The Night that Changed Everything (18 page)

She knew that if she stayed, she wouldn’t be able to do that. She’d be stuck wanting what she couldn’t have. And she wasn’t going to settle for the affair he was willing to allow her.

No, damn it. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was going to forget him.

Forget her!

It should have been a mantra, Nick’s mind repeated it so often. He felt sometimes as if the words were emblazoned on the insides of his eyelids. They weren’t, of course.

There wasn’t room. That was where all the images of Edie resided—the ones that plagued him every time he closed his eyes.

There was Edie in the swimming pool, her dark hair streaming, her eyes alight with mischief. There was Edie in the adobe, prowling, poking, looking wistful, reminiscing. There was Edie tossing a salad, Edie across the dinner table, Edie at the Biltmore, smiling at him over her wineglass, offering him a bite of her pasta. There were visions of Edie romping with Roy, Edie feeding Gerald, Edie standing on the parapet at Mont Chamion, looking out over the fairy lights. There was Edie dancing barefoot. Edie in his arms.

Edie in bed.

So many, many memories of Edie in his bed. In
her
bed. Dear God, he couldn’t get them out of his mind.

The memories should have been enough. More than enough. He should have had his fill of her by now, be ready to move on.

But he hadn’t. He wasn’t.

And though he’d gone to the adobe to work the afternoon she’d left the house, he felt as if she were with him, humming in the other room, just out of sight. He couldn’t believe she was getting on an airplane, going to Thailand, for heaven’s sake!

It was stupid! Insane!

What they’d had together was amazing, marvelous. Unlike anything he’d ever had before with any woman—except for Amy.

No … not even Amy had been like Edie.
No one
was like Edie. No one made him laugh the way she did. No one was quite as enchanting. No one teased and tempted and at the same time gave so unstintingly of herself.

She had made him happy. And he obviously had made her happy because she claimed to have fallen in love with him.

And yet the stubborn woman threw it all away.

Fine,
he told himself angrily.
So be it.

If he’d got over Amy’s death, he could certainly get over Edie walking out. He didn’t need her. He didn’t want her. Permanence, commitment—
love!
—was the last thing he wanted!

So he’d forget her. He’d finish up the adobe because it was his job—and he’d never mix business and pleasure again.

Never.

“Miss? There is a gentleman …” Malee, the housekeeper, opened the door a crack to the room Edie was using for an office. She smiled apologetically when Edie looked up, startled.

“A gentleman?” Edie felt the bottom drop out of her stomach at the same time hope went winging heavenward. She shut her eyes. Thank God. “Show him in,” she said, wiping damp palms on the sides of her linen trousers as she stood up and tried to compose herself.

It had been a week. She’d almost given up hope. She took a deep breath as Malee pushed the door open wider and stepped back.

Kyle Robbins walked into the room. “Edie!” The trademark gorgeous Robbins grin lit his face.

Edie felt the light go out of hers. “Kyle,” she said dully. Her stomach felt like lead.

He raised his brows as he read her body language. “Good to see you, too,” he said with obvious irony.

“I—wasn’t expecting you.” Edie hoped she didn’t come down too hard on the “you” part of that sentence. “What are you doing here?” she demanded. “If Mona put you up to this—”

“Mona invited me,” he said, “to go over a script with her. We’re doing a film together next month. You know that,” he reminded her. “You set up this meeting.” Which, now that Edie thought about it, was the absolute truth.

Mona habitually asked to spend a week or so going over a script with the other actors she’d be working with. Kyle was one of those actors. And now that he mentioned it, Edie did vaguely remember setting up this meeting.

But she’d done it when her every thought had been revolving around Nick. And it was testimony to how little Kyle mattered anymore that the emails she’d exchanged with him had barely even registered on her radar.

“I forgot,” she said, shrugging lamely.

Kyle grimaced wryly. “Which pretty much shows me where I stand.”

“Yes,” Edie said frankly.

He nodded. “I’m sorry. Many years too late. I was an idiot. I handled things badly.”

“You were unfaithful,” Edie corrected.

