The No Cry Nap Solution (18 page)

about being put to bed. And, of course, when he’s unhappy, he

cries, fusses, and complains—making each try-to-nap episode an

unpleasant one for you, too. So, review this list to determine if it

really is time to switch to one nap:

• When you put your child down for a nap, he plays or fusses

for thirty minutes or more before falling asleep and then

takes only a short nap or never falls asleep at all.

Shifting Schedules: Changing from Two Naps to One Nap
109

• Your child can go for car rides early in the day and not fall

asleep in the car.

• When your child misses a nap, he is cheerful and energetic

until the next nap or bedtime.

• Your child naps well for one of his naps but totally resists

the other nap.

How to Make the Transition When Signs

Point to Change

Instead of thinking in terms of
dropping a nap
, it’s better to think

in terms of a
schedule change
, as, in most cases, the new singu-

lar nap is really a melding of the two naps into one nap in the

middle of the two previous times. Often this one nap is longer

than either of the two previous naps but not quite as long as the

two together.

The change from two naps to one nap is rarely a one-day

occurrence. Most often there will be a transition period of several

months when your child clearly needs two naps on some days but

one nap on others, and on some days you’ll have absolutely no

idea if it’s a one-nap day or a two-nap day! You have a number of

options during this sometimes complicated transition time.

• Go with the fl ow, watch for your child’s sleepy signs, and

put your child down for a nap when those indications fi rst appear.

(Don’t launch into a long prenap routine, as your child might pass

though the sleepiness and get a second wind.)

• Keep two naps but don’t require that your child
sleep
at both

times; allow quiet resting instead (see “The Hush Hour,” on page

120). This often works best as one longer late-morning sleeping

nap and a shorter afternoon quiet-time rest period. If occasionally

your child falls asleep during the second naptime, you can either

let him sleep as long as he does—then be prepared to move bed-

110 Solving Napping Problems

time later—or gently wake him after an hour’s sleep to preserve

his usual bedtime.

• Choose a single naptime that is later than the usual morning

nap but not as late as the afternoon nap. Keep your child active

(and outside when possible) until about thirty minutes before the

time you have chosen. At that time, give your child a healthy

snack and begin a wind-down period and prenap routine. It may

help to break lunch up into two parts, serving half of her lunch

before her nap and half when she wakes up. For a few weeks she

may be fussy or whiny that last hour or so. It’s not her fault, so be

patient as she adjusts to the new schedule.

• On days when a nap ends up being early in the day, move

bedtime earlier by thirty minutes to an hour to minimize the

length of time between nap and bedtime. Make sure your child’s

bedroom windows are covered so that early light doesn’t wake him

up too soon the next morning. Once your child is up for the day,

keep the morning bright and busy until your child’s usual midday

naptime.

Sample Schedules

Every child is different, and every family functions in a unique way.

Yet you may be wondering what your schedule should look like, so

here are a few actual samples for you. I am not suggesting that you

adopt any of these (unless they work for you and your child), but I

have learned from experience that my readers like to have samples

to help them fi gure out how their own child’s day might look. Keep

in mind that every day is different, so there is some fl exibility in

setting a schedule: watch the clock
and
your child.

Here are a few routines of children who take one daily nap and

get an adequate amount of the important components of naptime,

meals, snacks, and nighttime sleep. In between these cornerstone

events, but not shown here, are hours of playtime and usual daily

activities:

Shifting Schedules: Changing from Two Naps to One Nap
111

Samples of Toddlers’ Daily Schedules*

Ryan

Daisy

Siobhan

Preston

16

19

22

23

Charlene**

months

months

months

months

25 months

Awake

7:30

7:00 6:45

8:00

9:30

Break fast

7:45

7:30

7:30

8:15

10:00

Snack

10:15

10:00

9:45

10:30

None

Lunch

11:30

12:00

11:00

12:30

1:30

Nap

12:15

1:00

12:45

1:30

2:30

2¾ hours

2½ hours

2 hours

1½ hours

2½ hours

Awake

3:00

3:30 2:45

3:00

5:00

Snack

3:30

Dinner

3:30

3:15

5:15

5:00

Dinner

5:50

Snack

5:30

5:30

Dinner

6:30

7:30

Snack

8:30

Prebed-

7:15

7:30

6:15

6:45

9:00

time

routine

Asleep***

7:45

8:00

7:30

7:45

9:30

11¾

11 hours

11¼

12¼

12 hours

hours

hours

hours

Total

14½

13½

13¼

13¾

14½ hours

sleep

hours

hours

hours

hours

hours

(nap plus

night)

*All times are rounded. (Life with children is not as exact as this chart appears!)

