favorite baseball card.”

Bart said, “I was wondering what had happened to that. When he was young, like you, your dad used to sleep with it under his pillow hoping it'd make him a better baseball player.”

J.J. seemed to like the sound of that. “I'm going to try that too.”

Spencer whispered to Krissy, “It didn't work.”

Krissy gave him a hip check.

“And look at this.” J.J. held up a picture. “Dad in his uniform. A little one I can put in my wallet, someday, when I get a wallet. Like Dad has pictures of us in his wallet.” J.J. held up the picture then read the back. “‘To my special son. Love you always,'” he read. “‘Dad.'”

Then J.J. held up a hundred dollar bill. “Dad says I can use this money to buy whatever I want, from him.”

“You figure out what that is,” Spencer said. “And I'll take you shopping.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Sometimes it got confusing when J.J. talked about his dad, since he referred to both Jarrod and Spencer as Dad. Each held a special place in his heart, and each one was equally special to him, Krissy made sure of that.

J.J. started to fold up the letter.

“Wait,” Krissy said. “That was a three-page letter. What else did he say?”

J.J. laughed. “Dad said you'd ask me that.”

He knew her so well.

J.J. continued folding the letter and carefully slid it back into the envelope. “Private stuff. Just between me and him.” He looked her straight in the eyes and made a threatening face. “Dad said to mind your own business and no snooping.”

“What? I don't snoop!”

Spencer started to laugh. “Oh, yes, you do.”

Yes. She did.

“You'd better hide it good, J.J.,” Spencer teased.

“Oh, I will.” Their son ran up the stairs heading toward his room.

“Traitor,” Krissy said under her breath.

An hour later Krissy stood in her crowded, noisy living room watching J.J. tear into the rest of his presents, his eight-year-old brother and five-year-old sister helping like they had every right to be up front with him. They were such great children, all three of them. She'd been well and truly blessed.

Patti sat holding Kira's youngest, seven-year-old, Isabelle in her lap. Bart sat with his arm around Kira's oldest, nine-year-old, Kate. As far as Patti and Bart were concerned, they had five grandchildren, each one more special than the next. It seemed like Patti was always baking for some party or celebration and Bart took off the whole week leading up to Halloween to make sure everyone's costumes were just right, and attend all of the school parties, of course.

Spencer came to stand beside Krissy. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Just thinking about how lucky I am and all Jarrod has given me.” Patti and Bart, J.J. and Spencer and the two beautiful children she'd had with him.

Her handsome husband crossed his arms over his chest and said, “I'd like to think I had a little something to do with all this, too.”

“You had
a lot
to do with it,” she said. “But by asking me to have his baby if he didn't make it back from the war, and by making you the godfather of his baby, Jarrod brought you back into my life.” Krissy wrapped her arms around his waist. “And Patti and Bart.” And more love and happiness than Krissy had ever thought possible.

Spencer wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Hard to believe how much my life has changed since you showed up at my door a little over ten years ago.”

Krissy looked up at him. “I hope for the better.”

Spencer leaned down to kiss her. “Definitely for the better.” He hesitated. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Jarrod wasn't killed? If he'd come back a war hero? Would you have...?”

Krissy put her finger to Spencer's lips to stop him from talking. “I loved Jarrod. I still do. And I wish he could be here with us. But I never loved him, or any other man, for that matter, the way I love you. You're the only man for me,” she told him, squeezing him tightly. “You poor thing.” Sometimes her laid-back attitude drove him absolutely nuts.

“I love you, too,” Spencer said. “And don't worry about me. I can handle you.”

He could, better than anyone.

He leaned in close to whisper, “Tonight I plan to
handle you
...for hours.”

Krissy smiled, so happy, and absolutely loving her life. “I can't wait.”

* * * * *

If you missed the first story in the
NURSES TO BRIDES
duet look out for THE DOCTOR SHE ALWAYS DREAMED OF

And if you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Wendy S. Marcus:

NYC ANGELS: TEMPTING NURSE SCARLET
CRAVING HER SOLDIER'S TOUCH
SECRETS OF A SHY SOCIALITE
THE NURSE'S NOT-SO-SECRET SCANDAL

All available now!

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