He winced, but then he nodded. “Like I said, I was a fool. But—” he sighed “—Jake is the one thing about my marriage I don’t regret.”

And he turned and through the doorway, Edie could see that Kyle hadn’t come alone. Out in the other room a young boy sat on the sofa. The baby Serena had been expecting, the reason Kyle had broken off his relationship with Edie.

“If I’d known you were here, I would never have—”

But Edie shook her head. “I’d like to meet him,” she said quite honestly.

Kyle’s eyes lit up. “He’s a great kid. You’ll love him. Maybe you and I—”

“No,” Edie said.

But she would like to meet Jake. And she imagined Jake would like to meet the twins. If he was going to be around for a week or so, they could have a good time—and she could keep even busier.

She needed to stay busy—because Nick wasn’t coming after her. She’d hoped. But he’d had a week. If it were going to happen, it would have happened by now.

She needed to face facts, needed to face the truth.

She might love Nick Savas fervently and foolishly, but however much she might wish it was otherwise, Nick wasn’t willing—or wasn’t able—to return her love.

She wasn’t coming back.

He’d thought she would. Even though he’d told himself to forget her, that she didn’t matter, that he was better off without her, deep down somewhere inside him, Nick couldn’t quite manage to convince himself.

So he did the next best thing. He told himself she’d realize she was wrong, that she was throwing away something good—and she’d come back.

He would be gracious about it. He wouldn’t say, “I told you so,” even if he had. He wouldn’t point out how foolish she’d been to run or how much time she’d wasted that they could have been spending together.

He’d just smile and hold out his arms to her. He’d catch her up in an embrace and carry her off to bed and show her what she’d been missing.

Every time he thought about doing that, he smiled.

It was pretty much the only time he smiled all day. He spent
almost every waking hour at the adobe working his tail off. He might as well. He had nothing else to do with his waking hours. And the hours he was supposed to be sleeping—well, he wasn’t doing much of that. He might as well have been working then, too.

When she came back, he’d show her how much he’d accomplished. She’d love it. She’d smile and tell him about growing up there. She’d make him see it in his mind’s eye. But then every day that she didn’t come back, his hopes faded a little bit more.

And then a week after she left, he was dragging himself back, grim and exhausted, to Mona’s house one evening, when Roy ran ahead, barking.

Nick came around the corner of the garage and saw a strange car in the driveway. The trunk lid was up. The front door was open.

He stopped and stared. Hope soared.

Then he started to grin, and scrubbed eagerly at his filthy face with the T-shirt slung round his neck. He began to sprint toward the door—and skidded to a halt as a woman came out of it.

“Rhiannon?”

It was, with Roy bouncing eagerly around her. Edie’s sister paid Roy no attention at all. She was staring at Nick, equally stunned.

“Where’s Edie?” she demanded.

“In Thailand.”

Rhiannon frowned. “In Thailand? Why? Who are you?”

She didn’t
know?
He guessed he shouldn’t be surprised. “Nick Savas. We met at my cousin’s wedding. What are you doing here?”

Whatever answer he might have thought he was expecting, he wasn’t expecting the one he got. She burst into tears.

“I need Edie!” Great noisy sobs erupted and her face grew blotchy and red. It seemed far too theatrical to be real, but a moment’s
reflection told him that she couldn’t possibly be doing this on purpose. These sorts of sobs made her far too ugly.

“For God’s sake, Rhiannon,” he said, caught halfway between wanting to pat her on the back and wanting to run in the other direction. “Stop that! What’s wrong?”

She gulped, started to speak. Then started crying again and he had to wait for her to stop to get an answer at last. “Andrew’s b-broken our en-g-gagement!” And, of course, the tears started up again.

Nick shifted from one foot to the other. He debated offering her his filthy T-shirt to mop up her face, then decided against it. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” he said awkwardly, not sure at all.

“H-he did!” Rhiannon dug in the pockets of her jeans and came up with a handkerchief that looked as if it had seen her through earlier bouts of tears. “And—and I deserve it. It’s all … all my f-fault!”

Now that Nick could believe.

“I was trying to make him jealous. He spends so much time swimming! Matt doesn’t mean anything!”