**Charlene has a later bedtime than is best for most children at this age, but she is able to sleep in late in the morning. This works with her family’s schedule. She gets ample nap and night sleep and is a happy, healthy child, so it is perfectly acceptable.

***The number of night sleep hours shown does not necessarily mean unbroken sleep, since brief awaking between sleep cycles is normal, and because 47 percent of toddlers and 36 percent of preschoolers wake up at least once per night and need an adult’s help to return to sleep. But that is another book . . .

Shifting Schedules

Time to Give Up Naps?

See also: Catnaps: Making Short Naps Longer;

Shifting Schedules: Changing from Two Naps

to One Nap; The Nap Resister: When Your

Child Needs a Nap but Won’t Take One

My three-year-old never wants to take her

nap. It takes me more than a half an hour

to settle her down before she fi nally falls

asleep. Is it time for her to give up napping?

Children approach life with boundless energy and enthusiasm.

They don’t understand the biological benefi ts of sleep, so they

see naps as an interruption to life—they don’t feel naps are neces-

sary. If it were up to them, they’d never sleep—day or night—until

they simply keeled over. Leaving the decision to nap up to your

child, then, is like allowing her to choose between vegetables or

ice cream for dinner—just as ice cream would win hands down,

your little one is unlikely to choose
sleep
over
awake
. Which leaves

the decision entirely up to the grown-ups in the house.

There is a difference between a child who
needs
a nap and

a child who would benefi t from a nap. If your child falls in the

“need” category, then I recommend you do everything you can to

preserve that daily sleep. (For more tips read the chapter “The Nap

Resister: When Your Child Needs a Nap but Won’t Take One.”)

If a nap is no longer a necessity for your child, then you might

consider switching to a daily quiet time or Hush Hour (see page

112

Shifting Schedules: Time to Give Up Naps?
113

Nadine, two years old

Approximately 85 percent of two-year-olds, 65 percent of

three-year-olds, 25 percent of four-year-olds, and 15 percent

of fi ve-year-olds take a nap every day or almost every day.

Biologically speaking, children are ready to give up daily

naps sometime between the ages of three and fi ve if they

get an adequate amount of nighttime sleep. Regardless of

the statistics or the averages, if your child needs a nap, he

falls into the 100 percent category: 100 percent of the chil-

dren who need a nap should take a nap.

Even if your child does fi ne all day without a nap, new

research points to the fact that naps continue to be benefi -

cial for human beings throughout their entire lives. So when

you wonder, “When should my child give up naps?” The

best answer may be “Never.”

114 Solving Napping Problems

120). This will set up a restful environment in which your child

can sleep on those days when she needs it or simply rest and reju-

venate on days when sleep isn’t required. A Hush Hour can set up

a healthy ritual that may serve your child for life.

Professional-Speak

“My belief, which is based on many years’ experience, is that

the single most signifi cant contributing factor to early child-

hood social/emotional/behavior/learning problems is sleep

deprivation.

“On any given day, a hugely disproportionate percentage

of the children in most classrooms appear visibly exhausted.

An exhausted child has less tolerance for frustration, less

impulse control, shorter attention spans, and depressed cog-

nitive abilities. They do not learn as easily or as much as a well-

rested child learns, nor do they retain what they have learned.

And they are just plain grouchy and hard to live with.

“I believe that children would perform better academi-

cally and develop stronger social skills if they continued to

have midday nap/rest times until they are seven or eight

years old.”

—Linda Crisalli, professional early childhood educator and

contributor, Child Care Exchange

How to Tell If Your Child Needs a Nap

If you watch carefully and if you know what to look for, you will

be able to tell if your child
needs
a nap. The three lists that follow