Uh-oh.

“He’s just a f-friend. But Andrew got the wrong idea. Edie s-says I don’t think Andrew has feelings.”

He could believe that, too. “Go inside,” he ordered her. “I’ll bring in your cases, then make you a cup of tea.”

Rhiannon managed a watery smile. “A cup of tea?”

He shrugged, feeling stupid and awkward.

But she nodded and sniffed. “Tea would b-be good. Edie makes me tea. You’re like Edie.”

He wasn’t, God knew. On the other hand, it might be the biggest compliment he’d ever received.

He brought in her cases, put on the kettle, then went upstairs, scrubbed his face and pulled a clean shirt over his head. He wished she’d go away, and yet at the same time, he was glad
she was here. She was a link to her sister, even if she obviously hadn’t spoken to Edie in days.

When he came back downstairs, Rhiannon was coming out of the powder room. She’d washed her face, too, but it was still blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot.

“I don’t know what to do.” She trailed after him into the kitchen, like a lost soul. “What should I do?”

Nick made tea and thrust the mug into her hand. “Drink this.”

She took a sip. Then, clutching the mug as if it were a life preserver, Rhiannon carried it to the sofa and curled up in one corner. “Edie would know what to do.” She sobbed into her tea mug, then lifted her gaze and fixed it on Nick. “What should I do?”

As if he were some love-and-marriage guru. As if he were Edie. What would Edie do?

He asked, “Where is Andrew?”

“Here.”

Nick looked around, wondering if somehow he hadn’t noticed Andrew in the room. “Where’s here?”

“At home. His parents live about a mile from here. He’s with th-them.” She was sobbing again. “He won’t talk to me.”

“Have you tried?”

“N-no.”

“Well, then—”

“He says h-he’s done. That he’s getting a new girlfriend! He says he hates me.”

That was the first thing that sounded promising. “He doesn’t,” Nick said firmly. “Go talk to him.”

“But—”

“Listen.” Nick sat down beside her on the couch and leaned toward her, absolutely earnest. “If Andrew says he hates you, he’s trying not to love you. He’s not there yet.”

Rhiannon looked at him, eyes wide. She sniffed. Twice. “Are you s-sure?”

Was he? What the hell did he know about love?

A lot, came the wholly unexpected answer. He’d been in love once. He was in love now—with Edie.

The recognition hit him like a fist in the gut.

“But what if he has a new girlfriend?” Rhiannon was demanding.

It didn’t matter. Just like it hadn’t mattered that Derek Whats His Name had tried to muscle into Edie’s life. “What if he does?” Nick challenged her. “Are you just going to sit back and let her have him?”

“I—” She stopped and looked at him helplessly.

“You can,” Nick said, “if he doesn’t matter to you. Or if you can pretend he doesn’t matter.” He let the words sink in. “Or—” his eyes bored into hers “—you can take a risk.”

Take a risk. Take a risk. Take a risk. The words pounded inside his head.

Rhiannon didn’t answer. She stared at him. Then she stared into the mug of tea. Nick didn’t care what she did. The words were beating a tattoo in his brain.

Then Rhiannon lifted her gaze and met his. “I’m going to take the risk.”

Her words dropped like stones in a quiet pool. Nick could almost see the ripples. Certainly he could feel them.

She didn’t finish her tea. She put the mug on the counter, ran a brush through her hair, dabbed her cheeks dry again, but at the last minute grabbed a tissue box to take with her.

“Just in case” she told Nick who was still sitting on the couch, her words—a reply to his own challenge—still echoing in his head.

She paused beside him, then bent to kiss his cheek. “Thank you,” she said. “I hope you’re right.”

Nick watched her go. As soon as she was out the door, he picked up his phone and called the airline, hoping to God that he was right, too.

T
HE
problem with running away when you were an adult was that, eventually, you had to go home.

Edie knew that. She accepted it. She’d just hoped she would have done a better job of putting Nick behind her before she did so.

God knew she’d tried. She’d thrown herself with a vengeance into life in Thailand. Besides doing her regular work for Mona, she’d spent vast amounts of time with the twins and Grace. And because he was there, and he really didn’t matter to her now, she even found herself going out with Kyle and his son, Jake.

But however much time she spent with them all, it wasn’t enough.

No matter where she was, no matter what she was doing, Nick was always with her.

She wouldn’t be able to move on until she’d gone home and faced him—or at least faced the renovation of the adobe he’d left behind. That might not work, either. But since Mona’s film was finished and they were all leaving the country, it was the only hope she had.

“You don’t have to go home,” Kyle told her when she brought him his boarding passes that afternoon. He and Jake were going to the Caribbean for a couple of weeks before Kyle started work with Mona on the new film. Now he was sitting in Mona’s garden watching Jake roughhouse with Dirk. But after tucking the
boarding passes into his pocket, he turned to her with a brilliant smile and said, “Tear yours up. Come with us.”

Edie shook her head. “Thanks, but I can’t.”

“You’re not happy,” Kyle pointed out. That had been obvious to everyone, though Edie had done her best to pretend.

Now she shrugged. “So I should bring my unhappiness to you?” She laughed a little ruefully. “Thanks, but I don’t think so.”

“I could make you happy,” Kyle said with his customary confidence. But then his grin faded a little and he said, “I could try, Edie.”

“Kyle—”

“I know you said forget it. But we were good together once—until I screwed it up. I was a fool.” He shook his head. “I’ll always regret that.”

“But you don’t regret Jake.”

And he turned his gaze to watch his son playing with the twins. For a long moment he watched, and then he turned back to her. “No,” he said quietly. “I don’t regret that.”

They both stood silently then, and Edie wondered if she was being a fool, too, throwing away a chance at some sort of happiness just because it wasn’t with the man she really wanted?

But there was only one answer to that.

“Thank you,” she said, looking up into his eyes, smiling and shaking her head. “But I can’t. I will always be your friend, but I don’t love you.”

Kyle’s expression was rueful. “Nothing more than I deserve,” he allowed. “Still, if you change your mind, you’ll know where to find me.” Then he dipped his head and kissed her on the lips.

“What in the hell are you kissing him for?”

Edie spun around.
Nick?

Yes, Nick! Stone-faced and furious, Nick was standing in the living room glaring at her. Behind him by the open front door, a nervous Malee was wringing her hands.

Edie stared, stunned, her mind reeling. What was he doing
here? Her pulses started to pound. More to the point, why did he care who she kissed? He didn’t want her—except in his bed.

Now she bristled. “I’ll kiss whoever I want!” She drew herself up and glared right back at him. “And for that matter, what the hell are you doing here?”

His jaw worked. He was still holding a duffel bag, which he dumped on the floor. “I need to talk to you.” His gaze was glittering, his chest heaving.

“About what?” Edie asked, afraid to hope. She’d already done that. Couldn’t do it again.

“You don’t have to talk to him,” Kyle said quietly.

“She damned well does,” Nick bit out.

“You don’t,” Kyle insisted, stepping between her and Nick. She thought Nick might pick him up and throw him into the pond.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Kyle asked her. “Or should I beat him to a pulp?”

“Like to see you try,” Nick ground out.

Kyle didn’t back down. Nick took a step forward. Malee, the twins and Jake all sucked in a collective breath.

“Let him talk,” Edie said unsteadily. “What’s so important that you came halfway around the world?”

His eyes were fixed on her, still glittering. “Rhiannon needed you,” he told her. “You weren’t there.”

His words crushed any hope she had left. She felt numb. “And you came all the way to Thailand to tell me that?” It didn’t make any sense.

Nick shook his head. “No, but it got me here.”

“I don’t understand.” Had something happened to her sister? There had been messages from Rhiannon. Lots of them. But Edie had taken a page out of Mona’s book. She’d made up her mind to stop trying to fix Rhiannon’s love life. Now, all of a sudden Edie felt dread.

“What happened to Rhiannon?” she demanded.

“I’ll tell you,” Nick answered evenly, “but I’d prefer it without an audience.”

“You don’t have to listen to him, Edie,” Kyle reminded her.

Nick opened his mouth, but Edie cut him off. “It’s all right. Come on,” she said to Nick. “We’ll go in the office.”

She led the way, aware of him right behind her. But she didn’t look back until he’d shut the door behind them.

Then she turned and demanded, “Tell me! What about Rhiannon? What’s happened?”

Nick grinned faintly. “She’s fine. All patched up with Andrew. Married to him, as a matter of fact.”

Edie’s legs felt suddenly like jelly. “
What?!”

Nick shrugged. “I wasn’t quite expecting that, either. But she came home three days ago. No, maybe four—what day is it?”

“Friday,” Edie said absently. “Tell me.” She had to be hearing things.

“Right.” He dragged a hand through his hair. He looked terrible. Sleepless, pale, with dark circles under his eyes, hair rumpled and at least a couple of days stubble on his jaw. And beautiful, too. She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him. She didn’t dare. So she balled her fingers into fists.

“She came looking for you,” Nick said. “Crying. The world had ended. Andrew was finished with her. It was all her fault. She loved him so.” Nick looked harassed at the memory.

Edie nodded. Yes, that sounded pretty much like Rhiannon.

“Wanted to know what she should do,” Nick went on. “I mean, how the hell should I know?” Now he looked beyond harassed. He began pacing around the small office, rubbing his hand through his hair, kneading the muscles at the back of his neck.

“You who don’t do relationships, you mean?”

He shot her a glance and then hunched his shoulders. “Pretty much. So I thought, what would you do?”

“And what would I do?” Edie asked curiously.

He shrugged. “I made her a cup of tea.”

Edie swallowed a smile. She didn’t feel like smiling. She felt like crying. “I’m sure that helped,” she said gravely, past the lump in her throat.

“It did,” Nick said shortly. “And then I told her to go talk to him. Told her he still loved her.”

“How would you know a thing like that?”

“Because, damn it, she said he’d told her he wasn’t going to. Like it was a choice!”

“I thought it was a choice,” Edie reminded him quietly.

“That’s rubbish,” Nick said flatly. “You can’t stop it. It’s destiny.” He was looking square at her. “Like I love you.”

The world stopped. Sound stopped. Well, maybe not sound. Edie could hear the twins and Jake yelling in the garden. But all the rest of the sounds in the world.

And her heart. Her heart stopped, too.

She stared at him. Mute. Disbelieving.

“I love you,” Nick repeated, his voice ragged. He looked miserable.

“And that’s what you came to tell me?” Edie ventured, unsure, though her heart was singing, whether this was a good thing or not. Nick certainly didn’t look as if he were thrilled by the discovery.

He looked as uncertain as she felt. And then he demanded, voice cracking, “Whatever happened to ‘I love you, too’?”

And then Edie understood. She saw his pain for what it was—fear. But he had vanquished it. He had said the words. He’d believed them!

And that was what mattered. She flew to him then, and threw her arms around him. “I love you, too!” And she kissed his rough chin, his stubbled jaw, his warm, hungry mouth.

Nick caught her to him, kissing her, wrapping her in an embrace so tight she could barely breathe. It didn’t matter. What breath she had was for him. She kissed him back, hungry for him, desperate for him. She wanted him here and now, but there was one office chair in this room—and one small desk.

He looked around at the same time she did, saw what she saw and came to the same conclusion, saying ruefully, “Bad planning.”

She laughed unsteadily. “Later,” she promised. Then, “There will be later, won’t there?”

“Please, God,” Nick said fervently.

“There will,” Edie vowed. “There will,” she said again, knowing he needed to hear it. “It won’t be like Amy.”

“You don’t know that,” Nick said roughly.

“You’re right, of course. I don’t. I don’t know what happened.”

“She had an aneurysm,” Nick said. “No one knew she had anything wrong. Then, two days before the wedding, she just—” He stopped, couldn’t go on.

Edie kissed him again, then rested her cheek against his. “I’m sorry. So very sorry.”

“So am I. It was my fault.”

“Aneurysms aren’t anyone’s fault,” Edie protested.

“Not that. Putting off the wedding. She didn’t care about the house being done. I shouldn’t have made her wait.”

“You can’t second guess that,” Edie told him.

“I know. And yet—” he shook his head wearily “—I couldn’t help it. I wanted to die, too. I never wanted to go through it again. I chose not to.” He raised his head and met her gaze now. “At least I tried to.”

“I’m glad it doesn’t work like that,” Edie said softly. She still had his fingers wrapped in hers. They lay against his chest, and beneath them she could feel the steady solid beat of his heart.

“I am, too.” Nick turned his head and his lips touched her forehead. He kissed her. He kissed her hair. “Will you marry me?”

As much as she wanted to hear the words, when she did, they were unexpected. “Is that what you want?” she asked, needing to be sure.

Nick nodded. “It is.” A corner of his mouth quirked. “I asked Rhiannon if she was going to fight for Andrew, if she dared to
take the risk. She did. And I knew that if she had enough guts to go after what she wanted, I should damned well take the risk for you.” He bent his head and touched his lips to hers. “I love you, Edie.”

And Edie believed then. Trusted. And put her heart in his keeping. “I love you, too. And yes, please, I’ll marry you.”

His wedding day scared the hell out of him.

Not that Nick let on.

He figured Edie knew. She seemed to know what he was thinking even before he thought it. But everyone else was focusing on the bride. So was he. He wasn’t superstitious. He didn’t think lightning struck in the same place twice. But he couldn’t stop worrying. He didn’t want to lose her.

If Amy had been his first love, Edie was his forever love. She was his heart and his soul. She gave the meaning to every breath he took.

And as he waited for her to come down the stairs of her mother’s house and walk out onto the
ramada
in her bridal gown to marry him, he knew that his heart was hammering, his collar was strangling him, his fingers shook.

Next to him, his cousin Yiannis, the best man, murmured, “You’re not going to faint, are you?”

And the terrible thing was, Nick couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t say anything at all. He could only wait.

And then, there she was—his beautiful dark-haired bride, his Edie—coming to meet him, her eyes alight with joy, her smile just for him.

He breathed again.

“Thank God,” Yiannis murmured.

“Have you got the ring?” Nick asked under his breath.

“Ring?” Yiannis looked blank. Then at Nick’s look of pure terror, he grinned. “I’ve got it right here.” He patted his pocket. “No getting out of it now.”

“I don’t want to,” Nick said as Edie reached him and he took her hand in his. “Let’s do this.”

They did it.

Short, sweet. An absolutely perfect wedding with only family and close friends around, followed by a reception for Rhiannon and Andrew as well as for them. It had been going on for hours.

But Nick and Edie weren’t there.

They were going on their honeymoon.

“Where are we going for our honeymoon?” she asked. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“You’ll see soon enough,” he said.

“Will I like it?”

“I hope so.”

They were in her apartment getting ready to leave. They could hear the music and the dancing and the celebration across the driveway in the house. Rhiannon and Andrew were enjoying it immensely. Nick was glad they had been there. He was ready to move on.

“I don’t even know what to bring,” she said plaintively. “I don’t know what to wear.”

“I’ve packed for you. And what you’ve got on is fine for now,” he told her. She’d changed out of her wedding dress into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt just to relax.

“This?” She looked askance.

“Perfect,” he told her. He grabbed the bag he’d packed in one hand and took hers in the other. “Come on.”

He took her down the stairs, but when she would have gone toward the car in the garage, he turned the other way, toward the trees.

Suddenly Edie stopped, and Nick knew she understood. “Nick?” She had a stranglehold on his hand and was looking at him, her eyes wide, wondering.

He gave her a gentle tug. “Come on.”

She hadn’t been to the adobe since they’d come back from
Thailand. She hadn’t had much time. They’d arranged the wedding in less than a week. And the few times she had suggested going to check out his progress, he’d found reasons to put it off.

Now he felt a flicker of the old familiar fear as he took her hand and led her up the hill and down the other side to where the old adobe waited.

A softly glowing porch light welcomed them in the waning twilight. It looked good. The front steps were solid, the porch wide, with low-slung wood and leather Spanish style chairs for sitting outside on a warm afternoon.